i sat up in bed. it was around two in the morning-i think. but what awoke me was the movement. i was getting used to todd's panic attacks and phobias, so the occasional night terror fazed me not. but tonight, there was something wrong. well, more wrong than usual. he was tossing and sweating. then, i realized that he had stopped breathing. of course i panicked and shook him awake. he's alright now-somehow we managed to console each other's horror, but i think that, for the rest of my life, i will carry that fragile image in some dark corner of my mind's eye.

chapter 4: coming clean

todd couldn't stop his hands from shaking. she would be home any minute now. he was going to tell her now. there was no stopping this. and there was ever so much to tell. with a shaking hand todd brushed the dark hair out of his eyes. his thoughts were dark and repetitive. he heard the dull noises of her key in the lock. "oh, hi todd?" she smiled. but then her eyebrows knitted. "what's the matter?" "umm.." now's your chance to back out, a voice whispered in his head. "jopie, there's something i need to talk to you about." he wouldn't meet her eyes. "what's the matter?" she repeated, her eyes widening. with a small "squee"-ish squeak, todd rolled up the sleeves of his sweater.