For you Yankees fans out there: *I* don't think they suck (have no feelings to them whatsoever) so don't take it too hard g. Just lean back and think of HOW many times they've kicked the Braves' asses in the past 10 years (I've lost count at this point!). So Jay's just a little bitter…
And Luke's favorite team is the Minnesota Twins. Think about it ;)
* * *
Ch. 7: The Monkey Wrench Gang
* * *
Lorelai walked past the diner on her way to Miss Patty's studio, then stopped in her tracks. She should see if Luke was there.
He was, of course, because he spent ninety-nine percent of his life in that building. She poked her head through the door. "You coming?" she asked. Rory was at Lane's, burning CDs while Mrs. Kim was safely away at the meeting, so Lorelai wanted company.
"It's a meeting for the PTA," he said as if that explained everything, and went back to doing his diner things.
"So?" Lorelai wasn't easily deterred.
"So, I'm neither a Parent, Teacher, or Association."
"Yes, but it's that all important meeting the night before the school year starts. So every one in town goes, even if they're not a P, T, or A. You will have no customers."
Luke shrugged. Lorelai knew he was almost ready to give in. "If you don't, I'll very loudly tell every one I see on the way to the meeting that I got E. coli from your burgers."
"If that was true you'd be dead. You eat half a cow a day."
"Heavens to Betsy. Now, come on! Think of all the mocking potential that would be going to waste. You're Mr. Conservation guy."
"Yes. We must preserve our national supply of mocking potential. It may even be more important than water one day."
"See? You're mocking already. So mock with me."
"I'm still open."
"No one's gonna come in." Lorelai pouted, the Sexy Pout. "You know you wanna mock."
"Dirty," Luke said, but grabbed his keys.
Lorelai did a victory dance in her head. No guy could resist the Sexy Pout! He locked up the diner, and they walked to Miss Patty's.
"Thank you," Lorelai said.
"It's just a meeting," Luke said, slightly uncomfortable.
"Not for going. Well, yeah for going, too. But for talking to me. For being Old Luke again."
He shrugged. "Old Luke? What am I, a dog? You planning on shooting me any time soon?"
Lorelai hit him. "Did you have to bring up that movie? You know how…I get," she sniffled. "Damn it! Stupid movie. Stupid dog. Stupid rabies."
"Good, we're here. Maybe the meeting will cheer you up."
Lorelai brushed away the threatening tear. "Promise you'll insult Taylor and Kirk at least once each?" She batted her wet eyelashes. "For me?"
"I'll see what I can do." He opened the door and they found a seat in the back. The meeting had already started, but Babette waved at Lorelai.
Lorelai waved back.
Babette waved harder, finally making it clear that she wanted Lorelai to come to her. Lorelai got up from her chair and tip-toed down the row, sitting in the empty seat by Babette's side.
"What's up?" she whispered.
"I have been dying to ask you that myself! First Patty tells me that Luke and the new girl went to a baseball game together, and then yesterday I see them at Doose's. I don't want to alarm you, dollface, but I think something might be going on."
"Nothing's going on, Babette." Lorelai had seen them talk, and they didn't seem all that close. He was just an acquaintance. An acquaintance that went with Jay to baseball games in a dirty city two hours away, her mind pointed out.
"Well, Patty has been keeping an eye out," Babette said, and Lorelai instantly knew it meant Patty'd been watching Luke's diner with her binoculars from her studio. "And she hasn't seen any undeniable evidence yet, but she can't watch the place twenty-four hours."
"She could if she set up a video camera."
"You are just too smart! I'll mention that to her."
Lorelai rolled her eyes. "I wasn't serious. You can't tape Luke's life; he's not Gotti."
Babette shrugged, obviously not hindered by ethics. "We're just looking out for you, darling. The whole summer we were waiting for you two to make up, and then it looks like you guys are getting along again, but wham! A wrench is thrown into the works."
"Jay is not wrenching anything."
Babette grabbed Lorelai's forearm and leaned closer, to stress the importance of her words. "Are you sure about that?" Lorelai groaned and got up.
When Lorelai returned to the seat next to Luke, he asked her what Babette wanted.
"Oh, she and Patty were going to the strip club on Saturday and invited me. I can't go, but I told her Rory'd be happy to take my place."
Luke just shook his head.
"So, what did I miss?" Lorelai asked in regards to the meeting.
"Absolutely nothing. Something about Open House, and a refresher on the dress code. There was a good opportunity to take a jab at Taylor, but I held back since you wouldn't have heard it."
"You're such a considerate man, Luke Danes."
"Keep it a secret and I'll give you coffee without you having to beg for it."
Lorelai grinned. "But the begging is fun!"
"More like annoying."
"Oh, you know you'd miss it if it was gone. Like a leg. Or the copy of TV Guide."
"I don't use TV Guide."
She thought of something. "Did they say when Open House is?"
"Probably."
"Because you should go."
"Why's that?"
"Doesn't Jess go to high school? Or did you ship him off to the military?"
"Yeah, but…"
"But Jess, being the sterling example of a student that he is, will most likely force you to be on a first-name basis with his teachers. So you can use Open House to butter them up. Make with the nice-nice." Lorelai realized something then. Jay had mentioned she had a couple senior classes to teach. "On second thought, don't butter up the teachers. No one likes a kiss ass."
* * *
Luke followed through on his promises, managing to antagonize Taylor twice and insult Kirk once. Lorelai had smirked, until she'd looked up at the front and seen Jay smirking as well. That wasn't good. Lorelai was quiet the rest of the meeting, lost in her thoughts.
When it was over, Miss Patty pulled her aside, promising Luke she'd return Lorelai in a few minutes.
"Do you want us to be mean to her?" Miss Patty said quite bluntly.
"Huh? Give me a little backstory to work with here."
"The new teacher that waves to Luke every time she jogs by his window. We're willing to gang up on her if you want us to, sweetie."
"This is my punishment for dropping out of high school, right? Being forced to endure its pettiness even after sixteen years?"
Miss Patty was undeterred. "Did you hear they went to a baseball game together last week? I heard it from Jess when I was at the diner for breakfast the other day; a body to die for, but he's not the most reliable, so I asked Taylor. And he said he saw them get out of a car together last Saturday night while he was inspecting the new paint job on the gazebo, and she had on a baseball hat!"
"Slow down there, Columbo."
"I know a thing or two about men, precious. And under all that flannel and gruffness, Luke is a man. I wouldn't mind getting a good look at how much of a man either, let me tell you." Patty spaced out for a while. Lorelai tried not to think about what Patty was thinking about; it might cause her brain to melt.
"Patty?"
Patty snapped out of it. "Sorry, dear. I was imagining. Now where was I? Oh, yes, Luke is a man. And when a new bitch comes to town, all the male dogs will be sniffing her ass."
"Patty!" Lorelai wondered if Patty was drunk. Lorelai wondered if she was drunk. That might explain why Patty wasn't making any sense.
"All men are dogs," Patty said, as though that explained everything. "And mark my words, if you don't defend your territory, it's not your hydrant Luke will be lifting his leg over."
"Are you drunk?" Lorelai asked, unable to resist.
Patty shrugged "A little. These P.T.A. meetings can be dull."
Lorelai shook her head. "Patty, Luke is just a friend." Lorelai felt like she'd said that so many times it was becoming meaningless. But only because she'd said it so much, not because it wasn't true.
Miss Patty waved her cigarette in the air, making dramatic little swirls. "You say that, dear, but don't forget I'm a performer. And I know when someone's performing." She pointed the cigarette accusingly at Lorelai, who had to lean back a little so it wouldn't burn a hole in her new shirt. "We've all been hoping and dreaming for so long now, and the time finally seemed right. But then you two got in that silly fight, and look what's happened…" She shook her head, and took a long drag, then sighed, exhaling the smoke. "Up in smoke, my dear. It's all going up in smoke."
With that she walked away.
Lorelai stared after her, still reeling over the line about hydrants. She looked around for Luke; maybe she could beg her way into getting a cup of coffee. That would help her recover. When she couldn't find him near her, she got up on one of the chairs and looked around.
Of course. He was talking to Jay, near the front of the room. And he had been in the back before, which meant he had walked over to her. Lorelai got off the chair and made a quick exit. She had coffee at home. She didn't need his damn coffee to satisfy her needs.
* * *
A/N: I just don't see Luke being a fast acting guy. So be patient…the good stuff is coming around the bend.