South Park Wasteland Series.
Episode 103.--Raiders.
Desert.
It's night, Ashley, Matt, and Stan have set up camp. The three are sitting around a fire, there is a single, tent made out of OD green canvas is about ten feet from the fire. Plane wreckage can be seen silhouetted in the background atop a hill, the moon and stars are out, and it's decently cool out.
Zoom in on fire.
Ashley:You okay Matt?
Matt:Well, I can now say that I've been raped by a nymphomaniacal tour guide.
Ashley:Uh, okay.(pecks Matt on the cheek, holds his hand.Stan is eating food from an Army rations pack.He is at the dessert, which looks like a massive, stiff, crumbly, somewhat shiny tounge. In reality it's a baked cherry dessert. I've had these before on Cadet exercises, the look like tounges, but they taste good.)
Stan:What is this thing?
Ashley:Cherry dessert.Don't want it?I love those.
Stan:Oh.(begins to devouer the dessert.The sound of moterbikes revving in the background alerts the three of them.Ashley and Matt go for their M4's.Stan stuffs the rest of the dessert in his mouth and dives for his shotgun. Pan to hill. Several bikers are silhouetted in the moonlight. The bikers are armed with rifles and shotguns. One of them lets out a war cry and rides down the hill, waving a lever action shotgun over his head as the other bikers follow him in the post-apocalyptic equivilant of a cavalry charge.
Shots are fired.
There are seven bikers.
Ashley stays with Stan and helps fight the bikers head on.
Matt runs off to the side of the bikers and lays prone.
A biker tries to shoot Stan in the head. *BOOM!!!!!!*
The biker's head dissapears in a cloud of pink mist as the bike swerves in the sand and falls on one side.Stan pumps the shotgun and readies it again, looking kind of nervous.
Matt switches the selection on his rifle to single shot.
A second biker goes for Stan, trying to run over him as he works the action on his 870. *CRAK!!!!!!*
The biker cluthces at his now wounded chest and slams into the bike of the first guy to attack Stan.
A biker rips at Ashley's shirt with his hand. *CRAK!!!!!!*
The biker's bloody, disembodied hand falls to the ground lifelessly, as the biker stares in shock at the stump left over, than begins screaming. *BOOM!*
The remaining bikers ride off, their leader rurns towards the kids before going over the hill.
Biker leader:I will have your heads boys!And I will personally see to it that your little girlfriend suffers more than just a gunshot wound to the face!!!(laughs manically as he and his remaining vassels ride off into the night.Matt returns to the group, Ashley hugs him tightly.
Ashley:Good shooting. Dude, we have to get back to the bunker and warn the others about these guys.
Stan:Yeah. I saw the look in that guys face when he tried to take your shirt, I'm scared that they'll end up getting to the bunker, and the others before us.
Matt:Well, we could use these bikes.
15 minutes later.
(Stan, Ashley, and Matt are riding Harley's in the desert.Ashley and Matt have their Beretta's handy if needed.)
Bunker.
It's morning now, Wendy, Kyle, Kenny, Lenni, Dylan, Cartman, Chris, and Lily are sitting at a table in one of the rooms eating a breakfast of bacon, eggs, and frighteningly overburnt toast.
Chris:Sorry about the toast guys.
(Kyle bites into a piece of toast and screams painfully, spitting out the toast, and a small amount of blood.)
Kyle:AAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YO UR TOAST CUT ME!
Chris:Oops.Lemme see that.(picks up the piece of toast and cuts himself on it.) OW!You're right it is sharp.
Wendy:Here, let me get something for that.(Gets up and goes to a first aid kit that's handy. She removes a bottle of iodine coated bandages that stick to wet surfaces, perfect for oral or rectal wounds!)
Wendy:Open your mouth, there!(puts the bandage in, it sticks, and kyle's scream becomes even louder.
Cartman:seriously Chris, ah think I know why Rita never went out with you.
Chris:Why's that?
Cartman:Well look at Kyle and what your toast's done to him!
Chris:Ah, I see your point.
Dylan:So, you're Pip's brother?
Chris:Yeah.Why do you ask?
Dylan:No reason, I didn't know he had any family, that's all.
Chris:When you get to know him he's pretty cool.
Cartman:Dude, Pip couldn't be cool if his life depended on it!
Chris:(Clears throat.)SHADDUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(Sounds like 'WHASSUP!!!')
Cartman:Geez dude, lay off.
Lily:Don't mind him.(Squeezes Cartman like a teddy bear.)
Dylan:Chris, learn to cook, it could save a life someday.(Pan to Kyle, who has screamed most of the oxygen out of his body and is now passed out in his chair.Kenny and Lenni haul him out of the room and go to drop him off at the male dorms.)
Chris:I try!I've been told my pizza's okay.
Lily:Take out doesn't count.
Chris:it wasn't take out. I just stole the recipe from Pizza Pizza, therefore it's not take out, it's imitation take out.
Lili:Point goes to Chris.
Chris: Whoohoo!!!
Later...
(Chris is in the equipment room making something out of mechanical parts. It looks like a double barrelled blowback handgun.Dylan enters.)
Chris: Oh, hey Dylan, wassup?
Dylan:Not much. Kyle's doing okay, the cut inside his cheek is almost scabbed over.
Chris:That's good.
Dylan:The recon party's due back soon.
Chris: Cool. I wonder what shape Stan, Ashley, and Matt are in?
Desert.
{Ashley, Stan, and Matt are sitting in a decently sized OD green canvas tent. The captured bikes lay outside.}
Ashley (Angry, yelling.): Damnit! Why didn't you see the bunker?
Matt (Slightly less angry, voice raised a bit.): It was dark, the bunker is well concealed, and we were going fast. That's why.
Stan: Dude, can't we just backtrack? I mean, that would work, right?
Ashley: Well, okay. Let's go. (They all get up and begin to take down the tent.)
Bunker.
{All of the guys are sleeping in the male dorms. Lenni opens the door with Kenny by her side. She pecks Kenny on the cheek, and then walks to Chris's bed and shakes him awake.}
Lenni: Chris, wake up!
Chris (groggy.): What?
Lenni: Someone's being unthawed, someone that you know.
Chris: Pip?
Lenni: Rita.
(Chris gets a bigass grin on his face.)
Cryo Chambers.
(Chris is sitting on a small folding stool he brought with him. He's sitting in front of a tube holding a girl with spiky red hair. Chris has a towel with him.)
Several hours pass...
(Chris is almost asleep when the tube finally drans of melt water, leaving it's contents lying on the grating, semi-consious.)
Rita(groggy.):Hmm, eh?(sees Chris, realises she's nude and covers herself as
Chris drapes a towel over her.)Thanks.
Chris: Eh, don't mention it.
Rita: Dude, what are you doing here?
Chris: Well, I thought I'd help you out a bit.
Rita: Dude, I can get dressed on my own.
Chris: I mean when it comes to finding your way around here.
Rita: Oh. Thanks.(Smiles at Chris.)
Outside Bunker.
(Several dozen men on motorcycles pull over in front of the bunker and begin to set up barricades. All of the men are armed with sub machineguns, shotguns, and rifles. After about ten minutes the barricades are all up with men behind them.)
Biker Leader: Attack them now! (One of the men throws a crudely made bomb at the door, blowing it wide open.)
Bunker.
(Chris has just finished with Rita, who is now in the Female Dorms. Chris hears the explosion and runs into the hallway from the male dorms. A man with a denim vest and jeans is in the hallway packing a MAC 11. The biker raises his machine pistol, only to be double tapped in the chest by Kenny, who has just left the elevator, brandishing his Colt .45, Lenni's behind him, with her Glock in hand. Chris opens the door to the Female Dorms to see if everyone's alright, Rita jumps Chris from atop a bunk bed armed with a chair, she holds off her attack when she sees who it is.)
Rita: Dude, sorry.
(Gunfire from outside.)
Chris: Gotta go! (Leaves, Glock in hand, Lenni is guarding the entrance, Kenny exits the elevator with an armload of weapons)
Kenny: Here! (Tosses Chris an UZI, Chris hands it off to Rita, who cocks it.)
Outside.
(Stan, Ashley, and Matt are on their motorcycles on the top of a hill, packing their weapons. They ride down the hill.)
--End Fic--
Episode 103.--Raiders.
Desert.
It's night, Ashley, Matt, and Stan have set up camp. The three are sitting around a fire, there is a single, tent made out of OD green canvas is about ten feet from the fire. Plane wreckage can be seen silhouetted in the background atop a hill, the moon and stars are out, and it's decently cool out.
Zoom in on fire.
Ashley:You okay Matt?
Matt:Well, I can now say that I've been raped by a nymphomaniacal tour guide.
Ashley:Uh, okay.(pecks Matt on the cheek, holds his hand.Stan is eating food from an Army rations pack.He is at the dessert, which looks like a massive, stiff, crumbly, somewhat shiny tounge. In reality it's a baked cherry dessert. I've had these before on Cadet exercises, the look like tounges, but they taste good.)
Stan:What is this thing?
Ashley:Cherry dessert.Don't want it?I love those.
Stan:Oh.(begins to devouer the dessert.The sound of moterbikes revving in the background alerts the three of them.Ashley and Matt go for their M4's.Stan stuffs the rest of the dessert in his mouth and dives for his shotgun. Pan to hill. Several bikers are silhouetted in the moonlight. The bikers are armed with rifles and shotguns. One of them lets out a war cry and rides down the hill, waving a lever action shotgun over his head as the other bikers follow him in the post-apocalyptic equivilant of a cavalry charge.
Shots are fired.
There are seven bikers.
Ashley stays with Stan and helps fight the bikers head on.
Matt runs off to the side of the bikers and lays prone.
A biker tries to shoot Stan in the head. *BOOM!!!!!!*
The biker's head dissapears in a cloud of pink mist as the bike swerves in the sand and falls on one side.Stan pumps the shotgun and readies it again, looking kind of nervous.
Matt switches the selection on his rifle to single shot.
A second biker goes for Stan, trying to run over him as he works the action on his 870. *CRAK!!!!!!*
The biker cluthces at his now wounded chest and slams into the bike of the first guy to attack Stan.
A biker rips at Ashley's shirt with his hand. *CRAK!!!!!!*
The biker's bloody, disembodied hand falls to the ground lifelessly, as the biker stares in shock at the stump left over, than begins screaming. *BOOM!*
The remaining bikers ride off, their leader rurns towards the kids before going over the hill.
Biker leader:I will have your heads boys!And I will personally see to it that your little girlfriend suffers more than just a gunshot wound to the face!!!(laughs manically as he and his remaining vassels ride off into the night.Matt returns to the group, Ashley hugs him tightly.
Ashley:Good shooting. Dude, we have to get back to the bunker and warn the others about these guys.
Stan:Yeah. I saw the look in that guys face when he tried to take your shirt, I'm scared that they'll end up getting to the bunker, and the others before us.
Matt:Well, we could use these bikes.
15 minutes later.
(Stan, Ashley, and Matt are riding Harley's in the desert.Ashley and Matt have their Beretta's handy if needed.)
Bunker.
It's morning now, Wendy, Kyle, Kenny, Lenni, Dylan, Cartman, Chris, and Lily are sitting at a table in one of the rooms eating a breakfast of bacon, eggs, and frighteningly overburnt toast.
Chris:Sorry about the toast guys.
(Kyle bites into a piece of toast and screams painfully, spitting out the toast, and a small amount of blood.)
Kyle:AAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YO UR TOAST CUT ME!
Chris:Oops.Lemme see that.(picks up the piece of toast and cuts himself on it.) OW!You're right it is sharp.
Wendy:Here, let me get something for that.(Gets up and goes to a first aid kit that's handy. She removes a bottle of iodine coated bandages that stick to wet surfaces, perfect for oral or rectal wounds!)
Wendy:Open your mouth, there!(puts the bandage in, it sticks, and kyle's scream becomes even louder.
Cartman:seriously Chris, ah think I know why Rita never went out with you.
Chris:Why's that?
Cartman:Well look at Kyle and what your toast's done to him!
Chris:Ah, I see your point.
Dylan:So, you're Pip's brother?
Chris:Yeah.Why do you ask?
Dylan:No reason, I didn't know he had any family, that's all.
Chris:When you get to know him he's pretty cool.
Cartman:Dude, Pip couldn't be cool if his life depended on it!
Chris:(Clears throat.)SHADDUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(Sounds like 'WHASSUP!!!')
Cartman:Geez dude, lay off.
Lily:Don't mind him.(Squeezes Cartman like a teddy bear.)
Dylan:Chris, learn to cook, it could save a life someday.(Pan to Kyle, who has screamed most of the oxygen out of his body and is now passed out in his chair.Kenny and Lenni haul him out of the room and go to drop him off at the male dorms.)
Chris:I try!I've been told my pizza's okay.
Lily:Take out doesn't count.
Chris:it wasn't take out. I just stole the recipe from Pizza Pizza, therefore it's not take out, it's imitation take out.
Lili:Point goes to Chris.
Chris: Whoohoo!!!
Later...
(Chris is in the equipment room making something out of mechanical parts. It looks like a double barrelled blowback handgun.Dylan enters.)
Chris: Oh, hey Dylan, wassup?
Dylan:Not much. Kyle's doing okay, the cut inside his cheek is almost scabbed over.
Chris:That's good.
Dylan:The recon party's due back soon.
Chris: Cool. I wonder what shape Stan, Ashley, and Matt are in?
Desert.
{Ashley, Stan, and Matt are sitting in a decently sized OD green canvas tent. The captured bikes lay outside.}
Ashley (Angry, yelling.): Damnit! Why didn't you see the bunker?
Matt (Slightly less angry, voice raised a bit.): It was dark, the bunker is well concealed, and we were going fast. That's why.
Stan: Dude, can't we just backtrack? I mean, that would work, right?
Ashley: Well, okay. Let's go. (They all get up and begin to take down the tent.)
Bunker.
{All of the guys are sleeping in the male dorms. Lenni opens the door with Kenny by her side. She pecks Kenny on the cheek, and then walks to Chris's bed and shakes him awake.}
Lenni: Chris, wake up!
Chris (groggy.): What?
Lenni: Someone's being unthawed, someone that you know.
Chris: Pip?
Lenni: Rita.
(Chris gets a bigass grin on his face.)
Cryo Chambers.
(Chris is sitting on a small folding stool he brought with him. He's sitting in front of a tube holding a girl with spiky red hair. Chris has a towel with him.)
Several hours pass...
(Chris is almost asleep when the tube finally drans of melt water, leaving it's contents lying on the grating, semi-consious.)
Rita(groggy.):Hmm, eh?(sees Chris, realises she's nude and covers herself as
Chris drapes a towel over her.)Thanks.
Chris: Eh, don't mention it.
Rita: Dude, what are you doing here?
Chris: Well, I thought I'd help you out a bit.
Rita: Dude, I can get dressed on my own.
Chris: I mean when it comes to finding your way around here.
Rita: Oh. Thanks.(Smiles at Chris.)
Outside Bunker.
(Several dozen men on motorcycles pull over in front of the bunker and begin to set up barricades. All of the men are armed with sub machineguns, shotguns, and rifles. After about ten minutes the barricades are all up with men behind them.)
Biker Leader: Attack them now! (One of the men throws a crudely made bomb at the door, blowing it wide open.)
Bunker.
(Chris has just finished with Rita, who is now in the Female Dorms. Chris hears the explosion and runs into the hallway from the male dorms. A man with a denim vest and jeans is in the hallway packing a MAC 11. The biker raises his machine pistol, only to be double tapped in the chest by Kenny, who has just left the elevator, brandishing his Colt .45, Lenni's behind him, with her Glock in hand. Chris opens the door to the Female Dorms to see if everyone's alright, Rita jumps Chris from atop a bunk bed armed with a chair, she holds off her attack when she sees who it is.)
Rita: Dude, sorry.
(Gunfire from outside.)
Chris: Gotta go! (Leaves, Glock in hand, Lenni is guarding the entrance, Kenny exits the elevator with an armload of weapons)
Kenny: Here! (Tosses Chris an UZI, Chris hands it off to Rita, who cocks it.)
Outside.
(Stan, Ashley, and Matt are on their motorcycles on the top of a hill, packing their weapons. They ride down the hill.)
--End Fic--