Come Back to Me
Chapter Four
"We need you to ask your mother about the compoud in Belgium." Kendall completed his statement. Sydney had just stood in front of him, Vaughn and Jack behind her, listening. Sydney did not ask questions. "Okay." She said, her voice lacking any kind of emotion. Vaughn watched her worriedly, not sure why she was upset. Jack exchanged a look of concern with Vaughn as they watched Sydney enter the hallway to Irina's cell. They watched the screen and listened carefully.
"I need to find out how to get in the compound in Belgium."
Irina tilted her head.
Sydney repeated her question, her voice still void of any kind of emotion.
"You're glowing. Even when you're sad about something, you're glowing."
Sydney didn't say anything.
"Why you are sad, I do not know. This should be a happy time for you."
Sydney shifted uncomfortably. "What are you talking about?"
"You're pregnant, are you not, Sydney?"
Sydney looked at her mother.
"The compound in Belgium. I have to leave in an hour. Hurry up and tell me how to get in."
"Not until you answer me. You show all the signs of pregnancy, the glow, the maternal glow, except you are not showing yet. But you are still sad. Why are you sad? Pregnancy is a happy time for a woman. I remember when I found out I was pregnant with you, I thought I was going to float away from happiness. I had a moment of true happiness. Even with your father."
Sydney couldn't say anything. She had tears in her eyes.
"You were happy when you found out, weren't you? Something happened. Who is the father, Sydney?"
Jack and Vaughn were watching the conversation from the main room in the Op tech center. Weiss had joined them, watching the screen. Sydney wasn't denying that she was pregnant. Jack's mouth had kind of fallen open and Vaughn had a look of shock on his face.
"Is it Mr. Vaughn's, Sydney?"
"No."
"I didn't think it was. No one knew about this man, did they?" Irina's brown eyes searched her daughter's face.
Sydney shook her head briefly.
"Why are you sad?"
"He loved me."
"He did."
"He really did. He didn't always know how to say it, but he did. I knew he did. After he slipped up that one day, I knew."
She was smiling a little bit, but a tear fell down her cheek. Irina actually felt her own maternal instincts kick in, wanting to comfort her.
"Who is he, Sydney?"
"He wanted me to be safe. He was so afraid I would be caught. He never said that, either, but I knew he worried."
"As would anyone in his position." Irina had decided to go with it.
"He would have been so happy to have a baby. I didn't get to tell him. He would have loved this baby just as much as he loved me."
"I'm sure he would have."
"He was so stupid. I can take care of myself. But he wanted to protect me. He always wanted to protect me. He stopped thinking about protecting himself."
"He wanted to keep you safe. You said that. Who was that again?"
Sydney looked her mother in the eyes. "Andrew."
"Andrew..."
Irina's eyes widened. "Andrew."
Sydney nodded. Irina knew. Andrew was Sark. She started to put two and two together.
"He's gone."
"Yes."
"But not willingly."
"No. He wanted to keep me safe."
Sydney repeated that several times.
"He's dead."
Sydney started to cry.
"Yes."
"Oh, sweetheart..."
That set her off harder.
"He called me that all the time. He always called me that."
"I'm sorry, Sydney."
"Now I'm alone. I'm always alone, Mommy."
"You're not alone. You're father cares about you, so does Mr. Vaughn. And you have friends, Mr. Tippin, Miss Calfo. They all care for you. I care for you too."
"But none of them as much as he did."
"He was a passionate man. I don't doubt that, Sydney. But he would want you to go on."
Sydney collapsed onto the floor.
"I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't do anything but cry. And when I think I'm done crying, I cry some more."
"Part of that is your mood swings, Sydney."
"Why won't he just come back, Mommy?"
Irina shivered at her calling her mommy. Sydney really was upset.
"He would if he could, Baby, but he can't. He would want you to go on, bring his baby into the world, and love it like he would have."
Sydney nodded when she heard the gates opening. Vaughn and Jack had come running in. Weiss followed them, also worried about Sydney. They had heard almost the entire conversation. She had sounded so odd, so distant, they freaked out. And then they heard her say she was pregnant. But they didn't understand who's it was. Jack looked up at Irina.
"Whose baby is it, Irina?"
"His." Was all Irina would say.
"Irina...dangit, tell me whose it is."
"If she wants you to know, she'll tell you."
Irina turned her back away from the group. Vaughn had knelt in front of Sydney.
"Sydney...it's okay."
Sydney stopped crying. She stood up. "I can't do this. I cannot do this. Tell Devlin or Kendall or whoever you want that I will not be going on this mission. Tell them I'm off active duty. Just leave me alone." She shared a look with her mother and ran away from the building, just wanting to get away from everybody.
Sydney slammed the door to her house and dropped the keys on the table. Will and Francie were sitting worriedly in the living room. "Sydney! Are you okay?!"
Sydney sighed. She had hoped to get away from people when she got home, not face more.
"I'm fine."
"Your dad called."
"He should stay out of it."
"He's worried about you. He didn't tell me anything...he just said you were upset."
"Okay. I was upset."
"Actually, he said you had some sort of break down." Francie supplied.
Sydney sighed and put up her 'I'm great' facade.
"I'm fine. Really."
Will shook his head.
"Why won't you tell us what happened?" Francie prodded.
"Nothing happened. My dad is just fretting for nothing and now he's got you to going as well."
"Sydney..."
"I'm going to take a bubble bath, all right? Just let me be."
She entered the bathroom and started up the tub of water. She sank into it and closed her eyes. All she could see was his blue eyes staring at her with such interest and love, she couldn't stop herself from wailing. Will stood outside the door, listening closely, trying to decipher anything she said. All he could hear was her muttering Andrew.
Another three weeks went by. Sydney hadn't been called up to do any missions for SD-6, which puzzled Sydney. So she confronted Sloane about it.
"Why haven't I been doing anything for the last month?"
"I talked to your father."
"What did he say?"
"That you weren't going to be active for another 9 months."
Sydney cringed.
"He told you I was pregnant."
"Yes. But he was a little shady on the details. I'm sorry you didn't feel you could come to me about this. I am ecstatic to find out another baby Bristow will be running around."
Sydney pursed her lips.
"So, who's the proud papa?"
"No one."
"Now I know that isn't true."
"It doesn't matter, Mr. Sloane. He's not here now."
"Who is he?"
"Doesn't matter." Sydney whispered.
Sloane pulled her into a fatherly hug and that made Sydney want to hurl.
"Thanks."
"I'm here for you if you need me, Sydney. You know I always have been."
"Yes. I know."
"We'll put you on communications or something, if that would make you feel more useful."
"I would like to, until I get closer to term."
"Congratulations, Sydney."
"Thank you." Sydney exited the office quickly, searching for her father, wanting to give him a piece of her mind.
Sydney had finally gotten a hold of him by phone and she asked him to come over. Jack arrived ten minutes later, hoping his daughter was finally ready to talk to him. But after the first thing out of her mouth, he knew this wasn't the conversation he wanted to be in.
"HOW COULD YOU TELL SLOANE I WAS PREGNANT?!"
"You hadn't told him yet. I just wanted you to be safe and the baby."
"IT WASN'T YOUR PLACE TO TELL HIM THAT! I WOULD HAVE TOLD HIM WHEN I WANTED TO. INSTEAD, YOU DECIDED THAT IT WAS UP TO YOU!"
"If you were injured, it would hurt your baby. I didn't want that to happen and I knew you'd been distracted since that conversation with your mother."
Sydney shook her head.
"I JUST CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!"
"Why are you being so secretive about your pregnancy? I mean, why aren't you telling people about it? Why won't you tell us who the father is? Why on earth did you confide in your mother?"
"IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHO THE FATHER IS! AND I'LL TELL PEOPLE WHEN I WANT TO! AND MOM KNEW I WAS PREGNANT JUST BY LOOKING AT ME!"
Sydney heard footsteps behind her and like always, she hoped they were Sark's. But they weren't. Will had entered the house.
"You're pregnant, Sydney?"
"I can take that to mean it isn't Mr. Tippin's, then."
Sydney glared at her father and she turned to Will.
"Yes, I am."
"How far along?"
"Two months."
"Almost through your first trimester."
"Yes."
"Sydney, why didn't you tell Francie and I about this?"
"I didn't want to tell anybody."
"Where's the father?"
"Gone."
"The jerk disappeared on you."
"He's not a jerk." Sydney defended immediately.
"Okay. Sorry. But where is he?"
"Gone."
Sydney was shutting down again. She had started to come back, emotions and everything. She hadn't been crying every two seconds and things seemed, to everyone else, fall back into place.
Will wrapped his arms around Sydney gently.
"Don't worry, Syd. I'll take care of both of you."
"He would have taken care of us if he could." Sydney tried not to scoff at Will's comforting. He couldn't even take care of himself. He had no real job and no money coming in. He couldn't take care of the two of them.
Jack jumped in, "We'll all try to take care of you both."
Sydney looked up. "You want to take care of me?"
"I do, Sydney."
"Then arrange for me to talk with my mother without any cameras, alone."
"I don't think that is wise, Sydney."
"I don't care. I want to talk to her."
"I'll see what I can do."
Jack left Sydney behind with Will.
Chapter Four
"We need you to ask your mother about the compoud in Belgium." Kendall completed his statement. Sydney had just stood in front of him, Vaughn and Jack behind her, listening. Sydney did not ask questions. "Okay." She said, her voice lacking any kind of emotion. Vaughn watched her worriedly, not sure why she was upset. Jack exchanged a look of concern with Vaughn as they watched Sydney enter the hallway to Irina's cell. They watched the screen and listened carefully.
"I need to find out how to get in the compound in Belgium."
Irina tilted her head.
Sydney repeated her question, her voice still void of any kind of emotion.
"You're glowing. Even when you're sad about something, you're glowing."
Sydney didn't say anything.
"Why you are sad, I do not know. This should be a happy time for you."
Sydney shifted uncomfortably. "What are you talking about?"
"You're pregnant, are you not, Sydney?"
Sydney looked at her mother.
"The compound in Belgium. I have to leave in an hour. Hurry up and tell me how to get in."
"Not until you answer me. You show all the signs of pregnancy, the glow, the maternal glow, except you are not showing yet. But you are still sad. Why are you sad? Pregnancy is a happy time for a woman. I remember when I found out I was pregnant with you, I thought I was going to float away from happiness. I had a moment of true happiness. Even with your father."
Sydney couldn't say anything. She had tears in her eyes.
"You were happy when you found out, weren't you? Something happened. Who is the father, Sydney?"
Jack and Vaughn were watching the conversation from the main room in the Op tech center. Weiss had joined them, watching the screen. Sydney wasn't denying that she was pregnant. Jack's mouth had kind of fallen open and Vaughn had a look of shock on his face.
"Is it Mr. Vaughn's, Sydney?"
"No."
"I didn't think it was. No one knew about this man, did they?" Irina's brown eyes searched her daughter's face.
Sydney shook her head briefly.
"Why are you sad?"
"He loved me."
"He did."
"He really did. He didn't always know how to say it, but he did. I knew he did. After he slipped up that one day, I knew."
She was smiling a little bit, but a tear fell down her cheek. Irina actually felt her own maternal instincts kick in, wanting to comfort her.
"Who is he, Sydney?"
"He wanted me to be safe. He was so afraid I would be caught. He never said that, either, but I knew he worried."
"As would anyone in his position." Irina had decided to go with it.
"He would have been so happy to have a baby. I didn't get to tell him. He would have loved this baby just as much as he loved me."
"I'm sure he would have."
"He was so stupid. I can take care of myself. But he wanted to protect me. He always wanted to protect me. He stopped thinking about protecting himself."
"He wanted to keep you safe. You said that. Who was that again?"
Sydney looked her mother in the eyes. "Andrew."
"Andrew..."
Irina's eyes widened. "Andrew."
Sydney nodded. Irina knew. Andrew was Sark. She started to put two and two together.
"He's gone."
"Yes."
"But not willingly."
"No. He wanted to keep me safe."
Sydney repeated that several times.
"He's dead."
Sydney started to cry.
"Yes."
"Oh, sweetheart..."
That set her off harder.
"He called me that all the time. He always called me that."
"I'm sorry, Sydney."
"Now I'm alone. I'm always alone, Mommy."
"You're not alone. You're father cares about you, so does Mr. Vaughn. And you have friends, Mr. Tippin, Miss Calfo. They all care for you. I care for you too."
"But none of them as much as he did."
"He was a passionate man. I don't doubt that, Sydney. But he would want you to go on."
Sydney collapsed onto the floor.
"I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't do anything but cry. And when I think I'm done crying, I cry some more."
"Part of that is your mood swings, Sydney."
"Why won't he just come back, Mommy?"
Irina shivered at her calling her mommy. Sydney really was upset.
"He would if he could, Baby, but he can't. He would want you to go on, bring his baby into the world, and love it like he would have."
Sydney nodded when she heard the gates opening. Vaughn and Jack had come running in. Weiss followed them, also worried about Sydney. They had heard almost the entire conversation. She had sounded so odd, so distant, they freaked out. And then they heard her say she was pregnant. But they didn't understand who's it was. Jack looked up at Irina.
"Whose baby is it, Irina?"
"His." Was all Irina would say.
"Irina...dangit, tell me whose it is."
"If she wants you to know, she'll tell you."
Irina turned her back away from the group. Vaughn had knelt in front of Sydney.
"Sydney...it's okay."
Sydney stopped crying. She stood up. "I can't do this. I cannot do this. Tell Devlin or Kendall or whoever you want that I will not be going on this mission. Tell them I'm off active duty. Just leave me alone." She shared a look with her mother and ran away from the building, just wanting to get away from everybody.
Sydney slammed the door to her house and dropped the keys on the table. Will and Francie were sitting worriedly in the living room. "Sydney! Are you okay?!"
Sydney sighed. She had hoped to get away from people when she got home, not face more.
"I'm fine."
"Your dad called."
"He should stay out of it."
"He's worried about you. He didn't tell me anything...he just said you were upset."
"Okay. I was upset."
"Actually, he said you had some sort of break down." Francie supplied.
Sydney sighed and put up her 'I'm great' facade.
"I'm fine. Really."
Will shook his head.
"Why won't you tell us what happened?" Francie prodded.
"Nothing happened. My dad is just fretting for nothing and now he's got you to going as well."
"Sydney..."
"I'm going to take a bubble bath, all right? Just let me be."
She entered the bathroom and started up the tub of water. She sank into it and closed her eyes. All she could see was his blue eyes staring at her with such interest and love, she couldn't stop herself from wailing. Will stood outside the door, listening closely, trying to decipher anything she said. All he could hear was her muttering Andrew.
Another three weeks went by. Sydney hadn't been called up to do any missions for SD-6, which puzzled Sydney. So she confronted Sloane about it.
"Why haven't I been doing anything for the last month?"
"I talked to your father."
"What did he say?"
"That you weren't going to be active for another 9 months."
Sydney cringed.
"He told you I was pregnant."
"Yes. But he was a little shady on the details. I'm sorry you didn't feel you could come to me about this. I am ecstatic to find out another baby Bristow will be running around."
Sydney pursed her lips.
"So, who's the proud papa?"
"No one."
"Now I know that isn't true."
"It doesn't matter, Mr. Sloane. He's not here now."
"Who is he?"
"Doesn't matter." Sydney whispered.
Sloane pulled her into a fatherly hug and that made Sydney want to hurl.
"Thanks."
"I'm here for you if you need me, Sydney. You know I always have been."
"Yes. I know."
"We'll put you on communications or something, if that would make you feel more useful."
"I would like to, until I get closer to term."
"Congratulations, Sydney."
"Thank you." Sydney exited the office quickly, searching for her father, wanting to give him a piece of her mind.
Sydney had finally gotten a hold of him by phone and she asked him to come over. Jack arrived ten minutes later, hoping his daughter was finally ready to talk to him. But after the first thing out of her mouth, he knew this wasn't the conversation he wanted to be in.
"HOW COULD YOU TELL SLOANE I WAS PREGNANT?!"
"You hadn't told him yet. I just wanted you to be safe and the baby."
"IT WASN'T YOUR PLACE TO TELL HIM THAT! I WOULD HAVE TOLD HIM WHEN I WANTED TO. INSTEAD, YOU DECIDED THAT IT WAS UP TO YOU!"
"If you were injured, it would hurt your baby. I didn't want that to happen and I knew you'd been distracted since that conversation with your mother."
Sydney shook her head.
"I JUST CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!"
"Why are you being so secretive about your pregnancy? I mean, why aren't you telling people about it? Why won't you tell us who the father is? Why on earth did you confide in your mother?"
"IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHO THE FATHER IS! AND I'LL TELL PEOPLE WHEN I WANT TO! AND MOM KNEW I WAS PREGNANT JUST BY LOOKING AT ME!"
Sydney heard footsteps behind her and like always, she hoped they were Sark's. But they weren't. Will had entered the house.
"You're pregnant, Sydney?"
"I can take that to mean it isn't Mr. Tippin's, then."
Sydney glared at her father and she turned to Will.
"Yes, I am."
"How far along?"
"Two months."
"Almost through your first trimester."
"Yes."
"Sydney, why didn't you tell Francie and I about this?"
"I didn't want to tell anybody."
"Where's the father?"
"Gone."
"The jerk disappeared on you."
"He's not a jerk." Sydney defended immediately.
"Okay. Sorry. But where is he?"
"Gone."
Sydney was shutting down again. She had started to come back, emotions and everything. She hadn't been crying every two seconds and things seemed, to everyone else, fall back into place.
Will wrapped his arms around Sydney gently.
"Don't worry, Syd. I'll take care of both of you."
"He would have taken care of us if he could." Sydney tried not to scoff at Will's comforting. He couldn't even take care of himself. He had no real job and no money coming in. He couldn't take care of the two of them.
Jack jumped in, "We'll all try to take care of you both."
Sydney looked up. "You want to take care of me?"
"I do, Sydney."
"Then arrange for me to talk with my mother without any cameras, alone."
"I don't think that is wise, Sydney."
"I don't care. I want to talk to her."
"I'll see what I can do."
Jack left Sydney behind with Will.