Hey guys! Thanks for all your reviews. They're what keep me going. This
story is going to have to end soon but I don't want it too. If you have any
suggestions that might make it longer please tell me! This chapter is a
little sappy but I thought it was kind o sweet. I didn't really put in
anything about Darry but I tried to make him look sweet. Anyway please read
and review! Thanks a lot! Also this chapter is a little short so…just
telling you.
Chapter 5
I lay there in bed thinking of all that had happened that day. Trying to take it all in. It didn't seem real. I didn't seem like it had actually happened. It was like a scene from a Paul Newman movie or something. I kept asking myself why all this had happened to me. If someone had told me a month ago that all that was going to happen to me I wouldn't have believed them. But I had to except the fact that my life wasn't the same as it was a month ago and it never would be. I was so tired from all this thinking. I looked over at the clock on the bedside table. No wonder I was tired. The clock read 2:37. I couldn't believe how late it was. Even if I tried to sleep there was no way that I could. Maybe if I had some milk I'd feel better.
I slowly walked over to the door and slowly opened it. As I did the hinges creaked and I stopped instantly. I waited a couple seconds for a reaction to see if I had woken anyone but nothing happened. I looked across the hall into the room to see Soda covered in all the blankets; Ponyboy huddled up trying to keep warm and Steve dead asleep on the floor. I envied them. They were all sleeping so peacefully. I continued down the hall on the way to the kitchen. It was so quiet in the house. Except for Darrys' snoring. I felt bad for the guy. He was so big sleeping on a couch that was so small. I would've fit fine but he had to scrunch up and didn't look very comfortable. I noticed how different he looked when he was asleep. When I'd seen him earlier he looked so serious and tough, like he didn't know the meaning of carefree, but now he just looked like the innocent kid he was.
I opened the fridge and poured myself some milk. It took me a while to find it since the fridge consisted of Beer, Pepsi and chocolate cake. I finally found it at the back. It tasted a little sour as if they had forgotten it was there but I drank it anyway. When I shut the fridge, Darry tossed a little and I thought he was going to wake up. I didn't want to disturb him so I tiptoed across the living room and went outside to the front porch. The fresh air would do me some good. I looked around for a place to sit. There was an old ratty chair but it looked as though it'd break it I simply touched it so I sat down on the stairs. Looked up at the sky reminded me of my father. It looked beautiful and peaceful being lit up by millions of twinkling stars. I'd always liked the stars for some reason ever since I was a little girl. The fascinated me. I had thought they were little fireflies that couldn't come down. I was thinking about all the different thing I had thought stars were, when the door opened and someone stepped out.
"Hey," he said. "I heard you come out here. Are you alright?"
It was Soda. I could tell from his gentle voice. I felt bad waking him remembering how sound asleep he had been.
"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you." I told him. "But I'm fine. I couldn't sleep and I thought that some fresh air would help."
"That usually helps me." He said smiling as he sat down beside me on the steps. I could see him better now from the street light. Even with his hair all messed up he still looked handsome. "My mom always liked stars. She'd tell me where all the planets were and things. I'd never remember but she seemed to enjoy telling me. The only one I remember it Cassiopeia. See it's right there." He said pointing the group of stars that was shaped like an "M".
"Why do you only remember that one?" I asked.
"Well, that one was he favourite. She liked the story about the conceited queen." He said smiling.
"I've always liked Orion." I told him pointing to the three stars that made up his belt.
"How do you know this stuff?" He asked surprised
"My dad and I used to go up to the hills in the park and stay there all night looking at them, trying to find all the constellations and making up ones of our own. We'd take a tent up there and stay up there all night. We even built our own telescope. My father was always doing things like that." I said looking at my feet.
"Your dad sounds like a real great guy." Soda said.
"Yeah," I said quietly. "He was." I thought I was going to cry
"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked putting his arm around me. He must've notice that I was about to cry.
"It's just, my dad, he used to be such a wonderful person. Then he changed." I had never told anyone except the lawyer what had happened to my father and even then I didn't tell him everything.
"Well, do you want to talk about it?" he asked me.
I didn't really want to talk about it with him. I didn't talk about it with anyone but I looked up in to his sympathetic eyes so full of compassion I knew I could trust him.
"See, my dad and I used to get a long great," I started. "He was my best friend. We did everything together. We were inseparable. You might've said we had a perfect relationship. My mother well, I guess she got jealous or something since I never spent any time with her. She tried to talk to me about girl things like hair and boys but I didn't want to. I'd always go to my dad. Then the fights began. If I did something wrong my dad would always defend me and my mother thought he loved me more then her. Who knows, he might have. Soon, it became too much for my mother and she left. I haven't seen her in four years. At the beginning my dad tried really hard to make up for her being gone since I had loved her and I did miss her. He made up for it really well, but I never thought about him and how much he had missed her. He started to drink and it just got worse. We hardly ever did anything together anymore and I guess it killed him. One night he got really angry with me and began to hit me. I told him that I hated him and ran out of the house. I didn't want to be there with him. I did a lot of thinking that night and realized that maybe I could be more loving and supportive. I went home the next morning and found him lying in my bedroom on the floor. There was blood everywhere. He had a gun in one hand and a picture of him, my mother and me in his other hand. He'd killed himself and it was all my fault. I tried to convince myself that it wasn't my fault it was his fault since he did it but Uncle Jerry was right, I drove him to his death." My voice cracked while I said this since I had began to cry somewhere during my story. I had almost forgotten the Soda was there.
"Don't say that." He told me. "It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't force him to do anything."
I just looked at him. I didn't know what to say.
"My parents were killed when I was young too." He told me. "I thought I would never live again. I kept telling myself if only I had done something. Hell. Pony didn't come out of his room for weeks. It was then that I realized that I had to move on. I had to take care of Pony. It was hard at first but because I did move on doesn't mean that I love them any less. Your situation is different but in the long run, you can't blame yourself for something you had no control over."
What he said made a lot of sense. Soda and I stayed up most of the night talking until I was so tired that he carried me to bed. I felt closer to him then anyone, even Steve. I knew that Soda and I had really connected that night and nothing would ever be the same.
This chapter was kind of short I know but I told you about her past and I wanted that to be the main thing that happened. Anyway! Please review.
Chapter 5
I lay there in bed thinking of all that had happened that day. Trying to take it all in. It didn't seem real. I didn't seem like it had actually happened. It was like a scene from a Paul Newman movie or something. I kept asking myself why all this had happened to me. If someone had told me a month ago that all that was going to happen to me I wouldn't have believed them. But I had to except the fact that my life wasn't the same as it was a month ago and it never would be. I was so tired from all this thinking. I looked over at the clock on the bedside table. No wonder I was tired. The clock read 2:37. I couldn't believe how late it was. Even if I tried to sleep there was no way that I could. Maybe if I had some milk I'd feel better.
I slowly walked over to the door and slowly opened it. As I did the hinges creaked and I stopped instantly. I waited a couple seconds for a reaction to see if I had woken anyone but nothing happened. I looked across the hall into the room to see Soda covered in all the blankets; Ponyboy huddled up trying to keep warm and Steve dead asleep on the floor. I envied them. They were all sleeping so peacefully. I continued down the hall on the way to the kitchen. It was so quiet in the house. Except for Darrys' snoring. I felt bad for the guy. He was so big sleeping on a couch that was so small. I would've fit fine but he had to scrunch up and didn't look very comfortable. I noticed how different he looked when he was asleep. When I'd seen him earlier he looked so serious and tough, like he didn't know the meaning of carefree, but now he just looked like the innocent kid he was.
I opened the fridge and poured myself some milk. It took me a while to find it since the fridge consisted of Beer, Pepsi and chocolate cake. I finally found it at the back. It tasted a little sour as if they had forgotten it was there but I drank it anyway. When I shut the fridge, Darry tossed a little and I thought he was going to wake up. I didn't want to disturb him so I tiptoed across the living room and went outside to the front porch. The fresh air would do me some good. I looked around for a place to sit. There was an old ratty chair but it looked as though it'd break it I simply touched it so I sat down on the stairs. Looked up at the sky reminded me of my father. It looked beautiful and peaceful being lit up by millions of twinkling stars. I'd always liked the stars for some reason ever since I was a little girl. The fascinated me. I had thought they were little fireflies that couldn't come down. I was thinking about all the different thing I had thought stars were, when the door opened and someone stepped out.
"Hey," he said. "I heard you come out here. Are you alright?"
It was Soda. I could tell from his gentle voice. I felt bad waking him remembering how sound asleep he had been.
"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you." I told him. "But I'm fine. I couldn't sleep and I thought that some fresh air would help."
"That usually helps me." He said smiling as he sat down beside me on the steps. I could see him better now from the street light. Even with his hair all messed up he still looked handsome. "My mom always liked stars. She'd tell me where all the planets were and things. I'd never remember but she seemed to enjoy telling me. The only one I remember it Cassiopeia. See it's right there." He said pointing the group of stars that was shaped like an "M".
"Why do you only remember that one?" I asked.
"Well, that one was he favourite. She liked the story about the conceited queen." He said smiling.
"I've always liked Orion." I told him pointing to the three stars that made up his belt.
"How do you know this stuff?" He asked surprised
"My dad and I used to go up to the hills in the park and stay there all night looking at them, trying to find all the constellations and making up ones of our own. We'd take a tent up there and stay up there all night. We even built our own telescope. My father was always doing things like that." I said looking at my feet.
"Your dad sounds like a real great guy." Soda said.
"Yeah," I said quietly. "He was." I thought I was going to cry
"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked putting his arm around me. He must've notice that I was about to cry.
"It's just, my dad, he used to be such a wonderful person. Then he changed." I had never told anyone except the lawyer what had happened to my father and even then I didn't tell him everything.
"Well, do you want to talk about it?" he asked me.
I didn't really want to talk about it with him. I didn't talk about it with anyone but I looked up in to his sympathetic eyes so full of compassion I knew I could trust him.
"See, my dad and I used to get a long great," I started. "He was my best friend. We did everything together. We were inseparable. You might've said we had a perfect relationship. My mother well, I guess she got jealous or something since I never spent any time with her. She tried to talk to me about girl things like hair and boys but I didn't want to. I'd always go to my dad. Then the fights began. If I did something wrong my dad would always defend me and my mother thought he loved me more then her. Who knows, he might have. Soon, it became too much for my mother and she left. I haven't seen her in four years. At the beginning my dad tried really hard to make up for her being gone since I had loved her and I did miss her. He made up for it really well, but I never thought about him and how much he had missed her. He started to drink and it just got worse. We hardly ever did anything together anymore and I guess it killed him. One night he got really angry with me and began to hit me. I told him that I hated him and ran out of the house. I didn't want to be there with him. I did a lot of thinking that night and realized that maybe I could be more loving and supportive. I went home the next morning and found him lying in my bedroom on the floor. There was blood everywhere. He had a gun in one hand and a picture of him, my mother and me in his other hand. He'd killed himself and it was all my fault. I tried to convince myself that it wasn't my fault it was his fault since he did it but Uncle Jerry was right, I drove him to his death." My voice cracked while I said this since I had began to cry somewhere during my story. I had almost forgotten the Soda was there.
"Don't say that." He told me. "It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't force him to do anything."
I just looked at him. I didn't know what to say.
"My parents were killed when I was young too." He told me. "I thought I would never live again. I kept telling myself if only I had done something. Hell. Pony didn't come out of his room for weeks. It was then that I realized that I had to move on. I had to take care of Pony. It was hard at first but because I did move on doesn't mean that I love them any less. Your situation is different but in the long run, you can't blame yourself for something you had no control over."
What he said made a lot of sense. Soda and I stayed up most of the night talking until I was so tired that he carried me to bed. I felt closer to him then anyone, even Steve. I knew that Soda and I had really connected that night and nothing would ever be the same.
This chapter was kind of short I know but I told you about her past and I wanted that to be the main thing that happened. Anyway! Please review.