Hey Everyone! Man, I always say that. It's like my trademark, that and keep Writing in all my reviews. Ok, Ok the chapter the chapter. Well it's pretty sad. Kathryn gets in a little trouble and is pretty bummed by the end. I assure you, you'll hate someone at the end of this chapter. I didn't really capture the mood as well as I had hoped. It's a little rushed and LONG but; it's all good right! Well enjoy! And Please review!!
I stood there in complete shock. If Ponyboy hadn't rushed over reassuringly put his hand on my back, I most likely would've fainted. I was feeling so many emotions at the same and it was rather over whelming. I didn't know whether to feel angry or overjoyed. Resentful or ... I didn't know whether or not to cry or jump into her arms and hug her. All I knew is that I was surprised. I felt betrayed by this women and yet, there was something about her that was holding me back from complete revulsion. Maybe it was the fact that she was my mother, or that she had come all this way to find me. I don't know why but for some reason I couldn't hate her.
I saw her standing there in the doorway. I knew it was her, but I couldn't exactly tell. She looked so different from the wholesome mother I remember. She used to be so naturally beautiful, it was a shame she had hidden it in layers and layers of make-up. Her hair that was once been the colour of mine, and had been always tied in a neat little ponytail, was now the colour of the sun and had so much hairspray in it, it looked like a bird's nest. She had her natural colour showing at the roots and you could easily tell that her hair had been dyed. She wasn't wearing her usual clothes either. She had on tight jeans that were ripped in the knee and a sweatshirt over top. I wonder why she was dressing like this? I don't think she realized how ridiculous she looked.
After standing there for a few minutes on the Curtis' porch, my mother finally spoke.
"Can I come in or not?" She asked.
Her voice was different. It wasn't the same one that had used to sing me lullabies, had once told me not to worry and that everything would be all right, it wasn't the same voice that had once told me how much she loved me. Now it was horse and raspy, like that of a heavy smoker.
"I suppose so." I told her in a monotone voice. I didn't want to let on that I was even remotely happy to see her. I wanted her to know how she had hurt me and it was time for her to feel the pain of guilt that I had felt for the past for years.
"Wow, baby, you look great." She told me grabbing my wrists and pulling them outward to have a better look at me. I knew she was trying to pretend as if nothing had ever happened but it wasn't going to work that way.
"How's Stan?" I asked ignoring the compliment.
"Who's Stan?" she as confused. The way she acted as though she didn't know what I was talking about really mad me upset.
"You know," I said with a scowl, "that optometrist. I do believe you left dad and me for him. Didn't you?"
I instantly regretted it but when I saw that my accusing mark didn't even affect her I was amazed. Could this woman feel nothing?
"Oh him," she started, sitting down on the couch motioning for me to join her. "Well he began to get fatter and loose his firm body so I left him. Then I went on to marry Al, but he had way to many children for my liking. Can you imagine taking care of three little ankle-biters the rest of my life? Not for me. Then there was Trent," as she said this she leaned back and stared up at the ceiling as if to be picturing him affectionately. "now there was a man I was proud to call my own. He was tall, handsome, had a great tan, and young to, very young. But I guess I was just to old for him and he decided to go back too finish his medical degree to become a chief surgeon in a big-time hospital."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. If I didn't know better I wouldn't have even thought that this was my mother. Leaving me because they were fat and had children. Dating people in university. This wasn't my mother. She was so different. Like she under went a personality change.
Then I thought of how she must be feeling. I mean she'd tried the wife thing and all though she was good at it, she hadn't really expected it to be that hard. Maybe she was looking for a change. But was that really an excuse for seeing a collage student.
"Hey honey," she said sweetly, "why don't we go get something to eat."
"I'm not really that hungry." I lied. I was starving. But I didn't want to give her the satisfaction.
"Please Kat," she pleaded, "just give me a chance. It'll give us time to talk and catch up with each other.
As usual, I was reluctant but I didn't see the harm in having a simple meal with the woman. So I eventually agreed. I told Ponyboy that we were leaving and he made sure that I was ok with this. He had been so good through the entire thing. He was always checking in to see if I was all right and even offered to go with us, but I knew that I needed this as much as my mother and it'd be best if we were alone. Pony was always so caring and sweet. He's the kind of kid you can't help but love.
My mother and I went to the diner Mrs. Mathews, Two-Bit's mother, worked at. She was a nice lady and she reminded me of the way my mother used to be. We sat down at a booth and a young waitress with short red hair and freckles came to take our order. My mother ordered a double cheeseburger, which an hour ago would've been surprising but now seemed typical, and a Pepsi where as I ordered a salad and a glass of water. She found her joke implying that I was anorexic hilarious while I just found it harsh. She was being so strange that I couldn't hold it in any longer.
"Mom, what's happened to you?" I said emotionally. She looked up from her plate surprised. "You used to be so smart, so responsible. Now look at you, you have the maturity level of a 15 year old. I don't understand you used to be such a good mother." I couldn't stand to see her like this. Her life thrown away like this. I could feel the sting of tears burning in my eyes.
"Oh sweetheart," she said grabbing my hand across the table, "You've got it all wrong. Oh honey, don't cry." She said sounding again like the mother I knew. "I only acted like this so you'd think I was fun to be with and then maybe you wouldn't be so reluctant to..." she stopped suddenly.
"Reluctant to what?" I asked her.
"Well, see sweetie, when I heard that you had ran out on Jerry and Susie, well I was horrified at the fact that you lived with three strangers you didn't even know. That's why I came down here Katty. I thought maybe that we could move back in together. Be a family again."
I thought about it for a while. It didn't seem like that bad of an idea. She said herself that she doesn't actually act the way she had when she first saw her and she seemed to be the same mom she had been four years ago. But how did she know she was going to stay this time.
"How do I know that you're not going to leave again?" I asked her.
"Honey, do you really think I would come all the way down here just to leave you again?" she said lovingly.
She had a point. I looked up at her. All of her eye make-up was streaming down the side of her face, but underneath all that I saw the real her. I could tell by her eyes. They he were so full of love and affection. Then I noticed something I never did before. Her eyes. My eyes. They were the same. I had my mother's compassionate, icy blue eyes. Eyes that reveal what a person is feeling even if they don't express it. I knew she loved me and wouldn't ever hurt me again.
"Ok mom," I told her happily, "we can buy a house together and become a family again."
The expression on her face changed when I said this.
"Well, you see sweetie, I didn't think that it'd be so soon. I still have to get another job and make some money before I do anything." She told me.
Money. I thought about it. Money wasn't a problem.
"I have money." I shouted in spite of myself. It was so loud that at least nine people in the diner turned around and gave me strange looks. "I have lots of money." I said much quieter the second time.
My mother laughed a little before saying, "I don't think it's enough for a house darling."
"Oh but it is," I told her, "It's all the money Dad had saved up for my collage tuition and the summer beach house we were going to buy."
I saw my mothers face light up, although I could tell that she was trying to hide it.
"No," she said finally, "I couldn't do that."
"Mom, I'll be living there to, I have to pay my share." I reassured her.
After much consideration, she accepted. I gave her the cheque the lawyer had given me and made it so it was possible for my mother to cash it. She told me that she had to go look for a job for the rest of the day and then go back to the hotel she was staying at to pack her things. She told me that she'd pick me up at the Curtis' to go look for houses and the first one we liked we'd buy. With that she left the diner.
"Looks like you'll be starting a new life there kiddo." Mrs. Mathews said to me.
"Looks like I will," I told her smiling, "Looks like I will."
I paid the bill and walked across the street to the DX. Steve and Soda were working and I just had to tell someone.
"Hey Kat," Steve said, "what are you doing here?"
"You'll never guess who came to the house." I told them enthusiastically.
Soda laughed a little and flashed his famous smile before saying, "Who Kat?"
"My mom." I exclaimed. As I said this Soda's smile faded and Steve's excitement seemed to have vanished.
"What is wrong with you two?" I said a little irritated. "Didn't you hear me, my mom, my mom is here."
"Well," Steve said finally, "What does she want?"
"She wants us to buy a house together and become a family again." I told them. "Isn't that fantastic?"
"Wait, she wants you to leave," Soda said quietly. "Yeah, real terrific."
"Soda, it's not like that." I explained, taking his hands in mine, "I'm not leaving Oklahoma. I'm just moving away."
"Are you sure you can trust her?" he asked, "I mean she did already leave once."
I was a little surprised that he would just come out and say that but I think he was afraid that I was going to leave him like Sandy did, so I understood.
"I know I can trust her Soda." I told him softly, "I can tell that she misses me."
"Ok, but be sure to live close by ok." He said smiling at me.
"Of course I will." I said pulling him into a hug. "I could never be to far away from you." He kissed my head and then I pulled away. Just as I was about to leave, I noticed Steve with an angry expression on his face.
"Don't worry, Steve." I said, "I'll be fine."
"What?" he said in a confused voice, "Oh, yeah, right. I know Katty, I know."
I went to bed that night dreaming of the life ahead of me. I kept picturing a white little house, with a huge backyard. We'd have a picnic table that would sit on perfect green grass. We'd plant a beautiful garden to enjoy for the duration of the summer and everyday, Mom and I would take care of it together. When we were through, we'd have cake and chocolate milk on the porch and just talk about what a great day we had. Maybe we'd even get a dog and take it for walks on the beach and have a picnic in the sand. As long as I was dreaming, I made sure Soda was there. He and mom got along perfectly and they decided that they'd get married in the fall. Steve had gone back to high school and gone to collage and earned himself a respectable job and everyone was as happy as they'd ever been. I woke up the next morning feeling completely optimistic and ready to start a new improved life, which included my mother. But reality is always worse then the dream; in this case, much worse.
I had taken a shower, blow-dried my hair and put it up in the nicest way possible. I put on a tan skirt and a nice blue sleeveless shirt. I wanted to look my best for today. I knew from the moment I woke up that it'd be one to remember. I ate a good breakfast consisting of eggs, dry toast and orange juice that was a little warm but I wasn't going to complain. I brushed my teeth and checked the time. 12:07 it read. I had to hurry; she was going to be here any minute.
I sat on the porch and waited. I would stand up and look down the road every time I heard a car coming. But every time I did, the car would just zip on past. I waited out there for what seemed like forever when Pony came out.
"Hey, I thought you'd be long gone by now." He said smiling.
"Oh she's just running a little late. It's probably traffic or something." I told him. I couldn't believe I had said that. I was making excuses for her. But who knows it was still early. She'd just have to explain herself that's all.
"Well, It's 2:30. Are you sure you want to wait out here all by yourself? I can stay you know." He offered
"No thanks Pony. I'll be fine. Thanks anyway." I told him. See what I mean about Pony, can't help but love him.
"Ok Kat, I'll see you later. Tell me how it goes with your mom ok." He said running down the steps to meet Two-Bit.
"Ok," I said quietly, although I knew he couldn't have heard me. "I will."
I waited another four hours on the porch. Slowly getting more and more aggravated. More and more frustrated. More and more wanting to kick myself for trusting her and giving her everything I had. She wasn't coming. It was all an act and I had fallen for it. What kind of person takes money from their sixteen-year-old daughter that was given to her by her dead father. All I wanted right now was to be with Soda. Soda always understood. He was the only person could truly trust. Maybe Steve, but I'd soon be mistaken about him.
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I stood there in complete shock. If Ponyboy hadn't rushed over reassuringly put his hand on my back, I most likely would've fainted. I was feeling so many emotions at the same and it was rather over whelming. I didn't know whether to feel angry or overjoyed. Resentful or ... I didn't know whether or not to cry or jump into her arms and hug her. All I knew is that I was surprised. I felt betrayed by this women and yet, there was something about her that was holding me back from complete revulsion. Maybe it was the fact that she was my mother, or that she had come all this way to find me. I don't know why but for some reason I couldn't hate her.
I saw her standing there in the doorway. I knew it was her, but I couldn't exactly tell. She looked so different from the wholesome mother I remember. She used to be so naturally beautiful, it was a shame she had hidden it in layers and layers of make-up. Her hair that was once been the colour of mine, and had been always tied in a neat little ponytail, was now the colour of the sun and had so much hairspray in it, it looked like a bird's nest. She had her natural colour showing at the roots and you could easily tell that her hair had been dyed. She wasn't wearing her usual clothes either. She had on tight jeans that were ripped in the knee and a sweatshirt over top. I wonder why she was dressing like this? I don't think she realized how ridiculous she looked.
After standing there for a few minutes on the Curtis' porch, my mother finally spoke.
"Can I come in or not?" She asked.
Her voice was different. It wasn't the same one that had used to sing me lullabies, had once told me not to worry and that everything would be all right, it wasn't the same voice that had once told me how much she loved me. Now it was horse and raspy, like that of a heavy smoker.
"I suppose so." I told her in a monotone voice. I didn't want to let on that I was even remotely happy to see her. I wanted her to know how she had hurt me and it was time for her to feel the pain of guilt that I had felt for the past for years.
"Wow, baby, you look great." She told me grabbing my wrists and pulling them outward to have a better look at me. I knew she was trying to pretend as if nothing had ever happened but it wasn't going to work that way.
"How's Stan?" I asked ignoring the compliment.
"Who's Stan?" she as confused. The way she acted as though she didn't know what I was talking about really mad me upset.
"You know," I said with a scowl, "that optometrist. I do believe you left dad and me for him. Didn't you?"
I instantly regretted it but when I saw that my accusing mark didn't even affect her I was amazed. Could this woman feel nothing?
"Oh him," she started, sitting down on the couch motioning for me to join her. "Well he began to get fatter and loose his firm body so I left him. Then I went on to marry Al, but he had way to many children for my liking. Can you imagine taking care of three little ankle-biters the rest of my life? Not for me. Then there was Trent," as she said this she leaned back and stared up at the ceiling as if to be picturing him affectionately. "now there was a man I was proud to call my own. He was tall, handsome, had a great tan, and young to, very young. But I guess I was just to old for him and he decided to go back too finish his medical degree to become a chief surgeon in a big-time hospital."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. If I didn't know better I wouldn't have even thought that this was my mother. Leaving me because they were fat and had children. Dating people in university. This wasn't my mother. She was so different. Like she under went a personality change.
Then I thought of how she must be feeling. I mean she'd tried the wife thing and all though she was good at it, she hadn't really expected it to be that hard. Maybe she was looking for a change. But was that really an excuse for seeing a collage student.
"Hey honey," she said sweetly, "why don't we go get something to eat."
"I'm not really that hungry." I lied. I was starving. But I didn't want to give her the satisfaction.
"Please Kat," she pleaded, "just give me a chance. It'll give us time to talk and catch up with each other.
As usual, I was reluctant but I didn't see the harm in having a simple meal with the woman. So I eventually agreed. I told Ponyboy that we were leaving and he made sure that I was ok with this. He had been so good through the entire thing. He was always checking in to see if I was all right and even offered to go with us, but I knew that I needed this as much as my mother and it'd be best if we were alone. Pony was always so caring and sweet. He's the kind of kid you can't help but love.
My mother and I went to the diner Mrs. Mathews, Two-Bit's mother, worked at. She was a nice lady and she reminded me of the way my mother used to be. We sat down at a booth and a young waitress with short red hair and freckles came to take our order. My mother ordered a double cheeseburger, which an hour ago would've been surprising but now seemed typical, and a Pepsi where as I ordered a salad and a glass of water. She found her joke implying that I was anorexic hilarious while I just found it harsh. She was being so strange that I couldn't hold it in any longer.
"Mom, what's happened to you?" I said emotionally. She looked up from her plate surprised. "You used to be so smart, so responsible. Now look at you, you have the maturity level of a 15 year old. I don't understand you used to be such a good mother." I couldn't stand to see her like this. Her life thrown away like this. I could feel the sting of tears burning in my eyes.
"Oh sweetheart," she said grabbing my hand across the table, "You've got it all wrong. Oh honey, don't cry." She said sounding again like the mother I knew. "I only acted like this so you'd think I was fun to be with and then maybe you wouldn't be so reluctant to..." she stopped suddenly.
"Reluctant to what?" I asked her.
"Well, see sweetie, when I heard that you had ran out on Jerry and Susie, well I was horrified at the fact that you lived with three strangers you didn't even know. That's why I came down here Katty. I thought maybe that we could move back in together. Be a family again."
I thought about it for a while. It didn't seem like that bad of an idea. She said herself that she doesn't actually act the way she had when she first saw her and she seemed to be the same mom she had been four years ago. But how did she know she was going to stay this time.
"How do I know that you're not going to leave again?" I asked her.
"Honey, do you really think I would come all the way down here just to leave you again?" she said lovingly.
She had a point. I looked up at her. All of her eye make-up was streaming down the side of her face, but underneath all that I saw the real her. I could tell by her eyes. They he were so full of love and affection. Then I noticed something I never did before. Her eyes. My eyes. They were the same. I had my mother's compassionate, icy blue eyes. Eyes that reveal what a person is feeling even if they don't express it. I knew she loved me and wouldn't ever hurt me again.
"Ok mom," I told her happily, "we can buy a house together and become a family again."
The expression on her face changed when I said this.
"Well, you see sweetie, I didn't think that it'd be so soon. I still have to get another job and make some money before I do anything." She told me.
Money. I thought about it. Money wasn't a problem.
"I have money." I shouted in spite of myself. It was so loud that at least nine people in the diner turned around and gave me strange looks. "I have lots of money." I said much quieter the second time.
My mother laughed a little before saying, "I don't think it's enough for a house darling."
"Oh but it is," I told her, "It's all the money Dad had saved up for my collage tuition and the summer beach house we were going to buy."
I saw my mothers face light up, although I could tell that she was trying to hide it.
"No," she said finally, "I couldn't do that."
"Mom, I'll be living there to, I have to pay my share." I reassured her.
After much consideration, she accepted. I gave her the cheque the lawyer had given me and made it so it was possible for my mother to cash it. She told me that she had to go look for a job for the rest of the day and then go back to the hotel she was staying at to pack her things. She told me that she'd pick me up at the Curtis' to go look for houses and the first one we liked we'd buy. With that she left the diner.
"Looks like you'll be starting a new life there kiddo." Mrs. Mathews said to me.
"Looks like I will," I told her smiling, "Looks like I will."
I paid the bill and walked across the street to the DX. Steve and Soda were working and I just had to tell someone.
"Hey Kat," Steve said, "what are you doing here?"
"You'll never guess who came to the house." I told them enthusiastically.
Soda laughed a little and flashed his famous smile before saying, "Who Kat?"
"My mom." I exclaimed. As I said this Soda's smile faded and Steve's excitement seemed to have vanished.
"What is wrong with you two?" I said a little irritated. "Didn't you hear me, my mom, my mom is here."
"Well," Steve said finally, "What does she want?"
"She wants us to buy a house together and become a family again." I told them. "Isn't that fantastic?"
"Wait, she wants you to leave," Soda said quietly. "Yeah, real terrific."
"Soda, it's not like that." I explained, taking his hands in mine, "I'm not leaving Oklahoma. I'm just moving away."
"Are you sure you can trust her?" he asked, "I mean she did already leave once."
I was a little surprised that he would just come out and say that but I think he was afraid that I was going to leave him like Sandy did, so I understood.
"I know I can trust her Soda." I told him softly, "I can tell that she misses me."
"Ok, but be sure to live close by ok." He said smiling at me.
"Of course I will." I said pulling him into a hug. "I could never be to far away from you." He kissed my head and then I pulled away. Just as I was about to leave, I noticed Steve with an angry expression on his face.
"Don't worry, Steve." I said, "I'll be fine."
"What?" he said in a confused voice, "Oh, yeah, right. I know Katty, I know."
I went to bed that night dreaming of the life ahead of me. I kept picturing a white little house, with a huge backyard. We'd have a picnic table that would sit on perfect green grass. We'd plant a beautiful garden to enjoy for the duration of the summer and everyday, Mom and I would take care of it together. When we were through, we'd have cake and chocolate milk on the porch and just talk about what a great day we had. Maybe we'd even get a dog and take it for walks on the beach and have a picnic in the sand. As long as I was dreaming, I made sure Soda was there. He and mom got along perfectly and they decided that they'd get married in the fall. Steve had gone back to high school and gone to collage and earned himself a respectable job and everyone was as happy as they'd ever been. I woke up the next morning feeling completely optimistic and ready to start a new improved life, which included my mother. But reality is always worse then the dream; in this case, much worse.
I had taken a shower, blow-dried my hair and put it up in the nicest way possible. I put on a tan skirt and a nice blue sleeveless shirt. I wanted to look my best for today. I knew from the moment I woke up that it'd be one to remember. I ate a good breakfast consisting of eggs, dry toast and orange juice that was a little warm but I wasn't going to complain. I brushed my teeth and checked the time. 12:07 it read. I had to hurry; she was going to be here any minute.
I sat on the porch and waited. I would stand up and look down the road every time I heard a car coming. But every time I did, the car would just zip on past. I waited out there for what seemed like forever when Pony came out.
"Hey, I thought you'd be long gone by now." He said smiling.
"Oh she's just running a little late. It's probably traffic or something." I told him. I couldn't believe I had said that. I was making excuses for her. But who knows it was still early. She'd just have to explain herself that's all.
"Well, It's 2:30. Are you sure you want to wait out here all by yourself? I can stay you know." He offered
"No thanks Pony. I'll be fine. Thanks anyway." I told him. See what I mean about Pony, can't help but love him.
"Ok Kat, I'll see you later. Tell me how it goes with your mom ok." He said running down the steps to meet Two-Bit.
"Ok," I said quietly, although I knew he couldn't have heard me. "I will."
I waited another four hours on the porch. Slowly getting more and more aggravated. More and more frustrated. More and more wanting to kick myself for trusting her and giving her everything I had. She wasn't coming. It was all an act and I had fallen for it. What kind of person takes money from their sixteen-year-old daughter that was given to her by her dead father. All I wanted right now was to be with Soda. Soda always understood. He was the only person could truly trust. Maybe Steve, but I'd soon be mistaken about him.
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