Chapter 6: Enter The Pop Rocks and Albus Dumbledore
"So," Ron was sitting in the former cottage of Hagrid, which had been transformed into a lovely country cottage with major makeover studio in back. In less than six hours. Yeah. Well, ANYWAY, he was surrounded by Spiderman, who was perched on a web swing hanging from one of the new rosebud-shaped sconces tastefully lining the wall; Belwyn, who was having cold cream applied to her paperwhite face; Legolas, who was trying to avoid the odd stare of the girl he was making over (when she went to wash her hands, he slapped a little cold cream on himself when he thought no one was looking); Harry, who was sulking in the corner by himself; Hermione, who was the only one listening intently to Ron; and Candy, who was leaning casually against the wall, smoking a quick joint before her next rehab class. She really was going to benefit from those, since Lavender had pressured her into going. Flame was out in back, cleaning out her flamethrower, since she had apparently already heard Ron's spiel. He cleared his throat and began again. "You're probably wondering why you're here, uh, we really don't know......" Legolas groaned loudly. "Ahem. But we aim to make your stay as comfy as possible. It must have something to do with the fangirls.you all know that by now. You should. Another groan from Legolas, who was now working on the huge circles under Belwyn's eyes (Belwyn was still staring rapturously, and every once in awhile she would whip out some hand sanitizer and scrub fervently). Hermione came to the rescue once again: "Here, Legolas, eat this." She opened a small, flat packet and poured some strange, coarse pink gravel- like stuff into Legolas's outstretched hand. "What's that?" asked Ron. "Pop Rocks. Muggle sweet. Results are rather amusing." Legolas let out the expected girly shriek and ran maniacally outside, spitting and jumping like a hyperactive monkey. "Thanks. Now, if we can continue..... I think that each of you needs to tell us your complete story, all of it, so that we know what's going on." Surprisingly, Candy spoke up. "What makes you think we wanna put a kid like you in charge?" Nobody spoke, though everyone sent sidelong glances toward Candy, pretending not to be as astounded as they really were at hearing her utter a coherent sentence. They all assumed that her brain had been fried long ago. Even so, everyone nodded in agreement and looked accusingly at Ron. "I, uh, well-" Hermoine mercifully cut him off. "Well, if you think we're so young and stupid, why don't you go see the Headmaster?" Belwyn, who had previously been ignoring the conversation and waiting for her makeup artist to come back in and give her a massage (maybe then she's be able to get a little bite) drawled, "Heh. Yeah, I wonder why no one thought of that before? He's a magic guy, right?" "Yes," said Hermione huffily, "The best magic guy, ever." Their little meeting was interrupted by a mighty whoosh of flame, shooting up from behind the house. "Flame..." Ron murmured. He pushed back the pink rose- printed curtains and saw her flame- broiling the largest snake he had ever seen. It was at least twelve feet long, bright poison green, thick as a bedpost, and on fire, of course. Flame, glancing back towards the window to see them all watching, shouted happily, "I GOT that sucker, didn't I?" And she had. The snake, permanently singed, had slithered off into the woods, admitting defeat. Harry spoke up sullenly from the corner where he still sat, "I could have asked it why it was here." "Yeah, yeah, we know." Candy again. She had discarded her smoke and was now heading for the door, ready to go to her rehab class. "See y'all later!"
Half an hour later, they had left the cottage and were on their way to Albus Dumbledore's office. They met up with Legolas who was trying unsuccessfully to eat in the Great Hall, as a dozen young witches had found him and were hanging all over him. "Come on, we're going to see Dumbledore, the headmaster." Ron was obviously not aware of how tight they could hold on. "Okay," said Legolas, as the girls stroked and petted him, showing no signs of ceasing their lovely activity. One of them licked his cheek, and he grimaced. "Uh, girls, I have to go..." Several of them began to weep vehemently. "I'll, uh, I'll be back..." They perked up at this, but none of them really let go, for they were latched onto him so tightly that prying them off would be an impossible task. "Help," he mouthed to Ron. "No, let me," offered Flame, pushing Ron aside and flipping the safety catch on her flamethrower. "Move it, girlies, or you're toast!" She sent a dramatic tongue of flame up to the ceiling, sending the fangirls screaming. "Damn males. Always got to have a woman around to get them out of their pathetic little ordeals." They proceeded.
"Candy cane! Chocolate frog! Jelly bean!" Harry couldn't remember the password, as usual. "Cockroach cluster?" That one had worked last time, but now the door stayed firmly shut. "COME ON YOU &*(^%^% PILE OF &*%$ !!!!!!!!!! The door opened.
"Mr. Headmaster?" Harry inquired softly, as he appeared to be asleep. Dumbledore's head jerked up. "Oh, Harry! Nice to see you! Pop Rock?" Harry shook his head. "No thanks, I have an important question. Or rather, Ron has an important question. I'm just helping. Although I don't know why...." He pouted, and Ron ushered all the new arrivals in. Pandemonium. Hermione began to back towards the door, afraid that Dumbledore would know who killed McGonagall. Spiderman scooped up handfuls out of the bowl of pop rocks and strutted around, picking up the stuff on the shelves as he crunched. Belwyn stood, looking blasé, in a corner with her bottle of hand sanitizer. Legolas took one look at Dumbledore and shrieked. "AIEEEEEEE!!! GET AWAY FROM THIS MAN!!! HE IS THE DARK LORD!! OR *A* DARK LORD!!! " He nocked an arrow and prepared to shoot Dumbledore at point- blank. Harry squeaked and dove in front of the headmaster, and Hermione rushed back in to explain that Dumbledore was not the Dark Lord. She quickly blurted out some explanation that not all men with beards were evil. Hermione sighed. The last thing she needed was another murder on her hands. And for Count Dooku to show up. THAT was the last thing she needed.
"So," Ron was sitting in the former cottage of Hagrid, which had been transformed into a lovely country cottage with major makeover studio in back. In less than six hours. Yeah. Well, ANYWAY, he was surrounded by Spiderman, who was perched on a web swing hanging from one of the new rosebud-shaped sconces tastefully lining the wall; Belwyn, who was having cold cream applied to her paperwhite face; Legolas, who was trying to avoid the odd stare of the girl he was making over (when she went to wash her hands, he slapped a little cold cream on himself when he thought no one was looking); Harry, who was sulking in the corner by himself; Hermione, who was the only one listening intently to Ron; and Candy, who was leaning casually against the wall, smoking a quick joint before her next rehab class. She really was going to benefit from those, since Lavender had pressured her into going. Flame was out in back, cleaning out her flamethrower, since she had apparently already heard Ron's spiel. He cleared his throat and began again. "You're probably wondering why you're here, uh, we really don't know......" Legolas groaned loudly. "Ahem. But we aim to make your stay as comfy as possible. It must have something to do with the fangirls.you all know that by now. You should. Another groan from Legolas, who was now working on the huge circles under Belwyn's eyes (Belwyn was still staring rapturously, and every once in awhile she would whip out some hand sanitizer and scrub fervently). Hermione came to the rescue once again: "Here, Legolas, eat this." She opened a small, flat packet and poured some strange, coarse pink gravel- like stuff into Legolas's outstretched hand. "What's that?" asked Ron. "Pop Rocks. Muggle sweet. Results are rather amusing." Legolas let out the expected girly shriek and ran maniacally outside, spitting and jumping like a hyperactive monkey. "Thanks. Now, if we can continue..... I think that each of you needs to tell us your complete story, all of it, so that we know what's going on." Surprisingly, Candy spoke up. "What makes you think we wanna put a kid like you in charge?" Nobody spoke, though everyone sent sidelong glances toward Candy, pretending not to be as astounded as they really were at hearing her utter a coherent sentence. They all assumed that her brain had been fried long ago. Even so, everyone nodded in agreement and looked accusingly at Ron. "I, uh, well-" Hermoine mercifully cut him off. "Well, if you think we're so young and stupid, why don't you go see the Headmaster?" Belwyn, who had previously been ignoring the conversation and waiting for her makeup artist to come back in and give her a massage (maybe then she's be able to get a little bite) drawled, "Heh. Yeah, I wonder why no one thought of that before? He's a magic guy, right?" "Yes," said Hermione huffily, "The best magic guy, ever." Their little meeting was interrupted by a mighty whoosh of flame, shooting up from behind the house. "Flame..." Ron murmured. He pushed back the pink rose- printed curtains and saw her flame- broiling the largest snake he had ever seen. It was at least twelve feet long, bright poison green, thick as a bedpost, and on fire, of course. Flame, glancing back towards the window to see them all watching, shouted happily, "I GOT that sucker, didn't I?" And she had. The snake, permanently singed, had slithered off into the woods, admitting defeat. Harry spoke up sullenly from the corner where he still sat, "I could have asked it why it was here." "Yeah, yeah, we know." Candy again. She had discarded her smoke and was now heading for the door, ready to go to her rehab class. "See y'all later!"
Half an hour later, they had left the cottage and were on their way to Albus Dumbledore's office. They met up with Legolas who was trying unsuccessfully to eat in the Great Hall, as a dozen young witches had found him and were hanging all over him. "Come on, we're going to see Dumbledore, the headmaster." Ron was obviously not aware of how tight they could hold on. "Okay," said Legolas, as the girls stroked and petted him, showing no signs of ceasing their lovely activity. One of them licked his cheek, and he grimaced. "Uh, girls, I have to go..." Several of them began to weep vehemently. "I'll, uh, I'll be back..." They perked up at this, but none of them really let go, for they were latched onto him so tightly that prying them off would be an impossible task. "Help," he mouthed to Ron. "No, let me," offered Flame, pushing Ron aside and flipping the safety catch on her flamethrower. "Move it, girlies, or you're toast!" She sent a dramatic tongue of flame up to the ceiling, sending the fangirls screaming. "Damn males. Always got to have a woman around to get them out of their pathetic little ordeals." They proceeded.
"Candy cane! Chocolate frog! Jelly bean!" Harry couldn't remember the password, as usual. "Cockroach cluster?" That one had worked last time, but now the door stayed firmly shut. "COME ON YOU &*(^%^% PILE OF &*%$ !!!!!!!!!! The door opened.
"Mr. Headmaster?" Harry inquired softly, as he appeared to be asleep. Dumbledore's head jerked up. "Oh, Harry! Nice to see you! Pop Rock?" Harry shook his head. "No thanks, I have an important question. Or rather, Ron has an important question. I'm just helping. Although I don't know why...." He pouted, and Ron ushered all the new arrivals in. Pandemonium. Hermione began to back towards the door, afraid that Dumbledore would know who killed McGonagall. Spiderman scooped up handfuls out of the bowl of pop rocks and strutted around, picking up the stuff on the shelves as he crunched. Belwyn stood, looking blasé, in a corner with her bottle of hand sanitizer. Legolas took one look at Dumbledore and shrieked. "AIEEEEEEE!!! GET AWAY FROM THIS MAN!!! HE IS THE DARK LORD!! OR *A* DARK LORD!!! " He nocked an arrow and prepared to shoot Dumbledore at point- blank. Harry squeaked and dove in front of the headmaster, and Hermione rushed back in to explain that Dumbledore was not the Dark Lord. She quickly blurted out some explanation that not all men with beards were evil. Hermione sighed. The last thing she needed was another murder on her hands. And for Count Dooku to show up. THAT was the last thing she needed.