PALADIN'S QUEST: THE ABRIDGED SCRIPT

By Jack Bullions

EXT. LENNUS

The world is in CHAOS.

 GENERIC FANTASY KINGDOM A
 We are from the North. We hate the 
 South.

 GENERIC FANTASY KINGDOM B
 We are from the South, and we hate the 
 North.

 GENERIC FANTASY KINGDOM A
 Perhaps we should go to war and magnify 
 the stupidity of the game hero and his 
 upcoming ludicrous quest?

INT. MAGIC SCHOOL

DUKE and CHEZNI learn magic. They meet up later after class.

 DUKE
 There is a conveniently placed Tower 
 nearby that obviously doesn't house 
 something big and evil. I triple dog 
 dare you to go climb it with me.

 CHEZNI
 Sure. Let's be morons and fiddle with 
 things man was not meant to know.

They climb the TOWER and release EVIL. Everyone DIES.

 CHEZNI
 FUCK!

 GAME OVER.