Disclaimer: We don't claim to own HDM, or anything related to it. I'm sure
Pullman wouldn't mind if we innocently make fun of his brilliant work. ^_^
A/N: This isn't supposed to make any sense, so don't expect it to!
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Passion on the Icy Mountain
(Lord Asinine and Mrs. Cutter stood the mountain on which Roja had been severed and slain.)
Lord Asinine: Come with me! Come and DustBust with me!
Mrs. Cutter: No, I could never work with you! And besides, I'm allergic to Dust.
Lord Asinine: No? You can come with me! Evil people and demigods can always work together. We could find the source of the Dust and sweep it away forever. Lie about everything else: lie about all the other love children you have, lie about your age-yes, I know you're really forty-two, and I care nothing, lie about your weight, lie about your implants, even, but don't lie about the amount of dye in your hair..
(Their mouths fasten together like two Hoover Vacuum cleaners. Lord Asinine tries to run his hands through her hair, only to get stuck because of the amount of mousse.)
Mrs. Cutter: (breaks away, panting) If I don't come, you'll try and delete me.
Lord Asinine: Delete? Why would I want to delete you if I can trash your image on the Internet with my digital camera?
Mrs. Cutter: Asinine, that's sweet, but I couldn't possibly.
Lord Asinine: (walks away, singing) Somewheeeeeere over the Auroraaaa.
Mrs. Cutter: (sobs and hiccups loudly) Oh, I mustn't cry, my mascara isn't waterproof.
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Sorry; it's really abrupt. We've got a baaaaaaaad case of writer's block at the moment. Please review, or we'll send mental cliff ghasts at you. Bwahahahaha!
A/N: This isn't supposed to make any sense, so don't expect it to!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Passion on the Icy Mountain
(Lord Asinine and Mrs. Cutter stood the mountain on which Roja had been severed and slain.)
Lord Asinine: Come with me! Come and DustBust with me!
Mrs. Cutter: No, I could never work with you! And besides, I'm allergic to Dust.
Lord Asinine: No? You can come with me! Evil people and demigods can always work together. We could find the source of the Dust and sweep it away forever. Lie about everything else: lie about all the other love children you have, lie about your age-yes, I know you're really forty-two, and I care nothing, lie about your weight, lie about your implants, even, but don't lie about the amount of dye in your hair..
(Their mouths fasten together like two Hoover Vacuum cleaners. Lord Asinine tries to run his hands through her hair, only to get stuck because of the amount of mousse.)
Mrs. Cutter: (breaks away, panting) If I don't come, you'll try and delete me.
Lord Asinine: Delete? Why would I want to delete you if I can trash your image on the Internet with my digital camera?
Mrs. Cutter: Asinine, that's sweet, but I couldn't possibly.
Lord Asinine: (walks away, singing) Somewheeeeeere over the Auroraaaa.
Mrs. Cutter: (sobs and hiccups loudly) Oh, I mustn't cry, my mascara isn't waterproof.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sorry; it's really abrupt. We've got a baaaaaaaad case of writer's block at the moment. Please review, or we'll send mental cliff ghasts at you. Bwahahahaha!