Chapter One
Trouble in Snape's Class
Author's Sian Cain and Lauren Waldhuter
Harry laughed to himself as he drew up the KICK ME sign he planned to stick on Snape's bum during Potions- and hopefully for the remainder of the day. Suddenly Ron walked in,
"Hey Harry, what's up"
"Oh nothing- just the most clever plan in Hogwarts history to completely and utterly humiliate Snape."
"Oh Right. Can I help? "
"Sure!"
But as usual, Hermione just HAD to walk in at the worst possible moment: now, muttering about the mark she had got for her Charms homework. "Just can't believe...stupid-of all answers." She spotted Harry and Ron sitting at the desk. "What are you two up to?"
"What-"Ron whirled around. "Oh. Err...Good day Hermione. What a wonderful and bright, colourful morning this day is-"
"OK." snapped Hermione. "What is it this time?" "But nothing, dear Hermione." Harry grinned, catching Ron¹s idea. "Why do you ask? We wouldn't do anything that would cause breaking or harming school rules."
"I never mentioned breaking rules." snapped Hermione. "Let me guess it' s another of those most clever plans in Hogwarts history to completely and utterly humiliate Snape." Hermione now had her hands on her hips and was shaking her head.
"No, no of course not what ever gave you that id- yes" Ron said.
³Excellent.² Hermione exclaimed, ³can I help? ²
³Er- yeah- sure.² said Harry a little puzzled. It was not like Hermione to actually want to break rules- well not for fun anyway.
The next day in potions, the Kick Me sign had been planted when Harry had pretended to trip over Malfoy's foot and go flying into Professor Snape¹s Bum. Harry was not actually looking forward to cleaning up Frogs eyes with professor Snape, that night for Detention- but it was totally worth it!
The best thing happened in 2 minutes time. Professor Snape had to find a document for Professor Dumbledore in the filing cabinet and it just happened to be in the bottom draw. It didn't take long for everyone to realise that there was a huge kick me, written in bright pink, signed, by Malfoy(Well duh, Harry wrote it). A huge snort from Seamus Finnigan made Snape stop waggling his bum in the air and turn around to glare at Seamus.
³What, ² he snarled. ³What¹s so funny? ²
He glared at every one. ³Whats so hilarious?²
The bad thing that happened in those 2 minutes was that Snape happened to notice when he was itching a certain spot, that his bum was feeling a bit different than usual; a bit like...like...paper?
He ripped the sign of and glared at it. He would have noticed the ³I did this! Signed Draco Malfoy! ² but chose to ignore it. He knew who did it and it happened to be the one, sitting 3 rows away, with the innocent, puppy dog look on his face.
³HARRY POTTER!² He bellowed, which some fith year students swore they could here three stories up in Defence Against Dark Arts class.
³Yes sir? May I mention that I did not find that funny one bit and that aftershave really smells good on you-²
³Cut the crap, Potter." I'm not even wearing after shave! Stop sucking up and tell me, what gave you the desire to stick this on my-err...upper thigh?²
³Sir I would never do that. Also can I mention that those boxer shorts bring out the colour in you eyes?²
³What!?² Snape looked down and pulled his trousers back up. ³Anyway, Draco Malfoy comes from a respectable family and would never do anything like- like this!² He pointed at the sign.
³Thankyou sir.²
³Shutup Mr Malfoy!!²
The next thing Harry could remember was being whisked away to Dumbledore's office as fast as he could say ³Kick Me² as Snape had described it.
³Mr Potter² Dumbledore sighed as he looked over his half moon spectacles.
³Y-yes² Harry stuttered, he had never been so scared in his life.
³You understand, that I have stuck up for you many times before and th-²
suddenly there was a knock on Dumbledore's office door.
³Enter² said Dumbledore.
In burst Snape with Ron and Hermione. Snape had a grin on his face that suggested that he had just been awarded the Order of Merlin First class.
³May I add that there is no reasonable explanation for what Harry did and-² Snape objected.
³Well Professor, we don¹t actually know that Harry did it.²
³But it is totally obvious.²
³But we have no proof . You may now leave.²
Snape left and muttered something which sounded like ³stupid ugly Potter favouring git² which lucky for Snape Dumbledore didn¹t hear, and if he did, Snape would have been out of Hogwarts faster than he could say ³stupid ugly Potter favouring git².
³Ahh, yes Mr Weasley Miss Granger.² Dumbledore started ³Mr Potter here exclaims that he did not place the sign on Mr Snape's- err lower half. Is that true? Mr Weasley, you first.²
³Er- well, of course Harry didn¹t do it, but I did see-² he paused for a second ³Seamus, looking a bit suspi-²
³Yes thankyou, Mr Weasley, I did not ask who did it, I was just asking if Mr Potter did²
Well Harry was relieved, he had really hoped Ron wouldn¹t tell, Hermione wouldn¹t of course, but well, he was saved.
³Miss Granger, you next²
³Of course they did, I didn¹t of course, I would not ever taunt a teacher like that. But yes they did, they BOTH did².
Harry felt like Christmas was cancelled. Hermione- tell on him!!
³Well, Mr Potter, Mr Weasley, it looks like Miss Granger here has told me the truth² Dumbledore continued ³ and i¹m am sorry to say, that Hogwarts does not tolerate behaviour like that, and I am sorry to say, but you two are EXPELLED!
Harry walked along the road. What was he going to do! He couldn¹t go back to the Dursleys, maybe he could stay with Sirius, no he was on the run, he couldn¹t slow him down. He wondered and wondered, until he saw that sign.
To be continued
Trouble in Snape's Class
Author's Sian Cain and Lauren Waldhuter
Harry laughed to himself as he drew up the KICK ME sign he planned to stick on Snape's bum during Potions- and hopefully for the remainder of the day. Suddenly Ron walked in,
"Hey Harry, what's up"
"Oh nothing- just the most clever plan in Hogwarts history to completely and utterly humiliate Snape."
"Oh Right. Can I help? "
"Sure!"
But as usual, Hermione just HAD to walk in at the worst possible moment: now, muttering about the mark she had got for her Charms homework. "Just can't believe...stupid-of all answers." She spotted Harry and Ron sitting at the desk. "What are you two up to?"
"What-"Ron whirled around. "Oh. Err...Good day Hermione. What a wonderful and bright, colourful morning this day is-"
"OK." snapped Hermione. "What is it this time?" "But nothing, dear Hermione." Harry grinned, catching Ron¹s idea. "Why do you ask? We wouldn't do anything that would cause breaking or harming school rules."
"I never mentioned breaking rules." snapped Hermione. "Let me guess it' s another of those most clever plans in Hogwarts history to completely and utterly humiliate Snape." Hermione now had her hands on her hips and was shaking her head.
"No, no of course not what ever gave you that id- yes" Ron said.
³Excellent.² Hermione exclaimed, ³can I help? ²
³Er- yeah- sure.² said Harry a little puzzled. It was not like Hermione to actually want to break rules- well not for fun anyway.
The next day in potions, the Kick Me sign had been planted when Harry had pretended to trip over Malfoy's foot and go flying into Professor Snape¹s Bum. Harry was not actually looking forward to cleaning up Frogs eyes with professor Snape, that night for Detention- but it was totally worth it!
The best thing happened in 2 minutes time. Professor Snape had to find a document for Professor Dumbledore in the filing cabinet and it just happened to be in the bottom draw. It didn't take long for everyone to realise that there was a huge kick me, written in bright pink, signed, by Malfoy(Well duh, Harry wrote it). A huge snort from Seamus Finnigan made Snape stop waggling his bum in the air and turn around to glare at Seamus.
³What, ² he snarled. ³What¹s so funny? ²
He glared at every one. ³Whats so hilarious?²
The bad thing that happened in those 2 minutes was that Snape happened to notice when he was itching a certain spot, that his bum was feeling a bit different than usual; a bit like...like...paper?
He ripped the sign of and glared at it. He would have noticed the ³I did this! Signed Draco Malfoy! ² but chose to ignore it. He knew who did it and it happened to be the one, sitting 3 rows away, with the innocent, puppy dog look on his face.
³HARRY POTTER!² He bellowed, which some fith year students swore they could here three stories up in Defence Against Dark Arts class.
³Yes sir? May I mention that I did not find that funny one bit and that aftershave really smells good on you-²
³Cut the crap, Potter." I'm not even wearing after shave! Stop sucking up and tell me, what gave you the desire to stick this on my-err...upper thigh?²
³Sir I would never do that. Also can I mention that those boxer shorts bring out the colour in you eyes?²
³What!?² Snape looked down and pulled his trousers back up. ³Anyway, Draco Malfoy comes from a respectable family and would never do anything like- like this!² He pointed at the sign.
³Thankyou sir.²
³Shutup Mr Malfoy!!²
The next thing Harry could remember was being whisked away to Dumbledore's office as fast as he could say ³Kick Me² as Snape had described it.
³Mr Potter² Dumbledore sighed as he looked over his half moon spectacles.
³Y-yes² Harry stuttered, he had never been so scared in his life.
³You understand, that I have stuck up for you many times before and th-²
suddenly there was a knock on Dumbledore's office door.
³Enter² said Dumbledore.
In burst Snape with Ron and Hermione. Snape had a grin on his face that suggested that he had just been awarded the Order of Merlin First class.
³May I add that there is no reasonable explanation for what Harry did and-² Snape objected.
³Well Professor, we don¹t actually know that Harry did it.²
³But it is totally obvious.²
³But we have no proof . You may now leave.²
Snape left and muttered something which sounded like ³stupid ugly Potter favouring git² which lucky for Snape Dumbledore didn¹t hear, and if he did, Snape would have been out of Hogwarts faster than he could say ³stupid ugly Potter favouring git².
³Ahh, yes Mr Weasley Miss Granger.² Dumbledore started ³Mr Potter here exclaims that he did not place the sign on Mr Snape's- err lower half. Is that true? Mr Weasley, you first.²
³Er- well, of course Harry didn¹t do it, but I did see-² he paused for a second ³Seamus, looking a bit suspi-²
³Yes thankyou, Mr Weasley, I did not ask who did it, I was just asking if Mr Potter did²
Well Harry was relieved, he had really hoped Ron wouldn¹t tell, Hermione wouldn¹t of course, but well, he was saved.
³Miss Granger, you next²
³Of course they did, I didn¹t of course, I would not ever taunt a teacher like that. But yes they did, they BOTH did².
Harry felt like Christmas was cancelled. Hermione- tell on him!!
³Well, Mr Potter, Mr Weasley, it looks like Miss Granger here has told me the truth² Dumbledore continued ³ and i¹m am sorry to say, that Hogwarts does not tolerate behaviour like that, and I am sorry to say, but you two are EXPELLED!
Harry walked along the road. What was he going to do! He couldn¹t go back to the Dursleys, maybe he could stay with Sirius, no he was on the run, he couldn¹t slow him down. He wondered and wondered, until he saw that sign.
To be continued