When I Don't Remember

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : Argh I soooo hate doing this!! Weiss belongs to Takehito um eh K-something *looks real stupid*, sorry minna I'm having a blonde moment, and Project Weiss. I own diddly-dick!

Warnings : Yaoi, OCC, Lemon, angst (as usual), probably should be more warning but we'll leave it at this.

Notes : Stuff written in Italic are thoughts.

Jin, fei, marsupial, lorien, Kamibukurosama, wildfire, Cookie, Kyri, Ponder, siberian, la blue kitty and all my other reviewers! This one is for you *winks* You ppl have made me spit out chapter after chapter faster than ever before! *huggles you all*

Oh and to siberian… I'm sorry but I'm too lazy (read too incompetent) to fix that. *sigh* Gomen.

And from this chapter on I will change POV from Ken to Ran every now and then.

Why am I babbling so much? Gomen nasai minna-san. Let's get on with the chapter shall we?

Chapter 9. Reclaiming Each Other

Ken's house was quiet even thought there were four men there. They looked at each other but no one seemed to know what to say. It was finally Omi who broke the silence.
"What happened earlier today?" Aya and Ken had never returned to the group and finally Kate had sent Dez back to look for them. The cowboy had found them at the ranch but both men refused to say anything about what had happened.
"That doesn't matter," Aya's deep voice said. The redhead was sitting next to Ken on the couch, they weren't touching but it was obvious that something had happened between them. "We should concentrate on sorting this mess out instead."
"Okay, so what do we know about Fukunishi?" Yoji asked and glanced at their leader.
"Nothing really. He left me at that cabin and never returned," Ken aswered quietly and took comfort from the redhead's closeness. He didn't want to answer their questions but he knew he would have to. What he really wanted was to curl up in Ran's arms and make sure the silent man forgave him for everything.
"This isn't good," Omi muttered. "Didn't Hattori tell you that Fukunishi never returned to Japan?"
"He did. But that doesn't mean anything really. Who knows whether or not he was lying to me?" The small blonde frowned but nodded.
"Something must have happened to him," Aya said slowly. "Omi can you try to find some information on him? I have a feeling he is indeed dead but we need to make sure."
"I'll try Aya-kun."
"Next thing we need is to find out just where the hell Dean is. We can't afford having him show up."
"Ran's right. Besides, Dean wants to use me to get to Ran," Ken mumbled and suddenly looked very ashamed. "When Fukunishi had me I told him that Ran was the one who had the information." A hand was placed over his. Carefully Ken looked up and met the redhead's amethyst eyes.
"It's okay Ken."
"You did what?" Ken winced.
"Drop it Yoji. Fukunishi tortured him, you would have talked too," Ran said coldly and set his icey stare at the lanky blonde.
"I'm sorry Kenken." The brunette waved the apology away and leaned against Ran.
"But Aya didn't you say that you destroyed that folder?" Omi frowned.
"I've been thinking about that. You know even if the folder is gone Hattori might have figured out that Ran is our leader and that he probably still has the information in his head," Ken sighed and grabbed the redhead's hand in a tight hold.
"He's right about that. I have it all up here," Aya agreed and tapped himself on the forehead. "And if it comes to them using Ken to get it, I'll spill it all. I'm sorry, but I refuse to gamble with Ken's life." Omi and Yoji stared at him for a while.
"We understand Aya-kun," the shorter blonde sighed.
"We'll just have to make sure it doesn't come to that then," Yoji muttered. "I don't even want to know what Kritiker will do to you if they find this out."
"I don't care Kudou! They can kill me if they want to!" the redhead snapped and glared at the lanky blonde.
"You two calm down! This isn't helping us at all," Omi interrupted. "I'll get my laptop and see what I can find out about Fukunishi and Dean."
"I'll go with you Omi," Yoji nodded and got up. The two blondes excused themselves and left.
"I know you have questions for me Ran," Ken almost whispered when they were alone. The redhead got up and walked over to the window.
"When did you memory come back?" he asked slowly.
"Just before I left Tokyo I started having more and more flashbacks and then one morning I just woke up and it was all back. Some things are still a little fuzzy but I don't think there's anything I don't remember." Aya nodded and turned around to look at him.
"What about Kate?" Ken bit his lip.
"I met her at the hospital and when I was released she took care of me. For a long time she was all I had. I know she has feelings for me but… I could never return them," the brunette answered.
"Why did you write that letter?" Another question Ken didn't really want to answer simply because he was ashamed.
"Manx said that if I wasn't around anymore Hattori would probably not be able to get to you so I wrote that letter just to make sure you wouldn't come after me. I'm sorry Ran." The redhead came up to him and took his hand.
"I understand Ken. If it hadn't been for that letter I would have come after you right away," he admitted and looked into those brown eyes he loved so much. Ken shivered. His body was screaming after what it had been denied for so long. He wanted to feel, touch and taste Ran again. But would the redhead let him?
"Ran… I…" The taller man kneeled down infront of him and cupped his cheek.
"My feelings for you haven't changed Ken," Ran said simply. "They never will. These three months have been hell for me and all I wanted was to run after you but I was so scared that you would push me away, that you wouldn't allow me to be close to you again."
"I want to… feel you Ran," the brunette mumbled. Instead of saying anything more Ran leaned forward and connected their lips. The kiss was soft, lingering and Ken was where he should be again. This time he knew that Ran wouldn't have second thoughts, that he would be allowed to stay where he wanted to be, in the redhead's arms.

Their lips parted just enough so that they both could breath again. Soft fingers ran through crimson hair, over pale cheeks and brushed across soft lips. Ken drowned in the touch of his lover's face. He had missed it so much and he wanted to touch, taste every part of that body. Slowly he caressed Ran's jawline with his lips, trailed his way to an ear. He whispered words he had wanted to say so many times when he had been alone. His hands rose again and played over the redhead's neck, throat, caressed as much skin as he could reach but it wasn't enough. Ran seemed to sense his need and began to unbotton his own shirt. Ken's eyes narrowed slightly when it parted and showed a chest that was so much more skinny than it used to. His fingers ran across it almost afraid that it would disappear just as it always had in his dreams. But Ran was really there and he wasn't going anywhere. Ken lowered his face and kissed his lover's neck, tasted skin and then moved on so that he could lap across Ran's collar-bone. A soft gasp was heard as his tongue played. The brunette looked up and watched the kneeling man's half-lidded eyes.
"Ken," Ran murmured and caused the other man to shiver. That deep smooth slightly hushed voice was enough to make him tingle all over. Smiling the brunette moved his face closer and covered Ran's lips with his. The kiss held feelings Ken knew that it had lacked when they had kissed at The Insatiable. He hadn't had all his memories and therefor not the complete devotion and love for Ran, but he had it now, he remembered everything now. The brunette let out a soft moan when teasing fingers found their way under his t-shirt and brushed over his ribs. In a matter of seconds the redhead had removed it and gently placed his lips agains the tanned skin.

Ken smelled of sun-warmed skin, grass and that special scent that was Ken. Ran's senses spun with joy and recognition. This was his just as everything about him was Ken's. Slowly he made his way back and forth across the brunette's chest, kissing and nipping at the warm flesh. He just couldn't get enough, didn't want to stop, ever. The skin he tasted was sweet but masculine. His tongue brushed over a nipple and drew a throathy moan from the brunette. Ken was shivering and the redhead knew that he was too. Ran's hand fell from the chest they had been exploring and were gently placed on strong thighs. Slowly he stood up and pulled the brunette with him. Skin pressed against skin as lips connected again and tongues met. When the kiss broke Ran looked into Ken's brown eyes and smiled softly. This was so right and he had missed it all so much. The brunette took his hand and lead him towards the stairs. Willingly the slightly taller man followed him fully aware of where they were headed and what Ken wanted from him. It only took a few moments before he was lead into a bedroom that smelled just like the brunette's skin. Without a word they sank down on the bed and went back to reclaiming each other's bodies.

Ken's fingers danced over pale skin in an almost desperate attempt to touch everywhere at once. Ran's remaining clothes were in his way so he began working on removing them. With a little help from the redhead he managed to completely strip his lover. Chocolate eyes feasted upon what was theirs and theirs alone. Slowly Ken removed one of the two necklaces around Ran's neck and placed it around his own. The redhead smiled at him and caressed his cheek before pulling him down for another kiss. Slender fingers roamed over tanned skin and finally worked open the button in Ken's jeans. Swiftly the hinder was removed and their naked bodies pressed together. A new dance started where sunkissed limbs intwined with milky white. Ran's hand found its way to a slender hip and gently caressed it, asking for access to more private parts. With a sigh of longing the brunette sank down on his back. The redhead softly painted invisible patterns on Ken's inner thighs with his fingers. It was sweet torture but Ran wasn't cruel. His hand moved further up and fluttered across his lover's erection, pulling soft moans from his lips. The brunette's hips bucked up slightly when the touch got more intense but he craved something else, something more. Ran understood the unspoken request and backed away from him. On shaky knees Ken made it to the other side of the bed and searched through the bedside table. The jar he found was actually filled with a ointment for lips but that didn't matter. He made his way back to his lover and placed in his pale hands. Ran ignored it for a moment and occupied himself with breathtaking kisses. Ken almost purred at the feeling of the redhead's weight upon him then he felt gentle fingers brush between his legs. Willingly he spread them to give his lover more room. Carefully Ran caressed him between his buttocks before gently applying enough pressure to allow one slender digit to slide inside. Ken let out a sufficated moan and pressed against the sensation. Ran stilled him and slowly began to move his hand. When he inserted a second finger the brunette almost went into a tailspin. None of his dreams could compare to the feelings Ran was causing him. Gently and slowly the redhead stretched him, carefully making sure his lover would be ready for him. Ken gasped for air and pleaded for more. Amethyst eyes met brown asking for permission.
"Please Ran," the brunette breathed. Satisfied with the answer to his silent question the red haired assassin removed his hand and kneeled between muscular thighs. He leaned forward and softly nibbled on his lover's kiss-swollen lips. It had always amazed Ken how gentle and caring Ran was even when his own urges were high and demanding. He smiled into the kiss and ran his hands up and down the redhead's sides. Moments later he felt the tip of Ran's erection softly pressing against his entrance. Moaning out another plea Ken shifted to urge his lover on. The latter complied and carefully started to ease himself inside the brunette's willing body. There was pain but it was bearable and Ken knew there would be pleasure soon. With a soft moan Ran was finally completely buried inside of him. The redhead stopped all movements to allow his lover to adjust. Ken let out a low rumble from the back of his throat making it clear that he wasn't happy with the lack of movement but Ran stayed still. Warm and caring hands started to caress his body instead, almost causing his sensitive skin to burst into flames.
"Ran," Ken finally begged. At that the redhead finally started moving slowly. Almost in slow motion he pulled out slightly and then carefully pushed back inside. Their moans mixed and lips sought lips. Slowly the pace picked up and the gentle sliding became thrusts. Ran shifted slightly and his next thrust hit a spot inside Ken that almost sent him sky-high. "Please," the brunette gasped. He needed more. Again Ran complied and the thrusts picked up pace. The redhead's moans had become slightly hoarse and his breathing strained. A warm hand caressed Ken's stomach and traveled lower until it was wrapped around the brunette's erection. In time with his thrusts Ran stroked his lover. The rhythm was turned up even more and both men knew that neither one of them would last much longer. One well-aimed thrust drove Ken over the edge with a low scream that spelled Ran's name. His body clamped down on the length it harboured and pulled the redhead into climax. Ran's deep smooth voice let out an answering scream that called the brunette's name before his weight almost collapsed ontop the slightly shorter man. For a moment neither one of them moved. Hoarse breaths were the only sounds that filled the dusky room. Gently Ran lifted himself up from his lover and settled down beside him. Ken gasped slightly as the redhead pulled out of him, but it was a gasp of loss not one of pain. Arms pulled him close and held him tight in an embrace that the brunette had dreamt of so many times.
"Ken," Ran sighed with love and buried his face against his lover's neck. The brunette wrapped his arms around Ran's warm body and murmured softly. He was back where he belonged, he was finally home again.

~TBC~

Oh dear God that sucked so badly *breaks down in a pile of sobbing blonde* Seriously this is about as graphic as a lemon will get for me. I wanted it to be beautiful and sensual but I don't know how that came out. *sighs* Please do tell me what you thought about it.

And Jin… This was the chapter I talked about in my review to you *hehe* Is the deal on? *glomps you* Ja/Atsureki