When I Don't Remember

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : I'm gonna get rid off Takehito's wife, marry him myself, divorce him and then, at least half of Weiss will be mine! Hm or maybe I'll just forget about Weiss and stay with Takehito *ponders* His voice is so sexy!!! *mutters* HEY! I can dream can't I?

Warnings : Yaoi, OCC, angst (as usual), probably should be more warning but we'll leave it at this.

Notes : Stuff written in Italic are thoughts.

Thanks for the lovely comments on the Lemon thingy *glomps all the wonderfull ppl* You might even get another one since I might not suck as much at them as I thought I did? *nods* We'll see….

Chapter 10. Outcast

Ran slowly opened his eyes and drew in the familier smell of his lover. Ken's back was pressed against his chest and brown hair supplied him with a soft pillow. The redhead smiled and wrapped his arms tighter around the warm body he was resting against. He was happy, content and didn't feel like moving any time soon. After they had made love the previous day they had spent a long time just cuddling before finally getting up for a shower and to grab something to eat. It had been so nice to be able to act like the couple they were without having to worry about who saw them. Ran nuzzled his lover's neck and heard the slight shift in Ken's breathing that informed him that they were both awake. Tanned fingers intwined with his and the mop of brown hair moved as Ken turned around and smiled softly. Ran almost drowned in those deep pools of warm brown eyes. Waking up with Ken in his arms was something nothing would ever be able to compare to. The redhead returned the smile and pulled his lover closer.
"Yuki?" Brown eyes narrowed slightly while amethyst looked confused. "Yuki? Are you home?"
"Kate," Ken mumbled and sighed. Ran caressed his cheek and smiled again.
"Just go down and talk to her. She's probably worried about yesterday." The brunette nodded slowly.
"Will you be here when I get back?" he asked almost sounding frightened. Ran kissed him softly.
"I'll be right here Ken, I'm not going anywhere." The brunette got up and pulled on a pair of pants before he left the room. Ran flipped over to his stomach and buried his face in Ken's pillow hugging it tightly.

The brunette slowly went downstairs where he found Kate standing just inside the front door. She had a look of concern in her green eyes.
"Morning Kate," Ken said quietly.
"Morning." He headed for the kitchen and heard that she followed him.
"Coffee?" Kate shook her head and sat down. "Did you get the horses down?"
"Huh? Oh yes of course. Yuki what happened yesterday? Why did you get so angry with um, hm, that redhead?" The brunette turned on the coffee-maker and turned around to face her.
"When I came back from Tokyo I told you that I still didn't remember anything about my past," Ken started slowly, searching for words to explain. "I lied to you Kate, I even lied to myself. I found out things about me that just were too scary and that I couldn't handle." Not the complete truth but then he couldn't very well tell her that he was an assassin.
"Is that why you came back so suddenly?" she asked softly.
"I met Yoji, Omi and Ran in Tokyo and they knew me. They filled in some of the blanks and I managed to fill in some myself."
"You were acting so strange when you came back. You used to be so open but after you came back you just closed yourself up," Kate sighed. "You'd smile but it never reached your eyes. Why Yuki?"
"My name isn't Yuki, it's Ken," the brunette said quietly. "There's something I have to tell you Kate." She titled her head slightly.
"You know you can tell me anything Yu… Ken. You know how I feel about you." Ken closed his eyes for a moment. He would have to come clean about Ran but he didn't want to hurt her.
"Kate, that redhead, Ran, is my lover." She stared at him with disbelief in her eyes.
"But I thought…"
"I dreamt of him almost every night, dreamt of someone I loved that I called koi, lover. I couldn't see his face but I had a… hunch that it was a man. When I saw him in Tokyo I couldn't really remember him but inside I knew that we belonged together." Kate shook her head and stood up.
"You're telling me that all along you knew that I had nothing you wanted and still you lead me on?!" she snapped at him. Ken sighed deeply. That wasn't completely true but then it wasn't completely wrong either.
"Kate I do care about you and about Matt. You two were all I had for so long and both of you accepted me the way I was. Believe me I never meant to hurt you," the brunette answered softly.
"You're disgusting! All those times you played with Matt… What did you do to him?" Ken sighed again and shook his head. He had guessed that she would be upset but to be accused of doing things to Matt he had not expected.
"If you feel that I disgust you that's fine Kate but don't equal being gay with being a pedophile. One has nothing to do with the other," Ken said with hurt.
"And we let you be alone with all those kids… Oh dear God! How many of them did you molest!?" She wasn't listening to him anymore. "I'm gonna send the cops after you, you filthy pervert!" Kate yelled at him and Ken was lost for words.
"Be quiet!" a hard deep voice interrupted. Kate swirled around and winced at the ice cold glare she received from amethyst eyes.

Ran frowned at the voices he heard from the kitchen. He got up from the bed and pulled on some clothes before he headed downstairs.
"You're disgusting! All those times you played with Matt…" The redhead raised an eyebrow. What did that have to do with anything?
"If you feel that I disgust you that's fine Kate but don't equal being gay with being a pedophile. One has nothing to do with the other," he heard his lover say, his voice filled with hurt. Who was this ignorant woman? Narrow-minded ignorant idiot, Ran muttered in his head. It was people like Kate that made his and Ken's life together difficult, people who couldn't find it within themselves to accept that love has no boundaries.
"And we let you be alone with all those kids… Oh dear God! How many of them did you molest!? I'm gonna send the cops after you, you filthy pervert!" Trembling with anger Ran stalked into the kitchen.
"Be quiet!" he snapped and set his hard eyes on the woman. "How can you even think that Ken would ever hurt a child?" That question made Kate stiffen.
"But he's, he's a… a…" she studdered. Ran glanced at his lover and shuddered at the pain in his eyes.
"He's a warm and kind human being," the redhead said firmly and walked over to Ken.
"Of course you'd defend him you're just like him! A sick perverted homo!"
"Try to understand Kate… This has nothing to do with genders and it most certainly has nothing to do with being a pedophile! I don't love Ken because he's a man, I love him because he's Ken and I'm willing to bet that that's why you fell in love with him too. You're being very unfair and narrow-minded and I don't really think that's who you are Kate. If you were Ken wouldn't care so much about you," Ran finished off and felt how his lover leaned against him. He protectivly placed his arm around Ken's shoulders and pulled him closer. Kate stared at them and twisted her hands. It was obvioius she didn't know what to think anymore.
"I… I," she mumbled before she turned around and left. Ran sighed and moved infront of Ken.
"I'm sorry Ken," he mumbled and met the sad brown eyes. His lover just shook his head with sadness and hid his face against Ran's shirt. The redhead wrapped his arms around Ken and held him tight. He couldn't stand to see the brunette hurt like that especially not when it was caused by someone just being stupid.

It took Ran a long time to calm Ken down after Kate had left them. Inside the redhead fumed. How could anyone accuse Ken of something so horrible? He could understand that Kate was upset but to think that the brunette would force himself on a child? Ran shook his head sadly and looked at the man in his arms. It pained him so much to see hurt in those brown eyes.
"Aya?" The redhead looked up at the quiet sound of his name. Omi and Yoji were standing in the doorway looking rather strange. Ran glanced down at his lover again, then back up putting a finger over his mouth showing that they shouldn't disturb Ken.
"We need to talk," Yoji mouthed to him. Ran shook his head. This was not the time. "When?" the blonde mouthed and looked at Ken. The redhead raised his hand and showed his team-mates his index-finger indicating that they should come back in one hour. Omi nodded and frowned slightly.
"Is Kenken okay?" the petit blonde asked without a sound. Ran shook his head again at that. Omi tilted his head slightly and gestured to Yoji that they should leave. The lanky blonde nodded to his friend and they left Ran and Ken alone.
"Thank you." The redhead ran his hand through Ken's hair.
"I thought you were asleep," he said softly.
"I was. What did Omi and Yoji want?" the brunette asked and sat up.
"I think they've found some information but it can wait. I want to make sure you're okay first," Ran answered and met his lover's eyes.
"I just don't understand… How could she even think that I would do something like that?" The redhead sighed and rested his forehead against the Ken's.
"I don't know Ken, I don't know… She might just have been shocked and angry," he suggested quietly.
"Ran?" The redhead tilted his head slightly.
"Yes."
"Why did you push me away when I returned to Tokyo?" Ran frowned a little. He knew that Ken was asking him that just to pull away from what Kate had said earlier but it wasn't something he wanted to talk about.
"I was scared," Ran admitted quietly. "When you suddenly showed up again I didn't know how to handle it and then you couldn't remember, I was afraid that you'd never remember us. That night before you left again it felt so good to have you back in my arms but… the next morning I felt so guilt. It felt like I was betraying the real you by seeking comfort in the person you had become." Ken seemed to think about that for a moment.
"I remembered that I loved you but I couldn't grasp why or how much.Yuki was so empty, so lost and he…" Ken's voice trailed off. "I think Yuki wanted you just so that he could feel something."
"No, Yuki wanted me because deep down inside he was you," the redhead smiled softly.

Ken's brown eyes observed Omi as the blonde looked through his papers. It was almost dark outside and it had taken the small blonde and Yoji all day to get back to his house.
"What took you two so long?" Ran asked from his place next to the brunette.
"We had to pack our things and leave the ranch," Yoji muttered and lit a cigarette. "Seems like rumours travels fast here."
"What do you mean?" Ken asked and frowned.
"Someone told Hank about the two of you and we're no longer welcome at his ranch," the lanky blonde snorted and shook his head. Ken sighed. 24 hours ago those people had seen him as a friend and now he was just a sick perverted homo to them. Ran glanced at him and took his hand. It felt good to know that the redhead was so close and that he didn't care if Omi and Yoji were there.
"So, did you find anything?" Ran asked slowly and looked at the smaller blonde.
"You're not going to like this Aya," Omi muttered. "This is a real mess and I'm not sure how we're suppose to clean it up."
"Just start from the beginning."
"Okay. I tracked down Fukunishi. He was in a car-accident and ended up at the hospital in Great Falls where he died three weeks later. This is good news but unfortunately he had contact with one person before he past away. It seems like Dean and Fukunishi were going behind Hattori's back," Omi said and looked up from his papers. "Dean was the one who claimed Fukunishi's body from the morgue."
"How does this prove that they were going behind Hattori's back?" Ran asked.
"Dean wasn't a member of the yakuza back then. He joined Hattori a little more than 7 months ago. Fukunishi lived in USA for several years and from what I found out he did a lot of nasty things together with Dean. Dean's past is a mess from the moment he became a Marine until the day when FBI got rid of him. That man is seriously twisted. Unfortunately for us he still has tons of connections over here and if he decides to start pulling strings we'll be…"
"Swimming upstream in shit-creek," Yoji filled in and stubbed out his cigarette. "Omi did some serious hacking last night and it turns out that Hattori's days as Oyabun are counted. His people are having second thoughts about him and the clan yakuza is eager to get rid of him too. Being a freelance yakuza they of course have problems with the clan but this is a bit more serious. Hattori has a lot more money than he should and that makes him a whole lot more trouble than he should be," the lanky blonde muttered.
"Yoji's right. I don't think Fukunishi ever intended to give the information to Hattori at all."
"But Hattori knew that I said that Ran had the folder," Ken objected.
"Yes but the real question is… When did he find that out? If Dean is trying some sort of scam here who knows what he's been telling Hattori? He could very well have pretended to have found that out just recently," Omi sighed. "Aya was there any information in that folder concerning Hattori?" Ran frowned for a moment.
"Yes there was. Hattori was and still is one of Kritikers main targets but he is extremly difficult to take out. He's well informed and have great protection. If Fukunishi had had the information in that folder he would, however, have been able to destroy him. We would probably have failed trying but Fukunishi was Hattori's closest man and knew his hiding-places."
"What else did you find out about Dean?" Ken mumbled and closed his eyes. He hated this.
"He's not in Japan anymore." Brown and amethyst eyes stared at Omi.
"What?!" Ran asked harshly.
"I contacted Manx yesterday. Dean left Japan four days ago, he's here." This just keeps getting better and better, Ken growled inside and leaned against Ran.
"What exactly does here mean?" the redhead wondered and shifted slightly to let his lover get more comfortable.
"From what I've learnt he's in Helena. Or at least he was in Helena two days ago," Omi frowned. "Oh I almost forgot. Dean owns a cabin in the mountains. My bet is that that's where Fukunishi took Ken."
"Does Dean have any connections in Japan?" The short blonde looked at Ran and nodded.
"He was stationed there for two years, before Fukunishi moved to USA. Fukunishi was born and lived in the same town that Dean was stationed at."
"The plot thickens," Yoji mumbled. "I think it's safe to assume that they met there." Ran nodded and chewed on his lip.
"We know that Ken was taken to the hospital in Great Falls but what do we know about the location where he was found?"
"I made a mistake there. I thought he was found pretty close to Hank's ranch but he wasn't. Dean's cabin isn't exactly close to here which is probably why he didn't manage to find Ken."
"And since nobody there knew who I was Dean had no way of knowing where I was?" Ken suggested and sighed deeply.
"That's my bet," Omi nodded. "What bothers me is how fast Dean rose in ranks with Hattori. Why was he so trusted?"
"Good question," Ran muttered. "If they went behind Hattori's back it's not so strange that no one came after me straight away. But Dean can't have done all this on his own, he has to have others with him." The room became quiet.
"What if Dean is getting help from the clan yakuza? That would explain why he gets around so much," Omi said slowly and broke the silence. Ken shuddered.
"Either way we can't stay here," Ran frowned and rose from the couch. "This is a small town where everybody knows everybody and obviously we're no longer welcome. I suggest we pack our things and head for Great Falls where we'd at least be anonymous."
"I agree," Ken sighed. "Give me a few minutes to pack."
"Ken-kun do you have a car?" Omi asked and tilted his head. The brunette raised an eyebrow.
"Of course. I have a truck parked behind the house, it's old and rusty but it'll get us to Great Falls."

~TBC~

Okay you might think Kate's being very weird here but unfortunately there are ppl who think that just because a man prefers other men they're automaticly pedophiles. *sighs* Kate was never supposed to accept that Yuki/Ken loved Ran but that part of her outburst was brought on by me running into a stupid bitch *parten my language* I simply cannot stand ppl who are so narrow-minded and ignorant! *fumes* She attacked a very dear friend of mine who happens to be gay. He also happens to be the sweetest guy alive and oh yes she made hints that he went for small kids. *sees red* I'm not sure this world has room for ppl like her! Oh well sorry for babbling about this but some ppl need to seriously grow a brain or I'm gonna end up doing time for assult and kicking ass!/Atsureki