Act II- Truth and Pies
SBC Studios, 9:00 AM
Snake- Hi, I'm Snake. I'm here to ask about The Burt Reynold's Show.
President of SBC- Well, what do you want to know?
Snake- I was wondering if I could talk to Mr. Reynold's?
President of SBC- I'm sorry. He's a very busy man.
Snake- Well, I think he may be dead.
President of SBC- Dead? That's ridiculous.
Snake- Well, two days ago I saw him being stabbed in an alleyway. When I went to see his body, it was gone, and a pie was in it's place.
President of SBC- This is horrible, you spreading lies like this.
Snake- Then answer me this: has Burt been to the studios in the past few days?
President of SBC- Well...no. But he's not supposed to be, he's on vacation.
Snake- Vacation?
President of SBC- Yes. In the Bahamas.
Snake- Interesting. When did he leave for the trip?
President of SBC- Last Muesday.
Snake- Then that means...who was the man I saw getting stabbed?
President of SBC- I'm not sure, so please leave, I'm a busy man.
Snake- One more question. Is The Burt Reynold's show showing repeats?
President of SBC- No. New episodes.
Snake- How? Burt's gone.
President of SBC- We've got a replacement host. Chuck Norris.
Snake- Norris!? I need to speak to him immediately!
Studio 8, 9:40 AM
Snake- So Chuck, if that is your real name, why did you try to kill me?
Chuck- Uhhh....what?
Snake- First you stab Reynolds, then you hire a sniper to shoot me.
Chuck- I don't know what you're talking about. I'm a reformed man now, after they let me out of prison, I've been good.
Snake- That's a lie, no criminal's ever get reformed, they're all scumbags!
Chuck- Weren't you in prison?
Snake- Shut up, I'm reformed.
Chuck- Sure you were, scumbag.
Snake- Ok, that's enough Chuck. I'm taking you down to the jail right now.
Chuck- Wait! I can help you.
Snake- How?
Chuck- Ok. Before he left, Burt told me to give you this note in case you ever came by,
Snake- Really?
Chuck- Yes. Here it is.
Dear Snake
If you're reading this, then it means I'm dead. I must warn you, you're in grave danger. I've already went into hiding in the Bahama's but I don't think it's enough. I only have one more thing to tell you: I have an informant, he lives at the Sunshine Dump. Meet him there, he can help you.
Your enemy, Burt Reynolds
Snake- Hmmm...Chuck, do you know where the Sunshine Dump is?
Chuck- Sure. That's where I pick out all mu furniture.
Snake- Good. I want you to drive me there, right now.
The Sunshine Dump, 10:35 AM
Snake- Ok Chuck, take a look around.
Chuck- Hey Snake, there's someone up the-
Mysterious Sniper- Die Snake!
Snake- Wahhhh!
Mysterious Sniper- Damn, out of bullets. I'LL BE BACK SNAKE!
Snake- Chuck, are you ok?
Chuck- No, ughhh...
Snake- Chuck? CHHHUUUUUCCCKKK!
Snake's Apartment, 12:03 PM
Snake- I'm stumped Colonel. I have no leads.
Colonel- Don't be so sure.
Snake- Why?
Colonel- Revolver Ocelot's here, he says he can help you.
Snake- Aw great, I told you not to give him directions to my house. Now he's going to come in here and take all the food in my fridge.
Revolver- Snake, I have to tell you something.
Snake- What is it Revolver.
Revolver- Two days ago, the day you saw the stabbing, I saw Burt Reynolds!
Snake- Where!
Revolver- He went into Milton's, you know the bakery.
Snake- Great. I'll go check it out.
Milton's Bakery, 12: 56 PM
Snake- Milton, did Burt Reynold's come in here 2 days ago?
Milton- Uhhh...yeah, yeah he did.
Snake- Did he buy anything?
Milton- No, he had to use the bathroom.
Snake- Damn. Did anyone come in here with him?
Milton- Uhhh...no. But someone came in a few seconds after he entered the bathroom. A man wearing a fake mustache, I couldn't tell who it was.
Snake- Do you have cameras in here?
Milton- No, but I make everyone sign a list whenever they come in here.
Snake- Why?
Milton- I don't know, it makes this job more interesting.
Snake- Can I see the list?
Milton- Yeah, I guess.
Customer List
---------------
Jackie Shooster- 2 Blueberry Pies
Marlon Brando- 96 Loaves of Bread
Burt Reynolds- Bathroom
Cool Len- 1 Apple Pie
Sean Cole- 1 Apple Pie, 2 loaves of bread
Horrace Tockinton- 12 Muffins
Brant Googala- Nothing
Snake- Hmmm...Cool Len and Sean Cole both bought apple pies.
Milton- Cool Len was the guy in the mustace. I don't know who he is.
Snake- What about Sean Cole?
Milton- He lives down the road. I can give you the address.
Snake- I'll go pay him a visit. See if he stabbed anybody lately.
To be Continued...
Nex time: Act III- Pie Hard 2: Pie Harder
SBC Studios, 9:00 AM
Snake- Hi, I'm Snake. I'm here to ask about The Burt Reynold's Show.
President of SBC- Well, what do you want to know?
Snake- I was wondering if I could talk to Mr. Reynold's?
President of SBC- I'm sorry. He's a very busy man.
Snake- Well, I think he may be dead.
President of SBC- Dead? That's ridiculous.
Snake- Well, two days ago I saw him being stabbed in an alleyway. When I went to see his body, it was gone, and a pie was in it's place.
President of SBC- This is horrible, you spreading lies like this.
Snake- Then answer me this: has Burt been to the studios in the past few days?
President of SBC- Well...no. But he's not supposed to be, he's on vacation.
Snake- Vacation?
President of SBC- Yes. In the Bahamas.
Snake- Interesting. When did he leave for the trip?
President of SBC- Last Muesday.
Snake- Then that means...who was the man I saw getting stabbed?
President of SBC- I'm not sure, so please leave, I'm a busy man.
Snake- One more question. Is The Burt Reynold's show showing repeats?
President of SBC- No. New episodes.
Snake- How? Burt's gone.
President of SBC- We've got a replacement host. Chuck Norris.
Snake- Norris!? I need to speak to him immediately!
Studio 8, 9:40 AM
Snake- So Chuck, if that is your real name, why did you try to kill me?
Chuck- Uhhh....what?
Snake- First you stab Reynolds, then you hire a sniper to shoot me.
Chuck- I don't know what you're talking about. I'm a reformed man now, after they let me out of prison, I've been good.
Snake- That's a lie, no criminal's ever get reformed, they're all scumbags!
Chuck- Weren't you in prison?
Snake- Shut up, I'm reformed.
Chuck- Sure you were, scumbag.
Snake- Ok, that's enough Chuck. I'm taking you down to the jail right now.
Chuck- Wait! I can help you.
Snake- How?
Chuck- Ok. Before he left, Burt told me to give you this note in case you ever came by,
Snake- Really?
Chuck- Yes. Here it is.
Dear Snake
If you're reading this, then it means I'm dead. I must warn you, you're in grave danger. I've already went into hiding in the Bahama's but I don't think it's enough. I only have one more thing to tell you: I have an informant, he lives at the Sunshine Dump. Meet him there, he can help you.
Your enemy, Burt Reynolds
Snake- Hmmm...Chuck, do you know where the Sunshine Dump is?
Chuck- Sure. That's where I pick out all mu furniture.
Snake- Good. I want you to drive me there, right now.
The Sunshine Dump, 10:35 AM
Snake- Ok Chuck, take a look around.
Chuck- Hey Snake, there's someone up the-
Mysterious Sniper- Die Snake!
Snake- Wahhhh!
Mysterious Sniper- Damn, out of bullets. I'LL BE BACK SNAKE!
Snake- Chuck, are you ok?
Chuck- No, ughhh...
Snake- Chuck? CHHHUUUUUCCCKKK!
Snake's Apartment, 12:03 PM
Snake- I'm stumped Colonel. I have no leads.
Colonel- Don't be so sure.
Snake- Why?
Colonel- Revolver Ocelot's here, he says he can help you.
Snake- Aw great, I told you not to give him directions to my house. Now he's going to come in here and take all the food in my fridge.
Revolver- Snake, I have to tell you something.
Snake- What is it Revolver.
Revolver- Two days ago, the day you saw the stabbing, I saw Burt Reynolds!
Snake- Where!
Revolver- He went into Milton's, you know the bakery.
Snake- Great. I'll go check it out.
Milton's Bakery, 12: 56 PM
Snake- Milton, did Burt Reynold's come in here 2 days ago?
Milton- Uhhh...yeah, yeah he did.
Snake- Did he buy anything?
Milton- No, he had to use the bathroom.
Snake- Damn. Did anyone come in here with him?
Milton- Uhhh...no. But someone came in a few seconds after he entered the bathroom. A man wearing a fake mustache, I couldn't tell who it was.
Snake- Do you have cameras in here?
Milton- No, but I make everyone sign a list whenever they come in here.
Snake- Why?
Milton- I don't know, it makes this job more interesting.
Snake- Can I see the list?
Milton- Yeah, I guess.
Customer List
---------------
Jackie Shooster- 2 Blueberry Pies
Marlon Brando- 96 Loaves of Bread
Burt Reynolds- Bathroom
Cool Len- 1 Apple Pie
Sean Cole- 1 Apple Pie, 2 loaves of bread
Horrace Tockinton- 12 Muffins
Brant Googala- Nothing
Snake- Hmmm...Cool Len and Sean Cole both bought apple pies.
Milton- Cool Len was the guy in the mustace. I don't know who he is.
Snake- What about Sean Cole?
Milton- He lives down the road. I can give you the address.
Snake- I'll go pay him a visit. See if he stabbed anybody lately.
To be Continued...
Nex time: Act III- Pie Hard 2: Pie Harder