-----chapter 10-----
1250 hrs EST
John Mathis had the conn, as Elizabeth Lochley retired to her cabin grabbing much needed rest after travelling four hours in a Starfury to get to the Excalibur.
Travelling in hyperspace was far different than enduring normal space travel. In normal space, the stars streaked by endlessly and at a crawl. In hyperspace, there were no stars; just the endless shifting of the tides of hyperspace; which often caused disorientation; Hyper Space Travel Syndrome, HSTS. To prevent the syndrome to occur on cruise liners carrying passengers, the ship's were not equipped with view ports
Yet Lochley was travelling in a Starfury with a cockpit, giving her a panorama view of hyperspace. To her hyperspace was like a fiery hell. Always shifting, always moving. And always dangerous. Very few ships these days could travel off hyperspace navigational beacons. Excalibur was one of them.
Once you traveled off the beacon, one minor shift through the tides could throw you parsecs away. Leaving you lost in space.
Only once had a search and rescue op succeeded. That was ten years ago, shortly after John Sheridan took command of Babylon 5. The S&R was mounted and ordered by Sheridan when the Explorer cruiser Cortez was lost in hyperspace.
John knew Lochley would need all the rest she could get. Travelling solo in hyperspace could become very exhausting. The fatigue not a pleasant element when severe command decisions would be instructed. So John decided not to summon her until they were ready to jump into normal space.
Which was only two hours away.
He had gone over the readiness of Excalibur's battle systems five times already. Just as many times he had linked engineering on the status of the Gravimetric reactor. The key in Excalibur's swift speeds, and artificial gravity.
He had even made a personal inspection to the flight deck. Ready to launch were the entire complement of Excalibur's fighters. Starfurys and Thunderbolts alike, they sat ready to propel themselves into danger.
And the best ace pilots were ready to risk their lives. All they were waiting on; the order. They would fly through hell and back if they were ordered to. They would sacrifice their lives if it meant the safety of the Excalibur, and the completion of the Mission.
The pilots were waiting in the locker room connected to the flight deck, waiting, talking, treading the deck. Wishing they were outside, than inside.
There time would come soon enough. And not all of them would return. John knew it. Lochley knew it. Every commanding officer knew that their officers sent out into danger on a mission, would not always return. It was the thing John did not anticipate when he was given his own command.
In all the years serving with Gideon, he wondered how he could do it. Send the letter to the next-a-kin after the death of someone in his command. He did not know how any commanding officer could accomplish the task, with little or no emotional connection.
John and Matthew had been through a lot. During their time on Excalibur, and their time serving on the Phoenix. Over the years a relationship, border lining the fine line of friendship, and comradeship. Matthew even trusted John with the detail of what occurred on the Cerberus eleven years ago.
The Cerberus was attacked by an unknown vessel. Inspecting the damage was on the destroyer was Ensign Matthew Gideon. As he was outside, Gideon saw the conventional engines illuminate bright blue, driving the Omega destroyer away from him. Shifting his vision away from the Cerberus, he saw the ship pass in front of the system's sun to commence another attack run on the Cerberus.
The Cerberus was hit again as the jump point formed before them. The ship exploded like a sun advancing into super nova before they could escape.
And now, John could not help but shake the feeling, that the same people, the Storm that were involved in the salvage of the Shadow ship that destroyed the Cerberus, were the same ones in charge of inquiry Gideon soon would face.
There was an amount of trust that John never knew could be maintained by the commanding officer and executive officer. John never had many friends, other than those in the Psi Corp. There were never any mundane that would associate with him. Not even after the Corp fell after the Telepath Conflict.
Yet, Matthew, was like no other mundane. Knowing that John was a Telepath, and that mundanes feared his kind for their abilities, Matthew always had trust in John.
John only wished that he could return the trust, by somehow getting his captain out of the trouble he was in. He would do anything for Matthew. Numerous times in the past, Matthew had helped John out.
But John was standing with his hands tied behind his back, and about to go head first into battle, while Matthew faced a battle all of his own.
Everyone had their own demons to face, Galen had once said. When the time comes to face those demons, it must be done so, alone.
John knew all about demons. He had some of his own. He doubted that there was a person, or alien for that matter who did not.
To this day, John's demons remained. But did not haunt him as severe as they did, until Excalibur came across the Path of Sorrows.
An alien in a orb, sitting, waiting to join with an individuals mind, examining their past, and the guilt. The alien did not feed on the guilt, but forgiveness. The alien showed John that forgiveness was possible. And ever since then, the cries he imagined that he was in part responsible for, never haunted his dreams again.
It was in the final days of the Conflict. The Psi Corps were about to mount an offensive against the Opposition, when one of the Opposition leaders was captured. John was assigned to administer the sleeper injections that would hinder her abilities. Right before the complex fell victim under an opposition assault, it was revealed to him by the leader that she had given her life to the Opposition. Inside her was a homing beacon that would guide the Opposition's assault.
John with a handful of fellow Psi Corp members were in the air in a shuttle when the complex was engulfed in a fire cloud.
For so long the cries he imagined of those trapped in the complex when the attack hit haunted his dreams. He felt so much guilt, but he continued to stride forward.
The Corp fell, the Opposition was disbanded, and telepaths were allowed to join EarthForce. And if not for Gideon's persistence, John would be on the Phoenix or some other Earth ship, instead of where he was now. John owed Matthew so much. And he was not about to let his commanding officer, and friend down. Not a chance in hell.