A/N: Beware of ASS. That's all. New words: Pheobenator

Setting: *One two skip a few [episodes]* Takes place right after Charmed and Dangerous.

The Furry Ones staring in:

Nothing Like the Smell of Ass in the Morning.

After weeks in crashing in Paige's room, Kit, Korn and Paige had devised a plan that will stop Phoebe from hurting kittens again. Kat, the poor little sucker, was occupied with Phoebe. To Kit's surprise Kat isn't dead yet. Maybe Korn was right about Kat's hollow head. Anyway Paige has kept an eye on Phoebe and has warned her not to harm 'Kit-number-two.'

"Kick ass plan Paige"

"Well I try my best"

"Really brilliant plan Paige. I can't wait to put it into action" Kit says with the up most enthusiasm.

"Kit, Korn we're going to have to wait on the plan. It's best we come up with something on the mean time just for fun."

"And that would be" Korn questions moving behind Kit knowing very well what Paige is about to say.

"Um how 'bout getting Kat back," Paige suddenly sees the look on Korn face, the look that says 'do-you-really-want-me-kick-your-ass. Paige quickly tries to cover up.

"You know what's better you guys um making Phoebe look horrendous!"

"Do we really need to? I think she already is-"

"I like it," Korn says.

"Uh look majority rules"

"Ok"

Meanwhile back at Phoebe Land 'Kit-number-two' is being talk to death by the Pheobenator.

"I love Cole. He is really special."

"FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD STOP!!!!" Phoebe just thinks nothing of it because as far as she can tell 'Kit-number-two' is an ordinary cat that meows a lot.

Suddenly there's a knock on the door.

"Closed" Pheobenator shouts. Paige enters and then quickly retreats outside. Paige has been blinded by the Pheobenator. Apparently Phoebe was in the bent over position maybe she was expecting Cole.

"Phoebe it's Paige and by the way don't you mean 'open'."

"Open as in what?"

"As in the door is open you nitwit."

"Yes ... unless you have something tacky or shinny with you then I suggest you leave."

"Phoebe remember the last time I gave you something shinny?"

"No," Phoebe looks down and moves her left foot in an imaginary circle on the carpet.

"I think you do Phoebe. Remember how you kept bitching the entire day because you put the shinny metal object in the socket. It didn't feel good to be electrocuted did it?"

"It wasn't my fault."

"Ok calm down the last thing I need for you to do is throw a tantrum. I came here to see Kat"

"Who"

"Kit-number-two."

"Fine she's under my bed."

"Why is she.. Argh never mind" Paige looks under the bed to see a very frighten and very naked cat. Really naked as in no fur kind of naked. Yesh poor sucker.

"Phoebe what did you do to her!"

"I gave her a waxing job. Isn't she pretty!"

"That's it I'm taking here with me."

"No you can't do that. She's mine. I found her."

"I can and I will and don't think I will not bring Piper into this."

"No not Piper. She'll put me in the cage for time out."

"Well Phoebe I'll be leaving now say good bye to Kit-number-two."

"Bye-bye Kit-number-two"

"Good riddance" Kat says.

"Did she just talk?"

"No it was I Phoebe," Paige leaves and closes the door carrying the very naked Kat.

****

Morning in Halliwell manor the charmed ones are enjoying a breakfasts credits to Chef Piper.

"What is that smell" Piper asks.

"Oh that just Phoebe" Paige states.

"Hey!"

"It's true and you know it. Sicko!"

"Paige that is no way to talk to Phoebe let me show you the correct way." Piper turns to Phoebe and says "what are you waiting for? Take a freakin' shower already. You disgust me." Phoebe runs out and heads up the stairs to the shower.

"Oh Cool Piper you made Phoebe feel guilty for the first time!"

"Well Paige you always have to show who's boss!"

A/N: Crapola in a bowl. I know but hey it made me laugh!

Next Chapter:

Scissor Hands