"Sometimes irony is the only way to live, because without it, our lives
would be far too predictable."
Morgan Harris Grand Chancellor of the Majestic
"Cordelia! What are you doing?" Angel screamed as he fidgeted in the passenger seat.
"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm driving!" she hollered back.
"Do you not see the sun coming up?!"
"If you haven't noticed, we're in the middle of a deserted highway surrounded by dirt! Am I supposed to pull over so you can bury yourself in the sand?!" she shouted as she tightened her grip on the steering wheel.
"Um.we have some blankets in the trunk," Fred offered as she perked her head up from the back seat.
"Okay, Cordy, you have to pull over, like now," Angel said as he tried to hide his face under his coat.
"Angel, we have to get to Sunnydale, quick. I don't have time to pull over. For all I know, Tunekai could already be on his rampage. If it wasn't for that damn flat tire, we would be there already, why did you tell us you didn't know how to change a flat?"
"One: YOU were the one who decided it would be okay to drive over the glass, and two: What's Fred supposed to do? Climb out of the car while you're still driving? You're likely to run over her too!"
Fred quietly whispered, "Please, let's not."
Cordy sighed, "Okay, but just for a second."
She slammed the brakes on as she swerved to the right. Fred quickly hopped out and popped open the trunk, she retrieved the blankets and hurried back to the back seat. As soon as Fred closed the door, Cordelia jetted off again. By this time Angel was bordering on frantic, as the car slowly filled with smoke.
"Angel! Stop smoking! I can't see the road!" Cordy coughed.
"Well I'll be sure to apologize when you're sitting next to a big pile of dust!"
"Angel, sit in the back seat, it'll be easier to cover you," Fred ordered as she unfolded the blankets. Angel halfway stood up as he stepped on the armrest and collapsed in the back seat.
"Hurry! Hurry, cover me up!"
Fred threw several blankets covering Angel's entire body. She strattled the blankets that were covering him as she checked to make sure there were no exposed parts.
WHOO WHOO WHOO WHOO WHOO WHOO!
"Cordy, please don't tell me that sounds like what I think it sounds like." Angel said, with his voice slightly muffled by the blankets.
"Depends, what do you think it sounds like?" Cordy asked as Angel felt the car slow down.
"It's a cop car, isn't it?" Angel's voice filled with complete dread.
"Um, yeah," Cordy plopped her head down on the steering wheel.
A few awkward seconds passed before she heard a tap on the window. She lifted her head to see a cop with dark shakes on, and was staring in at her.
She immediately rolled it down, and in one instant; the cop noticed the large amount of smoke exiting through the open window. He removed his shades as he lowered his eyebrow and stared Cordy straight in the eyes.
"Oh! Oh! Um, see I know what this looks like, y'know with all the smoke, but it's not. No, nooo way, see we don't do pot." Cordy rambled.
"License and registration," the cop simply replied as he glanced in the backseat to find a young woman strattling a pile of blankets.
Cordy handed the cop a few pieces of paper that she retrieved from the glove compartment.
"I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the car, both of you," he said as he pointed his pen at Fred.
Cordy slowly opened the door as Fred climbed out of the backseat. Angel remained as quiet as possible, knowing he was unable to get out of the car.
"I'm going to have to take you two in," he said as he wrote some things on his clipboard.
"What? What, why?" Cordelia said, confused at what was going on.
"Suspected drug use, going ninety in a seventy-five mile an hour interstate and possible DUI."
"DUI? DUI?!" Cordy was now increasing the tone in her voice to anger.
"Oh! She's not drunk she's just always like that," Fred informed the officer.
Cordy nodded her head, "Yep, that's me. Hyper, hyper, hyper!" she said with a big smile.
He ignored their explanation, "And I'm guessing if I look under those blankets I'm likely to find some drugs."
Cordy turned and banged her head on the top of the car, with several loud THUDS'.
"Oh, no, those aren't drugs, that's our friend," Fred simply said.
"Fred!" Cordy sternly stated.
Fred's eyes weaved back and forth between the officer who was nearing closer to the backdoor and Cordy who looked more frustrated than ever.
Realizing her mistake, Fred approached the cop, "But! But, he can't come out, see, um, he's, uh, he's allergic."
The cop looked at Fred, "Allergic to what?"
Fred babbled, "He's uh, allergic to uh, t-"
"The sun!" Cordy piped in, "He's deathly allergic to the sun."
Fred vigorously nodded her head, "Yes, he can't come out, the sun'll kill him," she said proudly, maybe a little too proudly.
The officer grew skeptical, "Well, he can tell me that himself," He opened the backdoor and poked the lump with his nightstick.
"Ow!"
The cop jumped back.
"Yes, he's also very sore," Cordy explained.
"We're on our way to a dermatologist in Sunnydale, he said he could fix him," Fred chimed in.
The cop regained his composer and slowly lifted the blanket to reveal a demonic face that made the officer stumble back and trip on his own feet, causing him to fall on his bottom, hard.
"What the hell is that?!" he shouted, clearly freaked about what he just saw under the blanket.
"We told you, he has a skin problem," Fred said.
"You better get one hell of a dermatologist!"
"Well, we can't really do that if we're at a police station." Cordy trailed off.
The cop brushed himself off, "Go, just go. Get the hell out of here."
Cordy smiled widely as her and Fred hopped back in the car. Soon, they began to move again, and Cordy watched the cop in the rear view mirror, still dozed and confused. After a few minutes, he disappeared out of site.
"I take it that went well?" Angel asked form the backseat.
Fred and Cordy couldn't help but chuckle.
"Well, we'll be in Sunnydale in less than half an hour." Cordy informed.
Angel sighed, "Let's just hope Sunnydale's still there."
Morgan Harris Grand Chancellor of the Majestic
"Cordelia! What are you doing?" Angel screamed as he fidgeted in the passenger seat.
"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm driving!" she hollered back.
"Do you not see the sun coming up?!"
"If you haven't noticed, we're in the middle of a deserted highway surrounded by dirt! Am I supposed to pull over so you can bury yourself in the sand?!" she shouted as she tightened her grip on the steering wheel.
"Um.we have some blankets in the trunk," Fred offered as she perked her head up from the back seat.
"Okay, Cordy, you have to pull over, like now," Angel said as he tried to hide his face under his coat.
"Angel, we have to get to Sunnydale, quick. I don't have time to pull over. For all I know, Tunekai could already be on his rampage. If it wasn't for that damn flat tire, we would be there already, why did you tell us you didn't know how to change a flat?"
"One: YOU were the one who decided it would be okay to drive over the glass, and two: What's Fred supposed to do? Climb out of the car while you're still driving? You're likely to run over her too!"
Fred quietly whispered, "Please, let's not."
Cordy sighed, "Okay, but just for a second."
She slammed the brakes on as she swerved to the right. Fred quickly hopped out and popped open the trunk, she retrieved the blankets and hurried back to the back seat. As soon as Fred closed the door, Cordelia jetted off again. By this time Angel was bordering on frantic, as the car slowly filled with smoke.
"Angel! Stop smoking! I can't see the road!" Cordy coughed.
"Well I'll be sure to apologize when you're sitting next to a big pile of dust!"
"Angel, sit in the back seat, it'll be easier to cover you," Fred ordered as she unfolded the blankets. Angel halfway stood up as he stepped on the armrest and collapsed in the back seat.
"Hurry! Hurry, cover me up!"
Fred threw several blankets covering Angel's entire body. She strattled the blankets that were covering him as she checked to make sure there were no exposed parts.
WHOO WHOO WHOO WHOO WHOO WHOO!
"Cordy, please don't tell me that sounds like what I think it sounds like." Angel said, with his voice slightly muffled by the blankets.
"Depends, what do you think it sounds like?" Cordy asked as Angel felt the car slow down.
"It's a cop car, isn't it?" Angel's voice filled with complete dread.
"Um, yeah," Cordy plopped her head down on the steering wheel.
A few awkward seconds passed before she heard a tap on the window. She lifted her head to see a cop with dark shakes on, and was staring in at her.
She immediately rolled it down, and in one instant; the cop noticed the large amount of smoke exiting through the open window. He removed his shades as he lowered his eyebrow and stared Cordy straight in the eyes.
"Oh! Oh! Um, see I know what this looks like, y'know with all the smoke, but it's not. No, nooo way, see we don't do pot." Cordy rambled.
"License and registration," the cop simply replied as he glanced in the backseat to find a young woman strattling a pile of blankets.
Cordy handed the cop a few pieces of paper that she retrieved from the glove compartment.
"I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the car, both of you," he said as he pointed his pen at Fred.
Cordy slowly opened the door as Fred climbed out of the backseat. Angel remained as quiet as possible, knowing he was unable to get out of the car.
"I'm going to have to take you two in," he said as he wrote some things on his clipboard.
"What? What, why?" Cordelia said, confused at what was going on.
"Suspected drug use, going ninety in a seventy-five mile an hour interstate and possible DUI."
"DUI? DUI?!" Cordy was now increasing the tone in her voice to anger.
"Oh! She's not drunk she's just always like that," Fred informed the officer.
Cordy nodded her head, "Yep, that's me. Hyper, hyper, hyper!" she said with a big smile.
He ignored their explanation, "And I'm guessing if I look under those blankets I'm likely to find some drugs."
Cordy turned and banged her head on the top of the car, with several loud THUDS'.
"Oh, no, those aren't drugs, that's our friend," Fred simply said.
"Fred!" Cordy sternly stated.
Fred's eyes weaved back and forth between the officer who was nearing closer to the backdoor and Cordy who looked more frustrated than ever.
Realizing her mistake, Fred approached the cop, "But! But, he can't come out, see, um, he's, uh, he's allergic."
The cop looked at Fred, "Allergic to what?"
Fred babbled, "He's uh, allergic to uh, t-"
"The sun!" Cordy piped in, "He's deathly allergic to the sun."
Fred vigorously nodded her head, "Yes, he can't come out, the sun'll kill him," she said proudly, maybe a little too proudly.
The officer grew skeptical, "Well, he can tell me that himself," He opened the backdoor and poked the lump with his nightstick.
"Ow!"
The cop jumped back.
"Yes, he's also very sore," Cordy explained.
"We're on our way to a dermatologist in Sunnydale, he said he could fix him," Fred chimed in.
The cop regained his composer and slowly lifted the blanket to reveal a demonic face that made the officer stumble back and trip on his own feet, causing him to fall on his bottom, hard.
"What the hell is that?!" he shouted, clearly freaked about what he just saw under the blanket.
"We told you, he has a skin problem," Fred said.
"You better get one hell of a dermatologist!"
"Well, we can't really do that if we're at a police station." Cordy trailed off.
The cop brushed himself off, "Go, just go. Get the hell out of here."
Cordy smiled widely as her and Fred hopped back in the car. Soon, they began to move again, and Cordy watched the cop in the rear view mirror, still dozed and confused. After a few minutes, he disappeared out of site.
"I take it that went well?" Angel asked form the backseat.
Fred and Cordy couldn't help but chuckle.
"Well, we'll be in Sunnydale in less than half an hour." Cordy informed.
Angel sighed, "Let's just hope Sunnydale's still there."