Hello? H-E-L-L-O, it's alive! You know, like the Jell-O commercial. Well I'm back to writing on a regular basis now. If you have any questions, comments, or just want to strangle me through the computer for writing such garbage as this, the little review button COULD help. Or you might just e-mail me. Hey, I get lonely out here with nothing but the buzzards to keep me company.

It had been days since they had joined the fellowship. They had only wanted to join in a secret quest, not go for long periods of time without food.

"Bobby!" wailed Jenny "I'm hungry!"

"Well what do I look like? A walking market?" Bobby, too, was hungry. And sick of this stupid forest, and tired, and cold.

"I'm telling Kiki!" she threatened.

"Go ahead, she'll just send you back." Bobby actually WANTED to go back to Rivendell, but he was too much of a macho man to admit it. He watched Jenny scurry through the spare trees the two of them used to separate themselves from the fellowship, and Kiki.

"Kiki! I'm hungry!" whined Jenny as she wandered into the camp. All action stopped as the little girl came up.

"OI. Legolas! Aren't you supposed to be watching for intruders?" Said an angry Kiki. "It's too late to send them back now, you fool! You're an elf, for crying out loud! *You* have better hearing, *you* have better vision, or so you brag. You should have caught them!"

"Them? There's more than one of her?" Said Boromir. He'd been working up to Kiki, and now he wasn't afraid of her just mad.

"Where ever you find Jenny you'll find Bobby. BOBBY!" She yelled looking for her little brother. Boromir flinched a little as she screamed for her sibling, and Legolas ran to comfort him. Bobby charged Kiki, and wrapped his arms around her.

"Kiki! Food! Kiki! Food!" Was all he could say. Afterwards, he would deny the whole thing, but now all he was, was hungry. Kiki braced herself when she heard the first rush of leaves stirred by Bobby's passing and hadn't gone down when any of the others would have hit the floor. Bobby's hair was a mess. Leaves; dead, living, and in between, littered the camp as he collided with his sister. Jenny had tried to stop and get some of the dirt off her skin, but the fellowship had moved too fast, and there had been no time. The two children looked like pail mudballs, rolled in leaves and dipped in a good coat of bark. Kiki pried Bobby off her just long enough to see he was dirtier than Gimli (who she had made take a bath several days ago), and fairly pushed both of the children into the hot springs near the camp.

"Play nice, you two, and you'll get an extra helping at dinner!" Kiki called over her shoulder, as the kids argued over whom had to take the first bath. In the end, Bobby walked out into the clearing. Kiki looked at him, and inspected his hands. He had washed the clothes, too, at the spring, but they were growing quite cold. Kiki waltzed over to Gimli (and waltz it could be called. Have YOU ever tried to walk normally through a mob of nine men, lazing about and talking cause they didn't have to do the cooking? Not fun.) and asked him about a pair of clothes that might fit Bobby. After a good bit of arguing, Gimli produced a good set of sturdy pants and a shirt much like the one he had on. Kiki gave them to Bobby, and a towel that she herself had brought along, and sent him out to change. Now to dig up clothes for Jenny. Little Frodo had clothes small enough for Jenny and gladly lent them to her. Jenny got a towel, too. Again from Kiki's stock of 'good imitation parent' jar (if there is such a thing). Seeing the two cleaned up, Kiki gave each a hardy helping of stew, thick with carrots and potatoes and venison, thanks to Legolas. Aragorn stated that he'd take first watch, and everyone else signed up for an order. Nothing eventful happened during the night, and in the morning they all got up and started walking. Slowly the trees started melting into barren rocky hills. Days went by and still nothing happened. Kiki began to wonder if the dreadful birds would ever come. One day they came to a stop on a (rocky) hill dotted here and there with bushes. Immediately, Kiki recognized it as the spot where the birds came in, and stowed everyone's gear in a bush farther along. And a few hours away, lit a fire. When she returned, she saw Boromir getting tackled by hobbits, and the Crebain.

"Hide." She said in a dull tone, no one listened.

"Crebain, from Dunland." She recited in a singsong tone. Legolas repeated it, to Kiki's annoyance.

"DUH, YOU THINK?" She fairly screamed, remembering at the last moment to keep her voice down. As the evil birds flew over head, Kiki saw the smoke from the fire she had made. 'Good,' she thought 'now, chase the smoke like a good little birdie.' She urged with her mind. The Crebain DID chase the smoke, wandering away from the group.

"Now the truth comes out!" exclaimed Boromir, still mad at (and a little afraid of) Kiki. "Our mighty leader doesn't know squat!" He pointed at Kiki.

"Well, if I don't know squat then how did I know to lay a false fire hours away from here? Or to stow our gear under some bushes? Answer me, smart one!" The last part, she yelled. Boromir, trying to be brave, stood up to her.

"You're in league with them!? You are, are you not? You led them here, that's why…" Kiki cut him off sharply

"You fear what you do not understand! I have heard most dreadful things about mother's first husband, so what makes you think I'd like to be with him."

"You're related?" All the color drained out of his face and he looked near to fainting.

"Yup. But only distantly, thank the gods. Mom told me all about that power hogging freak, and told me not to date anything that loves power. She told me to date a horse before dating anything that loved power."

"Date?" asked Aragorn.

"Um, the term used back in Arizona for wooing." Kiki realized that even though they were older than she was, they were still quite stupid when it came to modern terms. Gandalf gave a snort in the back.

"It's more like the courting that you have to go through to find a bride. But in this instance the woman has much more 'nay-say' than a normal woman does. In fact, to go by those rules, a woman could propose, or accept proposal, without her father's or mother's consent." He said to clear the matter up with the rest of the boys.

"Did that make any sense to you?" asked Kiki to her little sister

"Nope." Said Jenny at the same time Bobby said

"Of course!"

"AHH, I've got it now. Guy-talk!" Kiki exclaimed to Jenny.

"Precisely. Your 'girl-talk'," Gandalf did the little quotation fingers around girl-talk, "were confusing the boys, so I cleared it up for them." He spoke as if stating the obvious.

The rest of the night continued uneventfully, although a little cold. (They still weren't allowed to make a fire.)

Hope you liked that! Next chapter; Caradhras. How far do Kiki's maternal skills go? Find out next time on ONE TIME WARRIOR OF A DARKER FEAR! *little radio click*

So, yeah, the title sucks. I want to change it, but I don't have any ideas, do you? If you do, they would be greatly apprecatied. ~I really don't care weather you review them or e-mail them, just so long as they get in. This stupid title needs to change.~ I'll remember to tell you at least three chapters a head of time. Untill then, Goodbye! *turns you over to your sign on screen.*