Balamb Garden's Yuletide Vacation
Chapter Two
Saturday, December the Second
Early the next morning, Zell was piloting the Ragnarok to the cold, windy climes of Trabia. Nicole sat at his side, supposedly serving as his co-pilot, but in reality she was there as more of an anchor to reality for him.
The rest of our heroes, plus Quistis' boyfriend Matt and a few tagalong members of various subcommittees were gathered in the passenger lounge, which was the compartment adjacent to Zell and Nicole. They were all boisterously belting out holiday songs that were being blasted over the intercom into the cockpit, much to Zell's dismay because he absolutely hated off key singing.
Everyone present was joyously singing...except for Squall. The commander was sitting in the corner with his lips drawn tightly shut in a straight line in silent protest. He was intensely scowling at everyone present, rolling his eyes and sighing loudly through his flared nostrils.
Selphie, who was leading the singing, couldn't help but notice Squall's ill humor. She was the type of person who couldn't stand to see someone not having fun, especially during something she took the time to organize. In an attempt to help him out of his shell, Selphie decided to point out his behavior to everyone. "Hey, Squall!" she shouted out over the din of their off key caterwauling. "Come on, get with the program. Can't you hear? We desperately need your help."
Naturally everyone turned to stare where he was huddled in the corner of the lounge. Squall flushed bright crimson and in an attempt to save some semblance of pride blurted out, "Can you tell me again why I was forced to loan you my Ragnarok and waste a perfectly good Saturday to fly to a frozen wasteland?" Any of the singers who hadn't stopped already suddenly fell silent in disbelief. It was rare for Squall to put together more than a few syllables in a day.
Undaunted, Selphie explained, "Why, to bring back to Garden that most important of holiday symbols, of course!"
"We are wasting expensive fuel that Garden so generously supplies just so you can buy one of those Trabian fruitcakes?" Squall asked sarcastically. The entire group began to laugh, which only made Squall even angrier.
"Oh don't be silly!" replied Selphie as she picked up a basket that had been sitting at her feet. "I have one of those right here!" She began to hand out pieces of plastic wrapped fruitcake to everyone as she explained, "We are on a search for the Balamb Garden Winterfest Tree!" And with that Selphie took a hunk of the confection she was passing out and tossed it playfully at Squall.
Unfortunately, the commander had chosen just that moment to place his forehead in his hand as he always did when frustrated. There is no way to gently throw a Trabian fruitcake, even a small piece, and the petrified dessert landed directly on the top of his head with a sickening thwud. Thanks to the fact that Squall's skull was incredibly thick, no damage was done, except to his pride.
He stared at the fruitcake, which had landed in his lap, and opened his mouth to speak. Then, apparently thinking better of whatever he was going to say, Squall instead stood up, glowered at Selphie and stalked from the compartment amidst the amused giggling of his comrades.
Rinoa immediately burst into tears and the laughter stopped entirely.
"Oh, what's wrong, Sweets?" Quistis asked as she knelt beside the crying woman. Her concern was genuine. Quistis was always dismayed at the sight of a woman crying over a man, particularly as one as hardheaded and misanthropic as Squall.
"Squall's...just been...so grouchy...lately," Rinoa recounted between sobs. "And I think it's because he doesn't love me anymore." She emitted a loud hiccup and began to wail… a sound somewhere between the yowling of a cat in heat and a police siren.
Selphie immediately knelt down by Rinoa and offered a hug. "Don't be silly, Rinoa. Of course he still loves you. He's just being...Squall," she explained.
"Well, you know what they say," Matt interjected, trying to be helpful. "There's plenty more fish in the sea. Just throw him back and look for another one."
"But… but…" Rinoa argued, " I thought he'd changed!"
Matt smiled and shook his head patiently. "A tiger never changes his stripes," he informed Rinoa in his most caring of voices. No one knew what to say to that and Rinoa began to bleat and hiccup all the louder.
Quistis glared at her boyfriend. What do I see in him? she wondered, angry at his insensitivity. "Matt, I want you to go check with Zell and see how much longer it will be until we get to Trabia."
When he began to protest, Quistis commanded, "Now!" Turning pale, Matt hurried from the passenger cabin without even a backward glance. I am definitely going to have to do something about this Matt problem, Quistis decided.
Irvine broached his opinion. He was hoping to impress Selphie with his erudition and insight into the situation. "Rinoa, it's not your fault," the longhaired cowboy said. "Squall has always been like this at this time of year. It's because he and Ellone were dumped off at the orphanage on Solstice Eve and then later Ellone disappeared just before the holidays also."
"There you see, Rinoa," Quistis agreed. "It's not your fault at all. Now, here, dry your eyes and let's see that smiling Rinoa face of yours." She handed the ebony-haired woman her handkerchief.
"Thank you," Rinoa murmured, while blowing her nose hard several times into Quistis' hanky. The sound, much like that of a moose giving birth, reverberated off the cabin walls. When the young sorceress offered to return the handkerchief, Quistis suggested to Rinoa that she keep it, for Quistis, being the type of woman to only use cloth hankies rather than the cheap paper type, had plenty more where that came from.
"I've got a great idea!" Selphie exclaimed in her usual exuberant manner. "Why don't we invite Ellone and Sir Laguna for the holidays? That's bound to cheer Squall up."
"That might work," Rinoa agreed in a weak voice. She offered a tired smile to the group.
Quistis kept her skepticism to herself. I don't think anything is going to pull Squall out of his funk outside of a holiday miracle, she thought.
~*~
Selphie was in the lead of the entire crew as they tromped across the Bika Snowfield (although Bika Snowdrifts would have described it more accurately). Even though it was the heat of the day in the early afternoon, there were sub-zero temperatures and almost blizzard like conditions as the prevailing strong winds was blowing the light snow at near gale force speed.
"Okay!" Selphie exclaimed, in between gusts of snow blowing into her open mouth. "Isn't this fun?"
"No, it isn't," Squall surly answered.
No, it is definitely not fun, Quistis echoed in her mind.
"This is a damn blizzard," Squall elaborated his complaints. "And every time we go into a forest to look for a tree, we get attacked by a Blue Dragon and you all run off and leave it to me to deal with. And on top of that I'm freezing to death."
"Oh, pshaw," Selphie riposted.
Pshaw? Quistis thought. What planet is this girl from?
"Well, we're having a good time, aren't we Rinoa?" asked the exuberant young woman.
Rinoa declined to answer since it was taking all her strength to continue trudging forward in the high winds and yet keep her outfit from blowing away off her body. Oh why didn't I wear a winter coat? After all it is December.
Quistis glanced at Matt and observed for once he appeared incapable of an inane remark, since he too seemed to be too cold to talk. The clicking of Squall's chattering teeth became even more pronounced as they walked further. Irvine suggested, "Why don't we try that large forest over there? Maybe we'll have better luck."
"Good idea," praised Selphie and she quickly led the forlorn, bedraggled group into the new forest. They did experience a change of fortune as Irvine had hoped, because at least a Blue Dragon didn't attack them this time. It was a good thing too because Squall was finally too frozen to assist in any fighting.
The group as a whole became rather edgy since every tree pointed out was found fault with by Selphie. Practically everyone in the group excepting Squall had found a tree completely acceptable, although the group leader thought it didn't have the right shape or wasn't grand enough or wasn't tall enough.
Finally Quistis spoke in complaint as only she, Irvine, and Selphie had retained the power of speech. In fact, Zell's bare legs had turned blue from the cold and Squall actually had a thin layer of ice over his eyes and was, in effect, blind at the moment. "Selphie, since you don't like anyone else's choice, why don't you pick one out?" the instructor asked.
"Okay, I will," Selphie replied accepting the challenge and taking no offense.
After a few minutes of careful perusing, she pointed to a tree that was at least thirty-five feet in height. "There," Selphie declared. "I want that one."
"Selphie," Irvine complained, "That is just way too big."
"Too big for what – the Ragnarok or the Garden with it's sixty foot ceilings?" she asked sarcastically.
"Well, how are we supposed to cut it down?" the young cowboy asked plaintively.
"With a saw, of course."
Zell suddenly made a noise that sounded like a cross between a gulp and a burp.
Turning to him, Selphie inquired pointedly, "You did remember to bring the saw, didn't you?"
"Uh...uh..." Zell stammered as much from his forgetting the saw as he did from the freezing temperature.
"OH SUPER-DUPER-MEGA-BUMMER!" the self-appointed group leader exclaimed. "How could you forget the saw?" she accused, pointing at Zell with a hand on her hip.
Matt finally located his tongue to advise, "No use crying over spilt milk."
Nicole automatically stepped in front of Zell to protect him from further assault or insult.
"What are we gonna do?" Selphie whined in an unpleasant drone that resembled a buzz saw.
Rinoa finally had enough. Not only was she so frozen she thought her bones were going to shatter from brittleness, but now to have to deal with Selphie's extremely unpleasant whining was just too much.
"Everyone, stand back," she commanded in her stern sorceress tone.
Everyone jumped back in due haste since they realized Rinoa was capable of anything once she allowed herself to become submerged in her sorceress role. The young sorceress suddenly summoned Tonberry. The very small, almost tiny in comparison, GF waddled across the forest floor to the base of the tree. Just before the GF struck it with the chef's knife, the tree began to sweat profusely in fear. BOINK! The tree came crashing down.
Unfortunately Rinoa hadn't allowed for the wind and other factors when she released Tonberry and the huge tree came crashing down directly towards the party! Seconds before the tree landed on them, the group dashed out of the way – all save Squall, who was frozen to his spot.
"Squall!" Rinoa screamed. At the last possible ten thousandth of a second she raced to him and knocked him out of the tree's path.
"Booyaka!" Selphie cheered.
The loading of the extra large tree was anticlimactic after that and the Ragnarok headed back to Garden.
~*~
"And cut that one over there," Selphie directed.
Irvine and Zell were busy trimming the excess branches from the tree under the less than expert supervision of Selphie and Rinoa. And on a tree that large there were a lot of excess branches. Irvine was already breathing through his mouth hard and only his pride had prevented him from complaining at the pace that was being dictated to him by his girlfriend and only Zell's excellent physical condition had spared him. Quistis had already led the totally frozen Squall to his office to thaw him out.
"And cut those two over there and then get that other one," Selphie declared. "And get those three over there too," Rinoa chimed in. And so it went for at least another half an hour, until the corridor outside of the grand ballroom resembled a veritable Black Forest, because it was knee deep in trimmings and still the tree was so large it didn't appear to be missing a twig.
"Hey, Sefie," Irvine broached in an attempt to escape further torture at the hands of the two young women. "Have you given any thought to what kind of container we're gonna keep the tree in?"
"How about a twenty gallon pail?" Zell quickly suggested.
"That's a good idea," Selphie praised.
Before Irvine could speak further, Zell volunteered, "I'll go get one."
Damn! It was my idea, Irvine thought bitterly. And to make matters worse, Zell flashed him a big grin before leaving. "Okay for you, hotdog boy!" Irvine cried after him. "I'll get you back for this."
"And bring back some rope to tie the tree up," Selphie shouted to him.
"No prob!" Zell answered as he scurried down the hallway.
"Irvine, pay attention!" his girlfriend admonished. "Rinoa just told you to get those two branches over there."
Squall walked up the corridor. "Squall, are you feeling better?" Rinoa asked in a compassionate tone.
The cold man, in more ways than one, just glared at her in answer as he blamed her entirely for his almost freezing to death. Instead he responded sarcastically, "Well, wonderful tree, Selphie. Where in the world are you ever going to put a tree that huge?"
"Bend over Squall, and I'll show you," Selphie suggested.
Squall flushed dark crimson in anger and Rinoa's giggling appeared to make the commander even angrier, if that was possible. He turned on his heel and stalked away.
"Oh, Selphie, you're so baaaaad!" Rinoa giggled.
"Heh, heh! He deserved it."
After Zell arrived back with the huge bucket and rope, Selphie ordered the two lads to tie some of the rope to the tree in order to move it into the ballroom. The tree was so large that it had taken around twenty SeeDs and upperclassmen to carry it from the Ragnarok to where it now sat.
After trussing up the tree, a long period of time passed with pulling and tugging and perspiring and deep breathing and cursing. Finally Zell dropped his end of the rope, straightened up and said, "It's no use. It's just too wide for the doors."
Zell was correct. Even though there were double doors that opened out that led to the ballroom, the tree was just too large to fit. "Well, what are we gonna do?" Selphie whined. "It won't do any good to trim anymore. We couldn't possibly cut enough of it off, because it would lose its beautiful shape."
Wincing as he spoke because he was absolutely hating what he was going to suggest, Irvine broached, "We'll just have to go get another tree."
Amid the groaning of Zell and Rinoa, Selphie exclaimed, "No way, Jose! We're using this tree."
"Who?" Rinoa asked, confusion crossing her pretty features. "Who's Jose?" she asked innocently.
When Zell and Irvine burst out laughing, Rinoa's countenance flashed darkly at the thought she was being mocked. Selphie hurried to repair the situation by saying, "Oh, that's just a very little known expression, Rinoa. Isn't that right, boys?" she asked pointedly, while arching her eyebrows at Zell and Irvine.
Irvine picked up on the nonverbal communication and replied, "That's right, Rinoa. In fact, that's only the second time I've ever heard it in my life."
The dark-haired woman smiled sweetly. "Oh, that's different," she said.
Selphie made an executive decision and ordered Zell to go and obtain a sledgehammer. A few minutes later, Zell and Irvine along with some newly recruited upperclassmen dragged the huge tree through the recently renovated grand ballroom double doors.
Looking at the partially destroyed wall, Zell declared, "Oh man, Selphie. I don't think Cid is going to like this."
"Oh, who cares? It'll give maintenance something to do, but they better wait until after the holidays if they don't want a tree permanently in the center of the ballroom," Selphie answered. "Now everyone tie some rope onto this tree and let's get it hoisted up, and make certain it's tied tightly."
A few minutes later it became quite obvious that Selphie's estimate of the height of the grand ballroom was greatly exaggerated as the entire top part of the huge tree was squashed against the ceiling.
"This tree is just too damn big, Selphie," Zell complained.
"It looks beautiful, Zell," Selphie retorted. "What are you talking about?"
One of the ropes suddenly became unraveled and the huge tree began to topple over. Everyone moved in the direction of making himself or herself scarce when the tree landed, except for Rinoa who grabbed on to the now loose rope in hopes of holding the tree upright. As the tree lunged against the other better tied strictures, it suddenly halted in its downward trend throwing Rinoa, who was still holding her rope tightly, up in the air and then whip lashing her through one of the plate glass windows.
Everyone stood in shocked silence for a split second and then Selphie screamed, "Oh Zell! You've killed Rinoa!"
Irvine loped over to the broken out window and looked down and observed the by now familiar sight of Rinoa hanging from the side of the Garden. "Rinoa, hang on! We'll go get Squall."
Hang on, she thought sardonically. What else am I gonna do?
After being alerted by a hysterical Zell, Squall trudged into the ballroom. Taking one long look at the now partially toppled tree, he snorted and then continued over to the broken window.
"Rinoa, what are you doing?" he asked resignedly.
"Oh, just hanging around." She smiled winsomely up at him.
Very funny, Squall thought. "Here," he said, while holding his long gunblade down to her. "Grab on to that and I'll pull you up."
"Don't accidentally pull the trigger," Rinoa giggled.
Don't tempt me, he thought.
Once Rinoa had again achieved standing on the ballroom floor, the group erupted in cheers and Rinoa threw herself in a hug onto the totally mannequin-like Squall. "Oh, thank you so much," she cooed. "You saved me again."
Squall removed her hands from him and said, "Rinoa, you and I both realize you could have Angel Winged and saved yourself. Now, don't bother me again. I'm attempting to get this backlog of paperwork taken care of."
Squall stalked from the ballroom now completely silent except for the sound of Rinoa breaking into a new round of sobbing. Selphie tried to offer Rinoa some comfort. "Aw, Rinny, don't cry. It'll be okay."
A short while later, the ballroom stood completely empty of people except for Zell and his girlfriend. The tree now stood secure in its mooring and was awaiting further decorations. Zell sat slumped on the floor while Nicole was leaning over him, her hand resting on his shoulder.
"I almost killed Rinoa," he wailed.
"No, you didn't. It wasn't your fault. It could have happened to anyone." Nicole did her best to make Zell feel better. She knew her boyfriend had a real problem dealing with guilt.
"I almost killed Rinoa," Zell insisted stubbornly.
"But you didn't, that's the important thing. Squall saved her," Nicole said.
"I made Squall and Rinoa argue with each other," he declared, beginning a new track of whining.
"Zell, they were already arguing with each other. You had nothing to do with that," his girlfriend explained.
"I almost killed Rinoa."
"Oh, Zell," Nicole sighed.