Disclaimer: Square owns the game and it's characters. The song "It's Not Easy Being Green" is owned by Kermit the Frog, or whoever wrote it for the cute little guy. The weird lines were written by W. Shakespeare.
Balamb Garden's Yuletide Vacation
Chapter Four
Monday, December the Fourth
On early Monday morning, Squall was busy as usual at his desk. He was in a particular hurry this morning, because he wanted to get a considerable amount of his desk cleared of paperwork before he was to report to morning staff meeting at 0900 hours. Consequently, he was more than a little put out when a knock came upon his door at that early hour, but when he arose at his customary time at 0530 he had vowed to keep a more positive frame of mind during the upcoming day.
"Who is it?" he answered in a neutral tone.
"It's me – Rinoa."
Oh Hyne, what's she doing up so early? Well, this will be a good test for me, the commander thought. "Come in, the door's open."
Rinoa bounced into his office and despite the early hour she looked as chipper as ever, maybe even more so. "Good morning, dear," she gushed, a broad smile enveloping her features.
You know if her smile got any bigger, she would look just like a giant chipmunk, the normally taciturn man thought. Suddenly visualizing Rinoa as a giant chipmunk, but still wearing her outfit and having long black hair brought a smile to the commander's usually tight lips.
"It's so good to see you smiling again," said the cheerful sorceress. "So what's-."
"Rinoa, excuse me, I need to say something," Squall interrupted. "I just want to apologize for the way I've been acting the last few days. I hope you realize that it has nothing to do with you. It's just the pressure of this job and I really don't care for the holidays much, but I just wanted you to know that I didn't mean any of the things I might have said to you."
Hurrying to where he was sitting she leaned down and pulled Squall into a large embrace. "Of course I knew you didn't mean it," she cooed, "But it is still good to hear you say you didn't. I love you so-."
It was here that disaster struck. Rinoa happened to gaze at the trashcan where her holiday wreath still rested. "Ah-oooh-eee!" Rinoa screamed. It was a sound similar to one a dolphin might make if it witnessed a tragic accident and the vibrations from the screech shattered the glass atop his desk.
Squall realized immediately that Rinoa had seen the wreath. Oh crap! I told them to make sure and empty my wastebasket. Squall made a feeble attempt to calm the young sorceress. "Now Rinny, don't be upset. I told you the other day I wasn't going to hang that on my door."
The commander recognized that it was a case of too little too late as the furious young woman had already Angel Winged and was floating near the ceiling of his office. Squall quickly picked up the phone and dialed the number for the intercom connection. "Angel Alert team to Commander Leonhart's office," he ordered. "I repeat, Angel Alert team to Commander Leonhart's office! On the double!"
"Oof!" Squall was struck by a random magic spell hurtling down from his girlfriend. It felt especially cold and nasty to him and when he glanced down at himself, he discovered he was green. "Damn it! She hit me with zombie," he said aloud.
The commander had no reflect magic with him. In fact he wasn't junctioned for magic at all since he was just expecting light office duty this early in the morning. Squall only junctioned GFs when he was to leave the Garden since he'd decided he didn't like sharing his consciousness twenty-four hours a day. He spent the rest of the time until the Angel Alert team arrived dodging Rinoa's spells since if she managed to hit him with any kind of curative magic it could possibly kill him.
The door burst open and three young well-conditioned male SeeDs entered carrying a large round trampoline. Following closely behind was Dr. Kadowaki. They set the trampoline on the floor directly beneath the young sorceress and began to jump on it until one of them was driven high enough to grasp Rinoa by the waist and bring her down to the floor. The doctor immediately hit her with a shot of sedative. It was then that the SeeDs and Doctor Kadowaki realized the Squall was not chanting as they originally had thought, but was singing, slightly off key, the following song:
It's not that easy being green;
Having to spend each day the color of the leaves.
When I think it could be nicer being red, or yellow or gold.
Or something much more colorful like that.
It's not easy being green.
It seems you blend in with so many other ord'nary things.
And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're
Not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water
Or stars in the sky.
But green's the color of spring.
And green can be cool and friendly-like.
And green can be big like an ocean, or important like a mountainOr tall like a tree.
When green is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why?
Wonder, I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful!
And I think it's what I want to be.
~*~
Selphie had already arisen for the day despite the early hour when a knock came on her door. "Who is it?" she called out, surprised that anyone would be knocking at her chamber door that early.
"It's me – Irvine," quoted the longhaired cowboy.
"Go away and don't darken my door – nevermore," was her answer.
"Oh come on Sefie," Irvine pleaded. "It was all a terrible mistake."
"Yeah right, Irvine," Selphie replied sarcastically. "And the mistake was me ever having anything to do with you in the first place."
"Selphie, your Irvy got you a present. Something you will really like."
Curiosity and a certain amount of greed overrode the young SeeD's better judgment and she opened the door. "Now, that's better," declared her would-be amour. "Here," Irvine said as he handed her a bouquet of yellow roses from behind his back.
"Oh Irvy!" the delighted young SeeD squealed. "My favorite!"
She snatched the flowers from his hand and a card fell out on to the floor. Selphie bent down and picked it up to read aloud, "To Sophia, with all my love, your secret admirer."
"Irvine!" Selphie screeched, as she lifted the bouquet of roses far above her head and then began crashing them down at Irvine repeatedly, petals and leaves flying like soiled snow around them.
"Ow! Hold on, Selphie! There must be some mistake!"
"I'll say! And you made it!" Selphie shouted. "You got your wires crossed and sent your flowers to the wrong people. Who's Sophia? That hussy salesclerk from Frederick's?"
All the while Selphie continued to slam the longhaired cowboy with the flowers. Most of the petals had already fallen away to the floor. Irvine was attempting to protect himself by throwing his arms up around his head.
"Ow Selphie! You're scratching me with the thorns!" he complained.
"Well! I'd have to say that that was the idea," she declared. "Now be gone from my room!"
"Not until you listen to me," Irvine insisted. "The florist must have made a mistake."
Recognizing that battering him was not going to turn the trick, Selphie dropped the now totally ruined flowers at her feet and pushed Irvine out into the hallway. A second later the door was slammed in his face.
He wondered who Sophia was and if there were any way to find out. Might as well not waste the opportunity since I sent her roses, he mused. Then Irvine shook his head as a moment of sense cleared his mind. What am I saying? I love Selphie! He wandered off to his room thinking of ways to win Selphie back.
When Selphie was sure that Irvine had gone she went for a walk to relax. Staying in her room would only lead to negative thinking and she couldn't afford to do that if she was going to succeed in making this the best holiday season in the history of SeeD. Deciding to find Rinoa to discuss some ideas she had for decorating, Selphie went off in search of the young sorceress.
Selphie was waylaid a few times as she was told of the newest gossip. When she heard news of Rinoa acting strangely, Selphie ran as fast as she could to the library, which was the last place her friend had been sighted.
As soon as Selphie raced into the library, Nicole, who was on duty, exclaimed, "Oh, thank Hyne you're here! Rinoa's in the back room causing a disturbance and I can't seem to calm her down." The pretty librarian was tugging on her pigtail fretfully.
Selphie assured her she would try to help and hurried into the next room where she was shocked and also very embarrassed for Rinoa for the sorceress was dressed only in a white gown and was standing on one of the tables apparently pontificating to a small group of upperclassmen and SeeDs.
Rinoa declared, "How should I your true-love know from another one? By his cockle hat and staff and his sandal shoon."
What in the heck is she talking about? Selphie wondered. "Rinoa! Rinoa, let me help you down from there," Selphie suggested while forcing herself through the group to the edge of the table.
For a second the ebony-haired woman appeared to recognize her friend as she reached down for her with her hand, but then her eyes glazed over again. "Be cautious of typhoons, hurricanes, clouds, and squalls or they will hinder you," Rinoa intoned.
"Rinoa, come with me," Selphie directed. She grasped the young sorceress by the hand tightly and led her down from the table to the floor by first having her step onto a chair. "Okay, show's over," she cynically explained to the group of gawkers as she led Rinoa from the room and then the library in its entirety.
Unfortunately the further Selphie led the ebony-haired woman away from the library, the more she was forced to drag her as Rinoa was beginning to resist more and more. By the time the pair had reached the main atrium, Rinoa had broken away entirely and literally flung herself into the fountain.
"Larded all with sweet flowers; which bewept to the grave did not go with true-love showers," the young sorceress sang as she floundered in the shallow water.
Selphie became frightened of Rinoa's very life at this point because she appeared so out of control and was very relieved when Nicole came running up. She had trailed the pair from the library in order to lend assistance if the situation arose.
"What's going on, Selphie?" Nicole asked in a slightly hysterical tone.
"We have to get her out of the fountain immediately before she hurts herself," Selphie said. "Here, hold my left hand." She leaned far over the wall in an attempt to reach the splashing sorceress. She was fortunate enough to be able to grasp Rinoa by the arm and once she had her she was determined to not let her go no matter how she struggled.
At that point Rinoa was led willing from the fountain. Maybe her adrenaline is wearing off, Selphie hoped. "Help me get her down to her room," Selphie suggested.
On the way to her room, Rinoa remained in a trance-like stupor, which Selphie was extremely grateful for. It afforded her the opportunity to contact the doctor via her cell phone. Doctor Kadowaki assured the energetic SeeD that she would meet them in Rinoa's room as soon as possible.
Once they reached the young sorceress' room, Selphie was able to lay Rinoa down on her bed. She felt uncomfortable with removing her friend's clothes even though they were soaked through so she compromised with wrapping her in a layer of blankets, as Rinoa appeared to be shivering slightly.
As soon the doctor entered Rinoa's room with two of her nurses, Selphie and Nicole discreetly departed but not before informing the medical staff they would wait out in the hall. While Selphie and Nicole waited impatiently outside their friend's dorm room, Quistis, and Zell soon joined them.
"Did you all hear what happened when Rinoa found the wreath she gave Squall to hang on his door in the trash can?" Selphie asked the rest of the group.
"No, what happened?" asked Zell, munching on a granola bar.
"She started Angel Winging and it took the Angel Alert team to get her down, but she still managed to hit Squall with zombie," the brown haired SeeD explained. "But that isn't the half of it," Selphie continued. "Rinoa had been wandering the halls since then dressed only in a white gown when I found her. And if you try to talk to her she only mutters things about typhoons, clouds, hurricanes, and squalls when she's not speaking in some weird accent."
"We had to stop her from drowning herself in the fountain," Nicole added in a sorrowful voice.
"Oh no!" Quistis gasped while holding her right hand up to her mouth. "I can't believe Squall let things get this bad between them!"
"And what's worse," noted Selphie, "is that no one seems to have the antidote for zombie anywhere!"
"Not even magical?" asked Nicole. "I mean... I know there is a major Holy Water shortage and all…"
Selphie shook her head. "There was something different about Rinoa's spells this time," she explained, "they can't be cured with magic!"
"Man, that sucks," muttered Zell. "As if Squall hasn't been miserable enough."
"Yes," agreed Quistis, "and according to the text books it may take a week for Squall to go back to normal."
"Hey, look at the time!" Zell said suddenly, "I need to get back to my fighting group." Since the war, Zell had been acting as a tutor for Martial Arts students as a way to make extra money when he wasn't on a mission. It could also help him get his instructor's license should he choose to pursue the idea.
"Yeah, I have to get back to my class, too," said Quistis. " Tomorrow I'm going to look up Xu and see if we can help Rinoa."
"Great! Let me know if there's anything I can do to help," replied Selphie. "Nicole and I are gonna stay here until we can see Rinny."
The group said their goodbyes and Zell and Quistis went back to their classes.
~*~
Seifer stood gloating over a crate of softly glowing glass vials. "This is it," he told Nida, who knelt on the concrete floor examining the ampoules marked Elixir, Holy Water and Remedy. The former pilot of Balamb Garden looked up at Seifer with a satisfied smile.
"Are you sure this is all of it?" asked Nida.
Seifer glared at Nida. "I just said it was," he said defensively.
Nida nodded. "Wonderful!" he said gleefully. "Those idiots will be so desperate for these things with Rinoa acting like a nut they'll pay whatever I ask. I'll be rich!"
"You will?"
"Er- I mean we of course," answered Nida quickly.
Seifer nodded slowly, suspicion evident on his handsome face. "Of course."
Nida picked up the crate and smiled. "You'll get your cut as soon as I sell it."
"Fine," said Seifer, "and be sure you don't rip me off."
"Would I do that?" asked Nida, trying to look as innocent as he could. Seifer gave Nida a look filled with ire before turning to return to his hideout.