Author's Note:
This story may contain elements and scenes from other fan-fictions written by different authors. If you feel that your rights are being violated, don't hesitate to contact me. Thank you.
Of course, all of the Tekkaman/Dragonball characters/ideas that are not made up by me are property of their respective creators. I hope you enjoy this fiction.
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Tekkaman Z
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Episode 2: The Radam Strike Back!
By: Kajitani Eizan
Setting: Around 6:30 PM, Space Knight Command Center.
Miyuki Meter: 69 hours remaining.
Shinya twirled the powdered donut on his middle finger, sending white powder everywhere. Takaya watched, bored out of his mind, as Shinya thrust his finger upwards, launching the donut into the air. Takaya neatly caught the donut with his mouth and began to furiously chew at the tasty treat. Shinya growled, annoyed, and took another donut from the Dunkin'-Micro-Sun-AOL-Time-Warner-Soft-Donuts box, placing it on his middle finger.
Miyuki chose this moment to walk into the room. "You know, Shinya," she reprimanded, "it isn't nice to hold up your middle finger."
Shinya turned towards Miyuki and clenched his fist in preparation to give her the finger, squashing his donut in the process and causing it to tumble down the front of his shirt, covering it with white powder. Takaya laughed at the sight, which promptly caused him to choke on the donut he was eating. He tried to cough it up, but it was firmly lodged in his throat and prevented any air from entering or escaping his lungs.
Is this the end for me…? thought Takaya as he desperately grabbed at his throat. Will the Radam win due to my grievous error?
Shinya could only watch in horror as his brother started to turn interesting shades of blue.
"No…Takaya…" he started. "Takaya…TAKAYA!!"
He collapsed to the floor, sobbing, unable to help his brother. "Please, God, no…don't let him die…not now…not when we need him the most…"
"Oh, good God," said Miyuki, crossing the room to perform the Heimlich maneuver. "Can you please shut up?" She went behind Takaya, put her arms around him, put her fists together, and violently pushed her fists into his abdominal region again and again. Takaya winced in pain.
"Oh NO!" Miyuki screamed. "It isn't working! Aki! Ringo! Anyone! HELP!!"
***
"Saber, my sweet little servant," intoned Omega. "Report."
A Radam tumbleweed rolled by.
"Saber!" repeated Omega. "I said REPORT!"
Radam crickets started chirping.
"…AXE!" shouted Omega. "Come here!"
The bulky green Tekkaman appeared before Omega and knelt, his head bent. "What is your desire, sire?" he asked, pleased with his poetic inflection.
Omega glared at his servant. "Where is Saber?" he questioned.
Axe raised an eyebrow. "He isn't back from fighting Blade?"
"Of course not, you dolt!" Omega's booming voice shook the chamber. "If he was, then I wouldn't be asking you where he was, would I?"
Axe pondered over this logic for a while, then decided that Omega was indeed correct. "I see, sire. Maybe…he has randomly decided to defect and join Blade!" suggested Axe.
"…No, you imbecile," replied Omega. "That's a stupid idea."
"Oh…"
The two brainstormed a bit longer. "Maybe…" started Omega, swiping his hand to the side in a decidedly Squall-like motion, "he has randomly decided to defect and join Blade!"
Axe facefaulted. "Er…sire, isn't that what I just said?"
"No. Shut up."
"But…"
"I said for you to shut up! Now go and find Saber, and bring him back to me!"
***
"Kuso!!" cursed Aki as she unsuccessfully performed the Heimlich maneuver. "It won't work! Just stay calm, Takaya!"
Takaya reaffirmed that he was cool as a cucumber by widening his eyes even further and violently swinging his head from side to side.
Aki turned to the blond Space Knight in the doorway. "Ringo, do you have any ideas?!"
Ringo stared at Takaya's purplish face, amused. "Well…whenever my sink's drain is clogged, I just pour Drano in and—"
"Bingo, Ringo!" exclaimed Shinya. "Shimatta, I have to get to the supply room as fast as I can! …I know! TEK-SETTA!"
A blue translucent crystal appeared around Shinya as the force of the transformation pulled his clothes off of him. Aki blushed profusely as she remembered her two-hour escapade with Takaya. Ringo, noticing this, growled at the asphyxiated Takaya with annoyance. He was about to make a witty remark when Tekkaman Saber fired up his thrusters and burst out the door of the rec room.
"…Ittai…" whimpered Ringo weakly as he lay on the floor, just outside the doorway.
"Be careful, Shinya!" Miyuki shouted down the hall.
I must hurry! thought Saber as he flew down the hall towards the nearest Space Knight Command Center janitorial closet, eliciting screams of terror from the personnel walking down the hall. The fate of the Earth depends on it!
***
"Sir!" called Lieutenant Melders.
"Goddamn it," groaned General Galt, head of the military. "I'm trying to reach a climax here!"
"Um…sir…?"
That young man, Tekkaman Blade… thought Galt as he continued to stare at a monitor that displayed Blade's most recent battle with some Radam buggers. He's so perfect…I must have him…
"…Sir! I have an important message!"
Hmm…my hand is starting to hurt… thought Galt. I'd better rest and see what Melders wants.
Out loud, he said, "What is it, Melders?"
"Er…it seems that Tekkaman Saber has been sighted inside of the Space Knight Command Center. He is currently flying down the halls, saying 'Takaya, Takaya' over and over again."
Oh no! thought Galt. That devilish fiend is after my perfect soldier!
"Hmm…tell Tekkaman Blade to evacuate the building; I'm going to fire the Mechatama II ballistic missile at the Command Center."
Melders raised an eyebrow. "What about the other Space Knights?"
Galt paused. "Oh. Yeah. Them. Tell them to evacuate as well…I guess."
Melders ran off to the communications center, where he unfortunately was 'distracted' by an attractive female coworker and thus failed to deliver the message.
"Prepare to fire the Mechatama II ballistic missile at the Space Knight Command Center!" bellowed Galt.
***
Takaya's eyes widened in fear as he backed away from Saber.
"Don't worry, bro!" said Saber. "It'll be all right!"
He unscrewed the cap of the Drano jug and shoved the mouth of the jug into Takaya's, filling Takaya's mouth with Drano. Takaya felt a sudden motion in his throat as the chunk of donut was freed and traveled down his esophagus. Regaining his breath, he quickly spit out as much Drano as he could, but some was still swallowed.
"You…idiot…" gasped Takaya before he fainted.
***
"Hmm…that place must be the base," said Axe as he floated in the air. "Soon…Saber…"
***
"He'll be all right," said the doctor with some relief. "That stomach pumping sure did the trick."
"Ahh, that's good to hear," said Saber, still in full body armor.
"Thank goodness," sighed Miyuki with relief. She lightly ruffled Takaya's hair.
"Yeah, I'm glad," said Takaya. "Too bad I'll have to rest here for the night."
"I guess that means no midnight fun," said Aki.
"Damn!" said Ringo and Takaya together. Takaya looked suspiciously at Ringo.
"But I might stay here with you, Takaya," Aki said sweetly.
"I look kinda like Takaya, don't I?" asked Saber slyly.
"Yeah…so?" replied Aki.
"Why don't you forget about my brother here and spend the night with me? We'll fu—"
SMACK! Aki's open palm smashed into Saber's cheek. "Ow…" she whined.
"Lemme make you feel better," offered Takaya, who promptly started to make out with Aki's bruised hand.
Suddenly, an alarm blared, drowning out the noise of Takaya kissing Aki's hand and Aki's soft moans of pleasure.
"What the slut!?" exclaimed Ringo.
Jamison's head appeared on a nearby viewscreen. "Blade, Saber," he said. "Tekkaman Axe is outside the Command Center. I want you two to take care of him."
"Yes, sir!" shouted Saber.
"I wanna go, too!" said Miyuki.
"No," commanded Saber. "You're too weak. Stay here."
"But—"
"No."
"—I can distract Axe with my round, yet firm—"
"NO!!"
"—water balloons!" finished Miyuki. "Hentai, what were you thinking?!"
"Sorry, Aki, gotta go," said Takaya. "TEK-SET—AUGHH!"
Red lines appeared all over Takaya's body as he screamed in anguish. "The Drano in my bloodstream—AUGH—must be interfering—ARGH—with my Tek-set's crystal Zeetron-globulization field amplifier…" he managed.
Jamison stared at Takaya. "What the FUCK does that mean?"
Takaya winced in pain as the green lightshow faded away. "That means I can't Tek-set until the Drano is filtered out of my bloodstream."
"How the hell did it get into your bloodstream in the first place?"
Takaya sweatdropped. "Erm…maybe my Radam powers caused it? Plot hole? …I know! It's Ringo's fault!"
"Hey!"
"Anyway, I must be off. Seeya!" said Saber. He flew out the door of the rec room towards the exit.
It's time to meet your maker, Axe, thought Saber.
***
"I'm tired of waiting for you, traitor," muttered Axe. "That's it, time for some action!"
Axe's Voltekker cells charged up until they were glowing with energy. He thrust his hands to the side into the pose that he had been practicing in front of the mirror for hours.
"VOLTEKKA!" he yelled. As he did so, greenish energy burst out of the cells, merging into a single radiant beam that raced down toward the ground.
Oh, shit, thought Saber as he saw the Voltekker blast headed straight towards him. He charged up his red Voltekker cells, took careful aim, and—
Ah, screw this, Saber thought. At the last possible moment, he dodged, allowing the green Voltekker to sail right by him.
Jamison looked on in horror as the green energy beam sailed down toward the Command Center.
"Oh my God, NO—"
There was a large explosion as the whole area was reduced to a large dust cloud.
***
"Now, you're dead!" yelled Saber. "VOLTEKKA!"
The reddish beam streaked across the evening sky toward Axe. Axe didn't even have time to scream before the blast smashed into him, burning away at his armor. "AUGHHH!!" he yelled (after the blast smashed into him).
Saber chuckled in victory, watching as his Voltekker finally passed Axe, leaving a badly burnt but still mobile Tekkaman behind.
Axe glanced down at the ground, astonished. "Why didn't you save your precious Command Center? …Er…mwahahaha! Fool!" Axe began to laugh in glee at the thought that every one of those bothersome Space Knights was dead.
"Baka." This statement from Saber stopped Axe short.
"Nani?" Axe said, staring at Saber.
Saber flashed a red eye at Axe. "You missed completely."
***
"Takaya!"
"Aki!"
"Takaya, I can't—"
"Aki, I'm gonna—"
Takaya gave in to his inner urge. He grabbed the last donut and shoved it into his mouth, savoring the sweet, sugary, creamy taste. Aki, coming down off her sugar high, glared at him.
"Takaya! That wasn't nice!"
"Mmm…Boston Cream…"
"I wanted that one!"
"…You know, you shouldn't eat so many donuts. You're already kinda fat, and—OUCH!"
***
Saber generated his lance and chuckled, watching Axe stare in disbelief as the dust cloud cleared up to reveal a perfectly intact Space Knight Command Center. Axe took another swig of whiskey from the bottle he was carrying with him.
"Feeling like shit, huh?" mocked Saber.
"Nooo, I don't havvve to take a shittt," said Axe in a slightly slurred voice.
"Ehh…?" Saber stared at Axe with a raised eyebrow. "Oh, I get it. You were drunk enough that you missed. Dumbass."
Axe flashed a red eye at a point behind Saber. "Two against one is hardly fair, Blade."
Saber whirled around. "Huh? Takaya, you shouldn't have—Nani?! Oh SHIT I've been—"
Saber whirled back around just in time to see Axe ruthlessly shove his weapon into Saber's faceplate. The force of the blow shattered the faceplate, allowing the weapon to enter Shinya's mouth.
***
"Oh no," said Jamison, fear gripping his heart. "Aiba…Shinya…"
He backed away from the viewscreen that showed Axe's weapon firmly lodged in Saber's throat and sank down to the floor in grief.
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Next time on Tekkaman Z!
Is the brave Space Knight known as Aiba Shinya really dead? What about the Mechatama II? Will Aki and Takaya put aside the pleasantries get on with it already? Will they EVER get around to helping Miyuki out? Next time on Tekkaman Z!
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End Chapter 2
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