Yu-Gi-Oh: Interviews

Disclaimer: NO, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, and that includes any characters and/or cards. NOW LEMME ALONE!!

g-babey: IT'S TIME TO IN-IN-IN-INTERVIEW! I've always wanted to say that. Well, anyway, our first of prey will be none other than the very star of the show: YUGI MOTO!

Audience applauds politely.

g-babey: Hi!

Yugi: YES I AM!

g-babey: Blinks. Yep, you had an overdose of sugar before you came here, didn't you?

Yugi: MAYBE!

g-babey: I'll take that as a yes. Anyway, how are you?

Yugi: HIGH!

g-babey: Yes, I can see that. So, let's move on, shall we?

Yugi: Nods head vigorously.

g-babey: Okay, first question. Why are you so goddamn cute and innocent looking?!

Yugi: ^__^ Ah, I was born that way.

g-babey: Mhmm. How do you get your hair to stay up like that..? I've used every kind of gel, but my stupid hair won't frickin' stay up, DAMNIT!

Yugi: ._.

g-babey: WELL?!

Yugi: Umm, heh, you know Benji from Good Charlotte? Well, he mentioned a few good hairsprays and gels that would work if mixed together.

g-babey: Mumbles ..I'll get Benji later..stupid asshole wouldn't tell me..told you..grr..

Yugi: ^__^0

g-babey: Anyway, next question. What do you think of Tea and her constant, annoying, goddamn friendship speeches?! O.O Breathes heavily.

Yugi: Goes insane; runs around like a good little rabid monkey. ..Tea and..her..friendship speeches..totally..ROCK!! Jumps up and down.

g-babey: Eh?

Yugi: The way she makes them so long, dull, and corny, she could dominate over this entire world! Tea could persuade anyone to do anything, just by threatening them with her speeches! I mean, I know a lethal weapon when I see one.

g-babey: Hmm. You put up a crazy argument Yugi, but I see your point.

Yugi: Yes, I know. It's 'cause of the skills, baby. Don't deny it. You know you want me.

g-babey: ~.~0 Okay then..back to my series of questions. Do you like Tea?

Yugi: HELL NO, FOOL! SHE'S A PAIN IN MY ASS! I MEAN, WHAT'S WITH THOSE FREQUENT FRIENDSHIP SPEECHES?! WHY WON'T THEY DIE?!

g-babey: -_-0 I see. Well, let's change the subject.. don't you get annoyed when Pegasus refers to you as "Yugi-boy"?

Yugi: Nope. In fact, I asked him to call me that.

g-babey: Clears throat. Hmm, interesting. Are you straight, Yugi?

Yugi: Straight as a stick!

g-babey: Eyeballs Yugi suspiciously. You know, some sticks are crooked.

Yugi: Glad I'm not that stick!

g-babey: Twitches. ..Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night, discovering on-going wet dreams?

Yugi: Blinks just oh so ever innocently. What are wet dreams?

g-babey: Yep, you're crooked.

Yugi: Huh?

g-babey: Nevermind. Next question: Why are you so short?!

Yugi: Cries. I never ate my veggies! Oh, those poor veggies! They feel so left out 'cause I never had the liking for them! Oh, I'm SO sorry! I didn't mean not to eat you!

g-babey: Off in the distance talking with someone. Hey, Oprah. This kid, Yugi. a real drama scene. You could use him on your show. OH, THOSE POOR VEGGIES!

g-babey: Walks calmly over to Yugi. 'Kay, I'm back. Now, where were we? Ah, yes, I was about to ask you another question..yes, how old are you?

Yugi: 15!

g-babey: Well that was short and simple..hmm, speaking of short, Yugi, do others make fun of you because you're so..short?

Yugi: Sniffs. Yeah, they do.

g-babey: Gasps. That's so mean! Who are they?! Don't you worry Yugi, I'll kick their butt to Pizza Hut!

Yugi: ._.

g-babey: ^__^ Hugs Yugi. You're not that short. Besides, I think I'm shorter..WAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Yugi: Hugs back. 'Tis otay, 'tis otay.

g-babey: HEY! THAT'S MY LINE! THIS AIN'T "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"! YOU CAN'T JUST STEAL PEOPLES' LINES LIKE THAT! I MEAN, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! SHEESH.

Yugi: Umm, sorry?

g-babey: 'Tis otay, 'tis otay.

Yugi: Falls back anime style. -_-0

g-babey: Well, we need to end this interview..this chapter's getting too long, and I'm getting tired of typing..

Yugi: ..No comment..

g-babey: Let's talk about your millennium puzzle. Do you and Yami Yugi get along well?

Yugi: He can be frustrating at times, but he's cool wit me.

g-babey: Good. Good. Cackles evilly. BWAHAHA!!!

Yugi: ._. Huh?!

g-babey: Yugi, you're gonna make Yami Yugi go out with me. No circumstances. Force him. I don't care how you do it, just as long as it's done.

Yugi: Speechless.

g-babey: If not, I will put all your underwear through my shredder and you shall never see it again! BWAHAHA!!! I'M SO EVIL!!!

Yugi: Well, it doesn't matter much, 'cause I can always get more underwear with my money-

g-babey: -Not if I eat all of it.

Yugi: Sticks out tongue.

g-babey: NYAH, NYAH, NYAH, NYAH, NYAH!!!

Yugi: Sighs.

g-babey: Yep, so anyway, to conclude this weird little interview, I will ask you five more-no-ten more-yes that's it-ten more random questions.

Yugi: Good lord almighty.

g-babey: BWAHAHA!!! So, Yugi, have you ever thought about running through the streets bare-naked?

Yugi: Achem. Now, why would I-

g-babey: -Just answer the damn question already.

Yugi: Yes, I have. Blushes in embarrassment.

g-babey: Yeah, you should be ashamed! I mean, what kind of sick, perverted, 15-year old would think such thoughts as running through the streets bare- naked? I mean, UGH! Well, there goes final random question number one. On to number two! Are you a cross-dresser?

Yugi: Talk about a really random question! NO, I'm NOT.

Kaiba pops out of nowhere.

Kaiba: I HAVE PICTURES TO PROVE IT!!!

Yugi: O.O Kaiba..

Kaiba: QUIT LYING ALREADY!

Yugi: Sighs.

g-babey: Hmm. Pictures, eh? Kaiba, darling, have I told you how much I've appreciated you lately?

Kaiba: Nope.

g-babey: Falls back anime style. -_-0 Well, I'm NOT starting! I-HEY!! KAIBA!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF YOUR CAGE?!! Storms over to her darling Kaiba.

Kaiba: Uhh..don't hurt me.

g-babey: Grr. I have every right to! Pushes Kaiba back into his metal cage. Damnit Kaiba! How many times do I have to tell you? STOP BITING THE LOCKS OFF!! You're not getting out until it's time for your interview!

Kaiba: -BUT-

g-babey: -NO exceptions. Now stay in there and quit your biting before I give you one of them muzzles!

Kaiba: Yes, master g-babey..woof.

g-babey: Pats Kaiba on the head. Good.

Kaiba: Happily woofs.

Yugi: O.O

g-babey: YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING!

Yugi: O.O

g-babey: Oh, yeah! Well, Yugi, are you a cross-dresser or what?

Yugi: Well..ONLY SOMETIMES! AND IT'S JUST FOR FUN!!

g-babey: Cool. Me three! I steal my brother's clothes all the time..so warm..and COMFY!!

Yugi: 0

g-babey: Otay! Next question: when you do feel like coughcoughcross- dressingcoughcough, where do you get the clothes?

Yugi: Oh, Tea lets me wear some of her extra clothes..remember: JUST. FOR. FUN.

g-babey: COUGHCOUGHYESISEECOUGHCOUGH.

Yugi: Sighs.

g-babey: HEHEHEHE!!! Now for number four: CAN YOU PLEASE HOOK ME UP WITH YAMI YUGI?!! PLEASE?!!

Yugi: ..What if I don't wanna?

g-babey: I'll. Hurt. You.

Yugi: Gulps. Uh, sure. I'll hook..you guys..up. Gulps again.

g-babey: Hugs Yugi tightly. OY, THANK YA SO FRICKIN' MUCH!!

Yugi: Gulps again, but blushes a bit too. Eh, your welcome..

g-babey: Otay that's enough of that. Backs away from Yugi. This is supposed to be funny..

Yugi: Yeah..I agree..

g-babey: Anyway. Um, ah, oh yes. Hehehe..would you rather have a bird poop in your mouth or in your eye?

Yugi: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?!

g-babey: Cackles evilly. I got it from my calendar.

Yugi: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF CALENDAR IS THAT?!

g-babey: A funny debatable one.

Yugi: Sighs. Um, okay then.. I'd rather..have a bird poop in my eye.

g-babey: Hee. Hee. Hee. Now for question number..one..two..four..SIX!! Do you like vanilla coke?!

Yugi: Oh, I LOVE vanilla coke! THAT'S THE STUFF I GET HYPER FROM!!

g-babey: Interesting. Same here! Uhh, what's your favorite Duel Monsters card?

Yugi: THE DARK MAGICIAN!

g-babey: COOL, SAME HERE AGAIN, DUDE! Question number eight: did you know that I knew that the dark magician was your favorite Duel Monsters card, and that it was mine too?

Yugi: Actually, no, I didn't.

g-babey: Hmm. Have you ever thought about being sedated?

Yugi: Many times. I need to get tranquilized..and laid..

g-babey: No comment. LAST QUESTION: What's with your pajamas, man?! They're light blue with little yellow stars on them! IT'S SCARY! O.O

Yugi: Well, you see, Tea bought them for me..I can't exactly throw them out..it'd be rude.

g-babey: OH, NOWONDER. That girl has no better fashion taste than a 50-year old, retired prostitute does.

Yugi: Blinks.

g-babey: Well Yugi, it's been fun, but I'm afraid the interview's over..it's now time for me to gladly, COUGHCOUGHIMEANUNFORTUNATELYCOUGHCOUGH, kick you out.

Yugi: Oh, that's okay, I'll be out in a sec-

g-babey: A sec is too long for my patience..Grabs her magical black boot and sticks it up Yugi's innocent butt. NICE INTERVIEW WIT YA!

Yugi: AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Lands on the sharp pointy tip of a nearby rock. OUCHIES!..MOMMY..

g-babey: PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST, FOOLS!

Author's Note: Hehe, sorry if anything here offends some people. Well, lemme know what you think about this so far..oh yeah..before I forget: R+R PLEASE!! NO FLAMES!! Y'ALL DON'T WANNA SEE ME GO CRAZY LATINA ON YO' SORRY ASS!