Author's Note:

This story may contain elements and scenes from other fan-fictions written by different authors. If you feel that your rights are being violated, don't hesitate to contact me. Thank you.

Of course, all of the Tekkaman/Dragonball/other characters/ideas that are not made up by me are property of their respective creators. I hope you enjoy this fiction.

CAUTION: This story is not for the weak. Some of the situations may not feel amusing or appropriate to you. If this is the case, please stop reading the story, or skip to the next appropriate section. The '14 and up' rating means literally, 'not suitable for those under 14', unlike the lame rating system used for movies and TV programs, which means, 'okay for 10 and up'.
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[TV-14 FVLN]

Last time on Tekkaman Z!

Sword finally shows up and teams up with Lance! This ambiguously dashing duo will surely prove to be trouble for the Space Knights!

Meanwhile, the said heroes find a dragonball in the midst of a bugger horde! Of course, they mercilessly ignore Watts, who ends up being saved by none other than...Soltekkaman Saint, also known as...

Balzac: "Balzac. Balzac St. Jacques."

While Shinya cracks up, Trunks gets ready to go on a date with Goten! But with an unfortunate set of circumstances, this event is circumvented! Instead, Trunks is forced to head out with Miyuki, leaving a confused Goten behind! Is Vegita starting to suspect Trunks due to certain odd occurrences? Or will he remain as clueless about Goten as he is about the Radam?

Back at the Blue Earth, the bugger with the dragonball, Balzac, and Watts are all taken in...but two of them soon leave!

Balzac: "I'll show you what I'm made of!"

Watts: "AHHHHHH!"

Elsewhere, Jamison realizes that his Playboy is still in Tina's room!

Finally, Melders invites Bakin out to dinner! Is this the big date Bakin was hoping for?

Blade: "I'll never let you win!"

Omega: "The Earth will be mine!"

Blade: "Tekno Battle Mode!" *Destroys buggers at set camera angles*

And now for the continuing saga of..."Dating Games"!

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-[ Tekkaman Z]-

Episode 10: Dating Games...Again

By: Kajitani Eizan

Setting: Day 2, about 7:00 PM, on the road.

Miyuki Meter: 44.5 hours remaining. [========|========|========]

Phatness Gauge Z: 1234567

Man, this sucks... said Trunks. Well, I already paid for our reservation at The Blue Oyster, so I might as well take her there...

The two drove through the night, Trunks concentrating on the road, Miyuki concentrating on Trunks, until they reached their restaurant of choice.

"The Blue Oyster?" said Miyuki. "I never heard of this place."

Hmm... thought Trunks. Maybe this'll even scare her off so that I can enjoy the rest of the night with Goten-chan...

The two strolled into the restaurant, only to be checked by the maitre 'd.

"Are you Trunks Briefs?" he asked of the teen with the crazily-colored coiffure.

"That's me," Trunks replied.

"And this," he said, giving Miyuki an odd look, "is Go—"

"Going to be my fiancé," interrupted Trunks nervously. "Miyuki Aiba."

"Right... Come right this way," the man said, gesturing with his hand.

The two followed the maitre 'd to their table. He handed them menus and left.

Miyuki glanced around the room, observing the many couples that were present. "Hmm...there sure are a lot of people that are...well, gay," she commented.

"Yeah, that's characteristic of this area," fibbed Trunks. "Let's take a look at the menu."

Miyuki raised an eyebrow as she examined the menu. "Um...some of the items on this menu are a little...odd...wouldn't you say, Trunks-chan?"

"Yeah," said Trunks. "It's a specialty restaurant...I guess."

A slim man came up to their table, wearing a belly shirt and skorts. "My name is Amaantu Likanfuk, and I'll be your waiter for tonight. May I take your order, please?"

"Sure," said Trunks. "We would like to start with some Butt Bread with olive oil and freshly ground black pepper."

"Good, good, that's all quite good and gay," replied the waiter. "Anything else?"

"Yeah, I think I'll go with some Cock-a-cola and a Homoburger."

"Would you like any cheese with the Homoburger?"

"Sure, I'll go with Pepper Jackoff," replied Trunks.

"And would you like Faggot Fries as well?" the waiter asked.

"Hmm...why not?" said Trunks.

"And for you?" asked the waiter, turning to a disturbed Miyuki.

"Um...what's the special for today?" she asked.

"I think you'll like our famous Choked Chicken with lemon and Gayonnaise," he replied.

"Um, I think I'll pass on that," Miyuki said slowly. "Do you have anything um...normal?"

"Well, we have Cheese Pizza."

"Yes...yes, that will be good," she said, relieved, closing her menu.

"Oh, and it comes with Tossed Salad," the waiter said. "What type of dressing would you like with that?"

"I...think I'll pass on the salad," she said, and Trunks winked at her.

"Oh, come on, Miyuki, it tastes pretty good."

"Trunks-chan," she said. "You've come here before?"

"Why, yes," the waiter answered. "He's a regular, along with—"

"Everyone else here," Trunks nervously finished the sentence.

"Right," said the waiter. "So, what you like like to drink? The fruity sweetness of Penis Colada? The citrus tang of 69-Up?"

"I'll just have water, thank you," replied Miyuki hurriedly.

"Anything else?"

"That'll be all," replied Trunks.

"Fifteen minutes," the waiter said, taking their menus and walking away, jiggling his ass at the two.

***

"Hey, that's odd," said Bakin. He squinted more in an endeavor to clarify the image that he was seeing.

"What?" asked Melders, looking in the direction that Bakin was looking.

"Isn't that couple...well, straight?" pondered Bakin. "Isn't that unusual?"

"It sure is," replied Melders. "Unless the green-haired one is a transvestite. Man, kids these days are crazy with their dyed hair."

"Yeah...check out that kid's lavender hair," replied Bakin. "Actually, it's pretty cute. I should try that."

Just then, the waiter arrived with their food.

"Here is your Buttweiser and Spermloin Steak," the waiter said to Bakin, placing the said items in front of him.

"Thank you."

"And here is your Peking Dick with Reamed Corn," he said to Melders. "And here is the Orange Jizz you requested."

"Thank you."

"Enjoy your meals," said the waiter, turning away.

"Thanks for bringing me here, Melders-chan," said Bakin softly, gazing into Melders' eyes.

"No problem, Izumi-chan," replied Melders, forcing a smile.

Soon...

***

Miyuki's meal was surprisingly tasty. She took another bite of her Cheese Pizza. After seeing that the food Trunks had ordered was normal—other than in name—she tried some and found it surprisingly good. The Butt Bread with olive oil and black pepper was soft, fluffy, and absolutely delicious, seasoned with basil and liberal amounts of olive oil as it was, and Trunks' Homoburger with Pepper Jackoff cheese was an alluring delight with its superb combination of meat, cheese, and jalapeno pepper.

"Are you enjoying your meal?" asked the waiter to the two. They nodded.

"Good, good. And what would you like for dessert?" the waiter asked.

After talking it over with Miyuki, Trunks replied, "We'll go with one Packed Fudge Sundae and one bowl of Cocky Road Ass Cream."

The waiter nodded and left.

"Ow!" said Miyuki suddenly. "I think I have something in my eye."

"Let me take a look," replied Trunks, concerned. He leaned across the table and peered into her eye.

Oh my God... thought Goten, looking in through the window of the restaurant. Trunks' back was to him. Trunks-chan is...making out with Miyuki?! Why...

Dejected, he flew away into the darkness of the night, crying.

"Ah, I think it's gone now," said Miyuki, oblivious to the jet-haired juvenile that was spying on her.

"Ah, that's good," replied Trunks. "Excuse me, I'll be right back. Feel free to start without me."

Trunks got up and left for the bathroom. Must remain faithful to Goten-chan...must remain faithful to Goten-chan...

Miyuki glanced around the room. One man in particular caught her eye—a German man with blond hair and blue eyes.

That guy... she thought, gazing at Melders. I'm sure I've seen him somewhere before...

***

Son Goku saw an explosion a few blocks away. A small amount of smoke began to rise from the building, and terrified citizens fled from the scene.

"Ah, another movie shooting," he said. "I don't want to screw it up like last time."

He walked down the street in the other direction, whistling a tune and avoiding the ugly purple tree that was in his path.

***

Miyuki stared as she saw an armored figure crash through the ceiling and land hard onto the floor. It seemed to be in pain, judging from its hysterical screams of agony. Suddenly, another armored form crashed down on top of the first one, shoving its lance through the first armored form's arm, eliciting more expressions of pain.

"Tekkaman Sword..." whispered Miyuki.

"Why, if it isn't little Aiba Miyuki," sneered Sword. "You have no idea as to how pleased I am to see you. Aren't you glad to see me?"

"Ecstatic."

"Well, let's get over with the obligatory speeches. Won't you rejoin the Radam? You still have time to be saved!" cried Sword.

"Hell, no," snapped Miyuki, whipping out her rose-colored tek-set. "Tek-setta!"

Miyuki performed a pointless flip before becoming...

"Tekkaman...Rapier!"

"Good, now that that's over with, let's do it to it!" shouted Sword.

She charged forward...only to be tripped by the first armored figure.

"Not so fast, Sword," grunted Saint.

Sword struggled to get free of Saint's iron grip on her ankle.

"Rapier...you're with us, right? With the Earth?" asked Saint.

"Yeah, that's right. I'm Takaya's sister."

"Good...my suit is damaged beyond repair. I'm going to take this bitch out if it's the last thing I do..." he said.

Suddenly, he started glowing pink and yellow, flashing at a violent frequency. Diagonal cuts randomly appeared on his chest.

"What...what is he doing?" cried Rapier.

"He's initiated his self-destruct sequence!" cried Sword.

"Forgive me, Rapier; it's the only way to destroy her..." cried Saint. Everybody ran out of the restaurant, screaming.

"No, Saint, no!" cried Sword.

"Rapier...remember me as I once was..." he cried, his eyes streaming with tears, pink and yellow flashing around him.

"Um...who are you?" replied Rapier.

"I'll always be with you, Rapier...always..."

Suddenly, the flashing lights disappeared.

"Uh...that sucked," said Saint.

"Congratulations on blowing yourself up," said Sword.

"Get that self-destruct button fixed for the next battle," advised Rapier. "We might need your help."

"But, now, Rapier, you're the one that's going to need help," snarled Sword.

***

Feeling a large boulder splash into the placid lake, Trunks breathed a sigh of relief. Upon smelling the aesthetic aroma that diffused from the fecal funnel, he turned to look at the toilet paper, noticing that it was covered with imaginative images of phallic pictograms.

"Wow, the owners here have thought of everything," he smiled to himself, now eager to wipe his location of excretion.

Suddenly, Trunks felt an explosion that was not a direct result of his abdominal adjurations. The entire bathroom shook for a few seconds.

"Man," he said, "that's the second earthquake this week."

Another boulder released itself.

***

"But, now, Rapier, you're the one that's going to need help," snarled Sword.

"You already said that line," Miyuki said.

"No, see, that was meant as a recap," explained Sword.

"Oh."

"So, Rapier, it's just one-on-one now...Radam on traitor, Sword on Rapier, Hun Rii on Miyuki—"

"Wow, I can't wait to see that!" exclaimed Saint, only to have his head kicked by Sword.

"So, what's your name again?" asked Rapier of Saint.

"Balzac. Balzac St. Jacques," he replied.

Rapier and Sword started cracking up.

"What kind...of dolt...has a name...like 'Balzac'?" managed the two between fits of laughter.

"Anyway," said Sword, recovering from her mirth, "at least I can send a letter to your family about your demise. Do you have dog tags on you? That goes for you, too, Rapier."

"I'll stop you!" shouted Rapier.

"Of course you will," mocked Sword.

"Hey!" shouted Rapier, seeing her waiter cowering in the corner. "Get out of here, Amaantu Likanfuk!"

"Huh?" said Saint, confused.

The two Tekkamen charged at each other, each vying for control over her opponent. The two struggled, each of their own attacks parried by the other.

An opening! Rapier realized. She thrust her rapier at Sword, scoring...

...nothing...as Lance's lance-like lance blocked her attack.

"Surprised?" he smirked. "Rapier."

She screamed out in pain as he penetrated her with his...lance.

Suddenly, a blue bolt came out of nowhere and knocked Lance's glaive aside, turning what would have been a serious injury into a superficial cut.

"You ball sack!" yelled Sword, kicking Saint again.

***

"Here we are," said Melders, inserting the keycard into the door and opening it. "Room 704."

"Melders-chan..." whispered Bakin.

Bakin immediately walked over to the bed and sat down. "It's so comfortable...don't you think so, Melders-chan?"

Melders opened the balcony door and stood there, looking out into the night sky, resting his arms on the ledge wall, his azure eyes shining in the moonlight.

"Melders-chan..." said Bakin, walking over to stand next to Melders.

The two stared out into the night sky.

Bakin inhaled slightly as Melders put his arm around him. He turned his head, facing Melders, looking into Melders' shining blue irises. He moved closer...closer...so close so that he could feel Melders' hot breath on his neck...his lips almost touching the other's...

Melders shoved Bakin off the balcony.

"AAAAHHHHHHH!" screamed Watts, falling from the sky.

Melders watched as Watts landed on Bakin, already sprawled on the ground.

"Help...me..." moaned Watts, stretching a hand up to Melders six floors above. "I'm hurt. Hurt badly."

***

Miyuki winced as she crashed into a big, blue shell, the namesake of The Blue Oyster.

"Now you die!" yelled Lance as he thrust his glaive at Miyuki.

Now! thought Miyuki. She held out her rapier horizontally, one hand on each side of the weapon, and met Lance's thrust head-on...successfully blocking it.

Shit! thought Lance. She's blocked my weapon right in the middle of the prongs!

Miyuki jumped forward and to the side, double gripping her rapier as she sliced Lance's glaive into two halves, quickly approaching Lance's torso...

"Teeeear into pieces!"

"Aggghhh!!" Lance screamed as he felt his armor shred in many different places, causing numerous painful cuts on his skin.

"Lance!" cried Sword.

"I'm okay," he grunted, regenerating his lance. "It will take more than that to defeat an Ascendant Tekkaman!"

"Damn..." muttered Rapier.

"Now, eat this!" yelled Lance, firing his goo jets at Rapier.

Suddenly, a figure appeared out of nowhere and repelled the goo with a twirl of his lance.

"Sorry," said Blade, "but she's not hungry."

"I just had Cheese Pizza!" affirmed Rapier, taking another swing at Sword.

Saber swiped some Warm Apple Pie off of a nearby table, then wailed as he realized that his faceplate prevented his consumption of the tasty treat. Suddenly, jets of goo smashed into the pie, ruining it.

"We'll have none of that here," mocked Lance.

"Why...you...bastard!" screamed Saber, charging at Lance.

"This is for Miyuki!" cried Blade, charging at the same.

***

Commander Jamison, head of the Space Knights, knocked on the door in front of him. "Hello?"

There was no response.

Great! he thought, producing his master key from his pocket. Now I can sneak in, grab my magazine, and get out...

Jamison opened the door without a hitch. He peered around the room, looking for his magazine.

Aha! he thought, spotting it on the floor next to the bed. He walked over to pick it up.

"Eeek! Jamison-san!" wailed Tina.

Jamison started and turned to the source of the voice. His face turned red as he realized that Tina was wearing...nothing...under the towel.

"Jamison-san, get out of my room!" said Tina, stomping over to him to push him into the hall. Unfortunately, she slipped on the issue of Playboy, causing her to stumble forward...straight into Jamison, who held his hands out in front to stop her.

The two crashed onto the bed, the springy mattress cushioning their fall.

"Tina..." trailed off Jamison. I...can't...hold onto it...any...longer...

"Jamison-san..." whispered Tina, sensing where his hands were. Jamison quickly moved his hands to his side, turning red in the face.

The background became colorful and sparkly. Tina unconsciously lowered her head to Jamison's.

"Hey, Tina," called Maggie from the hall, "you wanna—oh, my!"

Tina jumped off the bed. "No, Maggie, it's not what you think!"

Jamison gaped as her towel fell off, then, with an effort, turned his head away as Tina blushed heavily. Man...what am I thinking? She's like half my age and height!

"Wait till everyone hears about this!" said Maggie, racing down the hall.

"I think I'll...just...leave now," said Jamison nervously, picking up his magazine and shoving it into his pocket.

"Oh no you won't!" yelled Tina, shutting the door and locking it.

Jamison gulped.

"So..." Tina said slyly. "I think I deserve some compensation for the trouble you've just caused."

Jamison backed away, terrified, as Tina slyly edged towards him. "What's your shoe size, Jamison-san?"

I'm doomed to be arrested for pedophilia, aren't I...

***

Saber swiped at Lance again, only to be blocked. Lance's foot connected with his head, sending him sliding across the floor neckfirst.

"Damn you!" cried Blade as he charged at Lance.

"Argh!" cried Miyuki as Sword kicked her in the xyphoid process, knocking the wind out of her.

"Miyuki!" yelled Blade, distracted.

"I'd worry about myself if I were you!" shouted Lance, slashing Blade across the chest, sending him flying into a recovering Saber.

The Aiba brothers cursed as they were trapped by Lance's goo jets.

"And now for the finale!" chuckled Lance, revealing his Voltekker cells.

"We're screwed..." moaned Blade.

"Hey, look at the bright side," said Saber. "At least he didn't unzip his pants."

"True..." conceded Blade. "But still, what hope do we have?"

"Don't worry," said Saber. "I've got a backup plan. As a matter of fact, it should kick in in a matter of seconds."

"You're bluffing," chuckled Lance. "Don't be silly; your end is now."

"Try looking above you," smirked Saber.

"I'm not going to fall for—AAAGGGHHH!"

Lance's screams were drowned out as the laxatives kicked in, sending gallons and gallons of loose bugger stool to rain upon him through the hole in the ceiling, slowly but surely eating through his armor.

"Why is it that we always find dragonballs when we're in deep shit?" asked Rapier, picking up the three-star ball that emerged from the copious crap and washing it with water from a nearby glass.

With one Z-tron bolt from Saint, Blade and Saber were free. Sword realized that she was outnumbered three to one.

"Damn you!" cursed Sword, kicking Saint in the side again. "I'll be back...and you'll be sorry!"

The Aiba family watched as she took off into the night sky, dragging a soiled Lance behind her.

"I've been wondering, oniisan," said Rapier, "how did you know to come here?"

"Actually, it's because of the Dragon Radar," Blade replied. "It claimed that another dragonball was already here."

Saber reached into the remnants of the blue oyster shell and pulled out...the six-star dragonball.

"The shell must have been shielding the dragonball," Rapier realized. "When I crashed into it, the dragonball could be detected by the Dragon Radar again!"

"Only two more to go," noted Saber.

"Some help here..." groaned Saint.

"Whose Packed Fudge Sundae is this?" asked Amaantu.

***

"Check out Orgy.com's Festival of Fu—"

Click.

"Digimon! Digimon! Wow, I got more power! Digimon! Digital—"

Click.

"Last time on Drag—"

Click.

"News Flash! A local restaurant, The Blue Oyster, was just attacked by Radam Tekkamen! It seems that large amounts of bugger excretions have been dumped into the restaurant as well! Here's Al Ned, on the scene..."

"The Blue Oyster?" muttered Vegita. "Radam Tekkamen? Stupid kids and their gangs these days."

***"

"Are you alright?" asked Blade, concerned.

"Sure, other than a few broken bones, I think so," grimaced Saint.

"I was talking to Miyuki."

"I...I'm fine..." she managed, detransforming. Her fight with Sword left her feeling exhausted.

"Hmm...something seems...different...about this place," said Trunks, emerging from the bathroom. "I can't quite finger it..."

"Here is your Cocky Road Ass Cream, sir," said Amaantu.

"Thanks," said Miyuki. "Um...let's go outside; the night air is more...crisp."

"Okay," replied Trunks, giving a strange look to the police, fire, military, medical, and media personnel that were on the scene. I never recall this place being this popular before...

The two ate their desserts quickly, sharing theirs with the other.

"Well," said Miyuki finally, "it's been a fun evening. You want a ride back?"

"Yeah, if it's not a problem," replied Trunks.

The two looked over at Miyuki's car, which was damaged in the explosion.

"Um...we could fly back," said Miyuki.

"Fly?" asked Trunks, shocked. "But, but...I can't fly!" She couldn't possibly have found out about...?

"Sure we can!" replied Miyuki. "Tek-setta!"

Trunks quickly shielded his eyes from the bright light—well, more from Miyuki's anatomy—only to be picked up off the ground.

"Let's go!" shouted Rapier, blasting off into the sky.

Wow... thought Trunks.

"Hey, don't you think you guys should go get Watts medical attention?" asked Saint.

"Nah," said Saber. "I'm sure he's already getting attention."

***

"Oh, Watts!" cried out Bakin, his crazed eyes going out of focus.

"Oh, no!" cried out Watts in extreme fear, his eyes widening as Bakin approached.

"And now for the finale," breathed Bakin, smirking fiendishly.

A scream came from Room 704. Many were to follow the rest of the night.

I'm hurting...hurting badly... thought Watts, agonized.

Such is the madness of rejection.

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Next time on Tekkaman Z!

They fight! Another dragonball is found! Something happens! Miyuki has even less time remaining! Next time on Tekkaman Z!

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End Chapter 10