Psychopaths Anonymous
The Third Meeting
Chenin: (dressed as a black cat) This Halloween meeting is the best idea I've ever had! And this kitty-cat costume is the best COSTUME I've ever had!!!
Jessica: (dressed as a ghost) I can't wait to see what everybody else is dressed as!
Chenin: It's 5 to 6. They should be arriving anytime now.
(Suddenly Buffalo Bill walks in, dressed as a woman)
Chenin: How come he always has to get here first?
Jessica: Look how he's dressed! He's so gross!
Bill: AHHH!!! A GHOST!!! (starts whimpering)
Jessica: (takes off the sheet on her head) It's just me, you freak!
Bill: Oh. . .I knew that. . .
Chenin: (rolls eyes) So, Bill, you decided to dress up as a woman, huh? How original.
Bill: I AM a woman! And now I have the body for it, too! I may start wearing this costume every day! Until I get my suit done, at least.
Chenin: Great. Do I have to look?
Jessica: Seriously. . .
(The door opens and Hannibal walks in dressed as a vampire)
Chenin: Thank GOD you're here!!
Jessica: I LOVE your costume!
Hannibal: Why, thank you. I am Count Hannibal!
Chenin: It's the perfect costume for you!
Hannibal: I know. (Transylvanian accent) Do you vant me to bite your neck?
Chenin: Uh, no thanks. You might really do it.
(Hannibal shrugs)
Chenin: Where's Tiffany?
Hannibal: Oh, she's coming a bit later. She had to finish her English project.
Chenin: Oh, okay.
Hannibal: (notices Bill) Lovely costume, James. Ridiculous, but fitting.
Bill: Well, I like it!
Hannibal: Of course you do. After all, you are a psychopath.
(Chenin and Jessica laugh)
Hannibal: Jessica, your costume is very original.
Jessica: Yeah, well I couldn't think of anything else to be. Besides, this sheet makes it harder to see Buffalo Bill.
Hannibal: I can't argue with that advantage. Chenin, your costume is VERY cute.
Chenin: (blushes) Oh. . .well, thank you, Dr. Lecter.
Hannibal: Oh, just call me Hannibal.
Bill: Okay, Hannibal.
Hannibal: Not YOU!!
(The door flies open and Clarice runs in, wearing an FBI uniform)
Clarice: Hey, has the meeting started yet?
Chenin: The meeting starts as soon as the first person gets here, so yes.
(Clarice runs up and latches onto Hannibal's arm)
Jessica: Why aren't you wearing a costume?
Clarice: I am! I'm being an FBI agent for Halloween!
Hannibal: But you are an FBI agent. Clarice: (shakes her head) No, you don't understand! (she pulls out a fake badge which says "Clarice Starling, Chief of the FBI") See, I'm being a chief agent! This way I can fire all the people that were rude to me! HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! (starts pointing to imaginary people and laughing maniacally) YOU'RE FIRED! YOU'RE FIRED! YOU'RE FIRED!! AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!
(The room is silent and everyone stares at Clarice)
Clarice: What?
Hannibal: Uh...nothing...never mind...
(The door opens and Mason Verger wheels himself in. He is dressed as a pink bunny rabbit)
Everyone but Mason: OH my GOD!!!!!
Mason: Dosh everyboshy rike my cute coshtume?
(Nobody speaks)
Mason: Herro? Do you all have rarengyshish or shomesing?
Clarice: Mr. Verger, you do realize you're dressed as a bunny rabbit, don't you?
Mason: Yesh, of coursh! I sink zat it fitsh my cute pershonalishy, don'sh you?
Clarice: Uhhhh. . .
Chenin: Okay, now I'm scared. . .
Jessica: Yeah. . .
(Hannibal and Bill nod, and Mason looks confused)
Chenin: Um, anyway, let's start this meeting, okay? (everyone sits down) First, the psychopaths must do their introductions.
Mason: Herro, my name ish Mafon Verver and I am a fycopaph.
Hannibal: Hello, my name is Dr. Hannibal Lecter and I am not a psychopath.
Bill: Hello, my name is Buffalo Bill and I am a woman.
Clarice: Uh, did he just say-?
Chenin: Yeah. Just humor him.
(Clarice nods)
Jessica: Okay, let's bring in the dogs, Chenin.
Mason: NO, not zuh dogsh!!
Chenin: Gotcha!!!!! OKAY, DOGS, COME!!!!!
(The dogs come in through a small doggie door. They are all wearing costumes)
Clarice: You gave the dogs costumes, too? That's cute.
Chenin: Yeah, I got these doggie costumes at Petco!
Jessica: Hey, tell everybody the good news!
Chenin: Okay. Guess what? Clarice is pregnant!
Clarice: WHAT!!!!????
(Hannibal starts looking VERY angry)
Chenin: I mean Clarice the dog!
Clarice: The dog?
(Hannibal relaxes)
Chenin: (points to one of the two dogs dressed as vampires) Yes, this dog's name is Clarice. She's the alpha female, and she's going to have puppies!!
Clarice: You named the dog Clarice?
Chenin: Yeah, and this is her mate, the alpha male. (points to the other dog dressed as a vampire) His name is Hannibal!
Clarice: Oh. . .(snuggles up to Hannibal) That's so sweet.
Hannibal: (puts his arms around Clarice) I'm so glad you think so.
Chenin: Well, anyway, let's get this Halloween party started!!
Bill: Can we play spin the bottle!!??
Chenin: Uh. . .maybe later. . .
Jessica: (whispering) Maybe NEVER!
Chenin: We're going to have a best costume contest, but we have to wait until Tiffany gets here. So let's start with bobbing for apples!!
Mason: Oh voy!! Vat fun!! Can I go firsht!?
Chenin: How do you suppose to do that when you can't stand up?
Mason: Shomevody can holsh me upf! Any vorunsheers?
(Nobody moves)
Mason: Awww!!!! Bush I wanna vov for afflesh!!!
Chenin: I know! Somebody can tip his wheelchair forward! That way they don't have to touch him!!
Bill: Okay, I'll do it! It's nice to be able to do a good deed!
Clarice: Good deed, my ass!! You're a vicious serial killer who kills and skins women!! You're a jerk and a freak and a disgrace to mankind and-
Hannibal: (covers Clarice's mouth) Clarice, you seem a bit high-strung today. Remember, if it weren't for that "disgrace to mankind" you and I never would have met. (uncovers her mouth)
Clarice: Oh. . ..that's true. . .(hugs Hannibal) Well, I suppose I'll try to be a little nicer to him. . .but not much!
Hannibal: Well, that's understandable. . . he is a psycho freak, after all. (kisses Clarice)
Clarice: Ahh, you're so wonderful! You understand me completely!
Hannibal: Well, I am a genius.
(Clarice laughs)
Chenin: (drags in a large wooden bucket filled with water and apples) Okay, it's time to start the game! Mason, you can go first.
(Bill wheels Mason up to the bucket and tips the wheelchair forward. Mason gropes around in the water for a while and comes up with an apple in his mouth)
Chenin: Good, Mason, you got one!
(Mason spits the apple, which has a big bite in it, back into the bucket)
Clarice: Mr. Verger!
Chenin: You're not supposed to spit it back in after you've taken a bite out of it!!!!!!
Jessica: EEEEEWWWWWW, GERMS, GERMS, GEEEEEEEERRRRMMMSSS!!!
Chenin: Alright, relax everybody! I anticipated a problem like this, so I brought another bucket! (drags out a new bucket filled with water and apples)
Hannibal: You're just ready for anything aren't you?
(Chenin smiles broadly)
Hannibal: Okey Dokey, I'll go next! (he walks up to the bucket, bares his vampire fangs, and dunks his head in. Moments pass, and then he comes up with two apples in his mouth, one on each side. Everyone claps)
Chenin: Now that's TALENT!!!
Jessica: Yeah, that's amazing, Hannibal!
Clarice: I always knew you were the best, Darling!
Hannibal: (takes out the apples and offers one to Clarice) I got this one for you, my dear.
Clarice: Oh, thank you, it looks delicious! (kisses Hannibal on the cheek and takes a big bite out of the apple)
Chenin: Hey, lemme go next! (tries to get an apple but is unsuccessful)
Jessica: (shakes her head) Pathetic. (shoves Chenin away) Now, watch the master at work! (Jessica tries to get an apple but fails as well)
Chenin: HA HA!!
Jessica: Shut up!
Clarice: Okay, okay, now I'LL try!
(Clarice walks up to the bucket and succeeds in getting an apple.)
Hannibal: Congratulations, Clarice.
Clarice: (smiles) Well, I'm not as good as you.
Bill: (loud, singsong voice) YAAY, YAAY, MY TURN, MY TURN!!
Chenin: Don't have a cow!
(Bill gropes around in the water and comes up with nothing. He sticks his head back in, gropes around some more, and comes up again with nothing. He sticks his head back in again, gropes around, and once again comes up with nothing. This continues for about five minutes.)
Chenin: Um, maybe we should move on to the next game.
Jessica: Yeahhhh. . .
(Suddenly the door flies open and Tiffany comes in. She's wearing a long red wig and an FBI uniform.)
Hannibal: Oh, hello, Tiffany.
Chenin: Hey!
Jessica: What are you supposed to be?
Tiffany: (smiles triumphantly) I'm Clarice Starling! See, now I can get Hannibal!
Clarice: (looks Tiffany up and down) Ummm, I don't think so.
(Tiffany sticks her tongue out at Clarice and clings to Hannibal's arm)
Hannibal: I must admit, I'm flattered, Tiffany.
Clarice: GRRRR. . .
Hannibal: Don't be jealous, Clarice. It doesn't fit your beautiful, courageous personality.
Clarice: Awww! You're just so sweet! (grabs onto his other arm)
Tiffany: Go away, he's mine!
Clarice: In your dreams!
(Clarice and Tiffany glare at each other)
Chenin: (Holds up hands) Okay, lets not argue now! It's time to start the costume contest!
Bill: WAAAAIIIITTTT!!!!!! I'm not done bobbing for apples yet!!
Chenin: You're not going to get one! Give up already!!
Bill: NEVER! I'll never give up!
Mason: You ifiot! (dunks Bill's head in the water)
Bill: How dare you dunk my beautiful face in the water!! Are you trying to drown me!? (dunks Mason's head in the water)
Mason: Why, you! (dunks Bill's head in the water)
(Soon both Mason and Bill are splashing around trying to drown each other).
Chenin: We might as well just leave them there. Nobody planned on voting either of them for best costume anyway, right?
Everyone but Bill and Mason: Right!
Hannibal: Hold on! I have to add the best part to my costume! (He turns around and when he turns back there is red blood dripping from his mouth.)
Chenin: I REALLY hope that's not real blood. . .
Jessica: Uh, yeah. . .
(Hannibal just smiles)
Chenin: (Pulls out a hat and a bunch of pieces of paper. Gives a piece to each person, along with a pencil.) Okay, write down your vote, fold up your paper and put it in the hat. I'll tally the votes.
(Everyone does so, and Chenin tallies the votes.)
Chenin: Okay! And the winner is. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Jessica: JUST TELL US ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chenin: HANNIBAL!
(Everyone claps as Hannibal takes a bow.)
Chenin: Actually the vote was almost unanimous, except for one vote for me!
Hannibal: That was my vote!
Chenin: Oh, thank you, you're so sweet!
Clarice: You didn't vote for me?
Hannibal: Clarice, darling, this vote is not by personal preference. I really think that Chenin had the best costume.
Clarice: What's wrong with MY costume?
Hannibal: It's. . . creative, I must say, but. . .you look the same as you always do. . .
Clarice: Hmph! (folds her arms and turns away.)
Hannibal: (shrugs) Well, I'm sure you all voted for me because you thought I had the best costume, not because you all like me the best, right?
(Everyone looks away innocently)
Hannibal: (sarcastically) Right. . .
Chenin: Anyway, It's time to get candy!
Hannibal: Chianti?
Chenin: No, I said candy.
Clarice: Where is it?
Chenin: It's all in this. . .Piñata! (pulls out a piñata in the shape of a jack-o-lantern)
Tiffany: A piñata? For Halloween?
Chenin: Well, I thought it would be fun. . .This way I didn't have to waste time making candy bags for everybody!
Jessica: (mumbling) Lazy. . .
Chenin: And we'll use this iron crowbar to hit the piñata with! (holds up an iron crowbar).
Clarice: Isn't that a bit dangerous?
Tiffany: Ooo, can I hit Buffalo Bill with it!?
Chenin: (clutches crowbar possessively) No! My crowbar!
Clarice: I guess that means she's going first.
Chenin: (sidles up to Hannibal, and looks at him sweetly) Hanni-baby? Will you be a sweetie and hang this up on the ceiling for me? (holds up the piñata)
Everyone but Chenin, Hannibal, Mason, and Bill: HANNI-BABY!!???
Hannibal: It's okay. I think it's cute! Of course I'll hang it up.
Chenin: (grins and latches onto Hannibal's arm) Thank you, Hanni-baby, you're so nice!
Jessica: When did she get so clingy all of a sudden?
(Hannibal hangs up the piñata.)
Clarice: (rolls up her sleeves) Right! I'm ready for this! I'll break that thing, no problem! Stand back, everybody!
(Everyone, Bill and Mason included, stares at her.)
Chenin: Uh, okay...
(Hannibal blindfolds Clarice and Chenin hands her the crowbar. Everybody backs away and Mason and Bill finally stop drowning each and watch. Clarice starts hitting the piñata wildly with the crowbar until it breaks open and all the candy falls out)
Clarice: (takes off blindfold and starts jumping up and down) YAAAY!! I WIN, I WIN!!!
Hannibal: You ARE a bit high-strung today.
Chenin: So much for the piñata.
Jessica: Well, let's all grab candy! Then we can trade! (Gives everyone a bag for their candy).
(Everyone runs in and grabs a bunch of candy and then returns to their seats)
Chenin: Okay, anybody want to trade?
Jessica: Lets see, I don't like these flavored Tootsie rolls. . .
Clarice: I'll take them! Those are good!
Bill: (whining loudly) I don't like any of this stuff!
Tiffany: NOW can I hit him with the crowbar?
Chenin: I'd say yes, but it's Halloween; a day of peace on Earth and goodwill to mankind!
Jessica: Isn't that Christmas?
Chenin: Shut up.
Hannibal: Well, what candy DO you like, Bill?
Bill: Anything that's a pretty pink!
Mason: You are rearry shcrewed uf!
Chenin: (mumbling) Who's the one dressed up as a pink bunny?
Tiffany: I guess I can give him one or two pink things.
Chenin: Yeah, I guess. . .
(Everyone gives Bill a few pink candies.)
Bill: Who wants my other candy?
Chenin: After you touched it? No, thank you.
(Everyone nods)
Bill: (holds his candy bag up to the dogs) Here, then you doggies can have my candy.
(All the dogs turn away)
Bill: Fine, then! Meanies!!
Chenin: Well, we only have one more activity. We have to watch a scary movie!
Clarice: Okay. What movie?
Chenin: (laughs evilly, then pulls out a DVD), "THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS"!!
Bill: Look, it's a Death's Head Moth on the cover!!! It's one of my babies!!!
Chenin: Whatever. . .
Clarice: What's it about?
(Chenin says nothing, only begins to laugh evilly again, first quietly, then gets louder until screeching maniacal laughter is echoing throughout the room.)
Clarice: What's THAT supposed to mean?
Jessica: Well, it's not really a SCARY movie, per say, but. . .I think you'll enjoy it!
(Chenin stops laughing and puts in the DVD)
Clarice: Hey! That's the forest by the FBI Training Academy! (a few moments pass) . . .OH MY GOD, THAT'S ME!!!!!!!!
Hannibal: What IS this movie about, anyway?
Chenin: You'll see. .. ..
Clarice: Oh gross, I'm all sweaty!! That was always a hard course to run. Wait a minute! "The Silence of the-" They're not going to show the lambs, are they!? (cringes in fear).
Chenin: No, they just talk about it.
Clarice: Oh, good.
(The man comes and tells Clarice that Crawford wants to see her).
Clarice: This is when I was given the assignment to interview you, Hannibal!
Hannibal: This should be interesting. . .
(Clarice starts talking to Jack Crawford)
Clarice: Wow, my accent was much heavier back then. . .
(Clarice looks at the newspaper clippings of Buffalo Bill)
Bill: Look! It's all about me! I'm so cool, I'm the best serial killer-
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Jack Crawford mentions Hannibal Lecter, and Clarice says, "Hannibal the Cannibal")
Clarice: I think this is going to be a really good movie!
Hannibal: Yes, it looks like it!!
(Jack Crawford tells Clarice to not let Lecter get inside her head)
Hannibal: He thinks he's so smart. . .but I'm glad he sent you and not someone else.
Clarice: (smiles and grabs Hannibal's hand) Me too!
(Dr. Chilton says that Hannibal is a monster.)
Hannibal: (in a low, angry voice) Dr. Chilton. . .
Chenin: Don't let him bother you! You flushed him down the toilet years ago! Literally!
Jessica: That's so gross!
Clarice: He called you an asset! How dare he treat you like some kind of object!!
(Hannibal smiles at Clarice and pulls her close to him).
(Chilton asks Clarice if she wants to go out with him that night).
Hannibal: WHY THAT- ! (Hannibal runs up to the TV and starts shaking it angrily) You damb dirty bastard!!!
Chenin: Um. . .please don't break my television. Then I can't watch Animal Planet!
Hannibal: Oh, sorry. . . (he returns to his seat)
Clarice: (kisses Hannibal on the cheek) I love you.
Hannibal: I love you, too.
(They snuggle close)
(Chilton says that Hannibal thinks that he's his nemesis.)
Hannibal: You ARE my nemesis, you-
Clarice: It's okay, sweetie. He's not worth your time!
Hannibal: You're right.
(Chilton says that Clarice is Hannibal's type)
Hannibal: Well, he IS right about that.
(Clarice smiles)
(Chilton says not to pass Hannibal any pencils or pens)
Hannibal: (bursts out laughing) You should listen to your own advice, you idiot!
Clarice: What?
Hannibal: I'll tell you later.
(Chenin, Jessica, and Tiffany laugh.)
(Chilton show's Clarice the picture of the nurse who Hannibal ate the tongue of).
Hannibal: That was one of my best meals. It's not my fault. She was rude! Rude people taste so much better than other people for some reason.
Clarice: I think I'm getting nauseous. . .
(Miggs says "I can smell your cunt")
Hannibal: (gets VERY angry) Why that. . .that perverted. . .that.. . that... . .
Clarice: Darling.. .(puts her arms around Hannibal and kisses him softly) It's all right.
(Hannibal sighs and holds Clarice close).
(Hannibal comes into view standing in his cell and says "Good Morning"
Clarice: (huge smile) There you are!
(Hannibal smiles)
(Hannibal says, "May I see your credentials?")
(Chenin and Jessica gasp loudly. Everyone looks at them.)
Jessica: It's an inside joke.
(Hannibal says that Clarice's badge expires in one week and winks)
Jessica: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
(Everyone stares at her)
Jessica: Sorry, but it's just so cute when he winks!!
(Hannibal smiles and winks at Jessica and Jessica looks like she's about to pass out)
Chenin: Calm down!
Jessica: (hyperventilating) But he's sooooooooooo cute!!
Clarice: Well, she IS right about that!
(Hannibal just smiles)
(Everyone watches intently as Hannibal and Clarice talk on the movie)
(Hannibal sniffs through the holes of his cell)
Clarice: Oh God, you look sooo handsome when you do that!
Hannibal: (smiles) I don't think I've ever gotten so many compliments in one day!
(Hannibal talks about the picture he drew of Florence)
Hannibal: Ah, Florence! It was wonderful going there for my. . ."retirement", so to speak.
Clarice: I don't know how I couldn't figure out that that's where you went! I should have thought of it immediately!
Hannibal: Ah, Clarice, are we reverting back to F.B.I. mode?
Clarice: (grins sheepishly) Oh, sorry.
(Clarice says, "This one likes to skin his humps.")
Bill: That's me! I'm so happy! This movie is all about me!! Yaay, yaay-
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Hannibal says, in a mock accent, "Oh, Agent Starling, do you think you can dissect me with this blunt little tool?")
(Clarice glances away, and Hannibal touches her hand)
Hannibal: You know that coming from me it doesn't mean anything.
Clarice: I know. . .(leans against him). I love you so much.
Hannibal: (puts his arms around her) It's okay.
(Hannibal goes into his long speech where he "analyzes" Clarice in a mock accent).
Clarice: Yeah. It bothered me so much then. . . (holds Hannibal's hand close to her chest and kisses it) But I didn't know you that well yet.
(Hannibal does his famous "Chianti" speech and slurps)
(Chenin, Jessica, and Tiffany clap)
Chenin: That's the classic scene!
Hannibal: Really? I do like it, myself.
Clarice: Me too!
Bill: When are they gonna show me?
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Everyone watches intently as Miggs spits at Clarice, and Hannibal tells her about Hester Mofet and yells for her to go. Then Clarice walks outside and sees the flashback of when she was young and is crying. Clarice clings tightly to Hannibal the whole time.)
Clarice: (almost in tears) God, I hated that so much. . .
Hannibal: (holds her close) It's all right.
(Clarice and Ardelia are shown at the FBI academy training and the male runners look back at them.)
Clarice: The perverts!
(Hannibal laughs).
(Crawford calls Clarice and tells her that Miggs is dead and that Hannibal did it for his own amusement.)
Clarice: No. If it was for your own amusement you'd have done it already. You did it for me, didn't you?
Hannibal: (smiles sadly) Yes. It was all for you.
Clarice: (hugs Hannibal) I don't exactly agree with your methods. . .but, thank you. Thank you so much.
Hannibal: (hugs her tightly) You're welcome. . .I love you. . .
Clarice: Oh, Hannibal!
(Clarice looks through the garage for information on Hester Mofet and finds Benjamin Rasbael's head. She returns to the asylum and Hannibal gives her a towel.)
Clarice: That was so nice of you! Chilton said not to accept anything from you. . .but screw him!
(Hannibal laughs)
(Hannibal says that Rasbael's death was the best thing for him because his therapy was going nowhere.)
(Chenin and Jessica laugh)
Clarice: (smiles) You are so twisted, Hannibal!
Hannibal: (laughs) Yes, but that's part of my charm!
Chenin: You can say that again!
(Hannibal talks about Jack Crawford being interested in Clarice sexually)
(Jessica bursts out laughing, and everyone stares at her)
Clarice: (laughs) Where do you get this stuff!!?
(Hannibal shrugs)
(Hannibal says that Chilton took his drawings)
Clarice: That bastard was so cruel to you!! I can't stand him!
Hannibal: Thank you, Clarice.
(Hannibal talks about being in the room for 8 years)
Chenin: That's terrible! You deserve your freedom!
Clarice: Yes. You do. (smiles sadly) Although I won't be saying that later. . .
(Suddenly Chenin gets an evil look on her face and pauses the DVD)
Chenin: Meeting's adjurned!
Clarice: (backs away from Hannibal) I WILL catch you, Dr. Lecter. I won't give up!
Chenin: Meeting's back in session!
Clarice: (hugs Hannibal) Hannibal, darling. . .I'm so sorry it has to be like this. Our lives are so different outside of this room. But I do love you! So, so much!
Chenin: Meeting's adjurned!
Clarice: (jumps off of her chair and away from Hannibal) Stay away from me Dr. Lecter! I'd arrest you now if I could!
Chenin: Meeting's back in session!
Clarice: (dives into Hannibal's arms) Oh, Hannibal! I love you!
Chenin: Meeting's adjurned!
Clarice: (pushes Hannibal away) Leave me alone, Dr. Lecter!
Chenin: Meeting's back in session!
Clarice: (hugs Hannibal tightly) Hannibal. . .
Chenin: Meeting's adjurned.
(Clarice backs away from Hannibal)
Chenin: Meeting's back in session!
(Clarice hugs Hannibal)
Chenin: Meeting's adjurned!
(Clarice backs away from Hannibal)
Chenin: Meeting's back in session!
(Clarice hugs Hannibal)
Chenin: Meeting's adjurned!
(Clarice backs away from Hannibal)
Chenin: Meeting's back in session!
(Clarice hugs Hannibal)
Chenin: Meeting's adjurned!
Hannibal: Stop doing that!
(Chenin falls onto the floor laughing hysterically. She starts pounding the floor with her fist and kicking her legs and keeps laughing. Hannibal and Clarice glare at her.)
(Chenin finally calms down and sits back in her seat.)
Chenin: (still laughing a little bit and is very out of breath) Okay, meeting's back in session!
Clarice: THANK you! (promptly sits down and leans against Hannibal)
Chenin: Okay, where were we? (puts the movie back on)
(The scene switches to Katherine Martin driving in her car and listening to music)
Bill: Hey! That's Katherine Martin!! Does that mean I'm gonna appear next!?
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
(Buffalo Bill is shown with his night vision goggles)
Bill: YAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!! It's MEEEEEEEE! (singsong voice) It's me! It's me! It's me! It's me!
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Bill's capture of Katherine is shown)
Bill: I'm so smart using a broken arm to get her into my truck! I'm the best serial killer-
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
(Jack Crawford tells Clarice about the women Bill has killed and tells her that if he had sent her in with an agenda Hannibal would have toyed with her and then turned to stone.)
Hannibal: Perhaps. . .
Bill: I'm the best serial-
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
(Jack tells the sheriff that they should talk in private without Clarice)
Clarice: Now THAT pissed me off!
Hannibal: I don't blame you. . .
(Clarice sees a flashback to her father's funeral and then they go to look at the body and Clarice tells the policemen to go away)
Hannibal: You are amazing, Clarice.
Clarice: (blushes) Oh, come on, it's no big deal. . .
(Hannibal just smiles and kisses her)
(They look at the body and find the moth)
Bill: See, I put that moth there! I'm so cool! I'm the best serial killer-
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Jack and Clarice talk about when he told the sheriff not to talk in front of her. Clarice says it matters what Jack does because it influences other cops.)
Hannibal: You ARE amazing!
Clarice: (blushes again) Oh, stop saying that!
(Hannibal smiles)
Clarice: You're so sweet. . .
(She talks to the bug guys and the one hits on her)
Clarice: (laughs) That was funny. . .
Hannibal: Did you go out with him?
Clarice: (grins) Jealous, darling?
Hannibal: (smiles) Only a little bit. . .
Clarice: (kisses him) We didn't go out, but I considered it.
(It shows Bill's house)
Bill: That's my house!
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(The Senator's plea is shown)
Bill: Well, I never watched that, so it didn't work!
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
(Dr. Chilton is mad about Clarice coming to see Hannibal again and Clarice disses him)
Hannibal: (smirks) Serves him right. . .
(Clarice tells Hannibal about the fake offer from the Senator.)
Clarice: Hannibal. . .I'm sorry. . .I'm sorry I lied to you. . .
Hannibal: It's all right. It was Jack Crawford's idea, not yours. And even if it was, it would still be all right.
Clarice: Thank you. . .
(They talk about Clarice and Hannibal says it would be something to know her in private life.)
Clarice: You do know me now. . .(kisses him)
Hannibal: I'm glad. . .
(Clarice says that the rancher she lived with after her father's death was a decent man)
Hannibal: If he was decent, then why did he send you away after the lamb incident? He should have realized that you were only a little girl and that it scared you. . .if he had really been a decent man.
Clarice: (looks down) I suppose you're right. . .
Hannibal: But that's over, I suppose. What's done is done. (kisses Clarice).
Clarice: Yes. (returns the kiss).
(Hannibal says Buffalo Bill only thinks he's a transsexual)
Bill: That's not true, you meanie!! I AM a transsexual! I'm the best transsexual and the best serial killer-
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(The lotion scene is shown)
Bill: Lookie, lookie! It's me again! YAAAY!!
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHH!!
(Chilton talks to Hannibal about the Senator offer scam and the pen is shown)
Clarice: The PEN!! I get it! Chilton really is an idiot if he left that there for you to take! Is that how you escaped?!
Hannibal: (smiles) Of course. How could I miss an opportunity like that?
(Clarice laughs)
(Hannibal says that Buffalo Bill's first name is Louis, and he'll tell the rest to the senator)
Clarice: (smiles) Your anagrams are showing, Dr. Lecter.
Hannibal: WHAT!? (looks down at his pants)
(Everyone gasps)
Hannibal: Oh. . . you mean word anagrams. . .
Clarice: Uh, yeah, but hey! You can show me your anagrams any time you want!!
Hannibal: (blushes) Uh. . .
Chenin, Jessica, and Tiffany: Me too! Me too!
Jessica: I'll show you my credentials if you show me your anagrams!
(Hannibal pales and Chenin and Jessica laugh)
Tiffany: THAT'S the inside joke about credentials?!!
Clarice: (laughs nervously) I, uh. . . guess so.
(Paul Krendler is shown)
Clarice: Damn Paul Krendler! You can barely even recognize him in this movie since he used all that plastic surgery to make him look younger!
Chenin: So THAT'S what he did! I knew there had to be some reason why he looks so different now!
Hannibal: Not now. I flushed him down the toilet, too, remember?
Chenin: (mumbling) Yeah, and so did that little boy on the plane. . .
Clarice: What is she talking about?
Hannibal: (shrugs) Oh nothing, I just shared some of Paul's leftovers with a small boy I met on a plane.
Clarice: Oh my GOD!!!! (looks like she is about to throw up)
(Chilton can't find his pen)
(Everyone bursts out laughing)
Clarice: I don't see why they had to tie you down so much, though. It must have been uncomfortable. . .
Hannibal: Yes, but I was used to it.
(Clarice sighs and leans against Hannibal)
(Hannibal talks to the senator)
Clarice: HANNIBAL!! I can't believe you said all that stuff! And to top it all off, "I love your suit???!!!!"
Hannibal: (grins) That's part of my charm, too!
Clarice: (groans) Still, I AM pissed at the senator for calling you a THING!!! And at Paul for calling you a son of a bitch!!! Jerks!!
Hannibal: (smiles) Thank you, Clarice. . .
(Chilton says, "MY name is Dr. Frederick Chilton. . .")
Clarice: (mumbling) Selfish son of a bitch. . .
(Clarice says they don't have a name for what Hannibal is)
Clarice: Yes they do! It's a handsome wonderful man that I love!
Hannibal: Why thank you, Clarice. . .
Clarice: (smiles brightly) No problem!
(Hannibal says, "People will say we're in love")
Clarice: (gasps) Oh. . .
Hannibal: What did you think at the time?
Clarice: I. . . just brushed it aside... . .I didn't want to admit that I was getting . . .slight. . .feelings for you. . .
Hannibal: Well. .. . we are in love. . .
Clarice: (smiles) Yes. . .even then I knew it. . .I always have. . .
(They kiss)
(Clarice says, "Your anagrams are showing, Doctor.")
(Everyone bursts out laughing.)
(Hannibal says that Bill covets)
Bill: I covet? How do I do that?
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Clarice tells Hannibal about the lambs)
Clarice: I'll just never forget that day. .. ..(clutches Hannibal's hand)
Hannibal: Don't worry. The lambs will stop screaming one day, Clarice.
Clarice: Only when you're with me. . .
Hannibal: I'm always with you. . .
Clarice: (snuggles close to him) Hannibal. . .
Hannibal: (holds her close) Don't worry. . .
(Hannibal looks sad and then says, "Dr. Chilton, I presume.")
Clarice: Hannibal. . .you looked so sad there. . .
Hannibal: I wanted to tell you his name, Clarice. . .but I couldn't do it in front of Dr. Chilton. I'm sorry. (looks at her sadly)
Clarice: Oh, Hannibal. . . (hugs him tightly) It's okay. . .
(Hannibal touches Clarice's hand and says, "Good-bye, Clarice. . .")
Clarice: At that moment. . .I didn't want to leave. . .
Hannibal: Clarice?
Clarice: I had a feeling I wouldn't see you for a long time. . .and I. . .wanted to stay with you a bit longer, and not just to find out Buffalo Bill's name. . .but I tried to ignore those feelings. . .
Hannibal: I see. . . Clarice. . .
Clarice: Hannibal?
Hannibal: I love you.
Clarice: I love you, too.
(They hold each other tighter)
(The picture Hannibal drew of Clarice holding the lamb is shown)
Clarice: Hannibal. . .you. . .drew that. . .?
Hannibal: I already knew I was in love with you then. Yes, I drew it from memory. Your face is something I can always see clearly. . .
(Chenin pauses the DVD)
Clarice: Oh. . .Oh, HANNIBAL!!! (throws her arms around him, crying quietly)
Hannibal: Cl. .. ..Clarice? (holds her tighter)
Clarice: I love you. . .oh, I love you. . .
Hannibal: (shaky voice) I love you, too.
Tiffany: That's sooooo sweet! (takes off her red wig and smiles) I think I'll let her have him. . .
(Everyone smiles except for Mason and Bill, who are oblivious to everything.)
(Chenin resumes the movie. Police come into Hannibal's cell and talk about him ordering lamb chops)
Clarice: They called you a son of a bitch! That's rude!
Hannibal: That's why I killed them.
Clarice: But. . .of all things, ordering extra rare lamb chops!!
(Hannibal smiles)
Clarice: Well. . .coming from you, it's not so bad. . .
(Hannibal unlocks his handcuffs with the piece of the pen)
Chenin: Dr. Chilton really is an idiot. . .
(Hannibal murders the policemen)
Clarice: H-HANNIBAL!!!! (clutches his arm tightly)
Hannibal: I know. It looks bad to you, Clarice. . .but it's what I do. . .
(Hannibal says, "Ready when you are, Sergeant Pembry")
(Clarice lightens her death grip on Hannibal and laughs nervously)
(Policeman says "What is this shit?")
(Chenin and Jessica burst out laughing and everyone stares at them)
Tiffany: What's so funny?
Chenin: It just sounds so funny when he says it!
(Hannibal shrugs)
(Hannibal's "dead-body decoration" is shown.)
Clarice: Oh. . .my. . .God.. .. .
Hannibal: (smiles) Does that disturb you?
Clarice: Uh .. .just a little. . .but.. .it IS what you do... . .
(Hannibal kisses her)
(Policemen shoot "Hannibal" in the leg and he doesn't move)
Clarice: Oh no, HANNIBAL!! He's DEAD!!!
Hannibal: Um. . .Clarice, I'm right here. . .
Clarice: Oh yeah. . .
(Hannibal gets off the stretcher and rips off Pembry's face)
Clarice: Ah! Now I remember! You used his face as a disguise! But how did you fake that seizure?
Hannibal: I'm very talented.
(Clarice smiles at him)
(Clarice tells Ardelia that Hannibal won't come after her)
Hannibal: Of course not. Not only would it be rude, but I wouldn't hurt the woman I love!
Clarice: I think I knew that was the reason, too. . . but I didn't want to admit it.
(Hannibal and Clarice smile at each other)
(Ardelia says, "Dr. Lecter said a lot of things.")
Clarice: (shakes her head) Ardelia just doesn't get it. . .
(Buffalo Bill is shown sewing)
Bill: (singsong voice) It's me again, it's me again, it's me again!
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHH!!
(Clarice and Ardelia figure out that Bill knew Fredericka Bimmel)
Hannibal: You're smart Clarice. . .you figured it out. . .
Clarice: (smiles) Of course!
Chenin: Ah, this is where it gets kinda boring! They don't show Hanni-baby again till the very end! All they show is dumb Buffalo Bill!
Bill: HEY!
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHH!!
(Clarice finds the "porn" pictures of Fredericka)
Jessica: Oh, gross!!
Chenin: Uh, yeah. . .
(Clarice finds out that Bill is making a woman's suit)
Bill: (whining) And I'm still not finished! I have to find a woman with a big enough butt-
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Bill is shown dancing "naked" as Katherine tries to catch Precious.)
Jessica: God, I HATE this part!! Put some clothes on, you freak!
Bill: That dumb bitch is mean to my dog! But, anyway, don't I look cool?! I love my woman's suit! I'm the best serial killer-
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHH!!
(Crawford's team is shown gathering near the house as Bill is shown with his moths.)
Clarice: Crawford had the wrong house, anyway. . .
Bill: Look, it's my babies!! My Death's Head moths! Aren't they beautiful! I just love my moths, they're so great! I-
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Chenin: They are beautiful, though. God, I can't believe I'm agreeing with BILL! But I am a friend to all creatures, great and small! (holds up her fist triumphantly)
(Everyone stares at her)
(Katherine is shown with Precious and Bill is pissed off).
Bill: DON'T HURT MY PRECIOUS!!!!!!!!!!! WHY YOU-
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Bill says his name is Jack Gordon)
Chenin: Jack Gordon my ass!!
Jessica: Isn't that the name of a racecar driver?
Mason: No, vat'sh Veff Gorshon, ftupid!
Jessica: Who are you callin' stupid, at least I can talk right!
(Bill says, "Is she a great big fat person?")
Jessica: That's so rude!
Hannibal: It is.
Bill: But she was a great big fat person!
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
(Clarice sees the moth while talking to Bill)
Clarice: Oh, I was soooo freaked out when I saw that moth!
Hannibal: I can understand that. Bill's strange enough as it is without being a serial killer.
Bill: HEY!!
Chenin: WOULD YOU JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!!!???
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Chenin growls)
(Clarice tells Bill to "freeze" and Bill runs off)
Hannibal: Rude. . .
(Katherine says, "NOO, Don't you leave me here, you fuckin' bitch, NOO!" to Clarice)
Hannibal: That's a bit rude. . .
(Jessica falls to the floor and rolls around laughing hysterically)
Chenin: Um. . .anyway. . .
(Everyone stares at Jessica, who finally calms and sits back down)
(Buffalo Bill looks at Clarice through night vision goggles and reaches out to touch her)
Hannibal: Don't you touch her, you- (tries to lunge at Bill)
Chenin: Uh... . .Hanni-baby. . .you can't kill him. I might get sued, remember?
Hannibal: Oh yeah. (sits back down)
(Clarice shoots Bill)
Bill: That was scary. Luckily I was able to escape at the last minute to a small hospital!
Mason: Just rike I wash avle to eshcape zat ravenoush pig!
Clarice: (whining) Why did they have to escape?
(Clarice graduates from the F.B.I. academy)
Clarice: (sighs) Back then they appreciated me. . .
Hannibal: Clarice. . .(hugs her)
Clarice: I won't give up though. I'll stay in the F.B.I. Even if they hate me. Even if I hate them.
Hannibal: . . .That's my girl. . .
(They kiss)
(Ardelia tells Clarice she has a phone call)
Hannibal: (smiles) A phone call. .. .
(Clarice smiles)
(The bug guy asks for a picture with Ardelia)
Clarice: They're so funny. . .
(Jack Crawford talks to Clarice)
Clarice: Crawford was the only one who appreciated me. . .
Hannibal: Well, that's just because-
Clarice: (shoves Hannibal playfully) Don't even start!
(Hannibal and Clarice laugh)
(Clarice takes the phone call from Dr. Lecter)
(Clarice and Hannibal snuggle close to each other)
(Hannibal says he's having an old friend for dinner and Dr. Chilton is shown)
Clarice: (laughs) Serves him right!
(Hannibal laughs)
(Hannibal walks out into the crowd and the credits begin)
Chenin: (turns off DVD) Well, did everyone enjoy the movie?
Everyone but Mason: YES!!!
Mason: No!
Chenin: Well, why the hell not?
Mason: (whining) I washn't in if!
Jessica: (sarcastically) Oh, boo hoo!
Chenin: Well, I hope everyone enjoyed our Halloween meeting! But it's time to go! Hannibal and Clarice, just take a minute to say good-bye.
Clarice: (sighs) I don't want to wait a half a week to see you again! But it can't be helped. . .
Hannibal: I understand. . .it's sad, but true. (pulls her close to him) Good-bye, Clarice. I love you so much.
Clarice: Oh Hannibal. (snuggles closer to him) I love you, too.
Hannibal: I'll see you at the next meeting.
Clarice: Definitely! (reaches up and touches his face) Hannibal. . .
(They kiss)
Hannibal: Good-bye. . .
Chenin: Okay, meeting's adjurned!
(Hannibal and Clarice look at her skeptically)
Chenin: (laughs) No, I really mean it this time!
Clarice: (takes a step back from Hannibal) Good-bye, Dr. Lecter. Hurry and leave, because in about an hour I WILL arrest you if I see you again.
Hannibal: Of course, Agent Starling. . .(smiles) Good-bye, Clarice. . .
(Clarice smiles back at him briefly, and then they each leave out separate sides of the building.)
Bill: Well, bye!!!! I had lots of fun!!
Chenin: (sarcastically) Yippie. .. .
Mason: Vye! Shee you guyv necsht fime!
Jessica: Good-bye to the pink bunny.
Chenin: Yeah. . .
Tiffany: Bye, guys!
(Everyone leaves, and the dogs follow)
Chenin: (dressed as a black cat) This Halloween meeting is the best idea I've ever had! And this kitty-cat costume is the best COSTUME I've ever had!!!
Jessica: (dressed as a ghost) I can't wait to see what everybody else is dressed as!
Chenin: It's 5 to 6. They should be arriving anytime now.
(Suddenly Buffalo Bill walks in, dressed as a woman)
Chenin: How come he always has to get here first?
Jessica: Look how he's dressed! He's so gross!
Bill: AHHH!!! A GHOST!!! (starts whimpering)
Jessica: (takes off the sheet on her head) It's just me, you freak!
Bill: Oh. . .I knew that. . .
Chenin: (rolls eyes) So, Bill, you decided to dress up as a woman, huh? How original.
Bill: I AM a woman! And now I have the body for it, too! I may start wearing this costume every day! Until I get my suit done, at least.
Chenin: Great. Do I have to look?
Jessica: Seriously. . .
(The door opens and Hannibal walks in dressed as a vampire)
Chenin: Thank GOD you're here!!
Jessica: I LOVE your costume!
Hannibal: Why, thank you. I am Count Hannibal!
Chenin: It's the perfect costume for you!
Hannibal: I know. (Transylvanian accent) Do you vant me to bite your neck?
Chenin: Uh, no thanks. You might really do it.
(Hannibal shrugs)
Chenin: Where's Tiffany?
Hannibal: Oh, she's coming a bit later. She had to finish her English project.
Chenin: Oh, okay.
Hannibal: (notices Bill) Lovely costume, James. Ridiculous, but fitting.
Bill: Well, I like it!
Hannibal: Of course you do. After all, you are a psychopath.
(Chenin and Jessica laugh)
Hannibal: Jessica, your costume is very original.
Jessica: Yeah, well I couldn't think of anything else to be. Besides, this sheet makes it harder to see Buffalo Bill.
Hannibal: I can't argue with that advantage. Chenin, your costume is VERY cute.
Chenin: (blushes) Oh. . .well, thank you, Dr. Lecter.
Hannibal: Oh, just call me Hannibal.
Bill: Okay, Hannibal.
Hannibal: Not YOU!!
(The door flies open and Clarice runs in, wearing an FBI uniform)
Clarice: Hey, has the meeting started yet?
Chenin: The meeting starts as soon as the first person gets here, so yes.
(Clarice runs up and latches onto Hannibal's arm)
Jessica: Why aren't you wearing a costume?
Clarice: I am! I'm being an FBI agent for Halloween!
Hannibal: But you are an FBI agent. Clarice: (shakes her head) No, you don't understand! (she pulls out a fake badge which says "Clarice Starling, Chief of the FBI") See, I'm being a chief agent! This way I can fire all the people that were rude to me! HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! (starts pointing to imaginary people and laughing maniacally) YOU'RE FIRED! YOU'RE FIRED! YOU'RE FIRED!! AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!
(The room is silent and everyone stares at Clarice)
Clarice: What?
Hannibal: Uh...nothing...never mind...
(The door opens and Mason Verger wheels himself in. He is dressed as a pink bunny rabbit)
Everyone but Mason: OH my GOD!!!!!
Mason: Dosh everyboshy rike my cute coshtume?
(Nobody speaks)
Mason: Herro? Do you all have rarengyshish or shomesing?
Clarice: Mr. Verger, you do realize you're dressed as a bunny rabbit, don't you?
Mason: Yesh, of coursh! I sink zat it fitsh my cute pershonalishy, don'sh you?
Clarice: Uhhhh. . .
Chenin: Okay, now I'm scared. . .
Jessica: Yeah. . .
(Hannibal and Bill nod, and Mason looks confused)
Chenin: Um, anyway, let's start this meeting, okay? (everyone sits down) First, the psychopaths must do their introductions.
Mason: Herro, my name ish Mafon Verver and I am a fycopaph.
Hannibal: Hello, my name is Dr. Hannibal Lecter and I am not a psychopath.
Bill: Hello, my name is Buffalo Bill and I am a woman.
Clarice: Uh, did he just say-?
Chenin: Yeah. Just humor him.
(Clarice nods)
Jessica: Okay, let's bring in the dogs, Chenin.
Mason: NO, not zuh dogsh!!
Chenin: Gotcha!!!!! OKAY, DOGS, COME!!!!!
(The dogs come in through a small doggie door. They are all wearing costumes)
Clarice: You gave the dogs costumes, too? That's cute.
Chenin: Yeah, I got these doggie costumes at Petco!
Jessica: Hey, tell everybody the good news!
Chenin: Okay. Guess what? Clarice is pregnant!
Clarice: WHAT!!!!????
(Hannibal starts looking VERY angry)
Chenin: I mean Clarice the dog!
Clarice: The dog?
(Hannibal relaxes)
Chenin: (points to one of the two dogs dressed as vampires) Yes, this dog's name is Clarice. She's the alpha female, and she's going to have puppies!!
Clarice: You named the dog Clarice?
Chenin: Yeah, and this is her mate, the alpha male. (points to the other dog dressed as a vampire) His name is Hannibal!
Clarice: Oh. . .(snuggles up to Hannibal) That's so sweet.
Hannibal: (puts his arms around Clarice) I'm so glad you think so.
Chenin: Well, anyway, let's get this Halloween party started!!
Bill: Can we play spin the bottle!!??
Chenin: Uh. . .maybe later. . .
Jessica: (whispering) Maybe NEVER!
Chenin: We're going to have a best costume contest, but we have to wait until Tiffany gets here. So let's start with bobbing for apples!!
Mason: Oh voy!! Vat fun!! Can I go firsht!?
Chenin: How do you suppose to do that when you can't stand up?
Mason: Shomevody can holsh me upf! Any vorunsheers?
(Nobody moves)
Mason: Awww!!!! Bush I wanna vov for afflesh!!!
Chenin: I know! Somebody can tip his wheelchair forward! That way they don't have to touch him!!
Bill: Okay, I'll do it! It's nice to be able to do a good deed!
Clarice: Good deed, my ass!! You're a vicious serial killer who kills and skins women!! You're a jerk and a freak and a disgrace to mankind and-
Hannibal: (covers Clarice's mouth) Clarice, you seem a bit high-strung today. Remember, if it weren't for that "disgrace to mankind" you and I never would have met. (uncovers her mouth)
Clarice: Oh. . ..that's true. . .(hugs Hannibal) Well, I suppose I'll try to be a little nicer to him. . .but not much!
Hannibal: Well, that's understandable. . . he is a psycho freak, after all. (kisses Clarice)
Clarice: Ahh, you're so wonderful! You understand me completely!
Hannibal: Well, I am a genius.
(Clarice laughs)
Chenin: (drags in a large wooden bucket filled with water and apples) Okay, it's time to start the game! Mason, you can go first.
(Bill wheels Mason up to the bucket and tips the wheelchair forward. Mason gropes around in the water for a while and comes up with an apple in his mouth)
Chenin: Good, Mason, you got one!
(Mason spits the apple, which has a big bite in it, back into the bucket)
Clarice: Mr. Verger!
Chenin: You're not supposed to spit it back in after you've taken a bite out of it!!!!!!
Jessica: EEEEEWWWWWW, GERMS, GERMS, GEEEEEEEERRRRMMMSSS!!!
Chenin: Alright, relax everybody! I anticipated a problem like this, so I brought another bucket! (drags out a new bucket filled with water and apples)
Hannibal: You're just ready for anything aren't you?
(Chenin smiles broadly)
Hannibal: Okey Dokey, I'll go next! (he walks up to the bucket, bares his vampire fangs, and dunks his head in. Moments pass, and then he comes up with two apples in his mouth, one on each side. Everyone claps)
Chenin: Now that's TALENT!!!
Jessica: Yeah, that's amazing, Hannibal!
Clarice: I always knew you were the best, Darling!
Hannibal: (takes out the apples and offers one to Clarice) I got this one for you, my dear.
Clarice: Oh, thank you, it looks delicious! (kisses Hannibal on the cheek and takes a big bite out of the apple)
Chenin: Hey, lemme go next! (tries to get an apple but is unsuccessful)
Jessica: (shakes her head) Pathetic. (shoves Chenin away) Now, watch the master at work! (Jessica tries to get an apple but fails as well)
Chenin: HA HA!!
Jessica: Shut up!
Clarice: Okay, okay, now I'LL try!
(Clarice walks up to the bucket and succeeds in getting an apple.)
Hannibal: Congratulations, Clarice.
Clarice: (smiles) Well, I'm not as good as you.
Bill: (loud, singsong voice) YAAY, YAAY, MY TURN, MY TURN!!
Chenin: Don't have a cow!
(Bill gropes around in the water and comes up with nothing. He sticks his head back in, gropes around some more, and comes up again with nothing. He sticks his head back in again, gropes around, and once again comes up with nothing. This continues for about five minutes.)
Chenin: Um, maybe we should move on to the next game.
Jessica: Yeahhhh. . .
(Suddenly the door flies open and Tiffany comes in. She's wearing a long red wig and an FBI uniform.)
Hannibal: Oh, hello, Tiffany.
Chenin: Hey!
Jessica: What are you supposed to be?
Tiffany: (smiles triumphantly) I'm Clarice Starling! See, now I can get Hannibal!
Clarice: (looks Tiffany up and down) Ummm, I don't think so.
(Tiffany sticks her tongue out at Clarice and clings to Hannibal's arm)
Hannibal: I must admit, I'm flattered, Tiffany.
Clarice: GRRRR. . .
Hannibal: Don't be jealous, Clarice. It doesn't fit your beautiful, courageous personality.
Clarice: Awww! You're just so sweet! (grabs onto his other arm)
Tiffany: Go away, he's mine!
Clarice: In your dreams!
(Clarice and Tiffany glare at each other)
Chenin: (Holds up hands) Okay, lets not argue now! It's time to start the costume contest!
Bill: WAAAAIIIITTTT!!!!!! I'm not done bobbing for apples yet!!
Chenin: You're not going to get one! Give up already!!
Bill: NEVER! I'll never give up!
Mason: You ifiot! (dunks Bill's head in the water)
Bill: How dare you dunk my beautiful face in the water!! Are you trying to drown me!? (dunks Mason's head in the water)
Mason: Why, you! (dunks Bill's head in the water)
(Soon both Mason and Bill are splashing around trying to drown each other).
Chenin: We might as well just leave them there. Nobody planned on voting either of them for best costume anyway, right?
Everyone but Bill and Mason: Right!
Hannibal: Hold on! I have to add the best part to my costume! (He turns around and when he turns back there is red blood dripping from his mouth.)
Chenin: I REALLY hope that's not real blood. . .
Jessica: Uh, yeah. . .
(Hannibal just smiles)
Chenin: (Pulls out a hat and a bunch of pieces of paper. Gives a piece to each person, along with a pencil.) Okay, write down your vote, fold up your paper and put it in the hat. I'll tally the votes.
(Everyone does so, and Chenin tallies the votes.)
Chenin: Okay! And the winner is. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Jessica: JUST TELL US ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chenin: HANNIBAL!
(Everyone claps as Hannibal takes a bow.)
Chenin: Actually the vote was almost unanimous, except for one vote for me!
Hannibal: That was my vote!
Chenin: Oh, thank you, you're so sweet!
Clarice: You didn't vote for me?
Hannibal: Clarice, darling, this vote is not by personal preference. I really think that Chenin had the best costume.
Clarice: What's wrong with MY costume?
Hannibal: It's. . . creative, I must say, but. . .you look the same as you always do. . .
Clarice: Hmph! (folds her arms and turns away.)
Hannibal: (shrugs) Well, I'm sure you all voted for me because you thought I had the best costume, not because you all like me the best, right?
(Everyone looks away innocently)
Hannibal: (sarcastically) Right. . .
Chenin: Anyway, It's time to get candy!
Hannibal: Chianti?
Chenin: No, I said candy.
Clarice: Where is it?
Chenin: It's all in this. . .Piñata! (pulls out a piñata in the shape of a jack-o-lantern)
Tiffany: A piñata? For Halloween?
Chenin: Well, I thought it would be fun. . .This way I didn't have to waste time making candy bags for everybody!
Jessica: (mumbling) Lazy. . .
Chenin: And we'll use this iron crowbar to hit the piñata with! (holds up an iron crowbar).
Clarice: Isn't that a bit dangerous?
Tiffany: Ooo, can I hit Buffalo Bill with it!?
Chenin: (clutches crowbar possessively) No! My crowbar!
Clarice: I guess that means she's going first.
Chenin: (sidles up to Hannibal, and looks at him sweetly) Hanni-baby? Will you be a sweetie and hang this up on the ceiling for me? (holds up the piñata)
Everyone but Chenin, Hannibal, Mason, and Bill: HANNI-BABY!!???
Hannibal: It's okay. I think it's cute! Of course I'll hang it up.
Chenin: (grins and latches onto Hannibal's arm) Thank you, Hanni-baby, you're so nice!
Jessica: When did she get so clingy all of a sudden?
(Hannibal hangs up the piñata.)
Clarice: (rolls up her sleeves) Right! I'm ready for this! I'll break that thing, no problem! Stand back, everybody!
(Everyone, Bill and Mason included, stares at her.)
Chenin: Uh, okay...
(Hannibal blindfolds Clarice and Chenin hands her the crowbar. Everybody backs away and Mason and Bill finally stop drowning each and watch. Clarice starts hitting the piñata wildly with the crowbar until it breaks open and all the candy falls out)
Clarice: (takes off blindfold and starts jumping up and down) YAAAY!! I WIN, I WIN!!!
Hannibal: You ARE a bit high-strung today.
Chenin: So much for the piñata.
Jessica: Well, let's all grab candy! Then we can trade! (Gives everyone a bag for their candy).
(Everyone runs in and grabs a bunch of candy and then returns to their seats)
Chenin: Okay, anybody want to trade?
Jessica: Lets see, I don't like these flavored Tootsie rolls. . .
Clarice: I'll take them! Those are good!
Bill: (whining loudly) I don't like any of this stuff!
Tiffany: NOW can I hit him with the crowbar?
Chenin: I'd say yes, but it's Halloween; a day of peace on Earth and goodwill to mankind!
Jessica: Isn't that Christmas?
Chenin: Shut up.
Hannibal: Well, what candy DO you like, Bill?
Bill: Anything that's a pretty pink!
Mason: You are rearry shcrewed uf!
Chenin: (mumbling) Who's the one dressed up as a pink bunny?
Tiffany: I guess I can give him one or two pink things.
Chenin: Yeah, I guess. . .
(Everyone gives Bill a few pink candies.)
Bill: Who wants my other candy?
Chenin: After you touched it? No, thank you.
(Everyone nods)
Bill: (holds his candy bag up to the dogs) Here, then you doggies can have my candy.
(All the dogs turn away)
Bill: Fine, then! Meanies!!
Chenin: Well, we only have one more activity. We have to watch a scary movie!
Clarice: Okay. What movie?
Chenin: (laughs evilly, then pulls out a DVD), "THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS"!!
Bill: Look, it's a Death's Head Moth on the cover!!! It's one of my babies!!!
Chenin: Whatever. . .
Clarice: What's it about?
(Chenin says nothing, only begins to laugh evilly again, first quietly, then gets louder until screeching maniacal laughter is echoing throughout the room.)
Clarice: What's THAT supposed to mean?
Jessica: Well, it's not really a SCARY movie, per say, but. . .I think you'll enjoy it!
(Chenin stops laughing and puts in the DVD)
Clarice: Hey! That's the forest by the FBI Training Academy! (a few moments pass) . . .OH MY GOD, THAT'S ME!!!!!!!!
Hannibal: What IS this movie about, anyway?
Chenin: You'll see. .. ..
Clarice: Oh gross, I'm all sweaty!! That was always a hard course to run. Wait a minute! "The Silence of the-" They're not going to show the lambs, are they!? (cringes in fear).
Chenin: No, they just talk about it.
Clarice: Oh, good.
(The man comes and tells Clarice that Crawford wants to see her).
Clarice: This is when I was given the assignment to interview you, Hannibal!
Hannibal: This should be interesting. . .
(Clarice starts talking to Jack Crawford)
Clarice: Wow, my accent was much heavier back then. . .
(Clarice looks at the newspaper clippings of Buffalo Bill)
Bill: Look! It's all about me! I'm so cool, I'm the best serial killer-
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Jack Crawford mentions Hannibal Lecter, and Clarice says, "Hannibal the Cannibal")
Clarice: I think this is going to be a really good movie!
Hannibal: Yes, it looks like it!!
(Jack Crawford tells Clarice to not let Lecter get inside her head)
Hannibal: He thinks he's so smart. . .but I'm glad he sent you and not someone else.
Clarice: (smiles and grabs Hannibal's hand) Me too!
(Dr. Chilton says that Hannibal is a monster.)
Hannibal: (in a low, angry voice) Dr. Chilton. . .
Chenin: Don't let him bother you! You flushed him down the toilet years ago! Literally!
Jessica: That's so gross!
Clarice: He called you an asset! How dare he treat you like some kind of object!!
(Hannibal smiles at Clarice and pulls her close to him).
(Chilton asks Clarice if she wants to go out with him that night).
Hannibal: WHY THAT- ! (Hannibal runs up to the TV and starts shaking it angrily) You damb dirty bastard!!!
Chenin: Um. . .please don't break my television. Then I can't watch Animal Planet!
Hannibal: Oh, sorry. . . (he returns to his seat)
Clarice: (kisses Hannibal on the cheek) I love you.
Hannibal: I love you, too.
(They snuggle close)
(Chilton says that Hannibal thinks that he's his nemesis.)
Hannibal: You ARE my nemesis, you-
Clarice: It's okay, sweetie. He's not worth your time!
Hannibal: You're right.
(Chilton says that Clarice is Hannibal's type)
Hannibal: Well, he IS right about that.
(Clarice smiles)
(Chilton says not to pass Hannibal any pencils or pens)
Hannibal: (bursts out laughing) You should listen to your own advice, you idiot!
Clarice: What?
Hannibal: I'll tell you later.
(Chenin, Jessica, and Tiffany laugh.)
(Chilton show's Clarice the picture of the nurse who Hannibal ate the tongue of).
Hannibal: That was one of my best meals. It's not my fault. She was rude! Rude people taste so much better than other people for some reason.
Clarice: I think I'm getting nauseous. . .
(Miggs says "I can smell your cunt")
Hannibal: (gets VERY angry) Why that. . .that perverted. . .that.. . that... . .
Clarice: Darling.. .(puts her arms around Hannibal and kisses him softly) It's all right.
(Hannibal sighs and holds Clarice close).
(Hannibal comes into view standing in his cell and says "Good Morning"
Clarice: (huge smile) There you are!
(Hannibal smiles)
(Hannibal says, "May I see your credentials?")
(Chenin and Jessica gasp loudly. Everyone looks at them.)
Jessica: It's an inside joke.
(Hannibal says that Clarice's badge expires in one week and winks)
Jessica: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
(Everyone stares at her)
Jessica: Sorry, but it's just so cute when he winks!!
(Hannibal smiles and winks at Jessica and Jessica looks like she's about to pass out)
Chenin: Calm down!
Jessica: (hyperventilating) But he's sooooooooooo cute!!
Clarice: Well, she IS right about that!
(Hannibal just smiles)
(Everyone watches intently as Hannibal and Clarice talk on the movie)
(Hannibal sniffs through the holes of his cell)
Clarice: Oh God, you look sooo handsome when you do that!
Hannibal: (smiles) I don't think I've ever gotten so many compliments in one day!
(Hannibal talks about the picture he drew of Florence)
Hannibal: Ah, Florence! It was wonderful going there for my. . ."retirement", so to speak.
Clarice: I don't know how I couldn't figure out that that's where you went! I should have thought of it immediately!
Hannibal: Ah, Clarice, are we reverting back to F.B.I. mode?
Clarice: (grins sheepishly) Oh, sorry.
(Clarice says, "This one likes to skin his humps.")
Bill: That's me! I'm so happy! This movie is all about me!! Yaay, yaay-
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Hannibal says, in a mock accent, "Oh, Agent Starling, do you think you can dissect me with this blunt little tool?")
(Clarice glances away, and Hannibal touches her hand)
Hannibal: You know that coming from me it doesn't mean anything.
Clarice: I know. . .(leans against him). I love you so much.
Hannibal: (puts his arms around her) It's okay.
(Hannibal goes into his long speech where he "analyzes" Clarice in a mock accent).
Clarice: Yeah. It bothered me so much then. . . (holds Hannibal's hand close to her chest and kisses it) But I didn't know you that well yet.
(Hannibal does his famous "Chianti" speech and slurps)
(Chenin, Jessica, and Tiffany clap)
Chenin: That's the classic scene!
Hannibal: Really? I do like it, myself.
Clarice: Me too!
Bill: When are they gonna show me?
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Everyone watches intently as Miggs spits at Clarice, and Hannibal tells her about Hester Mofet and yells for her to go. Then Clarice walks outside and sees the flashback of when she was young and is crying. Clarice clings tightly to Hannibal the whole time.)
Clarice: (almost in tears) God, I hated that so much. . .
Hannibal: (holds her close) It's all right.
(Clarice and Ardelia are shown at the FBI academy training and the male runners look back at them.)
Clarice: The perverts!
(Hannibal laughs).
(Crawford calls Clarice and tells her that Miggs is dead and that Hannibal did it for his own amusement.)
Clarice: No. If it was for your own amusement you'd have done it already. You did it for me, didn't you?
Hannibal: (smiles sadly) Yes. It was all for you.
Clarice: (hugs Hannibal) I don't exactly agree with your methods. . .but, thank you. Thank you so much.
Hannibal: (hugs her tightly) You're welcome. . .I love you. . .
Clarice: Oh, Hannibal!
(Clarice looks through the garage for information on Hester Mofet and finds Benjamin Rasbael's head. She returns to the asylum and Hannibal gives her a towel.)
Clarice: That was so nice of you! Chilton said not to accept anything from you. . .but screw him!
(Hannibal laughs)
(Hannibal says that Rasbael's death was the best thing for him because his therapy was going nowhere.)
(Chenin and Jessica laugh)
Clarice: (smiles) You are so twisted, Hannibal!
Hannibal: (laughs) Yes, but that's part of my charm!
Chenin: You can say that again!
(Hannibal talks about Jack Crawford being interested in Clarice sexually)
(Jessica bursts out laughing, and everyone stares at her)
Clarice: (laughs) Where do you get this stuff!!?
(Hannibal shrugs)
(Hannibal says that Chilton took his drawings)
Clarice: That bastard was so cruel to you!! I can't stand him!
Hannibal: Thank you, Clarice.
(Hannibal talks about being in the room for 8 years)
Chenin: That's terrible! You deserve your freedom!
Clarice: Yes. You do. (smiles sadly) Although I won't be saying that later. . .
(Suddenly Chenin gets an evil look on her face and pauses the DVD)
Chenin: Meeting's adjurned!
Clarice: (backs away from Hannibal) I WILL catch you, Dr. Lecter. I won't give up!
Chenin: Meeting's back in session!
Clarice: (hugs Hannibal) Hannibal, darling. . .I'm so sorry it has to be like this. Our lives are so different outside of this room. But I do love you! So, so much!
Chenin: Meeting's adjurned!
Clarice: (jumps off of her chair and away from Hannibal) Stay away from me Dr. Lecter! I'd arrest you now if I could!
Chenin: Meeting's back in session!
Clarice: (dives into Hannibal's arms) Oh, Hannibal! I love you!
Chenin: Meeting's adjurned!
Clarice: (pushes Hannibal away) Leave me alone, Dr. Lecter!
Chenin: Meeting's back in session!
Clarice: (hugs Hannibal tightly) Hannibal. . .
Chenin: Meeting's adjurned.
(Clarice backs away from Hannibal)
Chenin: Meeting's back in session!
(Clarice hugs Hannibal)
Chenin: Meeting's adjurned!
(Clarice backs away from Hannibal)
Chenin: Meeting's back in session!
(Clarice hugs Hannibal)
Chenin: Meeting's adjurned!
(Clarice backs away from Hannibal)
Chenin: Meeting's back in session!
(Clarice hugs Hannibal)
Chenin: Meeting's adjurned!
Hannibal: Stop doing that!
(Chenin falls onto the floor laughing hysterically. She starts pounding the floor with her fist and kicking her legs and keeps laughing. Hannibal and Clarice glare at her.)
(Chenin finally calms down and sits back in her seat.)
Chenin: (still laughing a little bit and is very out of breath) Okay, meeting's back in session!
Clarice: THANK you! (promptly sits down and leans against Hannibal)
Chenin: Okay, where were we? (puts the movie back on)
(The scene switches to Katherine Martin driving in her car and listening to music)
Bill: Hey! That's Katherine Martin!! Does that mean I'm gonna appear next!?
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
(Buffalo Bill is shown with his night vision goggles)
Bill: YAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!! It's MEEEEEEEE! (singsong voice) It's me! It's me! It's me! It's me!
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Bill's capture of Katherine is shown)
Bill: I'm so smart using a broken arm to get her into my truck! I'm the best serial killer-
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
(Jack Crawford tells Clarice about the women Bill has killed and tells her that if he had sent her in with an agenda Hannibal would have toyed with her and then turned to stone.)
Hannibal: Perhaps. . .
Bill: I'm the best serial-
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
(Jack tells the sheriff that they should talk in private without Clarice)
Clarice: Now THAT pissed me off!
Hannibal: I don't blame you. . .
(Clarice sees a flashback to her father's funeral and then they go to look at the body and Clarice tells the policemen to go away)
Hannibal: You are amazing, Clarice.
Clarice: (blushes) Oh, come on, it's no big deal. . .
(Hannibal just smiles and kisses her)
(They look at the body and find the moth)
Bill: See, I put that moth there! I'm so cool! I'm the best serial killer-
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Jack and Clarice talk about when he told the sheriff not to talk in front of her. Clarice says it matters what Jack does because it influences other cops.)
Hannibal: You ARE amazing!
Clarice: (blushes again) Oh, stop saying that!
(Hannibal smiles)
Clarice: You're so sweet. . .
(She talks to the bug guys and the one hits on her)
Clarice: (laughs) That was funny. . .
Hannibal: Did you go out with him?
Clarice: (grins) Jealous, darling?
Hannibal: (smiles) Only a little bit. . .
Clarice: (kisses him) We didn't go out, but I considered it.
(It shows Bill's house)
Bill: That's my house!
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(The Senator's plea is shown)
Bill: Well, I never watched that, so it didn't work!
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
(Dr. Chilton is mad about Clarice coming to see Hannibal again and Clarice disses him)
Hannibal: (smirks) Serves him right. . .
(Clarice tells Hannibal about the fake offer from the Senator.)
Clarice: Hannibal. . .I'm sorry. . .I'm sorry I lied to you. . .
Hannibal: It's all right. It was Jack Crawford's idea, not yours. And even if it was, it would still be all right.
Clarice: Thank you. . .
(They talk about Clarice and Hannibal says it would be something to know her in private life.)
Clarice: You do know me now. . .(kisses him)
Hannibal: I'm glad. . .
(Clarice says that the rancher she lived with after her father's death was a decent man)
Hannibal: If he was decent, then why did he send you away after the lamb incident? He should have realized that you were only a little girl and that it scared you. . .if he had really been a decent man.
Clarice: (looks down) I suppose you're right. . .
Hannibal: But that's over, I suppose. What's done is done. (kisses Clarice).
Clarice: Yes. (returns the kiss).
(Hannibal says Buffalo Bill only thinks he's a transsexual)
Bill: That's not true, you meanie!! I AM a transsexual! I'm the best transsexual and the best serial killer-
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(The lotion scene is shown)
Bill: Lookie, lookie! It's me again! YAAAY!!
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHH!!
(Chilton talks to Hannibal about the Senator offer scam and the pen is shown)
Clarice: The PEN!! I get it! Chilton really is an idiot if he left that there for you to take! Is that how you escaped?!
Hannibal: (smiles) Of course. How could I miss an opportunity like that?
(Clarice laughs)
(Hannibal says that Buffalo Bill's first name is Louis, and he'll tell the rest to the senator)
Clarice: (smiles) Your anagrams are showing, Dr. Lecter.
Hannibal: WHAT!? (looks down at his pants)
(Everyone gasps)
Hannibal: Oh. . . you mean word anagrams. . .
Clarice: Uh, yeah, but hey! You can show me your anagrams any time you want!!
Hannibal: (blushes) Uh. . .
Chenin, Jessica, and Tiffany: Me too! Me too!
Jessica: I'll show you my credentials if you show me your anagrams!
(Hannibal pales and Chenin and Jessica laugh)
Tiffany: THAT'S the inside joke about credentials?!!
Clarice: (laughs nervously) I, uh. . . guess so.
(Paul Krendler is shown)
Clarice: Damn Paul Krendler! You can barely even recognize him in this movie since he used all that plastic surgery to make him look younger!
Chenin: So THAT'S what he did! I knew there had to be some reason why he looks so different now!
Hannibal: Not now. I flushed him down the toilet, too, remember?
Chenin: (mumbling) Yeah, and so did that little boy on the plane. . .
Clarice: What is she talking about?
Hannibal: (shrugs) Oh nothing, I just shared some of Paul's leftovers with a small boy I met on a plane.
Clarice: Oh my GOD!!!! (looks like she is about to throw up)
(Chilton can't find his pen)
(Everyone bursts out laughing)
Clarice: I don't see why they had to tie you down so much, though. It must have been uncomfortable. . .
Hannibal: Yes, but I was used to it.
(Clarice sighs and leans against Hannibal)
(Hannibal talks to the senator)
Clarice: HANNIBAL!! I can't believe you said all that stuff! And to top it all off, "I love your suit???!!!!"
Hannibal: (grins) That's part of my charm, too!
Clarice: (groans) Still, I AM pissed at the senator for calling you a THING!!! And at Paul for calling you a son of a bitch!!! Jerks!!
Hannibal: (smiles) Thank you, Clarice. . .
(Chilton says, "MY name is Dr. Frederick Chilton. . .")
Clarice: (mumbling) Selfish son of a bitch. . .
(Clarice says they don't have a name for what Hannibal is)
Clarice: Yes they do! It's a handsome wonderful man that I love!
Hannibal: Why thank you, Clarice. . .
Clarice: (smiles brightly) No problem!
(Hannibal says, "People will say we're in love")
Clarice: (gasps) Oh. . .
Hannibal: What did you think at the time?
Clarice: I. . . just brushed it aside... . .I didn't want to admit that I was getting . . .slight. . .feelings for you. . .
Hannibal: Well. .. . we are in love. . .
Clarice: (smiles) Yes. . .even then I knew it. . .I always have. . .
(They kiss)
(Clarice says, "Your anagrams are showing, Doctor.")
(Everyone bursts out laughing.)
(Hannibal says that Bill covets)
Bill: I covet? How do I do that?
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Clarice tells Hannibal about the lambs)
Clarice: I'll just never forget that day. .. ..(clutches Hannibal's hand)
Hannibal: Don't worry. The lambs will stop screaming one day, Clarice.
Clarice: Only when you're with me. . .
Hannibal: I'm always with you. . .
Clarice: (snuggles close to him) Hannibal. . .
Hannibal: (holds her close) Don't worry. . .
(Hannibal looks sad and then says, "Dr. Chilton, I presume.")
Clarice: Hannibal. . .you looked so sad there. . .
Hannibal: I wanted to tell you his name, Clarice. . .but I couldn't do it in front of Dr. Chilton. I'm sorry. (looks at her sadly)
Clarice: Oh, Hannibal. . . (hugs him tightly) It's okay. . .
(Hannibal touches Clarice's hand and says, "Good-bye, Clarice. . .")
Clarice: At that moment. . .I didn't want to leave. . .
Hannibal: Clarice?
Clarice: I had a feeling I wouldn't see you for a long time. . .and I. . .wanted to stay with you a bit longer, and not just to find out Buffalo Bill's name. . .but I tried to ignore those feelings. . .
Hannibal: I see. . . Clarice. . .
Clarice: Hannibal?
Hannibal: I love you.
Clarice: I love you, too.
(They hold each other tighter)
(The picture Hannibal drew of Clarice holding the lamb is shown)
Clarice: Hannibal. . .you. . .drew that. . .?
Hannibal: I already knew I was in love with you then. Yes, I drew it from memory. Your face is something I can always see clearly. . .
(Chenin pauses the DVD)
Clarice: Oh. . .Oh, HANNIBAL!!! (throws her arms around him, crying quietly)
Hannibal: Cl. .. ..Clarice? (holds her tighter)
Clarice: I love you. . .oh, I love you. . .
Hannibal: (shaky voice) I love you, too.
Tiffany: That's sooooo sweet! (takes off her red wig and smiles) I think I'll let her have him. . .
(Everyone smiles except for Mason and Bill, who are oblivious to everything.)
(Chenin resumes the movie. Police come into Hannibal's cell and talk about him ordering lamb chops)
Clarice: They called you a son of a bitch! That's rude!
Hannibal: That's why I killed them.
Clarice: But. . .of all things, ordering extra rare lamb chops!!
(Hannibal smiles)
Clarice: Well. . .coming from you, it's not so bad. . .
(Hannibal unlocks his handcuffs with the piece of the pen)
Chenin: Dr. Chilton really is an idiot. . .
(Hannibal murders the policemen)
Clarice: H-HANNIBAL!!!! (clutches his arm tightly)
Hannibal: I know. It looks bad to you, Clarice. . .but it's what I do. . .
(Hannibal says, "Ready when you are, Sergeant Pembry")
(Clarice lightens her death grip on Hannibal and laughs nervously)
(Policeman says "What is this shit?")
(Chenin and Jessica burst out laughing and everyone stares at them)
Tiffany: What's so funny?
Chenin: It just sounds so funny when he says it!
(Hannibal shrugs)
(Hannibal's "dead-body decoration" is shown.)
Clarice: Oh. . .my. . .God.. .. .
Hannibal: (smiles) Does that disturb you?
Clarice: Uh .. .just a little. . .but.. .it IS what you do... . .
(Hannibal kisses her)
(Policemen shoot "Hannibal" in the leg and he doesn't move)
Clarice: Oh no, HANNIBAL!! He's DEAD!!!
Hannibal: Um. . .Clarice, I'm right here. . .
Clarice: Oh yeah. . .
(Hannibal gets off the stretcher and rips off Pembry's face)
Clarice: Ah! Now I remember! You used his face as a disguise! But how did you fake that seizure?
Hannibal: I'm very talented.
(Clarice smiles at him)
(Clarice tells Ardelia that Hannibal won't come after her)
Hannibal: Of course not. Not only would it be rude, but I wouldn't hurt the woman I love!
Clarice: I think I knew that was the reason, too. . . but I didn't want to admit it.
(Hannibal and Clarice smile at each other)
(Ardelia says, "Dr. Lecter said a lot of things.")
Clarice: (shakes her head) Ardelia just doesn't get it. . .
(Buffalo Bill is shown sewing)
Bill: (singsong voice) It's me again, it's me again, it's me again!
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHH!!
(Clarice and Ardelia figure out that Bill knew Fredericka Bimmel)
Hannibal: You're smart Clarice. . .you figured it out. . .
Clarice: (smiles) Of course!
Chenin: Ah, this is where it gets kinda boring! They don't show Hanni-baby again till the very end! All they show is dumb Buffalo Bill!
Bill: HEY!
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHH!!
(Clarice finds the "porn" pictures of Fredericka)
Jessica: Oh, gross!!
Chenin: Uh, yeah. . .
(Clarice finds out that Bill is making a woman's suit)
Bill: (whining) And I'm still not finished! I have to find a woman with a big enough butt-
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Bill is shown dancing "naked" as Katherine tries to catch Precious.)
Jessica: God, I HATE this part!! Put some clothes on, you freak!
Bill: That dumb bitch is mean to my dog! But, anyway, don't I look cool?! I love my woman's suit! I'm the best serial killer-
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHH!!
(Crawford's team is shown gathering near the house as Bill is shown with his moths.)
Clarice: Crawford had the wrong house, anyway. . .
Bill: Look, it's my babies!! My Death's Head moths! Aren't they beautiful! I just love my moths, they're so great! I-
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Chenin: They are beautiful, though. God, I can't believe I'm agreeing with BILL! But I am a friend to all creatures, great and small! (holds up her fist triumphantly)
(Everyone stares at her)
(Katherine is shown with Precious and Bill is pissed off).
Bill: DON'T HURT MY PRECIOUS!!!!!!!!!!! WHY YOU-
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Bill says his name is Jack Gordon)
Chenin: Jack Gordon my ass!!
Jessica: Isn't that the name of a racecar driver?
Mason: No, vat'sh Veff Gorshon, ftupid!
Jessica: Who are you callin' stupid, at least I can talk right!
(Bill says, "Is she a great big fat person?")
Jessica: That's so rude!
Hannibal: It is.
Bill: But she was a great big fat person!
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
(Clarice sees the moth while talking to Bill)
Clarice: Oh, I was soooo freaked out when I saw that moth!
Hannibal: I can understand that. Bill's strange enough as it is without being a serial killer.
Bill: HEY!!
Chenin: WOULD YOU JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!!!???
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Chenin growls)
(Clarice tells Bill to "freeze" and Bill runs off)
Hannibal: Rude. . .
(Katherine says, "NOO, Don't you leave me here, you fuckin' bitch, NOO!" to Clarice)
Hannibal: That's a bit rude. . .
(Jessica falls to the floor and rolls around laughing hysterically)
Chenin: Um. . .anyway. . .
(Everyone stares at Jessica, who finally calms and sits back down)
(Buffalo Bill looks at Clarice through night vision goggles and reaches out to touch her)
Hannibal: Don't you touch her, you- (tries to lunge at Bill)
Chenin: Uh... . .Hanni-baby. . .you can't kill him. I might get sued, remember?
Hannibal: Oh yeah. (sits back down)
(Clarice shoots Bill)
Bill: That was scary. Luckily I was able to escape at the last minute to a small hospital!
Mason: Just rike I wash avle to eshcape zat ravenoush pig!
Clarice: (whining) Why did they have to escape?
(Clarice graduates from the F.B.I. academy)
Clarice: (sighs) Back then they appreciated me. . .
Hannibal: Clarice. . .(hugs her)
Clarice: I won't give up though. I'll stay in the F.B.I. Even if they hate me. Even if I hate them.
Hannibal: . . .That's my girl. . .
(They kiss)
(Ardelia tells Clarice she has a phone call)
Hannibal: (smiles) A phone call. .. .
(Clarice smiles)
(The bug guy asks for a picture with Ardelia)
Clarice: They're so funny. . .
(Jack Crawford talks to Clarice)
Clarice: Crawford was the only one who appreciated me. . .
Hannibal: Well, that's just because-
Clarice: (shoves Hannibal playfully) Don't even start!
(Hannibal and Clarice laugh)
(Clarice takes the phone call from Dr. Lecter)
(Clarice and Hannibal snuggle close to each other)
(Hannibal says he's having an old friend for dinner and Dr. Chilton is shown)
Clarice: (laughs) Serves him right!
(Hannibal laughs)
(Hannibal walks out into the crowd and the credits begin)
Chenin: (turns off DVD) Well, did everyone enjoy the movie?
Everyone but Mason: YES!!!
Mason: No!
Chenin: Well, why the hell not?
Mason: (whining) I washn't in if!
Jessica: (sarcastically) Oh, boo hoo!
Chenin: Well, I hope everyone enjoyed our Halloween meeting! But it's time to go! Hannibal and Clarice, just take a minute to say good-bye.
Clarice: (sighs) I don't want to wait a half a week to see you again! But it can't be helped. . .
Hannibal: I understand. . .it's sad, but true. (pulls her close to him) Good-bye, Clarice. I love you so much.
Clarice: Oh Hannibal. (snuggles closer to him) I love you, too.
Hannibal: I'll see you at the next meeting.
Clarice: Definitely! (reaches up and touches his face) Hannibal. . .
(They kiss)
Hannibal: Good-bye. . .
Chenin: Okay, meeting's adjurned!
(Hannibal and Clarice look at her skeptically)
Chenin: (laughs) No, I really mean it this time!
Clarice: (takes a step back from Hannibal) Good-bye, Dr. Lecter. Hurry and leave, because in about an hour I WILL arrest you if I see you again.
Hannibal: Of course, Agent Starling. . .(smiles) Good-bye, Clarice. . .
(Clarice smiles back at him briefly, and then they each leave out separate sides of the building.)
Bill: Well, bye!!!! I had lots of fun!!
Chenin: (sarcastically) Yippie. .. .
Mason: Vye! Shee you guyv necsht fime!
Jessica: Good-bye to the pink bunny.
Chenin: Yeah. . .
Tiffany: Bye, guys!
(Everyone leaves, and the dogs follow)