Draco Angst Haikus

An All Holy Smartness Production (Plus Mako)

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My father beats me

Once a day, three times at night

Harry, save me please

I think this is pretty self explanatory.

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Yes, I have been bad

Spank me once more, Snape my love

Drumsticks are tasty

Because drumsticks are tasty.

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I puked up my lunch

I am still anorexic

Pass me a cracker

He's bulimic, too, folks! *Parrot squawk* Draco wanna cracker?

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I am like the ice

Snow falls delicately, my love

Lucius turns me cold

Daddy… daddy! ;_;

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Blood is like ketchup

Yeah, it courses down my wrist

Baby, don't you know?

 Sing it in a pop/sensuous tone. It's funnier.

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Brown locks and bucked teeth

Forbidden love of Muggle

The pain, it hurts me

Because what else would pain do?

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Flaming hair meets blonde

The freckles, they astound me

I weep for your touch

… Hey, we had to have Ron in here somehow. _

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Conflict of self grows

What is the point of it all?

Might as well end now

Angst, anyone? We'll buy it for you whole sale!

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Who will catch my tears?

Harry, Ron, Snape, or Dobby?

Someone save my soul

I like angst! It's really crappy! ^.^

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I wear leather pants

Bondage with pre-teens is fun

Spank me one more time

Because "spank" is silly.

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AUTHOR NOTES:

Voice #2: Why do you build me up, buttercup baby? Besides Buttercup, that little whore… Here we give you ten, high quality, Draco Angst Haikus!

Voice #3: Yup! The format is simple, folks. Try it out for yourself. Just 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second, and then repeat line number one (No, I mean in amount of syllables, not in actual text).

Both: We've read some pretty bad Draco Angst fics lately. And they turned out to be rather funny. Actually, hysterically funny. =D  Which, probably wasn't the author's intent… sooo… Here ya go.

Voice #3: We tried to cover all the aspects of Draco Angst we could find.
Voice #2: There's probably more, but we didn't want to look.

Mako: And I helped!! ^__^