Fifteen: First Communion
In a world made for five fingers, some things were almost impossible
with only three. Like keyboards. Oddly enough, he had no problem with
his bow tie, while others with five fingers would curse up a storm at
the things.
Kurti smoothed his clothes over and critically examined himself in the
mirror. White was traditional wear for first communion, true, but one
was also allowed to spruce it up with a touch of pale colour.
He'd worked hard all over Heirelgart and amongst the troupe for a
year, trading on good marks in school for monetary rewards, in order to
get the money to buy the yellow satin for his waistcoat. Mama found some
white mother-of-pearl buttons for it that set it off just fine. What
with that and the matching bow-tie (made from offcuts), Kurti fancied he
looked quite grown up.
He'd slicked his indigo hair back with Papa's bryl cream, and smoothed
his fur over three times so that it shone. He'd even worked with Frau
Schumaker for the footwear, so that he'd be like every other child his
age seeking First Communion, today.
Andrei was doubtlessly buffing up his first shoes to a mirror-like
shine as *he* got ready.
Mama was behind him. "Yes, love. You're beautiful."
Kurti smiled. "You don't think the ribbon on my tail is too much?" he
asked, showing off the little white bow that adorned its spaded tip.
"No, love. You look perfect. My little angel."
Kurti grinned at that.
Papa came in, laden with daughters. Erika, the youngest, sat astride
his neck, while Anja and Katja each monopolised a leg. All three were
squealing in delight. "Are we (oof!) all ready to go, yet?"
Kurti trotted to the door. "Ready, Papa!"
"Come on, darlings, no more free rides. You gotta walk on your own."
"Aaaaaawwww.... but *Papa*..." was the chorus from the trio of small
girls.
Nevertheless, they somehow managed to make their way to the village
church, where all the other faithful were gathered.
Jimaine looked like a miniature bride, resplendant in white chiffon
and a crown of flowers in her strawberry-blonde hair. Her twin brother
Stefan, however, looked a little bit grumpy to be stuffed in a white
formal suit.
"My *feet* hurt," he complained.
"You shouldn't have jumped all the way to church, then," said Frau
Szardos.
Kurti laughed at him. "Can't think ahead! Silly Stefan!"
"You'll be laughing on the other side of your face before sunset,"
said Stefan. "You'll see."
"What? You're gonna fight with me?" Kurti asked.
"No. I just meant you won't be happy," he said, sounding confused. He
held his head for a moment and sighed. "Sorry, 'brother'. I don't know
*where* that came from..."
Almost hidden behind her flowers and veil, Jimaine smirked.
"Hey, I don't mind. As long as you don't wanna ruin this *vest*. It
took me a lot of work to get it."
"Just *you*?" said Mama.
"And Mama, of course," Kurti grinned. "But she was kinda just showing
me what to do and how to sew."
"How to *sew*?" Stefan screwed up his face. "Isn't that a girly
thing?"
"It's a survival thing," defended Kurti. "You never know what you might
need."
Stefan murmured in doubt, but further debate was cut short by the
arrival of the third Impossible Brother, Andrei. He was stepping high so
that his new shoes caught the sun.
"Puff yourself up any further and you'll pop a seam," Stefan joked.
"Shows what you know about my Mama's sewing," said Andrei. He wore a
vest, too, and a matching bow tie in powder blue.
"Ooooh, nice," said Kurti.
"Yeah, I thought I'd better get something that your shed fur wouldn't
show too badly on."
"Funny, that's what *I* was thinking," said Kurti, elbowing his
Centaur friend in the ribs.
They laughed at that, and their respective families ushered them into
church.
Father Heigl was a kindly old man and not much to moving around,
especially in the winter, when his bones troubled him. He'd been part of
the Church forever, and a surrogate grandfather to every kid in the
village. Therefore, Kurti was surprised to see a second, younger figure
at the altar.
"Who's that?" Kurti whispered.
Papa just shrugged. Frau Szardos, in the pew behind, murmured, "He's
trouble." Her pronouncement caused a ripple of whispers throughout the
whole Church.
Trouble? How could such a nice-looking man be *trouble*?
Then Kurti remembered the *other* nice-looking people that Herr Weiss
knew and swallowed nervously. He was a beat behind the rest of the
congregation at sitting down, and he saw the new man startle, then
pretend everything was normal.
"Well, my bretheren," said Father Heigl. "Owing to a slight
miscommunication about dates, we have something of a pleasant surprise
for you, today. I would like to introduce to you, Father Gottfreid, who
will be taking over from me, one day. I know, I know, I vowed to work
this Church until the Lord Himself decides to take me to his bosom, but
I'm not as young as I used to be, and frankly, I need to take things
easier. So, by way of introduction, Father Gottfreid will be leading
today's services." And the old minister, the man who'd baptised Kurti,
took a seat.
Father Gottfreid took the stand and leaned on the podium. "When I
asked for my assignment in the Church," he began, "I asked to go into
strangeness, to see the unfamilliar and the untamed wilderness, to work
with the savage and the strange. I had thought, when they gave me
tickets and directions to Heirelgart, that I would have to *wait* for my
posting in a strange new land. Little did I know that they were sending
me exactly where I wanted to go."
Whispers broke out amongst the congregation.
"I wanted to go far afield to fight sin and corruption," Father
Gottfreid continued. "To convert the Godless heathen into the ways of
the Church. I have no doubt that I will have that work here."
Now they were murmurs.
"The Devil is an insideous beast," he said. "For he sneaks into your
hearts and minds and corrupts you against the word of the Lord. 'Thou
shalt not lie with the beasts of the field', 'Thou shalt not permit a
witch to live', and even though it is not written, thou certainly shalt
not permit a demon into your home."
Papa's hand tightened on Kurti's shoulder.
Kurti whispered, "But I'm *not* a--"
"Shhh..."
Kurti could feel waves of anger eminating from the Centaur population.
One really good way to irritate them was to compare them with animals,
especially if you speculated on their origins as well. They always said
that God made them just like He made Adam and Eve.
Father Gottfreid spoke on. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's
goods, yet I heard outside this house of God, children's voices
comparing the cut of their clothes. Avarice, Greed, and Sin live here.
The curse of God clearly rests heavily on some--"
The Jarelmanns each folded both sets of their arms.
"--and none of you see it as a curse. You go out and *exhibit*
yourselves for money. Like Godless, thieving Gypsies!"
The temperature dropped sharply.
"All this town needs is a *whore* to make it a completely new Gamorah.
You should be ashamed of yourselves! You think you can follow the
practices of the Church, and call yourselves christians, when the minute
you step out of Church you become steeped in *Sin*."
Father Heigl was weeping as he watched Father Gottfreid, his frail old
body wracked with grief.
"Repent, and you will be forgiven. Cast out the unholy, and you can
redeem yourselves. Turn you eyes towards God, and he *will* make you
see!" Father Gottfreid raised his arms as if he expected applause.
The congregation sat on their hands.
"That's more than enough," said Father Heigl. "You've just alienated
the entire village with your little speech."
Father Gottfreid was colder than the air temperature. "So which one is
the whore?"
Kurti had gone almost numb. But not numb enough to fail to notice Mama
and Papa gathering their things and his sisters. "Mama, Papa, *no*,"
Kurti hissed. "What about my First Communion? I wanna be recognised by
God." He *needed* to confess his sins and make his soul clean.
Papa sighed. "Kurti-love... I don't think you'll get it from that
man."
"I still wanna try," he said. "It's a special day. I wanna go through
with it. I - I *need* to."
And Papa hugged him and kissed him and whispered, "God bless you,
lad."
Behind him and around him, other children were protesting their
parent's departure. Stefan and Jimaine. Andrei. Little Jorgi. Tanja and
Heike. All of them wanted to have their First Communion. Their parents
were trapped from escape by simple childish want.
The rest, untethered by their progeny, stood, bowed to Father Heigl,
cut Father Gottfreid dead, and marched out of the church.
Father Heigl took the podium back, albeit rather focibly, and told the
remaining congregation about the three men who went to worship, and
which prayer gained which man entry to heaven.
"...and the third man just knelt at the altar and said, 'Lord, forgive
this sinner', and *he* was the one to enter the gates of heaven. We are
*all* the sinners before the Lord. Man is corrupt, but by following His
word, we can hope for salvation."
He lead them in song and prayer, and Kurti threw his heart into it,
trying to mean every word that escaped his lips in order to make up for
the missing congregation. But all the time, he felt Father Gottfreid's
glare boring into him.
Then it was time to queue with the others and confess for the first
time in his life. Kurti hung back at the end of the line because he knew
he had a lot to confess. He didn't want to hold anyone else up because
of his sins. His heart raced as he approached the box, dreading what
would happen, because Father Heigl was outside of it.
Still, he knew what he had to do, and he had to do it. For the good of
his soul. Once God recognised him, maybe he could finally have his
dearest prayer answered, and not scare people any more.
At last, it was his time to enter, and he crept into the darkness. He
felt almost comfortable again. The dark had always been friendly to him,
hiding him from bad people.
"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned," Kurti recited, "This is my
first confession. In my life, I --" his head suddenly emptied. "-- I...
um... I don't know where to start..."
"Start with the commandments you've broken," said Father Gottfreid in
a bored voice.
Kurti sighed with relief. "Okay. Um. Let's see. Do I have to confess
for throwing up on Mama and Papa when I was a baby?"
"No."
"Um... When I was three I kind of disobeyed Mama. I climbed up to
where she was on the high wire and asked her for cruller and I wouldn't
go down when she said 'cause she hadn't told me if I could have it or
not. Um. I ran away from home, once, but that was because I didn't want
Mama or Papa or the girls to get hurt 'cause of me. Um. I *was* a little
bit jealous when Stefan got a new bike for his fifth birthday. Um... I
got mad at a Nun once? She hit me 'cause Hans Katzenjammer stood on my
tail and I had to yell, and she'd just told everyone to be quiet. Is
that bad?"
"A little," Father Gottfreid allowed.
"Um. The thing is -um- I feel really bad about something? But I don't
think it's against any rules. Um. There's these people. They're sort of
sick. They want to do things with me. And they pay--" he paused. He
didn't want to make trouble. "--someone money so they can have time with
me. Heirelgart and Statleindorf -um- they're poor villages. There isn't
really enough ground to grow food on, andum... that's why we have the
circus? So we can make money to buy stuff so we can survive the winter.
Um. And these sick people? They pay five *hundred* Marks for one night.
That's a lot of money... but I feel *really* bad about what they want to
do... Mostly, it's just touching, but--" Kurti sniffed. "--it still
feels bad..."
"I should have known *you* were the whore," Father Gottfried hissed.
"You couldn't corrupt the good people of this village enough with your
presence to get the women to lie with strangers, so you became the whore
yourself. Filthy little devil. Who prostitutes you? Your parents?"
"*No*!" Kurti whispered. "It's someone else. Mama and Papa? They don't
know. I never told them. I never told *anyone*."
"Tell me the name of your *pimp*, demon. Tell me the name of the one
you corrupted with your vile presence."
"Um..." said Kurti. "I don't wanna make trouble. I don't wanna tell on
someone. 'Cause. Um. 'Cause... 'cause it's a lot of money that we
*need*, and it's just *touching*. Um. And - I don't want us to starve?
'Cause of something I did? But I want it to stop, anyway. I wanna stop
feeling so bad..." He sniffed again. "It makes me feel sick, sometimes;
what they do. And we need the money, or we'll starve. I don't like being
hungry. Nobody does. If everyone found out? They'd blame me."
"The blame *is* yours, demon," hissed Father Gottfreid. "The *sin* is
yours. Even if you prayed each holy prayer a hundred times, you would
not cleanse the sin from you. You *are* sin!"
"How 'bout two hundred?"
"Get out."
Kurti was pretty sure that wasn't how it was supposed to go, but he
went anyway, kneeling at the altar with his white-garbed compatriots and
murmuring prayers.
Two hundred of each, in his case.
Good thing he was used to talking... but all the same, his tongue felt
like old leather by the time he was done.
His knees ached and his elbows protested, but he knelt again to
receive Holy Communion. It was a small price to pay to get recognised by
God.
He closed his eyes for the eucharist, and heard on his right, "The body
of Christ." A pause, and on his left, "The body of Christ."
Kurti startled. Hadn't Father Gottfreid *seen* him? He stayed where he
was and prayed in his mind, because his tongue was weary. The cup came
by, borne by Father Heigl, but Kurti whispered, "I haven't got the bread
yet."
Father Heigl nodded and moved on.
A second time, Kurti readied himself for the eucharist. Again, on his
right, "The body of Christ," a pause, and on his left, "The body of
Christ."
And now there were adults either side of him, and Mama gave him a
little hug while he waited.
A third time, Kurti prepared himself. A third time, the eucharist
passed him by. This time, though, there was murmuring between both
Fathers. Agitated murmuring.
"No!" Father Gottfreid finally shouted. "I will not welcome that
*demon* into the Holy Church!"
The room temperature dropped some more.
"For the love of God, he's just a boy," argued Father Heigl. "He's six
years old. He only *looks* like that through an accident of birth."
"More likely his whore of a mother slept with the devil himself," said
Gottfreid.
Father Heigl, who captured mice live and set them free, who had never
in living memory harmed another living thing, *slapped* Father
Gottfreid. "Judge not," he said. "Lest ye be judged yourself."
Everyone gasped, shocked that he'd do such a thing. It was like
watching a butterfly go on a killing spree.
"Fine." Father Gottfried continued on as if Kurti wasn't there.
"Your pardon, sir," said Kurti. "I'm not going to go away because you
ignore me."
"No? We'll see, won't we?" And he finished off the eucharist, thus
concluding the ceremony.
_I can be twice as stubborn as you,_ Kurti thought, and stayed where
he was.
Father Heigl took one look at Kurti and stifled giggles behind his
gnarled hands for the rest of the service. The congregation had fallen
silent, and some drifted out while Father Gottfreid attempted to lead
them in prayer and song.
Gottfreid soldiered on, regardless, singing hymns a capella.
Kurti refused to sing until he had his Communion.
In the end, only the Guismanns, the Wagners, and the Szardoses stayed,
each pinned in their place by an Impossible Brother and their
determination to see one particular member of the Church take his bread
and wine.
Father Gottfried marched towards the main doors, preparing to greet
his congregation as they left.
He found his way blocked by a Centaur in white and powder blue.
"Get out of my way, Kentaur," he ordered.
The temperature dropped so low that it might have snowed inside the
Church. Kentaur was a vicious slur against Romani four-feet. So vicious
that most Centaurs kicked first and asked questions later. Therefore, it
was a minor miracle that all four of Andrei's big feet stayed rooted to
the ground.
"You can't leave," he said. "One of your flock still waits to eat."
"Let him wait until Hell freezes over," said Gottfreid.
"Then you're no man of God," said Andrei. "I'd hoof you if I thought
it'd do any good, but all it would do is give you another excuse not to
finish your work here."
"And a *child* will see it done?" Gottfreid arched a brow.
"And his father," said Herr Guismann. He stood tall for a change,
showing off both his impressive height *and* bulk. He was one of the
circus' strong men, and since his hair-end was most like a Clydesdale,
the rest of his body had to stay in proportion. He cracked his knuckles
in Gottfreid's face. "Now, I'm not a man of violence," he began, "but
I'm fairly certain that you can still serve bread and wine with at
*least* one broken arm. Maybe a few ribs or two, ne? And believe me,
ribs are hell. You can't set them like ordinary bones. You just gotta
let them go. Every time you breathe, it hurts; and you can't lift heavy
objects..."
Gottfried raised his chin. "I am a man of the cloth," he said.
"True. You wear the robes of a minister," said Herr Guismann. "But no
*real* minister would leave a member of his congregation unfed." He
calmly walked over to the threshhold of the Church and blocked it with
his body. "And since I'm not a violent man, I'll just sit myself here,
and if you can get past my son, I'll just toss you back to the Altar.
How's that?"
Gottfreid wisely backed away, and found that the other two exits to
the Church were blocked by the other two families.
Frau Guismann backed up Frau Szardos, and Andrei's elder sister Heidi
stood with Mama and Papa.
Father Heigl was tittering. "You see," he said. "Us mountain folk are
very accepting, and very protective of our number. I baptised young
Kurti, and he was no more a demon then, or now, than--" a beat, "--the
Pope is. He's been baptised several times, I think. Formally and
informally, by many, many holy men and women. No *demon* could withstand
so much holy water, don't you think?"
"Maybe it wasn't holy *enough*," said Gottfreid, and he made himself
comfortable.
Kurti rearranged himself so that his knees wouldn't hurt so much.
The sun crept towards the horizon, and Kurti wasn't very happy at all.
He looked to Stefan, who hung his head. His prophecy had come true.
Erika began to fuss, and Mama had to take her and the girls to Opa and
Oma's, and promised to be back with supplies.
Kurti filled the time with prayer, first formal, then informal, and
finishing with a whispered litany of, "Open his eyes, open his heart,"
over and over again.
Mama shook him. He'd been dozing. "I have a sandwich for you," she
offered.
"No, Mama," he said. "There's only one meal I want, and I'm gonna get
it, or I'm not gonna eat anything at all."
Mama went pale. "You're sure? You *know* you need to eat."
"I know," he said, determined. "I need to eat this more."
"I'll keep it," she said. "In case you change your mind."
Kurt settled into his habitual crouch. He could stay like that for
hours if he needed to.
Father Heigl read the Bible. Mama began to knit. Frau Szardos and Frau
Guismann also bought work out of their respective purses. Jimaine sat
crosslegged on the floor and yawned.
It was a further hour before murmuring was heard outside. Heirelgart,
drawn by its curiosity, no doubt surrounded the church and was
discussing the scene within.
Father Gottfreid laid himself out on a pew and tried to go to sleep.
"We shall over-co-o-o-ome..." sang Papa. "We shall over-co-o-o-ome..."
The others inside joined in. Even Father Heigl.
Heireglart heard them and joined in.
Kurti stayed where he was and prayed for Father Gottfreid.
After another hour, Gottfreid couldn't stand it. "What is the *matter*
with you - you - *people*?"
The Wagners, Guismanns and Szardoses stopped singing and grinned.
Father Heigl said, "Us Gypsies, we look after our own. Even the
adopted ones."
"Especially the adopted ones," said Papa.
Gottfreid went pale. "G-g-g-Gypsies? You're all--?"
"We're *all* Romani," said Margali. "As well as God-fearing
Christians. And freaks. And Sorcerers and sorceresses. We view
everything God throws in his path as a gift or a test or both at once.
And *you*, sir, are about to be sorely tested. Will you choose to see
with your eyes or your heart?"
Gottfreid folded his arms and clenched his jaw.
No answer. That meant there was hope.
Kurti went back to his praying.
It got dark.
Heirelgart kept singing. They'd moved on to songs about helping other
people, since _We Shall Overcome_ tends to pall after a while. Even to
the singers.
"Mama..." Jimaine whined. "I'm *bored*... Can I go to Oma's?"
"You'll have to go by yourself," said Frau Szardos. "Because your
brother and I are staying right here."
She moaned to herself and stayed where she was.
Minutes slipped away with the rest of the natural light. Votive
candles lent the Church some thin light. Neighbours bought by casseroles
for the beseigers inside - but nothing for Father Gottfreid.
"If the boy goes hungry," they reasoned, "so do you."
Father Heigl got blankets for his old bones as well.
Father Gottfreid shivered where he was and said, "He's a member of
your flock, too. Why don't *you* give him Communion?"
Father Heigl sipped hot chocolate. "I'm an old man," he said. "Not
long for this Earth. I must teach you to do everything *I* do, here in
Heirelgart. I must teach you to become a *part* of this community, and
accept the other parts of it as well. One person is as important as the
whole community, because one person can *make* the community."
Gottfreid fell silent, chewing over the problem.
Jimaine curled up in Father Heigl's lap for a nap.
Kurti went back to his mantra. _Open his eyes, open his heart. Open
his eyes, open his heart. Open his eyes, open his heart. Open his
eyes..._
_Sing._
Kurti startled. That voice in his head wasn't his, and didn't belong
to anyone he knew. It was calm and gentle, and sure that its command
would be obeyed.
_Sing, Kurti. It will work,_ said the voice.
Kurti looked up at the image of Jesus on the cross. _Was that you?_
_Sing._
He cleared his throat, just in case, and took a deep breath before
launching into _Ave Maria_.
Father Gottfreid was tired and hungry and cranky and even *more*
inclined to just throw the little blue devil out by the minute. This
place was *full* of sinners, and his Church had sent him into a nest of
Gypsies. *Gypsies*! The source of sin and vile nature. The spawn of
Cain, doomed to forever walk the Earth without a true home.
How dare they! Spurning Communion and the Word of God, just because he
refused to bless a demon. Didn't they see him for what he *was*?
At the altar, the demon cleared his throat. Was he going to renounce
his evil? Or was he going to give up and reveal his true nature?
A pure voice from heaven sang, "_Ave Maria, gratia plena, Dominus
tecum..._"
Father Gottfreid gasped. Was this a reward for his steadfastness
against evil?
"_Benedicta tu in mulieribus, et benedictus fructus ventris tui,
Iesus..._"
Then he noticed that the little demon's mouth was moving. *He* was the
source of that heavenly voice...
"_Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc, et in
hora mortis nostrae. Amen._" And the demon turned his glowing eyes to
the cross as if to say, _Did I do it right?_
Gottfreid was dumbstruck.
The little boy took another breath and started again.
Tears fell from Gottfreid's eyes. How could something from Heaven
issue from a body clearly made for Hell?
Unless...
He wasn't meant for Hell at all.
Gottfreid waited for the last note to die. "Father," he said, voice
rough from under-use. "Where's the spare wine and wafers?"
It became the first First Communion at a Midnight Mass, and the
waiting village outside swarmed in to take what they'd missed that
morning. The singing was joyous and celebratory, the people welcoming
and warm.
His sermon that time was simple, "God forgive me for being a stupid
man."
In a world made for five fingers, some things were almost impossible
with only three. Like keyboards. Oddly enough, he had no problem with
his bow tie, while others with five fingers would curse up a storm at
the things.
Kurti smoothed his clothes over and critically examined himself in the
mirror. White was traditional wear for first communion, true, but one
was also allowed to spruce it up with a touch of pale colour.
He'd worked hard all over Heirelgart and amongst the troupe for a
year, trading on good marks in school for monetary rewards, in order to
get the money to buy the yellow satin for his waistcoat. Mama found some
white mother-of-pearl buttons for it that set it off just fine. What
with that and the matching bow-tie (made from offcuts), Kurti fancied he
looked quite grown up.
He'd slicked his indigo hair back with Papa's bryl cream, and smoothed
his fur over three times so that it shone. He'd even worked with Frau
Schumaker for the footwear, so that he'd be like every other child his
age seeking First Communion, today.
Andrei was doubtlessly buffing up his first shoes to a mirror-like
shine as *he* got ready.
Mama was behind him. "Yes, love. You're beautiful."
Kurti smiled. "You don't think the ribbon on my tail is too much?" he
asked, showing off the little white bow that adorned its spaded tip.
"No, love. You look perfect. My little angel."
Kurti grinned at that.
Papa came in, laden with daughters. Erika, the youngest, sat astride
his neck, while Anja and Katja each monopolised a leg. All three were
squealing in delight. "Are we (oof!) all ready to go, yet?"
Kurti trotted to the door. "Ready, Papa!"
"Come on, darlings, no more free rides. You gotta walk on your own."
"Aaaaaawwww.... but *Papa*..." was the chorus from the trio of small
girls.
Nevertheless, they somehow managed to make their way to the village
church, where all the other faithful were gathered.
Jimaine looked like a miniature bride, resplendant in white chiffon
and a crown of flowers in her strawberry-blonde hair. Her twin brother
Stefan, however, looked a little bit grumpy to be stuffed in a white
formal suit.
"My *feet* hurt," he complained.
"You shouldn't have jumped all the way to church, then," said Frau
Szardos.
Kurti laughed at him. "Can't think ahead! Silly Stefan!"
"You'll be laughing on the other side of your face before sunset,"
said Stefan. "You'll see."
"What? You're gonna fight with me?" Kurti asked.
"No. I just meant you won't be happy," he said, sounding confused. He
held his head for a moment and sighed. "Sorry, 'brother'. I don't know
*where* that came from..."
Almost hidden behind her flowers and veil, Jimaine smirked.
"Hey, I don't mind. As long as you don't wanna ruin this *vest*. It
took me a lot of work to get it."
"Just *you*?" said Mama.
"And Mama, of course," Kurti grinned. "But she was kinda just showing
me what to do and how to sew."
"How to *sew*?" Stefan screwed up his face. "Isn't that a girly
thing?"
"It's a survival thing," defended Kurti. "You never know what you might
need."
Stefan murmured in doubt, but further debate was cut short by the
arrival of the third Impossible Brother, Andrei. He was stepping high so
that his new shoes caught the sun.
"Puff yourself up any further and you'll pop a seam," Stefan joked.
"Shows what you know about my Mama's sewing," said Andrei. He wore a
vest, too, and a matching bow tie in powder blue.
"Ooooh, nice," said Kurti.
"Yeah, I thought I'd better get something that your shed fur wouldn't
show too badly on."
"Funny, that's what *I* was thinking," said Kurti, elbowing his
Centaur friend in the ribs.
They laughed at that, and their respective families ushered them into
church.
Father Heigl was a kindly old man and not much to moving around,
especially in the winter, when his bones troubled him. He'd been part of
the Church forever, and a surrogate grandfather to every kid in the
village. Therefore, Kurti was surprised to see a second, younger figure
at the altar.
"Who's that?" Kurti whispered.
Papa just shrugged. Frau Szardos, in the pew behind, murmured, "He's
trouble." Her pronouncement caused a ripple of whispers throughout the
whole Church.
Trouble? How could such a nice-looking man be *trouble*?
Then Kurti remembered the *other* nice-looking people that Herr Weiss
knew and swallowed nervously. He was a beat behind the rest of the
congregation at sitting down, and he saw the new man startle, then
pretend everything was normal.
"Well, my bretheren," said Father Heigl. "Owing to a slight
miscommunication about dates, we have something of a pleasant surprise
for you, today. I would like to introduce to you, Father Gottfreid, who
will be taking over from me, one day. I know, I know, I vowed to work
this Church until the Lord Himself decides to take me to his bosom, but
I'm not as young as I used to be, and frankly, I need to take things
easier. So, by way of introduction, Father Gottfreid will be leading
today's services." And the old minister, the man who'd baptised Kurti,
took a seat.
Father Gottfreid took the stand and leaned on the podium. "When I
asked for my assignment in the Church," he began, "I asked to go into
strangeness, to see the unfamilliar and the untamed wilderness, to work
with the savage and the strange. I had thought, when they gave me
tickets and directions to Heirelgart, that I would have to *wait* for my
posting in a strange new land. Little did I know that they were sending
me exactly where I wanted to go."
Whispers broke out amongst the congregation.
"I wanted to go far afield to fight sin and corruption," Father
Gottfreid continued. "To convert the Godless heathen into the ways of
the Church. I have no doubt that I will have that work here."
Now they were murmurs.
"The Devil is an insideous beast," he said. "For he sneaks into your
hearts and minds and corrupts you against the word of the Lord. 'Thou
shalt not lie with the beasts of the field', 'Thou shalt not permit a
witch to live', and even though it is not written, thou certainly shalt
not permit a demon into your home."
Papa's hand tightened on Kurti's shoulder.
Kurti whispered, "But I'm *not* a--"
"Shhh..."
Kurti could feel waves of anger eminating from the Centaur population.
One really good way to irritate them was to compare them with animals,
especially if you speculated on their origins as well. They always said
that God made them just like He made Adam and Eve.
Father Gottfreid spoke on. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's
goods, yet I heard outside this house of God, children's voices
comparing the cut of their clothes. Avarice, Greed, and Sin live here.
The curse of God clearly rests heavily on some--"
The Jarelmanns each folded both sets of their arms.
"--and none of you see it as a curse. You go out and *exhibit*
yourselves for money. Like Godless, thieving Gypsies!"
The temperature dropped sharply.
"All this town needs is a *whore* to make it a completely new Gamorah.
You should be ashamed of yourselves! You think you can follow the
practices of the Church, and call yourselves christians, when the minute
you step out of Church you become steeped in *Sin*."
Father Heigl was weeping as he watched Father Gottfreid, his frail old
body wracked with grief.
"Repent, and you will be forgiven. Cast out the unholy, and you can
redeem yourselves. Turn you eyes towards God, and he *will* make you
see!" Father Gottfreid raised his arms as if he expected applause.
The congregation sat on their hands.
"That's more than enough," said Father Heigl. "You've just alienated
the entire village with your little speech."
Father Gottfreid was colder than the air temperature. "So which one is
the whore?"
Kurti had gone almost numb. But not numb enough to fail to notice Mama
and Papa gathering their things and his sisters. "Mama, Papa, *no*,"
Kurti hissed. "What about my First Communion? I wanna be recognised by
God." He *needed* to confess his sins and make his soul clean.
Papa sighed. "Kurti-love... I don't think you'll get it from that
man."
"I still wanna try," he said. "It's a special day. I wanna go through
with it. I - I *need* to."
And Papa hugged him and kissed him and whispered, "God bless you,
lad."
Behind him and around him, other children were protesting their
parent's departure. Stefan and Jimaine. Andrei. Little Jorgi. Tanja and
Heike. All of them wanted to have their First Communion. Their parents
were trapped from escape by simple childish want.
The rest, untethered by their progeny, stood, bowed to Father Heigl,
cut Father Gottfreid dead, and marched out of the church.
Father Heigl took the podium back, albeit rather focibly, and told the
remaining congregation about the three men who went to worship, and
which prayer gained which man entry to heaven.
"...and the third man just knelt at the altar and said, 'Lord, forgive
this sinner', and *he* was the one to enter the gates of heaven. We are
*all* the sinners before the Lord. Man is corrupt, but by following His
word, we can hope for salvation."
He lead them in song and prayer, and Kurti threw his heart into it,
trying to mean every word that escaped his lips in order to make up for
the missing congregation. But all the time, he felt Father Gottfreid's
glare boring into him.
Then it was time to queue with the others and confess for the first
time in his life. Kurti hung back at the end of the line because he knew
he had a lot to confess. He didn't want to hold anyone else up because
of his sins. His heart raced as he approached the box, dreading what
would happen, because Father Heigl was outside of it.
Still, he knew what he had to do, and he had to do it. For the good of
his soul. Once God recognised him, maybe he could finally have his
dearest prayer answered, and not scare people any more.
At last, it was his time to enter, and he crept into the darkness. He
felt almost comfortable again. The dark had always been friendly to him,
hiding him from bad people.
"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned," Kurti recited, "This is my
first confession. In my life, I --" his head suddenly emptied. "-- I...
um... I don't know where to start..."
"Start with the commandments you've broken," said Father Gottfreid in
a bored voice.
Kurti sighed with relief. "Okay. Um. Let's see. Do I have to confess
for throwing up on Mama and Papa when I was a baby?"
"No."
"Um... When I was three I kind of disobeyed Mama. I climbed up to
where she was on the high wire and asked her for cruller and I wouldn't
go down when she said 'cause she hadn't told me if I could have it or
not. Um. I ran away from home, once, but that was because I didn't want
Mama or Papa or the girls to get hurt 'cause of me. Um. I *was* a little
bit jealous when Stefan got a new bike for his fifth birthday. Um... I
got mad at a Nun once? She hit me 'cause Hans Katzenjammer stood on my
tail and I had to yell, and she'd just told everyone to be quiet. Is
that bad?"
"A little," Father Gottfreid allowed.
"Um. The thing is -um- I feel really bad about something? But I don't
think it's against any rules. Um. There's these people. They're sort of
sick. They want to do things with me. And they pay--" he paused. He
didn't want to make trouble. "--someone money so they can have time with
me. Heirelgart and Statleindorf -um- they're poor villages. There isn't
really enough ground to grow food on, andum... that's why we have the
circus? So we can make money to buy stuff so we can survive the winter.
Um. And these sick people? They pay five *hundred* Marks for one night.
That's a lot of money... but I feel *really* bad about what they want to
do... Mostly, it's just touching, but--" Kurti sniffed. "--it still
feels bad..."
"I should have known *you* were the whore," Father Gottfried hissed.
"You couldn't corrupt the good people of this village enough with your
presence to get the women to lie with strangers, so you became the whore
yourself. Filthy little devil. Who prostitutes you? Your parents?"
"*No*!" Kurti whispered. "It's someone else. Mama and Papa? They don't
know. I never told them. I never told *anyone*."
"Tell me the name of your *pimp*, demon. Tell me the name of the one
you corrupted with your vile presence."
"Um..." said Kurti. "I don't wanna make trouble. I don't wanna tell on
someone. 'Cause. Um. 'Cause... 'cause it's a lot of money that we
*need*, and it's just *touching*. Um. And - I don't want us to starve?
'Cause of something I did? But I want it to stop, anyway. I wanna stop
feeling so bad..." He sniffed again. "It makes me feel sick, sometimes;
what they do. And we need the money, or we'll starve. I don't like being
hungry. Nobody does. If everyone found out? They'd blame me."
"The blame *is* yours, demon," hissed Father Gottfreid. "The *sin* is
yours. Even if you prayed each holy prayer a hundred times, you would
not cleanse the sin from you. You *are* sin!"
"How 'bout two hundred?"
"Get out."
Kurti was pretty sure that wasn't how it was supposed to go, but he
went anyway, kneeling at the altar with his white-garbed compatriots and
murmuring prayers.
Two hundred of each, in his case.
Good thing he was used to talking... but all the same, his tongue felt
like old leather by the time he was done.
His knees ached and his elbows protested, but he knelt again to
receive Holy Communion. It was a small price to pay to get recognised by
God.
He closed his eyes for the eucharist, and heard on his right, "The body
of Christ." A pause, and on his left, "The body of Christ."
Kurti startled. Hadn't Father Gottfreid *seen* him? He stayed where he
was and prayed in his mind, because his tongue was weary. The cup came
by, borne by Father Heigl, but Kurti whispered, "I haven't got the bread
yet."
Father Heigl nodded and moved on.
A second time, Kurti readied himself for the eucharist. Again, on his
right, "The body of Christ," a pause, and on his left, "The body of
Christ."
And now there were adults either side of him, and Mama gave him a
little hug while he waited.
A third time, Kurti prepared himself. A third time, the eucharist
passed him by. This time, though, there was murmuring between both
Fathers. Agitated murmuring.
"No!" Father Gottfreid finally shouted. "I will not welcome that
*demon* into the Holy Church!"
The room temperature dropped some more.
"For the love of God, he's just a boy," argued Father Heigl. "He's six
years old. He only *looks* like that through an accident of birth."
"More likely his whore of a mother slept with the devil himself," said
Gottfreid.
Father Heigl, who captured mice live and set them free, who had never
in living memory harmed another living thing, *slapped* Father
Gottfreid. "Judge not," he said. "Lest ye be judged yourself."
Everyone gasped, shocked that he'd do such a thing. It was like
watching a butterfly go on a killing spree.
"Fine." Father Gottfried continued on as if Kurti wasn't there.
"Your pardon, sir," said Kurti. "I'm not going to go away because you
ignore me."
"No? We'll see, won't we?" And he finished off the eucharist, thus
concluding the ceremony.
_I can be twice as stubborn as you,_ Kurti thought, and stayed where
he was.
Father Heigl took one look at Kurti and stifled giggles behind his
gnarled hands for the rest of the service. The congregation had fallen
silent, and some drifted out while Father Gottfreid attempted to lead
them in prayer and song.
Gottfreid soldiered on, regardless, singing hymns a capella.
Kurti refused to sing until he had his Communion.
In the end, only the Guismanns, the Wagners, and the Szardoses stayed,
each pinned in their place by an Impossible Brother and their
determination to see one particular member of the Church take his bread
and wine.
Father Gottfried marched towards the main doors, preparing to greet
his congregation as they left.
He found his way blocked by a Centaur in white and powder blue.
"Get out of my way, Kentaur," he ordered.
The temperature dropped so low that it might have snowed inside the
Church. Kentaur was a vicious slur against Romani four-feet. So vicious
that most Centaurs kicked first and asked questions later. Therefore, it
was a minor miracle that all four of Andrei's big feet stayed rooted to
the ground.
"You can't leave," he said. "One of your flock still waits to eat."
"Let him wait until Hell freezes over," said Gottfreid.
"Then you're no man of God," said Andrei. "I'd hoof you if I thought
it'd do any good, but all it would do is give you another excuse not to
finish your work here."
"And a *child* will see it done?" Gottfreid arched a brow.
"And his father," said Herr Guismann. He stood tall for a change,
showing off both his impressive height *and* bulk. He was one of the
circus' strong men, and since his hair-end was most like a Clydesdale,
the rest of his body had to stay in proportion. He cracked his knuckles
in Gottfreid's face. "Now, I'm not a man of violence," he began, "but
I'm fairly certain that you can still serve bread and wine with at
*least* one broken arm. Maybe a few ribs or two, ne? And believe me,
ribs are hell. You can't set them like ordinary bones. You just gotta
let them go. Every time you breathe, it hurts; and you can't lift heavy
objects..."
Gottfried raised his chin. "I am a man of the cloth," he said.
"True. You wear the robes of a minister," said Herr Guismann. "But no
*real* minister would leave a member of his congregation unfed." He
calmly walked over to the threshhold of the Church and blocked it with
his body. "And since I'm not a violent man, I'll just sit myself here,
and if you can get past my son, I'll just toss you back to the Altar.
How's that?"
Gottfreid wisely backed away, and found that the other two exits to
the Church were blocked by the other two families.
Frau Guismann backed up Frau Szardos, and Andrei's elder sister Heidi
stood with Mama and Papa.
Father Heigl was tittering. "You see," he said. "Us mountain folk are
very accepting, and very protective of our number. I baptised young
Kurti, and he was no more a demon then, or now, than--" a beat, "--the
Pope is. He's been baptised several times, I think. Formally and
informally, by many, many holy men and women. No *demon* could withstand
so much holy water, don't you think?"
"Maybe it wasn't holy *enough*," said Gottfreid, and he made himself
comfortable.
Kurti rearranged himself so that his knees wouldn't hurt so much.
The sun crept towards the horizon, and Kurti wasn't very happy at all.
He looked to Stefan, who hung his head. His prophecy had come true.
Erika began to fuss, and Mama had to take her and the girls to Opa and
Oma's, and promised to be back with supplies.
Kurti filled the time with prayer, first formal, then informal, and
finishing with a whispered litany of, "Open his eyes, open his heart,"
over and over again.
Mama shook him. He'd been dozing. "I have a sandwich for you," she
offered.
"No, Mama," he said. "There's only one meal I want, and I'm gonna get
it, or I'm not gonna eat anything at all."
Mama went pale. "You're sure? You *know* you need to eat."
"I know," he said, determined. "I need to eat this more."
"I'll keep it," she said. "In case you change your mind."
Kurt settled into his habitual crouch. He could stay like that for
hours if he needed to.
Father Heigl read the Bible. Mama began to knit. Frau Szardos and Frau
Guismann also bought work out of their respective purses. Jimaine sat
crosslegged on the floor and yawned.
It was a further hour before murmuring was heard outside. Heirelgart,
drawn by its curiosity, no doubt surrounded the church and was
discussing the scene within.
Father Gottfreid laid himself out on a pew and tried to go to sleep.
"We shall over-co-o-o-ome..." sang Papa. "We shall over-co-o-o-ome..."
The others inside joined in. Even Father Heigl.
Heireglart heard them and joined in.
Kurti stayed where he was and prayed for Father Gottfreid.
After another hour, Gottfreid couldn't stand it. "What is the *matter*
with you - you - *people*?"
The Wagners, Guismanns and Szardoses stopped singing and grinned.
Father Heigl said, "Us Gypsies, we look after our own. Even the
adopted ones."
"Especially the adopted ones," said Papa.
Gottfreid went pale. "G-g-g-Gypsies? You're all--?"
"We're *all* Romani," said Margali. "As well as God-fearing
Christians. And freaks. And Sorcerers and sorceresses. We view
everything God throws in his path as a gift or a test or both at once.
And *you*, sir, are about to be sorely tested. Will you choose to see
with your eyes or your heart?"
Gottfreid folded his arms and clenched his jaw.
No answer. That meant there was hope.
Kurti went back to his praying.
It got dark.
Heirelgart kept singing. They'd moved on to songs about helping other
people, since _We Shall Overcome_ tends to pall after a while. Even to
the singers.
"Mama..." Jimaine whined. "I'm *bored*... Can I go to Oma's?"
"You'll have to go by yourself," said Frau Szardos. "Because your
brother and I are staying right here."
She moaned to herself and stayed where she was.
Minutes slipped away with the rest of the natural light. Votive
candles lent the Church some thin light. Neighbours bought by casseroles
for the beseigers inside - but nothing for Father Gottfreid.
"If the boy goes hungry," they reasoned, "so do you."
Father Heigl got blankets for his old bones as well.
Father Gottfreid shivered where he was and said, "He's a member of
your flock, too. Why don't *you* give him Communion?"
Father Heigl sipped hot chocolate. "I'm an old man," he said. "Not
long for this Earth. I must teach you to do everything *I* do, here in
Heirelgart. I must teach you to become a *part* of this community, and
accept the other parts of it as well. One person is as important as the
whole community, because one person can *make* the community."
Gottfreid fell silent, chewing over the problem.
Jimaine curled up in Father Heigl's lap for a nap.
Kurti went back to his mantra. _Open his eyes, open his heart. Open
his eyes, open his heart. Open his eyes, open his heart. Open his
eyes..._
_Sing._
Kurti startled. That voice in his head wasn't his, and didn't belong
to anyone he knew. It was calm and gentle, and sure that its command
would be obeyed.
_Sing, Kurti. It will work,_ said the voice.
Kurti looked up at the image of Jesus on the cross. _Was that you?_
_Sing._
He cleared his throat, just in case, and took a deep breath before
launching into _Ave Maria_.
Father Gottfreid was tired and hungry and cranky and even *more*
inclined to just throw the little blue devil out by the minute. This
place was *full* of sinners, and his Church had sent him into a nest of
Gypsies. *Gypsies*! The source of sin and vile nature. The spawn of
Cain, doomed to forever walk the Earth without a true home.
How dare they! Spurning Communion and the Word of God, just because he
refused to bless a demon. Didn't they see him for what he *was*?
At the altar, the demon cleared his throat. Was he going to renounce
his evil? Or was he going to give up and reveal his true nature?
A pure voice from heaven sang, "_Ave Maria, gratia plena, Dominus
tecum..._"
Father Gottfreid gasped. Was this a reward for his steadfastness
against evil?
"_Benedicta tu in mulieribus, et benedictus fructus ventris tui,
Iesus..._"
Then he noticed that the little demon's mouth was moving. *He* was the
source of that heavenly voice...
"_Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc, et in
hora mortis nostrae. Amen._" And the demon turned his glowing eyes to
the cross as if to say, _Did I do it right?_
Gottfreid was dumbstruck.
The little boy took another breath and started again.
Tears fell from Gottfreid's eyes. How could something from Heaven
issue from a body clearly made for Hell?
Unless...
He wasn't meant for Hell at all.
Gottfreid waited for the last note to die. "Father," he said, voice
rough from under-use. "Where's the spare wine and wafers?"
It became the first First Communion at a Midnight Mass, and the
waiting village outside swarmed in to take what they'd missed that
morning. The singing was joyous and celebratory, the people welcoming
and warm.
His sermon that time was simple, "God forgive me for being a stupid
man."