Disclaimer : Yeah, yeah, I don't own them. Stop rubbing it in.
Feedback : Whew, thanks a lot to those who have reviewed. This chapter is dedicated to the all the awesome BB-ers, because well.. we rule =D
Authors Note : Whoops. I've seriously had this chapter done for like, a week now, but my friend who usually revises the chapters for me is busy at college so I had to wait for her to have time to check it out .. but yeah. Enough excuses, its here, enjoy and please remember to review!
The Clock Is Tickin'
Part 4
"Can we talk?
The words echoed through Lorelai's brain and she stumbled a bit, onto the porch until she was standing less then a foot away from him. The night was cool and the air nipped at her arms through the thin t-shirt she was wearing, but it went unnoticed. He was there. Just like he always was, when she was all alone, when she felt as though there was nothing left in the world for her, he was there. She didn't speak, just let her eyes travel across his face, taking in the pain-strickin look, the same one that had been etched onto her own face since the day of Sookie's wedding. It had always been like that, their feelings mirroring the others almost identically. Her eyes swelled up with tears and she bit her lower lip. Christopher stared at her for a second, but the moment a wet droplet fell from her eye, his arms went around her and she buried her face into his shoulder, the action barely muffling her sobs. They stood that way for a good ten minutes, before the cold really started taking its toll and she began shivering in his arms.
"Come on, lets get you inside," he whispered, leading her back into the house. He shut the door securely behind him, making sure it was locked and followed her into the living room. Christopher shook his head as he watched Lorelai hastily try to hide the bottle of vodka that had been sitting on the floor and went to sit beside her on the couch. "Don't worry about it, Lor," he said, taking the bottle from her and placing it on the table. She looked up at him with her blue eyes shining with unshed tears and it was all he had inside of him to keep himself from kissing her madly right then. But it wasn't right. They had to talk before anything more could happen. He knew it, she knew it and there was no way around it.
"What are you doing here, Chris?" Lorelai finally said, her voice scratchy.
Sighing, Christopher ran a hand through his hair. "We need to talk, Lorelai."
"Talk? You came all the way here to talk?"
"I know. I could've just called, but this didn't seem like the phone call type conversation. I need to see you, see your face when you speak to me." Christopher defended.
Lorelai watched him fidget in his seat for a moment before shaking her head. "I don't know if I can, Chris. This, sitting here, watching you, knowing what I know, with everything that's happened. It hurts, Chris. And I don't know if that hurt is ever going to end. I don't know if I can sit here and listen to you talk about what we both know you're here to talk about, without bursting into tears or having the sudden need to throw myself off the roof to end the pain. I don't know if Im ready, I don't know if its too soon.. I don't know anything anymore."
Christopher reached over and took her hand, forcing eye contact with her. "Listen to me, Lor. I know its not easy, I know it hurts. Don't you think it's killing me too? But we have to. I'm going crazy, because I need an answer to all of this, I need to figure out something that will work for all of us. Something that involves the two of us, together, like it always should've been but doesn't involve me not being able to be a father to my child. I can't do that alone, Lor. I need you. I need your help. We need to do this. We need to fix this."
"No, Chris. You have to fix this. This is all you. I can't help you figure it out, because in the end its your choice. I'm not saying that you have to choose between us and your child, but its your decision to make."
"I know its my decision, Lor.. but I've done nothing but hunt for an answer, something that will satisfy us all, but I haven't found any. I need you to at least help me come up with a possible solution."
Lorelai bit her lip and shook her head again. "I can't do that, Chris. Because I'll end up being selfish and wanting you with me, with us. And I can't ask you to just forget about the baby, because I know you won't. And if I know if I ask you to stay here, just with us, you will, but eventually you'll end up resenting me and I don't want that."
Christopher stared at her, contemplating her words. She was right. All she had to do was ask him to stay and he would, but lingering thoughts would always haunt him. "This isn't fair," he muttered, dropping his head into his hands.
Unable to take the broken looking man in front of her, Lorelai scooted over and wrapped her arms around him. "No, its not. You'll come up with something, Chris. You have to."
******
When Lorelai awoke the next afternoon and made her way downstairs, she was surprised to see the living room empty, the couch void of all indications that someone had slept there the night before. The blankets and pillows had been put away and even the end table had been cleared. Smiling slightly, she quietly made her way into the kitchen, where the sounds of coffee brewing and the heavenly aroma hit her immediately. However, Christopher was nowhere to be found. Pouring herself a cup of coffee she headed back into the living room and flopped down on the couch, curling her feet underneath her. A piece of paper caught her eye and she picked it up.
Lor,
Sorry to just leave without saying goodbye, but you were to cute to wake. I need some time to think, by myself, without anyone or anything interfering. I headed up to my parents cabin, so that's where I am if you need me. Hopefully when I come back we'll have a tolerable answer to all of this. Take care of yourself.
Love,
Chris
Not even bothering to try, Lorelai's eyes let loose tears and she, for the first time in a long time, bore her heart to God, praying that things would go their way, once and for all.
******
Anyways, I know this is short. Sorry about that. Im school-less until the 24th, so I'll try to have more this weekend. Tata
- Shay
Feedback : Whew, thanks a lot to those who have reviewed. This chapter is dedicated to the all the awesome BB-ers, because well.. we rule =D
Authors Note : Whoops. I've seriously had this chapter done for like, a week now, but my friend who usually revises the chapters for me is busy at college so I had to wait for her to have time to check it out .. but yeah. Enough excuses, its here, enjoy and please remember to review!
Part 4
"Can we talk?
The words echoed through Lorelai's brain and she stumbled a bit, onto the porch until she was standing less then a foot away from him. The night was cool and the air nipped at her arms through the thin t-shirt she was wearing, but it went unnoticed. He was there. Just like he always was, when she was all alone, when she felt as though there was nothing left in the world for her, he was there. She didn't speak, just let her eyes travel across his face, taking in the pain-strickin look, the same one that had been etched onto her own face since the day of Sookie's wedding. It had always been like that, their feelings mirroring the others almost identically. Her eyes swelled up with tears and she bit her lower lip. Christopher stared at her for a second, but the moment a wet droplet fell from her eye, his arms went around her and she buried her face into his shoulder, the action barely muffling her sobs. They stood that way for a good ten minutes, before the cold really started taking its toll and she began shivering in his arms.
"Come on, lets get you inside," he whispered, leading her back into the house. He shut the door securely behind him, making sure it was locked and followed her into the living room. Christopher shook his head as he watched Lorelai hastily try to hide the bottle of vodka that had been sitting on the floor and went to sit beside her on the couch. "Don't worry about it, Lor," he said, taking the bottle from her and placing it on the table. She looked up at him with her blue eyes shining with unshed tears and it was all he had inside of him to keep himself from kissing her madly right then. But it wasn't right. They had to talk before anything more could happen. He knew it, she knew it and there was no way around it.
"What are you doing here, Chris?" Lorelai finally said, her voice scratchy.
Sighing, Christopher ran a hand through his hair. "We need to talk, Lorelai."
"Talk? You came all the way here to talk?"
"I know. I could've just called, but this didn't seem like the phone call type conversation. I need to see you, see your face when you speak to me." Christopher defended.
Lorelai watched him fidget in his seat for a moment before shaking her head. "I don't know if I can, Chris. This, sitting here, watching you, knowing what I know, with everything that's happened. It hurts, Chris. And I don't know if that hurt is ever going to end. I don't know if I can sit here and listen to you talk about what we both know you're here to talk about, without bursting into tears or having the sudden need to throw myself off the roof to end the pain. I don't know if Im ready, I don't know if its too soon.. I don't know anything anymore."
Christopher reached over and took her hand, forcing eye contact with her. "Listen to me, Lor. I know its not easy, I know it hurts. Don't you think it's killing me too? But we have to. I'm going crazy, because I need an answer to all of this, I need to figure out something that will work for all of us. Something that involves the two of us, together, like it always should've been but doesn't involve me not being able to be a father to my child. I can't do that alone, Lor. I need you. I need your help. We need to do this. We need to fix this."
"No, Chris. You have to fix this. This is all you. I can't help you figure it out, because in the end its your choice. I'm not saying that you have to choose between us and your child, but its your decision to make."
"I know its my decision, Lor.. but I've done nothing but hunt for an answer, something that will satisfy us all, but I haven't found any. I need you to at least help me come up with a possible solution."
Lorelai bit her lip and shook her head again. "I can't do that, Chris. Because I'll end up being selfish and wanting you with me, with us. And I can't ask you to just forget about the baby, because I know you won't. And if I know if I ask you to stay here, just with us, you will, but eventually you'll end up resenting me and I don't want that."
Christopher stared at her, contemplating her words. She was right. All she had to do was ask him to stay and he would, but lingering thoughts would always haunt him. "This isn't fair," he muttered, dropping his head into his hands.
Unable to take the broken looking man in front of her, Lorelai scooted over and wrapped her arms around him. "No, its not. You'll come up with something, Chris. You have to."
******
When Lorelai awoke the next afternoon and made her way downstairs, she was surprised to see the living room empty, the couch void of all indications that someone had slept there the night before. The blankets and pillows had been put away and even the end table had been cleared. Smiling slightly, she quietly made her way into the kitchen, where the sounds of coffee brewing and the heavenly aroma hit her immediately. However, Christopher was nowhere to be found. Pouring herself a cup of coffee she headed back into the living room and flopped down on the couch, curling her feet underneath her. A piece of paper caught her eye and she picked it up.
Lor,
Sorry to just leave without saying goodbye, but you were to cute to wake. I need some time to think, by myself, without anyone or anything interfering. I headed up to my parents cabin, so that's where I am if you need me. Hopefully when I come back we'll have a tolerable answer to all of this. Take care of yourself.
Love,
Chris
Not even bothering to try, Lorelai's eyes let loose tears and she, for the first time in a long time, bore her heart to God, praying that things would go their way, once and for all.
******
Anyways, I know this is short. Sorry about that. Im school-less until the 24th, so I'll try to have more this weekend. Tata
- Shay