Thanks to: your patience, your kind words, and my wonderful beta-readers TK and Becky (and Kira!).
***
Searching for Eden
Three
By RubyD
***
The aching warmth that spread throughout his mind came as a surprise to Hisoka, as was the sudden relief threatening spill over as tears. His chest tightened. There was a sense that a dark and lonely hole had been filled once again, a piece of his soul found. Complete joy, regret, and disbelief. Kazutaka's.
The mental barriers were still sensitive from the earlier contact, so even the lightest flicker of that tenderness made him dizzy. Hisoka pushed it away, imagined that he felt nothing as he untangled himself from the torrent. Anything that he had no reason to be feeling belonged to another, belonged to someone else. Find a focus. So he centered on the one sure thing - his own shock.
Across the room the look in Tsuzuki's eyes mirrored his own, though Kazutaka was too preoccupied to notice. Instead the boy was knotting his hand through the Shinigami's dark hair, lips drinking recklessly, and holding as tight as he could as if either of them would suddenly fade away.
Hisoka didn't know what to do. He stared stupidly, uncomprehending and conflicted. Shock turned to embarrassment - this was definitely not meant for his eyes. But who did this… this brat think he was, doing that to Tsuzuki? Thankfully, Kazutaka broke the kiss, pressing his face into the crook of his neck.
"Uhm… uh - " His partner flailed, arms moving in jerks, not knowing what to do.
"I thought you were gone," the boy said, voice cracking. "He said that you'd never return - " He broke off, choking as he began to cry.
Kazutaka was now clinging so hard to Tsuzuki that the man could feel the racing heart through the black sweater. Tsuzuki could find no other response except to lower his arms and slowly wrap them around him, hoping it was the right thing to do. Whoever this was, a clone, or someone else entirely, he was in pain - and the last thing he wanted was for someone to be hurt because of him.
"It's... it's all right," Tsuzuki murmured in a tone that he hoped was comforting. Then he sent a look to Hisoka. What in the world was going on?
The young Shinigami had no answer, leaning in the shadow of the doorway.
Then, "I love you," Kazutaka whispered, voice thick.
The disbelief on Hisoka's face at that declaration would have made him laugh out loud if Tsuzuki had been in a position to appreciate it. But, no, he probably held a similar expression - and this time the boy noticed. Eyes gray as rain clouds and just as wet opened to stare upwards.
Though it was dim, the moonlight through the window was all Kazutaka needed to see the blank unease in those faceted eyes.
"Tsuzu…ki?" Kazutaka breathed, the blood draining from his face and leaving him cold, feeling the creep of dread up his spine. Maybe this was all a dream, as he had first thought when awakening, but this had felt so real. Why would Tsuzuki be acting so… distant…
And with a jerk, he remembered the day's event. The key. An alleyway in Nagasaki. His partner with no memory of him, and…
He whipped his head around, suspicions confirmed when his eyes raked over the figure at the door. Even in the dark, with the moon through the window as his only light, he knew perfectly well who it was. Though the man was somehow… younger… he recognized those snake-green eyes which were pinned under his razor glare.
"Kurosaki!" he cursed. Kazutaka bolted towards him, but Tsuzuki caught him around the waist, holding tightly now as he wouldn't do a moment ago. The feeling of betrayal was as sharp as ever. "Let me go!"
Kurosaki moved as if wanting to help, but Tsuzuki shook his head. "Hisoka, stay back!"
"Tsuzuki! Why are you…" Kazutaka pleaded, hoping that he could reach him somehow. "It's me!"
"I'm sorry, but please, just calm down, we can explain - "
"There's nothing to explain!" he cut in. Spying the fuda abandoned on the bed, he twisted and made a grab for it. Holding it up to Tsuzuki's face, he said, "I'm sorry, Tsuzuki, but I - !" With a burst of red light, the older man was violently thrown backwards to the floor, dazed. Kazutaka had always been good at using fuda - he had learned from the best.
"Tsuzuki!" Kurosaki cried out.
Now.
As for him…
"Hisoka, huh? Why are you making him call you that? Bastard," Kazutaka spat. Again, he lunged for him, thinking that tonight, maybe he'd fulfill that promise to himself to kill Kurosaki once and for all.
Hisoka knew the raging teen was out for his blood, and so he stumbled back into the hall to give himself room for what was going to be a bad fight. Kazutaka, moving like a white panther, flew out into the hall and stopped. They glared, twin chips of silver and green, sizing each other up in the dimmed hall lights.
"You again," Kazutaka said at last. "Why can't you stay out of my life?"
He shook his head, any rational argument impossible by this point. "I'm not whoever you think I am."
"Oh no? Lets see then."
Finally, Kazutaka drew out his own fuda from a pocket, flinging the scrap of paper to the ground where a small spirit shield materialized and surrounded their section of the hallway. There would be no interruptions. Before it had completely formed, he dashed at Hisoka, fist raised. Hisoka sidestepped out of the path of the punch, but Kurosaki spun and kicked him in the stomach.
He tried not to double over in pain, knowing that if he gave it time it would go away on its own. Except, time wasn't something he had much of. Instead, Hisoka attacked, summoning the bit of innate power that had first shown itself back on his and Tsuzuki's first assignment, in front of the documentation room. The following blast sent Kazutaka crashing into the far wall, gaping in silent shock as he tried to catch his breath.
"How did you - ?" The ashen teen rasped, then cut himself off with a snarl, hurtling back at him. Each fought with startling skill - one being raised on the arts and natural talent, the other born from years of experience - and were physically an even match. But any grace that they had begun with fell heavily away as they wrestled, their fists, feet, and blood flying.
"Hisoka!" someone shouted. Tsuzuki was all right. His partner was now pounding on the shield, trying to get through to the brawling pair.
"Bon!" Watari cried out at the same moment, having awoken from all the noise. He turned to his owl. "003, get Tatsumi down here!"
A quick hand snaked out and grabbed Hisoka's shirt -
And then it happened. It was as if an empathic bomb had gone off inside of Hisoka, shooting pain and anguish throughout his mind and body. He collapsed and clutched his head, trying to keep down the agony threatening to rip his soul apart. It was a wave of pure concentrated emotion, laden with all the hate and anger and hurt he had never dreamt of feeling.
"Let him go!" Tsuzuki ordered, nearly clawing at the magical barrier.
If anything, the pain grew worse. Then he felt himself being lifted and shoved against a hall door. Kazutaka still had him in his grip. The other boy's face looked pained as his own, if only more controlled.
"What did you just do??" Hisoka choked, voice with a strange hitch to it. Was he crying? He tried to push away, but his feverish limbs wouldn't do anything but tremble.
"What have you done to Tsuzuki?" demanded Kazutaka. "Why… everything?"
He shook the other teen by the front of his shirt, then slammed him again into the splintering door. Hisoka gasped, confused… frantically, no, angrily trying to rebuild his mental shields from the tide of emotions breaking through from the others. He bucked and twisted, but his weak attempts did nothing against the pale boy.
Reaching back behind him, Hisoka thought Kazutaka was drawing out a weapon tucked in his jeans. Why hadn't they checked him over for knives or something when they had the chance? That could have been a fatal mistake - instead, though, what his hand came back with was a palm-sized cross which glimmered faintly in the hall lights, gray as gravestone.
"Getting clumsy? Or did you leave it at the church on purpose?" he hissed. "What is it? Did it do something to him? Is that why you look different? Answer me!"
"That's – " Hisoka heard Watari sputter, the surprise feeling like icy water, as something dawned on the scientist. "Oh!"
"I'm telling you, I don't know!" Hisoka growled sluggishly, still in shock, and trying to keep away the emotions of all three people in the hall. Out of all the 'jitsu he had learned, there must be something. Concentrating, he twitched his fingers in what he hoped was a spell, while keeping his head clear from the assault of rage. A distant part of his mind noted that Tsuzuki was doing the same, fiercely chanting at the shield.
"How about if I show you, then, will that jog your memory?" The hand holding the cross brushed past the young Shinigami's ear. What was he doing? "You held it up to the door, like this – "
"Bon!" Watari shouted, reaching out. "No, wait!"
Tsuzuki called out one last word. There was a surge of power, and the barrier around the hallway broke, but a little too late. The corridor exploded with light, as if the sun had decided to appear inside the building, blinding everyone. There was an eerie howl of wind like air being sucked through a straw, only this straw was the size of a speeding truck. The solid wood disappeared from behind him, and Hisoka flailed helplessly as he was sent spiraling back towards nothingness.
There was a jolt of panic from Watari and Tsuzuki, and he knew that they also were forcefully being pulled in. The last thing he remembered seeing before plunging into the bright hot light was Kazutaka, frosty skin nearly transparent, shoving them both one final step further into the portal.
*
For a little while, everything was quiet.
It was nice, and very peaceful, like a winter night. Hisoka was alone, which was okay. Just him and no one's emotions to sort through.
Was he asleep? He could feel himself coming to, stirring. Hearing something.
"Tsuzuki, I don't know what's wrong, but snap out of it!"
"Calm down! I'm sorry, I don't know how you know me, but - "
"I'm your partner! We've been together for years! Can't I get through to you? I… I…!"
"Ka… Kazutaka, is it? You should do as Tsuzuki says. Please, calm down."
"Let me go, please…"
Hisoka blinked his eyes open, finding himself facing Tsuzuki and Watari. They were keeping the struggling boy back, both holding an arm. Though the empath could clearly see that Kazutaka was terrified and nearing some unknown breaking point, Hisoka could feel nothing of it. He remained blissfully blank, watching them through deadened senses, disconnected even from his own feelings. He needn't worry - couldn't right then - but it would come back soon enough, and that's when he'd feel like shit.
"Where…" he started to say, sitting up. The others froze, Kazutaka silently glaring as Tsuzuki and Watari seemed to sigh in relief. "Where are we?"
"Are you all right?" asked Tsuzuki, tone instantly concerned. The boy in his grip flinched, and the look grew evermore darker. Hisoka only nodded in answer.
Watari looked around. Somehow, they were outside, staring at the crisp, unpolluted dawn. They sat in a massively hilly field of overgrown grass, none of the trademark sakura trees or buildings in sight. He frowned at the unnatural stillness - no birds flying, no insects making noise, but only the soft hiss of wind that could barely wake the grass. There were familiar mountains off in the distance, but those too were… somewhat green.
Behind them, there was a door, supposedly the one from which they came. A simple wooden door and frame unattached to any known wall, a surreal brown monolith in a landscape of green and blue. If he reached out to turn the knob, it would lead no place.
Shimmering faintly on the ground was the stone cross, almost hidden beneath all the grass.
"This… is… " Watari realized, eyes wide. He let go of the boy and leapt to his feet, trusting that Tsuzuki would keep Kazutaka from Hisoka. "Wonderful! Oh, wow, where are we?! Yes, yes, we're totally… utterly… somewhere else!"
He turned to the others, grinning, arms akimbo. They blinked at his declaration, completely missing his point.
Hisoka was the first to break the stunned silence. "Ah, Watari-san… we know that."
"No, no, no, you don't understand," he said, bending down to grasp the cross and then holding it up. "Everything looks different, but see those mountains over there? Do you recognize them? We're still in Japan! Maybe Meifu, even - we're in the exact same spot we left. But. But ~ !" The scientist resisted the urge to begin laughing in joy at the discovery.
Hisoka, gaining back his impatience, said, "What are you trying to say?"
"But, we're in a different reality. A whole parallel universe!"
"Are we?" Tsuzuki gaped. "Are you sure?"
"See this? This? See?" He brought the cross close for their inspection. "Kazutaka, Tsuzuki, Hisoka. I can explain everything!" Then after a deliberate pause, he added, "I think."
Continuing on, he knelt down to the silver-haired teen. "Kazutaka, when and where did you get this?"
Kazutaka frowned, shifting his gaze to the dirt. "Kurosaki left it behind. We were at that church in Nagasaki, and he did that thing to the door… but we didn't end up anywhere different."
"But you went through the door?" he pressed.
"Yes."
"Why did he leave it?"
"I don't know," he snapped, twitching in Tsuzuki's firm grip. "Ask him yourself."
Watari marveled at the sudden flash of insight in Tsuzuki's eyes. The dark haired man turned Kazutaka around, gently asking, "Why are you so young?"
The teenager clenched his fists around the sleeve's of Tsuzuki's hospital robe, which he hadn't had a chance to change out of. "…What do you mean?"
"You're more than thirty years old, aren't you?"
"Tsuzuki… I died when I was seventeen," he said softly. "I'm a Shinigami."
Surprise managed to worked its way through the blank fog that was Hisoka's empathy. "You… You are?"
"And what about you," Kazutaka retorted. "Why are you so small? I don't remember you being so weak, either."
Hisoka managed to bristle at the remark, the start of a headache brewing at his temples. "I'm dead, you brat," he added bleakly. "You were the one that killed me."
"What?" He jerked, and Tsuzuki clamped a hand on his shoulder. "Impossible - "
"We've fought. Where are my bruises? The cuts?" Hisoka stood, his skin was flawless, and body already healed. "And if I look as different as you think, how did you recognize me?"
"It-it was your eyes…" Kazutaka stammered, doubt coloring his tone.
"You have the wrong person."
"No, no, you're lying - "
Watari stepped in, smiling sympathetically. "This has been all a mistake, Kazutaka, do you know why we don't remember you? We can't. It's because, we're not the people of your world. Until yesterday, we have never seen you before, or rather, never met you you."
Kazutaka shook his head, not wanting to believe it. No, this was all a sick game Kurosaki was playing, it had to be - and the person holding him had to be his partner. The man he had been searching for the last months. His partner, his Tsuzuki, his -
It was only when the strong hand touched his cheek that Kazutaka realized he was babbling outloud.
"Tsuzuki…" he pleaded.
"I'm so sorry," Tsuzuki answered. "But I'm not who you think I am. I'm not him."
"But you have to be…"
"I'm not," he only repeated, genuinely sad for him. His eyes reflected the gentle concern he showed everyone, but nothing deeper.
It was then when Kazutaka felt his heart stop, worse than any second death. He shook his head in defeat, tears falling, and sagged against the man he did not know.
*
With more to explain, and several new worlds to wonder about, Watari didn't want to return home just quite yet. By the movement of the sun, he guessed it was an hour later when he could finally explain to them about the cross - the key.
"A few years ago when I was researching cursed items," he started, "I came across a reference to this. A key created to open a dimensional gate from every kind of doorway, be it cupboard, cabinet, closet, maybe even the refrigerator! Each door leads to a different reality, one where such-and-such events might have occurred, changing the whole course of history. The possibilities are limitless."
His audience was attentive, if less enthusiastic. Tsuzuki and Hisoka were resting on the flattened circle of grass they had made, and though they sat without touching, there was a relaxed air of intimacy between them that anyone would be blind to miss. So Kazutaka sat off to the side, back towards them and silent, but by the way he would almost turn his head once in a while Watari was sure he was listening.
"Why would anyone make something like this?" Tsuzuki asked.
"Think of the worlds you could find." He stepped back and swept his arms over the land with its endless desert of hills. "Hellish places, or heavenly ones, and everything in between. That is why this key was made - one man's search for paradise. A priest who wanted to find the perfect world."
"Did he ever find it?" Hisoka glanced around, rubbing at his eyes, expression having slowly soured over the last half hour. Though he knew the boy didn't drink, it looked as if he were suffering from a hangover.
"If this cross being in our hands is any indication… no," he stated. Watari rubbed the back of his neck, absently brushing the vacant spot on his shoulder where something warm should have been.
"What happened to him?"
"From what I remember, he got trapped in the different dimensions. You see, if something happens to the door you came from - if it's destroyed, or damaged bad enough - there is no way to get back. His own door must have gotten broken." He stopped there, letting that little fact ring in the air. Suddenly, the prospect of going back didn't seem too bad. The wind picked up, the place seeming less inviting and peaceful than before. "He spent the rest of his life wandering, not for a paradise, but for his home."
Imagine, arriving to an endless number of worlds so much like your own, with people who you hope would embrace you, only to find another like yourself. Another someone, a shard of the path you could have lead, be it happy or terrible, and those loved ones you think you knew… they did not know you. After time, how lonely would it be?
"We need to get back." Kazutaka had stood and walked up to them, eyes wide. The other two were on their feet immediately, cautious around the boy. "We're leaving, now," he added more forcefully, an odd note seeping into his voice, one that trembled.
"I don't see why we need to stay any longer - " Watari said, but then the teen had reached out to… to grab the key or maybe take his wrist, the scientist wasn't sure, but Hisoka jumped in.
The young empath glowered. "You don't order people around - "
"No, I mean, we have to leave, right now! Look!" Kazutaka pointed to a far off hill.
It was moving. Not just one but many, all curling and elongating into elegant rings, resembling less like scattered bumps on the ground, but like the gentle curves and folds in a piece of cloth. The wind grew louder and, in fact, really did sound like a long, low, seductive hiss.
Hisoka stiffened, his empathy recovered just enough to faintly pick up on the immense presence just as its head rose above the shifting mass, a long and tapered neck topped with a wedge-shaped face the size of a van.
A snake. An emerald, fluid, enormous snake.
Dear God.
The thin whip of its gray tongue swept the air. Hisoka stood transfixed in horrified awe, hypnotized by its vast length and piercing eyes as black and hollow as a night without the comfort of stars. It came towards them, slowly, but in reality moving much too fast, and the earth rumbled in its sun-warmed wake. If Tsuzuki had not taken him by the waist and nearly pitched him into the glowing portal Watari had opened, Hisoka might have stayed there forever until those eyes had come and swallowed his whole world up into darkness.
To Be Continued