Letting Go: A prequel story of a family dealing with grief...
By Kasumi
"Oniichan?" She questioned, a confused look on her three year old face. "Sakura want Okaasan!"
I sighed and looked away, trying to wipe the tears from my already red eyes. "You can't see Okaasan right now Sakura..."
"Doushite?" the one word hung in the air like a heavy fog forming after a rainy day. "Sakura want Okaasan!"
"Sakura..." I murmured, picking her up as if she was as light as a feather. "Okaasan needs to be with Otousan right now; we can try in a while."
"Iie!" She started crying right there on my lap. "What happening?"
"Sakura, onegai, don't cry," I tried settling her down by hugging her. "Onegai..."
With this she just started crying harder and clutched onto my shirt, drenching it with hot tears. "What happening? Sakura want Okaasan!"
Another tear ran down my face as I stood up with Sakura in my arms. I hugged her closely to my body, and draped a blanket on her that I had gotten from her small, gold winged backpack. "Don't cry... come on, let's go see Okaasan..."
She sniffed as her chubby little hands wiped off the tears in her startling emerald eyes. "Honto ne? Sakura see Okaasan?"
"Hai..."
I slowly made my way to the painted white door. I knew I shouldn't be doing this, but Sakura really needed Okaasan right now. She was only three; how could she understand what is happening...
"Ano, Otousan?" I questioned opening up the door and closing it behind me with a small click.
"H-hai?" He asked as I made my way closer to the bed. He seemed to be stroking her face.
"Sakura was crying for Okaasan - I know I shouldn't be here, but I couldn't help myself; I couldn't bear to see her like this. Ano, how is Okaasan?" I explained, making my way to my Otousan, dreading of what I could hear.
"She seems to be stable now, d-demo, the doctor said that it might not be any longer..." Otousan said, grief filling up his voice as he choked down tears threatening to fall.
"Otousan?" Sakura questioned, realizing that she was in the room with her Okaasan. "Sakura can see Okaasan now!"
Otousan and I sighed. How hard it was going to be to explain this kind of thing to a three year old.
"Ano, hai Sakura-san..." Otousan said taking her from my arms and sat back in his chair that he had obviously been sitting in for a couple of days at least. "Nadeshiko... Nadeshiko, onegai wake up..."
Okaasan's eyes slowly opened up, revealing glossy emerald eyes just like her daughters. "Hai Fujitaka? Did you need something?"
Otousan sighed troublesomely as he raised his hand to stroke her long, lavender hair that was spread all around her pillow. "Hai, Sakura wanted to see you..."
A small smile spread on her face as Sakura clambered up on the bed to sit beside Nadeshiko. "Okaasan, Sakura miss you!"
Nadeshiko tried to keep her smile on her face as she lifted up her arm to trace her thumb around Sakura's face. "I miss you too Sakura-chan, you don't know just how much I love you..."
"Sakura love you too Okaasan! When you coming home?"
Nadeshiko's smile wavered a little bit as she fought to keep tears forming in her eyes. "Oh Sakura-chan, my little cherry blossom; I don't know when Okaasan will be coming home. Maybe soon, maybe not."
"What do Okaasan mean?" Sakura questioned, bending down to give Nadeshiko a long hug. "Doushite?"
Nadeshiko struggled to keep the tears from falling down her pale face. "Oh Sakura-chan, I want you to be a big girl okay? I want you to help out Otousan and Oniichan..."
Sakura puzzled over what Nadeshiko had just told her. "What do Okaasan mean?"
Nadeshiko just sighed and turned to me, staring at me with her eyes. I looked away quickly before she could see me crying. "Sakura, onegai go with Otousan for a couple of minutes okay? I want to have a little talk with your Oniichan..."
"Hai Okaasan!" Sakura said as she scrambled off of the bed and took Otousan's hand as he slowly led her out the door.
"Touya?" Nadeshiko questioned as the door shut behind Otousan and Sakura. He could hear their footsteps as they quietly went for down the wall.
"H-hai Okaasan?" I said as I tried to prevent more tears from running down my face. "Doushite did you want to talk to me?"
She sighed deeply and weekly motioned for me to sit down on the chair that Otousan was sitting in previously. "Touya, you do know that I don't have a lot of time left, ne?"
I bowed my head and nodded slightly as tears started pooring down my face. She slowly moved her arm to my chin and lifted it up. "Touya, onegai don't cry. I need you to be strong for Sakura; she's only three years old, and its going to be tough for her to go on with out an Okaasan. But I want you to promise me one thing. Promise me that you will look after Sakura as best as you can. Remember without me it's going to be tough; Otousan will be very busy with work, and Sakura will be too young to take care of herself. Onegai?" Okaasan pleaded with me, but at the same time trying to comfort me.
"H-hai Okaasan," I whispered as I reached down to give her a hug. "I will..."
"Arigatou Touya; Now I want to ask you just one last question: Do you believe in magic?"
I stared a bit into her eyes as she said the comment about magic. Do I? Or do I not? "Ano, hai..."
"That's good; I just want you to know that something will be happening at a later time. Always remember that I will always be with you." She said closing her eyes slowly as she fell into a light sleep.
I lent forward and gave her a little kiss on the cheek, tears freely falling down my crestfallen face. 'Doushite? Doushite does it have to be her?' I cried out in my mind as I turned around, hands into small fists. 'Everything was perfect... we're supposed to be with each other forever! She's only 27! I'm only 10! Sakura's only 3! This is too soon!'
I ran out the door passing Otousan and Sakura who were just about to come back in her room. I passed nurses who were going on to their patients, doctors who were going to head into surgery.
"Iie! Doushite does this have to be happening?"
I sprinted out the door and tripped on a rock that was lying on the ground near the door. Rain pelted my back as I fell onto the wet, cold ground. I cried softly as I sat up rubbing my knees where I had fallen on them.
"Doushite?"
Tears ran down silently on my face, mixing in with the raindrops falling.
* * * Authors Notes: Well, here is my third fic, Letting Go: A story about a family dealing with grief. I thought that in CCS, there wasn't anything really about Nadeshiko's death or about everyone dealing with the grief. So I thought that I would make one myself :]. I'm not sure if the story's just going to have Touya's POV, or if I will use Fujitaka's POV or Sakura's POV. It's really going to depend ^^;. What does everyone think of the starting of it? Should I just continue with Touya's POV or put other characters too?
~Kasumi
"Oniichan?" She questioned, a confused look on her three year old face. "Sakura want Okaasan!"
I sighed and looked away, trying to wipe the tears from my already red eyes. "You can't see Okaasan right now Sakura..."
"Doushite?" the one word hung in the air like a heavy fog forming after a rainy day. "Sakura want Okaasan!"
"Sakura..." I murmured, picking her up as if she was as light as a feather. "Okaasan needs to be with Otousan right now; we can try in a while."
"Iie!" She started crying right there on my lap. "What happening?"
"Sakura, onegai, don't cry," I tried settling her down by hugging her. "Onegai..."
With this she just started crying harder and clutched onto my shirt, drenching it with hot tears. "What happening? Sakura want Okaasan!"
Another tear ran down my face as I stood up with Sakura in my arms. I hugged her closely to my body, and draped a blanket on her that I had gotten from her small, gold winged backpack. "Don't cry... come on, let's go see Okaasan..."
She sniffed as her chubby little hands wiped off the tears in her startling emerald eyes. "Honto ne? Sakura see Okaasan?"
"Hai..."
I slowly made my way to the painted white door. I knew I shouldn't be doing this, but Sakura really needed Okaasan right now. She was only three; how could she understand what is happening...
"Ano, Otousan?" I questioned opening up the door and closing it behind me with a small click.
"H-hai?" He asked as I made my way closer to the bed. He seemed to be stroking her face.
"Sakura was crying for Okaasan - I know I shouldn't be here, but I couldn't help myself; I couldn't bear to see her like this. Ano, how is Okaasan?" I explained, making my way to my Otousan, dreading of what I could hear.
"She seems to be stable now, d-demo, the doctor said that it might not be any longer..." Otousan said, grief filling up his voice as he choked down tears threatening to fall.
"Otousan?" Sakura questioned, realizing that she was in the room with her Okaasan. "Sakura can see Okaasan now!"
Otousan and I sighed. How hard it was going to be to explain this kind of thing to a three year old.
"Ano, hai Sakura-san..." Otousan said taking her from my arms and sat back in his chair that he had obviously been sitting in for a couple of days at least. "Nadeshiko... Nadeshiko, onegai wake up..."
Okaasan's eyes slowly opened up, revealing glossy emerald eyes just like her daughters. "Hai Fujitaka? Did you need something?"
Otousan sighed troublesomely as he raised his hand to stroke her long, lavender hair that was spread all around her pillow. "Hai, Sakura wanted to see you..."
A small smile spread on her face as Sakura clambered up on the bed to sit beside Nadeshiko. "Okaasan, Sakura miss you!"
Nadeshiko tried to keep her smile on her face as she lifted up her arm to trace her thumb around Sakura's face. "I miss you too Sakura-chan, you don't know just how much I love you..."
"Sakura love you too Okaasan! When you coming home?"
Nadeshiko's smile wavered a little bit as she fought to keep tears forming in her eyes. "Oh Sakura-chan, my little cherry blossom; I don't know when Okaasan will be coming home. Maybe soon, maybe not."
"What do Okaasan mean?" Sakura questioned, bending down to give Nadeshiko a long hug. "Doushite?"
Nadeshiko struggled to keep the tears from falling down her pale face. "Oh Sakura-chan, I want you to be a big girl okay? I want you to help out Otousan and Oniichan..."
Sakura puzzled over what Nadeshiko had just told her. "What do Okaasan mean?"
Nadeshiko just sighed and turned to me, staring at me with her eyes. I looked away quickly before she could see me crying. "Sakura, onegai go with Otousan for a couple of minutes okay? I want to have a little talk with your Oniichan..."
"Hai Okaasan!" Sakura said as she scrambled off of the bed and took Otousan's hand as he slowly led her out the door.
"Touya?" Nadeshiko questioned as the door shut behind Otousan and Sakura. He could hear their footsteps as they quietly went for down the wall.
"H-hai Okaasan?" I said as I tried to prevent more tears from running down my face. "Doushite did you want to talk to me?"
She sighed deeply and weekly motioned for me to sit down on the chair that Otousan was sitting in previously. "Touya, you do know that I don't have a lot of time left, ne?"
I bowed my head and nodded slightly as tears started pooring down my face. She slowly moved her arm to my chin and lifted it up. "Touya, onegai don't cry. I need you to be strong for Sakura; she's only three years old, and its going to be tough for her to go on with out an Okaasan. But I want you to promise me one thing. Promise me that you will look after Sakura as best as you can. Remember without me it's going to be tough; Otousan will be very busy with work, and Sakura will be too young to take care of herself. Onegai?" Okaasan pleaded with me, but at the same time trying to comfort me.
"H-hai Okaasan," I whispered as I reached down to give her a hug. "I will..."
"Arigatou Touya; Now I want to ask you just one last question: Do you believe in magic?"
I stared a bit into her eyes as she said the comment about magic. Do I? Or do I not? "Ano, hai..."
"That's good; I just want you to know that something will be happening at a later time. Always remember that I will always be with you." She said closing her eyes slowly as she fell into a light sleep.
I lent forward and gave her a little kiss on the cheek, tears freely falling down my crestfallen face. 'Doushite? Doushite does it have to be her?' I cried out in my mind as I turned around, hands into small fists. 'Everything was perfect... we're supposed to be with each other forever! She's only 27! I'm only 10! Sakura's only 3! This is too soon!'
I ran out the door passing Otousan and Sakura who were just about to come back in her room. I passed nurses who were going on to their patients, doctors who were going to head into surgery.
"Iie! Doushite does this have to be happening?"
I sprinted out the door and tripped on a rock that was lying on the ground near the door. Rain pelted my back as I fell onto the wet, cold ground. I cried softly as I sat up rubbing my knees where I had fallen on them.
"Doushite?"
Tears ran down silently on my face, mixing in with the raindrops falling.
* * * Authors Notes: Well, here is my third fic, Letting Go: A story about a family dealing with grief. I thought that in CCS, there wasn't anything really about Nadeshiko's death or about everyone dealing with the grief. So I thought that I would make one myself :]. I'm not sure if the story's just going to have Touya's POV, or if I will use Fujitaka's POV or Sakura's POV. It's really going to depend ^^;. What does everyone think of the starting of it? Should I just continue with Touya's POV or put other characters too?
~Kasumi