(an. On with the insanity...don't worry //.^ this story is estimated to be
about 7 ch's long~! Have fun //.^)
Ch 3: The bus ride
The bus ride over there was everything but pleasant, not only was Clari's ass falling asleep from the ten hour bus ride, the Mazoku might as well have been hanging form the ceiling and playing leap frog over the seats. The bus was a complete and total madhouse. Olin and Perkass had disappeared somewhere in the back. Raiel and Sizer plus all the valkeries were playing strip poker in the back seats; Pandora and Guitar were stuffed underneath. Drum as sitting on top because he was too big to fit inside, and inside there were random pairings in the seats. Clari ended up being next to Spam, which wasn't the most pleasant time for him. She would always hang all over him and do some *ahem* other things.
"CLARI-SAMA!!!!!!" Spam cheered as she hung onto his arm. She grinned evilly, looked around, and then groped him.
"AHHHHH!! WHAT THE HELLSING!!" Clari shrieked.
"Oh, nothing. Hehehehehehehe" *grope*
"Eerrrmmmmm...help..." Clari wined.
Kestra was mad. When they had gotten on the bus Pikku had sat next to Mazoku and he had gotten stuck next to Perkass and behind Lute. Luckily for him, Perkass had disappeared with Olin. However, Lute thought he was the only person on the bus and kept trying to lean back on Kestra. He eventually got fed up with Lute's attempts to recline. Kestra pulled his feet up on his chair and let the Sforzand prince recline all of the way. Then he put his feet on Lute's face.
"AHHHA, what! Get your feet off me!! GRRR!" Lute yelled
"Well for me to get my feet off you, you have to incline your chair and stop talking to me, or better yet just drop dead." Kestra sneered
Lute turned to glare but found that his glare was no match for Kestra's death glare so he inclined his chair and said nothing more. Vocal and Orgel were playing football in the isle. Orgel threw the ball, Vocal missed and it ended up being stuck in Flute's eye.
"AHHH!!" Flute shrieked as she flapped her arms rapidly and ran in circles. Hamel would have helped but he was to busy rolling on the floor laughing. Trom was sitting in a chair all by himself moping about his parents dying...again.
"Yes! Raiel-chan you loose! You have to take off more!!"
Raiel had profusely lost and was now down to just his hat. All the girls giggled and Kei was peeking on Sizer from the over-head bin. As the strip poker continued Ocarina and Krisis were to busy jamming and singing along to J-rock together to worry about anything else.
"ILLUMINATI!!!" Ocarina yelled
"Yeah Illuminati!!" Krisis responded. They continued to jam on their air guitars. By this time Olin and Perkass had returned from *ahem* what ever they were doing in the bathroom. Perkass had returned to his seat next to Kestra...this presented one problem...Kestra's horns.
Kestra looked up from reading a manga borrowed from Mazoku. "What do you want? I thought your seat was in the bathroom, freak." He sneered.
"Wah...I was...with my boyfriend. Now I wanna sit down," Perkass explained.
Kestra turned slightly green. "Did I really want or NEED to know that? NO I DIDN'T! If you really want to sit down, don't talk to me," he snapped
Perkass sat down. He quickly discovered why no one had sat next to Kestra in the first place. When he had tried to tell him his whole life story, Kestra had pulled a rancid sock out from nowhere and crammed it in Perkass' mouth. Then there were the 2-ft horns. Once Kestra had turned to yell at Vocal and Perkass had been hit in the face. Then Kestra's attention was caught by something outside, turned his head to look, and Perkass was beat upside the back of the head.
"ARGH! Will you please stop?!" Perkass yelled
The Daimao's red eyes narrowed. "Well, you're the one who wanted to sit here. Shut up already," he said calmly.
Perkass got up and went to sit with Olin near the front. Then Mazoku went over to sit by Kestra.
"Why'd the flamer leave?" she asked.
Kestra shrugged. "I don't care. The only thing he did was whine. Why'd you come over here?"
"Because Pikku fell asleep and he snores really loud." Mazoku shrugged
Kestra looked over at Pikku who now had Synth crawling all over his head with her farting hedgehog plushie.
"Ahh...Synth is a little retard" Mazoku retorted
"Heh," Kestra replied, as he turned back to watch his niece crawling all over her dad's head, before he knew it he was asleep. Back in the back of the bus Raiel was still losing...his 7th game...
"Oh yeah!" Raiel screamed. "You lost this time Sizer AHAHAHAHAHA!!" he laughed as Sizer took off her shirt. Kei, who was up in the overhead bin was laughing hysterically as she watched Sizer strip. On to the front of the bus Clari had Spam in his lap.
"Ehhh.... uh, Mr. Bus driver man," he asked as he tapped him on the shoulder, "Can we pull up and to a rest stop soon?" The bus driver looked at him and replied.
"You know I have a name!! Yeah and it happens to be Mouthpiece!! So if you want something you should ask more politely next time!!" Clari sweat-dropped, Spam gave the biggest death glare she could pull off and made a mental note to eat him later.
"Ummmm...ok Mr. Mouthpiece may it be permissible that we go to a rest stop?"
"Yes!"
Mouthpiece pulled the bus into the next rest stop. While everyone fought to get off the bus, they trampled Trom. The next fight was to see who could get to the bathroom first. Needless to say, Mazoku and the other Mazoku women won the fight to the girl's bathroom while the Mazoku guys won the fight to the men's room.
Unfortunately, these were the bathrooms with automatic toilets, sinks an, hand dryers, ect. The only thing not automatic was the door. Mazoku had never seen anything like this before. It seemed every time she moved the toilet flushed. That was highly irritating. After fighting the toilet for a few minuets, she went to try getting the sink to work. The sign said to hold your hands under the faucet...five minuets later...Mazoku was really pissed now. The sink didn't ever work! She looked around for something to beat it with. Unfortunately, the only thing close by was Flute.
"Hey! What are you doing?!" Flute shrieked as Mazoku grabbed her wrist
"Umm...I'm trying to get the sink to work. You're going to help me," Mazoku answered.
She picked Flute up and smacked the sink with her a few times. Finally, the sink broke off the wall and water gushed out of the pipes. Mazoku put some soap on her hands and used the water pouring out of the wall. Then she went back outside where Pikku was waiting for her.
"What took you so long?" he asked
"Well, that stupid sink was broken, so I fixed it," Mazoku replied
Pikku stared at her then the bathroom
"Umm...why is there water flowing out of the bathroom then?"
Mazoku looked at the bathroom and saw Spam floating on a sink like a surfboard and numerous other people flowing out of the bathroom from the title wave of water.
"Ouu...Oh well," Mazoku shrugged.
As Pikku and Mazoku were walking back to the bus they ran into Kesrta who was glaring at something down the road. Pikku tapped him on the shoulder.
"Umm....Kestra-sama? What are you doing?"
"Look down the road and tell me what you see," Kestra responded pointing down the road. Pikku and Mazoku squinted trying to see what Kestra was talking about, then they saw. Both of them burst out laughing. Then Clari walked over with Spam in his hair.
"What are you guys doing? The bus is gonna leave in a few minuets." Clari said. Kestra grabbed Clari and showed him.
"Tell me what you see..."
"Ooouuuuuuu...um didn't we pick up Harp when we left tho?" Clari asked
"Not that I recall," Pikku responded
"Yeah...he is kinda hard to miss..." Mazoku added
"Well...now that you mention it...." Clari said
Just then Harp ran up panting for air. "*pant* Why...didn't...you....wait....for .....me?"
"Because you're a fag and we 'accidentally' forgot about you," Kesrta sneered.
"Well...noone....cares....about...you.....either..." Harp said trying to sound all cool and macho, except Kestra only found it very irritating. "And....uh...yeah...if...you don't....leave...me alone....I am gonna....use my....fairy magic....on you...."
Kestra burst out laughing. "I am serious!" Harp yelled as he tried to shoot Kestra, which just made him laugh harder. Soon Kestra just got tired of Harp wasting his time so he just blew him up...just leaving his shoes and socks. "Ok. ^__^ We can go now," Kestra said happily.
"R-Right," Clari responded
"Come on guys! The bus is leaving in a few seconds!" Hamel yelled.
"Yeah, yeah were coming!" Pikku yelled back. So the four of them walked back to the bus and got on. With only a few glares from and slight mumbling from Mouth Piece the bus ride started again without a hitch. Not much went on the rest of the way; people were sleeping, reading a manga, listing to music, or a combination of both. The only one actually up and doing something was Bass, and even then he wasn't up, he was rolling around between the isles but after Mouth Piece made a sharp turn to avoid hitting a cow, Bass went rolling under the seat and into a corner were he bumped into something.
"Hey! My body!" Bass exclaimed as he attached himself back to his body. Bass crawled out from under the seats and started parading around the bus to random people but this just pissed people off and got him beat up or yelled at because everyone was just plain grumpy. He tried harassing Clari but Spam just bit off his hand, he tried Hamel and Flute but he just got hit with a mallet, Kestra, Pikku, and Mazoku all just punched him. Krisis and Ocarina just glared at him, Coro put a spell on him and he grew big mice ears. Sizer chased him around with her scythe, and Vocal laughed at him and called him a farking little retard. With his self-esteem lowered dramatically and missing a few teeth and his hand, Bass went to sit and not say anything the rest of the trip. After a few hours they finally arrived at the boat. The security guards checked everyone, and held Mazoku, Kesrta, Pikku, Spam, Krisis, Synth, Drum and Guitar back.
"Sorry guys you cant go, you have dangerous weapons on your heads.... or you just look really freaky..." the guard responded
"I don't think so you little farker...we drove all the way up here and had to suffer thru the many retards that came along. We are going on this Goddamned trip!" Mazoku yelled.
"Um, nope, I can---"the security guard didn't even get to finish before Spam ate him. Pikku patted her on the head and they all caught up with the rest of their gang. When they got to the baggage pickup, everyone found their bags except Kestra.
"Oh this is great! Those stupid dumb-asses lost my bag _*" Kestra growled, "Oh well, I will just steal someone else's." So Kesrta grabbed a random bag and took it onto the boat, hoping the owner of it wasn't female. With Spam hanging on his waist Clari trudged up the stairs and onto the boat, this was going to be a long trip.... he had to room with Kesrta and Pikku, and his sister Coro.
Ch 3: The bus ride
The bus ride over there was everything but pleasant, not only was Clari's ass falling asleep from the ten hour bus ride, the Mazoku might as well have been hanging form the ceiling and playing leap frog over the seats. The bus was a complete and total madhouse. Olin and Perkass had disappeared somewhere in the back. Raiel and Sizer plus all the valkeries were playing strip poker in the back seats; Pandora and Guitar were stuffed underneath. Drum as sitting on top because he was too big to fit inside, and inside there were random pairings in the seats. Clari ended up being next to Spam, which wasn't the most pleasant time for him. She would always hang all over him and do some *ahem* other things.
"CLARI-SAMA!!!!!!" Spam cheered as she hung onto his arm. She grinned evilly, looked around, and then groped him.
"AHHHHH!! WHAT THE HELLSING!!" Clari shrieked.
"Oh, nothing. Hehehehehehehe" *grope*
"Eerrrmmmmm...help..." Clari wined.
Kestra was mad. When they had gotten on the bus Pikku had sat next to Mazoku and he had gotten stuck next to Perkass and behind Lute. Luckily for him, Perkass had disappeared with Olin. However, Lute thought he was the only person on the bus and kept trying to lean back on Kestra. He eventually got fed up with Lute's attempts to recline. Kestra pulled his feet up on his chair and let the Sforzand prince recline all of the way. Then he put his feet on Lute's face.
"AHHHA, what! Get your feet off me!! GRRR!" Lute yelled
"Well for me to get my feet off you, you have to incline your chair and stop talking to me, or better yet just drop dead." Kestra sneered
Lute turned to glare but found that his glare was no match for Kestra's death glare so he inclined his chair and said nothing more. Vocal and Orgel were playing football in the isle. Orgel threw the ball, Vocal missed and it ended up being stuck in Flute's eye.
"AHHH!!" Flute shrieked as she flapped her arms rapidly and ran in circles. Hamel would have helped but he was to busy rolling on the floor laughing. Trom was sitting in a chair all by himself moping about his parents dying...again.
"Yes! Raiel-chan you loose! You have to take off more!!"
Raiel had profusely lost and was now down to just his hat. All the girls giggled and Kei was peeking on Sizer from the over-head bin. As the strip poker continued Ocarina and Krisis were to busy jamming and singing along to J-rock together to worry about anything else.
"ILLUMINATI!!!" Ocarina yelled
"Yeah Illuminati!!" Krisis responded. They continued to jam on their air guitars. By this time Olin and Perkass had returned from *ahem* what ever they were doing in the bathroom. Perkass had returned to his seat next to Kestra...this presented one problem...Kestra's horns.
Kestra looked up from reading a manga borrowed from Mazoku. "What do you want? I thought your seat was in the bathroom, freak." He sneered.
"Wah...I was...with my boyfriend. Now I wanna sit down," Perkass explained.
Kestra turned slightly green. "Did I really want or NEED to know that? NO I DIDN'T! If you really want to sit down, don't talk to me," he snapped
Perkass sat down. He quickly discovered why no one had sat next to Kestra in the first place. When he had tried to tell him his whole life story, Kestra had pulled a rancid sock out from nowhere and crammed it in Perkass' mouth. Then there were the 2-ft horns. Once Kestra had turned to yell at Vocal and Perkass had been hit in the face. Then Kestra's attention was caught by something outside, turned his head to look, and Perkass was beat upside the back of the head.
"ARGH! Will you please stop?!" Perkass yelled
The Daimao's red eyes narrowed. "Well, you're the one who wanted to sit here. Shut up already," he said calmly.
Perkass got up and went to sit with Olin near the front. Then Mazoku went over to sit by Kestra.
"Why'd the flamer leave?" she asked.
Kestra shrugged. "I don't care. The only thing he did was whine. Why'd you come over here?"
"Because Pikku fell asleep and he snores really loud." Mazoku shrugged
Kestra looked over at Pikku who now had Synth crawling all over his head with her farting hedgehog plushie.
"Ahh...Synth is a little retard" Mazoku retorted
"Heh," Kestra replied, as he turned back to watch his niece crawling all over her dad's head, before he knew it he was asleep. Back in the back of the bus Raiel was still losing...his 7th game...
"Oh yeah!" Raiel screamed. "You lost this time Sizer AHAHAHAHAHA!!" he laughed as Sizer took off her shirt. Kei, who was up in the overhead bin was laughing hysterically as she watched Sizer strip. On to the front of the bus Clari had Spam in his lap.
"Ehhh.... uh, Mr. Bus driver man," he asked as he tapped him on the shoulder, "Can we pull up and to a rest stop soon?" The bus driver looked at him and replied.
"You know I have a name!! Yeah and it happens to be Mouthpiece!! So if you want something you should ask more politely next time!!" Clari sweat-dropped, Spam gave the biggest death glare she could pull off and made a mental note to eat him later.
"Ummmm...ok Mr. Mouthpiece may it be permissible that we go to a rest stop?"
"Yes!"
Mouthpiece pulled the bus into the next rest stop. While everyone fought to get off the bus, they trampled Trom. The next fight was to see who could get to the bathroom first. Needless to say, Mazoku and the other Mazoku women won the fight to the girl's bathroom while the Mazoku guys won the fight to the men's room.
Unfortunately, these were the bathrooms with automatic toilets, sinks an, hand dryers, ect. The only thing not automatic was the door. Mazoku had never seen anything like this before. It seemed every time she moved the toilet flushed. That was highly irritating. After fighting the toilet for a few minuets, she went to try getting the sink to work. The sign said to hold your hands under the faucet...five minuets later...Mazoku was really pissed now. The sink didn't ever work! She looked around for something to beat it with. Unfortunately, the only thing close by was Flute.
"Hey! What are you doing?!" Flute shrieked as Mazoku grabbed her wrist
"Umm...I'm trying to get the sink to work. You're going to help me," Mazoku answered.
She picked Flute up and smacked the sink with her a few times. Finally, the sink broke off the wall and water gushed out of the pipes. Mazoku put some soap on her hands and used the water pouring out of the wall. Then she went back outside where Pikku was waiting for her.
"What took you so long?" he asked
"Well, that stupid sink was broken, so I fixed it," Mazoku replied
Pikku stared at her then the bathroom
"Umm...why is there water flowing out of the bathroom then?"
Mazoku looked at the bathroom and saw Spam floating on a sink like a surfboard and numerous other people flowing out of the bathroom from the title wave of water.
"Ouu...Oh well," Mazoku shrugged.
As Pikku and Mazoku were walking back to the bus they ran into Kesrta who was glaring at something down the road. Pikku tapped him on the shoulder.
"Umm....Kestra-sama? What are you doing?"
"Look down the road and tell me what you see," Kestra responded pointing down the road. Pikku and Mazoku squinted trying to see what Kestra was talking about, then they saw. Both of them burst out laughing. Then Clari walked over with Spam in his hair.
"What are you guys doing? The bus is gonna leave in a few minuets." Clari said. Kestra grabbed Clari and showed him.
"Tell me what you see..."
"Ooouuuuuuu...um didn't we pick up Harp when we left tho?" Clari asked
"Not that I recall," Pikku responded
"Yeah...he is kinda hard to miss..." Mazoku added
"Well...now that you mention it...." Clari said
Just then Harp ran up panting for air. "*pant* Why...didn't...you....wait....for .....me?"
"Because you're a fag and we 'accidentally' forgot about you," Kesrta sneered.
"Well...noone....cares....about...you.....either..." Harp said trying to sound all cool and macho, except Kestra only found it very irritating. "And....uh...yeah...if...you don't....leave...me alone....I am gonna....use my....fairy magic....on you...."
Kestra burst out laughing. "I am serious!" Harp yelled as he tried to shoot Kestra, which just made him laugh harder. Soon Kestra just got tired of Harp wasting his time so he just blew him up...just leaving his shoes and socks. "Ok. ^__^ We can go now," Kestra said happily.
"R-Right," Clari responded
"Come on guys! The bus is leaving in a few seconds!" Hamel yelled.
"Yeah, yeah were coming!" Pikku yelled back. So the four of them walked back to the bus and got on. With only a few glares from and slight mumbling from Mouth Piece the bus ride started again without a hitch. Not much went on the rest of the way; people were sleeping, reading a manga, listing to music, or a combination of both. The only one actually up and doing something was Bass, and even then he wasn't up, he was rolling around between the isles but after Mouth Piece made a sharp turn to avoid hitting a cow, Bass went rolling under the seat and into a corner were he bumped into something.
"Hey! My body!" Bass exclaimed as he attached himself back to his body. Bass crawled out from under the seats and started parading around the bus to random people but this just pissed people off and got him beat up or yelled at because everyone was just plain grumpy. He tried harassing Clari but Spam just bit off his hand, he tried Hamel and Flute but he just got hit with a mallet, Kestra, Pikku, and Mazoku all just punched him. Krisis and Ocarina just glared at him, Coro put a spell on him and he grew big mice ears. Sizer chased him around with her scythe, and Vocal laughed at him and called him a farking little retard. With his self-esteem lowered dramatically and missing a few teeth and his hand, Bass went to sit and not say anything the rest of the trip. After a few hours they finally arrived at the boat. The security guards checked everyone, and held Mazoku, Kesrta, Pikku, Spam, Krisis, Synth, Drum and Guitar back.
"Sorry guys you cant go, you have dangerous weapons on your heads.... or you just look really freaky..." the guard responded
"I don't think so you little farker...we drove all the way up here and had to suffer thru the many retards that came along. We are going on this Goddamned trip!" Mazoku yelled.
"Um, nope, I can---"the security guard didn't even get to finish before Spam ate him. Pikku patted her on the head and they all caught up with the rest of their gang. When they got to the baggage pickup, everyone found their bags except Kestra.
"Oh this is great! Those stupid dumb-asses lost my bag _*" Kestra growled, "Oh well, I will just steal someone else's." So Kesrta grabbed a random bag and took it onto the boat, hoping the owner of it wasn't female. With Spam hanging on his waist Clari trudged up the stairs and onto the boat, this was going to be a long trip.... he had to room with Kesrta and Pikku, and his sister Coro.