The mess hall was half-empty when they entered a few minutes later,
completely dressed and hungry. The five pilots had the option of using a
separate and private dining area, but after so long being alone during the
war, they usually preferred the activity that surrounded them in the mess.
Against one wall was the food line, and the rest of the room supported comfortable chairs that were conducive to long conversations, and thankfully comfortable enough to sit in after long bouts of lovemaking.
Quatre smiled as they entered, Trowa's arm wrapped possessively around his shoulder. He loved it when Trowa displayed to the world that they belonged to each other; he felt all a glow when the world saw how happy they were together. He had his arm about his lover's waist and a smile that, for the first time in a long time, he actually felt.
"QUATRE!!!!!!!!!" He saw Duo come at him in a flying run before he stepped away from Trowa to prevent them both going down. The tackle was complete and both he and Duo landed squarely on the ground. He gave a yelp as his still sore bottom landed against the tiled floor.
Duo didn't notice and instead had his arms wrapped around his neck and waist, hugging him in a death grip. "Duo.I missed you too.but you have to let me up.I can't.breathe." He was exaggerating, but not by much.
"Man Quatre, you can be such a wimp sometimes, I was barely touching you!" His smile took over his entire face, and Quatre could tell that he was genuinely happy to see his best friend again.
"Duo, get off him. You could have injured him."
"No, Heero, I'm fine." His butt shifted across the floor and he groaned, "Well, basically fine."
He shouldn't have said that, "OH God! Quatre, I didn't really hurt you did I? I'm so sorry. Heero says I don't know my own strength, but I just thought he was kidding, or talking about sex-"
SMACK!!!
"HEY, Heero, what was that for?!"
"Duo no baka!"
"What'd I do this time?!" Duo winked at Quatre, letting him know that he knew exactly what he'd done, and completely enjoyed his partners' slight embarrassment. Standing, Duo offered Quatre his hand before hauling him to his feet. Duo went over to mock Heero some more, while Trowa moved in behind Quatre.
"Are you alright?"
His lover was so attentive, "Yeah, I'm fine." He rubbed his hand over his lower cheeks discreetly, "But next time, sex after food with Duo." The roar of laughter that came from Trowa had the entire dining hall staring at them. Duo and Heero even looked stunned, and all Quatre could do was bow his head in embarrassment and allow his cheeks to blaze a fiery crimson.
"OH, I think there's a story here!" Duo moved closer to the pair and nudged Quatre with his elbow. "Ok Q. spill, what's so funny to make Mr. Painting laugh that loud?"
"He's not a painting! He's the most gorgeous, perfect, and loving man I've ever known," Quatre defended.
Suddenly a huge smile erupted on Duo's face, and even Heero was sporting a grin. "So the sex was that good, huh?"
Quatre flushed again, but felt Trowa's hands squeeze his waist affectionately. He looked Duo square in the face then said, "Mind altering."
Duo's whoop could be heard across the dining hall, and those that knew the pilots well smiled to themselves at the groups' antics. If anyone deserved happiness, it was the group of boys that had been forced to become men far too soon.
"Quatre, I swear, it's great to have you back with us!" Duo draped his hand across Quatre's shoulders and addressed the entire mess hall. "Excuse me!" Everyone was already looking at them, so it didn't take long for him to gain their attention. "I would just like you all to know that my best friend Quatre," he moved his other hand to indicate him, "has once again decided to join the land of the living, and enjoying with us tonight, the fine delicacies this great establishment has to offer." Loud protests to his implying the food was any good could be heard from all corners of the room. "But mostly I'd like you all to know that our ever so handsome Arabian knight-ladies he's taken, so back off-has just had the most-"
"QUATRE!!!!" The small voice broke Duo's monologue and shifted the audiences' attention away from the blushing blond to the little red haired girl that came running across the room from the other entrance. Her shoulder length hair swung into her face as she ran around chairs and dashed past people to get to her bestest best friend.
"MARIEMINNA!" Quatre stepped away from Duo, and enveloped the small girl in a huge hug before lifting her off the ground, and swinging her into the air. Her joyous laughter filled the room, as people applauded both that Duo had been shut up and for the display before them.
Quatre hugged the little girl close to him, stopping the twirling action, "Marieminna, I missed you so much! How are you?"
Flushed from her sprint across the room, her cheek were aglow as she looked at him, love shining in her eyes. "I missed you so much Quatre! I've done so many things since you came to play with me. And I've got so much to tell you! Quatre, you're not going to believe what's happened!"
"What, tell me, quick!" He loved this little girl. During that terrible incident where she had literally been out of her mind, Quatre had still felt such a pull towards her. She was innocence personified and yet held the cold and calculating intellect to bring down life as they knew it. Marieminna had received the best counseling the Earth and the colonies had to offer, and thanks to that, and Lady Une's constant and loving supervision, she had almost regressed to her former childlike state. There were moments of course, that she seemed to remember the past, when she'd act like the dictator she'd almost become; but for the most part, she was now only the sweet little girl that he loved to play with, talk to, and take places. So many times he'd wished that any child he could ever have would be as carefree and wonderful as the child he now held in his arms.
"Oh Quatre, it's so amazing, you're going to be so proud of me!" She could barely contain her excitement as she latched her arms more firmly around his neck. "I finally did it! Just like you said, and it was great, and I'm so happy, and so is Mom, and I--everything is perfect!"
Quatre tried his best to follow her train of thought, but it was so hard when one as young as Marieminna got started. "Ok! Ok, tell me! I can't wait!" His smile lit up his face, and he could see his friends also sharing smiles between themselves. It had been a long time since he'd smiled so openly, a very long time.
"I did just like you said, and I thought really, really hard about it. Then I went and talked to Deteera, and even Jakone before I decided." Quatre recognized the names of her two favorite counselors, before she continued in a rush. "Then even when I finished talking with them, I wanted to talk to you, but you weren't feeling well, so I had to think for myself, but that was ok, because I'm super smart." She giggled at her own admission, and Quatre couldn't help the laugh that broke from him.
Behind Marieminna's head, Quatre saw Lady Une standing a discrete distance away, allowing the reunion. He smiled at her and nodded in greeting, which she returned. Turning back to the bundle of energy in his arms, he motioned for her to continue.
"So like I said, I thought really long and hard about it, and then I decided to do it! I wanted to tell you first, but Trowa said that your heart was sick and that I had to wait to visit you until you were better. I was kinda sad, but I told Trowa-" she stopped mid sentence, and looked from Trowa back to him. "Quatre, Trowa said he wouldn't tell you. He didn't did he?"
Looking to Trowa, he shook his head, "Nope, Trowa hasn't said anything to me. So what is it, did you convince Lady Une to give you that puppy you wanted?"
"Puppy?" She seemed confused before she remembered the conversation they'd had in the park over a month ago. "No, I don't need a puppy now; I got something even better!" Her face seemed to light up even more, and Quatre had a mind to search for the battery that had to have been installed in her petite body somewhere.
In a stage-whisper, she leaned very close to him, "I asked Lady Une if I could call her Mom." Her smile rivaled the sun as she gazed at Quatre then. He was stunned, marveled at the wondrous girl in his arms. "And you know what she said?" He looked at her expectantly, but already knowing the answer, "She said YES!!!!" She yelled the last part, leaning away from Quatre before changing her mind, and throwing her full weight against him.
"Marieminna, that's wonderful! I'm so proud of you. You did it! Oh goodness, I'm so proud of you!" She sat back, basking in the praise he gave her. "You were so brave; I bet it took a lot of courage to ask her to be your Mom, huh?" She nodded her head. "Well then, you are the bravest girl in the whole wide word! I'm so happy for you. You have to tell me everything!"
She opened her mouth to start, but then suddenly closed it and her bright smile dimmed just a little. He grew worried as she looked over his shoulder at Trowa before returning her sobered eyes to his. "Quatre, can I ask you a question?"
Not knowing what else to do at her sudden and uncharacteristic mood change he nodded.
She struggled for a moment, seeming to weigh her words in a fashion that reminded him of her early years in the complex, when she'd still been trying desperately to decide which persona she wanted to place her trust in. "Your heart," she paused, "it's better isn't it? You're not sick anymore, are you?"
Pulling her close, he felt his heart go out to her, and he wrapped her into a tight hold. Carefully, he allowed a small, controlled link to form between the two. He rarely ever linked to anyone besides Trowa, but Marieminna had been a distant second as her energy and joy in life often drew away his darker moods. Through the link he passed her his feelings of acceptance, and love; he surrounded her with warmth and happiness.
Her eyes lit up, and she tightened her hold around his neck, "Is that how you really feel, Quatre?" She was so astute, catching onto things he'd been able to prevent even Trowa from discovering.
He'd been watching her play one day, drawing from her the happiness she felt in his company when she'd suddenly stopped and asked why he was tugging. Not having been touching her, he questioned her remark. "I just felt you tugging on me, like you wanted me to give you something." He'd known then that she was slightly empathic, and had told her in simple terms as such. She'd been so excited, but had taken his advice to keep very quiet about it. "I'm only going to tell Lady Une. She'd want to know." He'd told her that was fine, but that she shouldn't tell that it had been himself that had explained. He hadn't wanted his abilities to come into question at the time. Again she'd agreed and proceeded to tell Lady all about how she'd read a book and believed she really was empathic. Later tests had proven that she was marginally sensitive.
But now she was calling him on his emotions, and he'd promised himself that he would never lie to her intentionally, "Yep, that's how I really feel. I'm all better. You wait and see, we're going to do everything together now. I have to make up for lost time, don't I?" She nodded her head, her smile returning to its earlier brightness. "Good, now, I'll tell you what, I'm super hungry, 'cause it's been a long time since I ate anything," he whispered loud enough so the group standing a few feet away could hear, "I think Trowa's been eating all the food; does he look a little bit fat to you?"
Her eyes danced over to Trowa, who hadn't seemed to gain a pound since their days as pilots. Understanding the joke, she giggled and leaned really close, their noses touching, "Yeah! He looks like he ate all the cake! He's bigger than a house!" She collapsed into a fit of giggles then, and Quatre couldn't help following her as Trowa feigned being stunned and hurt.
Quatre set Marieminna down gently on the floor before moving to Trowa's side and pretended to assess him. "Yep, I think he ate all the cake, and then probably all the ice cream too!" Another round of giggles had Marieminna nearly rolling on the floor, and he couldn't stop himself from giving Trowa a wink.
Leaning up to him, Quatre whispered for his ears only, "Don't worry, love, we'll make sure to work off all that food so you don't get fat." Trowa smiled a knowing smile, before dipping his head to capture Quatre's lips in a light kiss. Again, Quatre reveled in the public display of affection.
Taking Trowa's hand, the two lovers walked to the counter to order their dinners.
"You're great with her, Quatre."
He smiled, "Thanks. She's just what I've always wanted, an adoring little sister to do everything with. Plus she's so cute."
They collected their food and returned to the table that now sported Duo, Heero, Wufei-who'd entered some time during the banter between himself and Trowa- Marieminna who'd saved a special seat for him, and Lady Une.
"Congratulations on your newest title Lady Une." She blushed under the compliment before Marieminna hugged her about the waist.
"Thank you, it is quite an honor. One I hope to do justice."
"I have absolutely no doubt in your abilities."
They sat, surrounded by friends who were as good, if not better than family. He chatted with Duo, and even held a mini conversation with Heero. Marieminna had so much to tell him that her tiny voice dominated the conversation to the point where her new mom had to tell her to let him talk with the others for a little while.
They talked and laughed, and before long, Quatre had eaten four times his normal amounts, too which Duo teased and cajoled. As the time grew on, Marieminna and Lady Une excused themselves, and Quatre promised to visit the little girl after her lessons were over tomorrow.
Then it was just the five of them. Like old times, they chatted; Duo and himself carrying the conversation, while Heero and Trowa interjected a few words of wisdom here and there. Wufei smiled and chuckled in all the right places, but Quatre could see him watching Sally-who sat with another woman a few tables away.
"Wufei, why don't you invite Sally and her friend over? It's been so long since I had a chance to spend any time with her that didn't involve me being on the receiving end of one lecture or another." He smiled to show his humor; Wufei returned the gesture before going over to retrieve his girlfriend.
Conspiratorially, Quatre leaned in towards Duo, the one amongst them who was the closest to the Shelong pilot, "He hasn't asked her yet, has he?"
Duo snorted, "Please! That guy's just going to wait until hell freezes over before he pops the question." An evil glint entered into his eyes before he said, "But you know Quatre, it's been a long time since we tried our hand at annoying Wufei. Maybe it's time to think up a plan to get them married and Sally pregnant with twins; what do you say?"
Quatre watched Heero roll his eyes before he nodded. He looked at Trowa knowing that he'd have a secret smile, but was surprised to find him looking away from the table of friends entirely.
Following his gaze, he saw the woman Sally had been eating with stand to follow Wufei back to the table. Thinking to tease his lover, Quatre leaned ever so close to him before asking, "Do you like what you see?"
His earlier words from their time in the shower brought Trowa rushing back to him. A remembered look of lust crossed his face before he turned a cute shade of pink. Quatre laughed and rested his hand on the other's knee, "Sorry Trowa, it was too easy; I had to go for it."
A sly smile broke Trowa's face, "Oh, don't worry, you'll pay for it later."
Smiling widely, Quatre pressed his lips to Trowa's just as Wufei returned to the table.
"Oh for the love of-can't you two wait until after we're done eating?!"
Raising his hand at the challenge, Duo remarked, "I'm done; and I for one want to see some tongue action!"
"You would, Maxwell."
"Wu-man, you're just jealous! Quatre, maybe you should drop Trowa and show Wufei what he's missing."
A protesting gasp issued from Quatre who snuggled into Trowa's chest, and Sally's red faced embarrassment caused the entire table to erupt into fits of laughter.
Once settled, introductions were made. "Quatre, I'd like you too meet Dr. Corinne Namon, Corinne this is Quatre Rababera Winner."
He held out his hand, "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I'm sure any friend of Sally's is a wonderful friend indeed."
He noticed the shift in the mood almost immediately, and turned to Trowa for an explanation. But it was Corinne who eventually explained.
"Congratulations on your control."
Confused, he turned back towards the doctor and said, "I'm sorry, I don't understand."
"With the little girl, that was a very controlled link. Usually people who have just passed through an Empathic Storm don't path with as much control. Congratulations."
Her tone wasn't condescending, but the shock at being discovered by anyone registered itself plainly on his face.
"I'm sorry, the Dr. stands for Doctor of Psychiatry, but more importantly a doctor of empathic medicine. I was told you were expecting me." She gave him a real smile before sitting back and waiting for Quatre's response.
Waiting a beat to gain his footing, Quatre returned the smile, "Well then it really is my pleasure to meet you. And yes, Trowa did mention that you would be coming. I do hate to disappoint you, but it seems that I no longer require your expert services. I will however, provide any due compensation you think appropriate." His voice was almost cold and very calculating. It was his father's voice, and he hated using it. Even when he'd been younger, and with the servants, he'd always had a warm inflection in his voice. But this woman was an empath and not to be trusted; it was too easy for her to learn too much too fast.
"I appreciate your concern, but I think that there might be some things we still need to discuss. Perhaps tomorrow afternoon would be easier for you on such short notice." Her smile spoke of power over him, and she knew exactly what she was doing. Quatre felt his blood boil as he tried to think of an easy way to dismiss her and return the jovial atmosphere that had left the table.
"I'm afraid I can't make that appointment. Furthermore, there have been some new developments to my," he paused, "case. It won't be necessary of me to take up more of your precious time."
"Oh please, my time belongs solely to you. If you don't mind though, I'd appreciate hearing about these 'new developments;' they could greatly help me understand your case, as it were. I feel that I've learned quite a bit watching you since you entered this evening, but I'm curious as to your own assessment of yourself."
She was baiting him, and he felt the rage consume him. How dare this woman think to play him for a fool. He'd dealt with his sisters, elitist society, and even his father; this woman had nothing on any of them. He knew from past experience with empaths that she had been setting a base while he'd been chatting unknowingly with his friends. He also knew that from the base she'd established, she could tell without a shadow of a doubt almost everything he was feeling now. He'd have to be careful.
"I of course am not a doctor of your caliber, but I woke up feeling quite rested, and I'm sure you know the value of a good nights sleep." She nodded her head as would be expected. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Duo's expression. Duo had once witnessed him talking to a diplomat from the colonies while they stayed together during the war. He'd often said that he never wanted to hear Quatre's "I'm the king of the world" voice; it just freaked him out. Quatre made a mental note to apologize to Duo later. "Also, I've come to a better understanding with my partner, and I feel this will work out nicely. I again thank you for your time and consideration, but I will be able to work through this on my own from this point."
"You'll forgive me Mr. Winner-may I call you Quatre-Quatre, but I'm afraid I don't think you have the unbiased outlook you should to assess your case. More to the point, and I hope you don't mind me being blunt, but you're actually a little too unstable for me to let you try to handle this on your own." Her smile stung bitter sweet, and Quatre felt every muscle in his body tense with frustration.
"It seems Sally has placed you in very high regard, and I couldn't possibly take you away from patients that could benefit more from your expertise." He rolled the last word off his tongue, allowing it to act as the final blow to end the conversation. It didn't work that way.
A small laugh issued from the black haired woman, "My, it is true; you are very good at this. Your father trained you quite well to be a regular bastard."
Her remark cut to the quick, and he felt himself rise up to the challenge. "Madam, you know absolutely nothing about either myself or my father. Regardless of what anyone at this table may have told you, you have no idea what you are talking about. I suggest you reconsider your words, carefully."
"I'm sure that no one at this table could have told me anything about your past. I doubt you've ever given a complete answer about who you really are to any of them, even Trowa. But I assure you, that after having read your journals, I'm confident in my assessment."
That bitch! His mind screamed at him that she-who was no one, but a barrier between himself and freedom-had crossed a line as old as time. He shot from his seat, standing over her. "I do hope that you were joking just now, Madam. Because if you were not, I fully intent to bring you up on charges of theft and slander."
"You of course could try, but it would never work, as I was hired by the Preventers, the department you work for. As such, I have the right-and responsibility to my patient-to do whatever I feel necessary to help him. And before you say it, the Preventers have the right to appoint anyone they choose as a medical advisor without the consent of the patient-which would be you, Quatre. Beyond that, your partner Trowa has agreed to my treating your case."
Her words struck him as he realized she was absolutely correct. Needing to lash out at someone for his lack of control, he turned to Trowa. "Is what she's said true, did you agree to having her in this-position?"
Trowa sat dejectedly in his chair. With a resigned sigh, he looked to Quatre and nodded his head. "I though it best-"
"BEST! You have no idea what's best for me!" For some reason, it was easier to fight against Trowa. The absence of the link kept Trowa's pain at his words from bleeding over, and he found himself reveling in the newly allowed power he felt. At the same time however, a small part of him railed at the way he was treating his lover.
"Quatre-"
"NO! Trowa this is completely unacceptable! How could you even think to presume such a thing, and especially without my consent! What were you thinking?!"
Just then the dam that had been keeping the link closed burst, flooding his mind with the pain Trowa had experienced by his words and actions. Letting out a strangled gasp, Quatre clutched his heart and fell to his knees trying not to scream in agony. Disgust washed over him as he felt Trowa's frantic concern for him. How could Trowa feel anything for him, he was a monster? He promised again and again not to hurt Trowa, and again and again he had. Trowa, he'd failed Trowa again.
Then, just as suddenly as it had opened, the link slammed shut, and Quatre collapsed in relief against Trowa. His head swam with the after effects, and he clung desperately to Trowa, begging silently for forgiveness. Gentle arms encircled him in warmth and safety, and it took everything he had not to push away from the sense of love he didn't deserve.
"Easy Trowa. Quatre's just realized the pain of his words against you. He'd dealing with the backlash from your emotions."
"Quatre," Her voice, once as cold as his, was now warm with genuine desire to help him, "I know it's hard to believe right now, but you didn't do anything wrong. Everyone gets angry; it's ok to get angry with Trowa when you think he's hurt you. It's ok to feel hurt or pain. Trowa still loves you even though you got angry. He's not going to abandon you because you yelled at him. He's right here, and you need him right now; it's alright to need someone, Quatre."
He heard her voice continue but took no notice. All he wanted to do was get away from Trowa before he hurt him again. Then something she was saying brought his attention back to her. "Quatre, Trowa doesn't blame you; he knows you're hurting right now, and he is strong enough to help you through this. You have to believe him, in your love. Listen to your heart Quatre; you and Trowa have worked so hard together to be together. Trowa isn't going to back down now; he and you have invested too much time and energy, too much of yourselves into this to run away. You do deserve his help Quatre; that's what couples do, they help each other. Don't run away; do as you promised. Trowa passed the test, trust him to help you, trust him with yourself."
He felt the gentle touch of her emotions then, kind and full of care. With easy motions he felt the dam across the link lifted just a bit so he could feel Trowa's emotions trickle over his senses. He felt worry and apprehension, but mostly he felt an over powering sense of love and devotion. Trowa, his most precious Trowa, would not leave him. He'd passed the test. He could trust Trowa; he could believe in him.
Slowly, with almost painful movements, Quatre lifted his head and looked into the single visible emerald that stood guardian to Trowa's soul. He lifted his hand, and with a light touch, caressed Trowa's uncovered cheek. "Trowa-I'm sorry I yelled at you. I know you were only trying to help me." He took a deep breath. "Maybe-maybe I'm not as better as I thought I was." Letting the sentence die, Quatre shifted and leaned into Trowa, allowing strong arms to again cradle him close.
"You will get better, Quatre. I'm going to help you. We'll get through this together, I promise."
He nodded his head against Trowa's chest and allowed himself a moment's rest. So much, too much to process in one moment. He'd thought he was better, thought he would be able to handle anything now that Trowa was there to help him. But he couldn't seem to allow the idea that Trowa wouldn't betray him, couldn't grasp the notion that love could conquer trust to become one. He'd given too much of himself away, allowed his family to take everything from him, and now he didn't even know how to let his lover-the man he planned to spend the rest of his life with-even into his real life.
Still clinging to Trowa, Quatre waited for what was to come.
"Quatre, I've completely replaced the block on the link you and Trowa share. Let me help you. You're not strong enough to handle everything right now; I don't think anyone is strong enough to deal with the things you've had to in your short life. I know you want to get better Quatre; I can sense that in everything you do; you want to trust Trowa, to allow him in. I can help you conquer your demons; I can help you help yourself. It isn't going to be easy, but the fact that you want to get better may be enough."
He felt Trowa's arms tighten around him, and he offered the doctor a slight nod of his head in reply.
"Alright then. Trowa, I think you should take Quatre back to your rooms; there isn't anything that a med. team could do for him except administer a sedative, and I doubt Quatre would like to have one more of those. I'll come by tomorrow morning, and we'll begin; is that alright with you, Quatre?"
Again he nodded his head before he felt gentle hands help him up. He leaned desperately against Trowa as they moved as one back to their rooms. Quatre didn't even have enough energy to say goodbye to Duo.
Against one wall was the food line, and the rest of the room supported comfortable chairs that were conducive to long conversations, and thankfully comfortable enough to sit in after long bouts of lovemaking.
Quatre smiled as they entered, Trowa's arm wrapped possessively around his shoulder. He loved it when Trowa displayed to the world that they belonged to each other; he felt all a glow when the world saw how happy they were together. He had his arm about his lover's waist and a smile that, for the first time in a long time, he actually felt.
"QUATRE!!!!!!!!!" He saw Duo come at him in a flying run before he stepped away from Trowa to prevent them both going down. The tackle was complete and both he and Duo landed squarely on the ground. He gave a yelp as his still sore bottom landed against the tiled floor.
Duo didn't notice and instead had his arms wrapped around his neck and waist, hugging him in a death grip. "Duo.I missed you too.but you have to let me up.I can't.breathe." He was exaggerating, but not by much.
"Man Quatre, you can be such a wimp sometimes, I was barely touching you!" His smile took over his entire face, and Quatre could tell that he was genuinely happy to see his best friend again.
"Duo, get off him. You could have injured him."
"No, Heero, I'm fine." His butt shifted across the floor and he groaned, "Well, basically fine."
He shouldn't have said that, "OH God! Quatre, I didn't really hurt you did I? I'm so sorry. Heero says I don't know my own strength, but I just thought he was kidding, or talking about sex-"
SMACK!!!
"HEY, Heero, what was that for?!"
"Duo no baka!"
"What'd I do this time?!" Duo winked at Quatre, letting him know that he knew exactly what he'd done, and completely enjoyed his partners' slight embarrassment. Standing, Duo offered Quatre his hand before hauling him to his feet. Duo went over to mock Heero some more, while Trowa moved in behind Quatre.
"Are you alright?"
His lover was so attentive, "Yeah, I'm fine." He rubbed his hand over his lower cheeks discreetly, "But next time, sex after food with Duo." The roar of laughter that came from Trowa had the entire dining hall staring at them. Duo and Heero even looked stunned, and all Quatre could do was bow his head in embarrassment and allow his cheeks to blaze a fiery crimson.
"OH, I think there's a story here!" Duo moved closer to the pair and nudged Quatre with his elbow. "Ok Q. spill, what's so funny to make Mr. Painting laugh that loud?"
"He's not a painting! He's the most gorgeous, perfect, and loving man I've ever known," Quatre defended.
Suddenly a huge smile erupted on Duo's face, and even Heero was sporting a grin. "So the sex was that good, huh?"
Quatre flushed again, but felt Trowa's hands squeeze his waist affectionately. He looked Duo square in the face then said, "Mind altering."
Duo's whoop could be heard across the dining hall, and those that knew the pilots well smiled to themselves at the groups' antics. If anyone deserved happiness, it was the group of boys that had been forced to become men far too soon.
"Quatre, I swear, it's great to have you back with us!" Duo draped his hand across Quatre's shoulders and addressed the entire mess hall. "Excuse me!" Everyone was already looking at them, so it didn't take long for him to gain their attention. "I would just like you all to know that my best friend Quatre," he moved his other hand to indicate him, "has once again decided to join the land of the living, and enjoying with us tonight, the fine delicacies this great establishment has to offer." Loud protests to his implying the food was any good could be heard from all corners of the room. "But mostly I'd like you all to know that our ever so handsome Arabian knight-ladies he's taken, so back off-has just had the most-"
"QUATRE!!!!" The small voice broke Duo's monologue and shifted the audiences' attention away from the blushing blond to the little red haired girl that came running across the room from the other entrance. Her shoulder length hair swung into her face as she ran around chairs and dashed past people to get to her bestest best friend.
"MARIEMINNA!" Quatre stepped away from Duo, and enveloped the small girl in a huge hug before lifting her off the ground, and swinging her into the air. Her joyous laughter filled the room, as people applauded both that Duo had been shut up and for the display before them.
Quatre hugged the little girl close to him, stopping the twirling action, "Marieminna, I missed you so much! How are you?"
Flushed from her sprint across the room, her cheek were aglow as she looked at him, love shining in her eyes. "I missed you so much Quatre! I've done so many things since you came to play with me. And I've got so much to tell you! Quatre, you're not going to believe what's happened!"
"What, tell me, quick!" He loved this little girl. During that terrible incident where she had literally been out of her mind, Quatre had still felt such a pull towards her. She was innocence personified and yet held the cold and calculating intellect to bring down life as they knew it. Marieminna had received the best counseling the Earth and the colonies had to offer, and thanks to that, and Lady Une's constant and loving supervision, she had almost regressed to her former childlike state. There were moments of course, that she seemed to remember the past, when she'd act like the dictator she'd almost become; but for the most part, she was now only the sweet little girl that he loved to play with, talk to, and take places. So many times he'd wished that any child he could ever have would be as carefree and wonderful as the child he now held in his arms.
"Oh Quatre, it's so amazing, you're going to be so proud of me!" She could barely contain her excitement as she latched her arms more firmly around his neck. "I finally did it! Just like you said, and it was great, and I'm so happy, and so is Mom, and I--everything is perfect!"
Quatre tried his best to follow her train of thought, but it was so hard when one as young as Marieminna got started. "Ok! Ok, tell me! I can't wait!" His smile lit up his face, and he could see his friends also sharing smiles between themselves. It had been a long time since he'd smiled so openly, a very long time.
"I did just like you said, and I thought really, really hard about it. Then I went and talked to Deteera, and even Jakone before I decided." Quatre recognized the names of her two favorite counselors, before she continued in a rush. "Then even when I finished talking with them, I wanted to talk to you, but you weren't feeling well, so I had to think for myself, but that was ok, because I'm super smart." She giggled at her own admission, and Quatre couldn't help the laugh that broke from him.
Behind Marieminna's head, Quatre saw Lady Une standing a discrete distance away, allowing the reunion. He smiled at her and nodded in greeting, which she returned. Turning back to the bundle of energy in his arms, he motioned for her to continue.
"So like I said, I thought really long and hard about it, and then I decided to do it! I wanted to tell you first, but Trowa said that your heart was sick and that I had to wait to visit you until you were better. I was kinda sad, but I told Trowa-" she stopped mid sentence, and looked from Trowa back to him. "Quatre, Trowa said he wouldn't tell you. He didn't did he?"
Looking to Trowa, he shook his head, "Nope, Trowa hasn't said anything to me. So what is it, did you convince Lady Une to give you that puppy you wanted?"
"Puppy?" She seemed confused before she remembered the conversation they'd had in the park over a month ago. "No, I don't need a puppy now; I got something even better!" Her face seemed to light up even more, and Quatre had a mind to search for the battery that had to have been installed in her petite body somewhere.
In a stage-whisper, she leaned very close to him, "I asked Lady Une if I could call her Mom." Her smile rivaled the sun as she gazed at Quatre then. He was stunned, marveled at the wondrous girl in his arms. "And you know what she said?" He looked at her expectantly, but already knowing the answer, "She said YES!!!!" She yelled the last part, leaning away from Quatre before changing her mind, and throwing her full weight against him.
"Marieminna, that's wonderful! I'm so proud of you. You did it! Oh goodness, I'm so proud of you!" She sat back, basking in the praise he gave her. "You were so brave; I bet it took a lot of courage to ask her to be your Mom, huh?" She nodded her head. "Well then, you are the bravest girl in the whole wide word! I'm so happy for you. You have to tell me everything!"
She opened her mouth to start, but then suddenly closed it and her bright smile dimmed just a little. He grew worried as she looked over his shoulder at Trowa before returning her sobered eyes to his. "Quatre, can I ask you a question?"
Not knowing what else to do at her sudden and uncharacteristic mood change he nodded.
She struggled for a moment, seeming to weigh her words in a fashion that reminded him of her early years in the complex, when she'd still been trying desperately to decide which persona she wanted to place her trust in. "Your heart," she paused, "it's better isn't it? You're not sick anymore, are you?"
Pulling her close, he felt his heart go out to her, and he wrapped her into a tight hold. Carefully, he allowed a small, controlled link to form between the two. He rarely ever linked to anyone besides Trowa, but Marieminna had been a distant second as her energy and joy in life often drew away his darker moods. Through the link he passed her his feelings of acceptance, and love; he surrounded her with warmth and happiness.
Her eyes lit up, and she tightened her hold around his neck, "Is that how you really feel, Quatre?" She was so astute, catching onto things he'd been able to prevent even Trowa from discovering.
He'd been watching her play one day, drawing from her the happiness she felt in his company when she'd suddenly stopped and asked why he was tugging. Not having been touching her, he questioned her remark. "I just felt you tugging on me, like you wanted me to give you something." He'd known then that she was slightly empathic, and had told her in simple terms as such. She'd been so excited, but had taken his advice to keep very quiet about it. "I'm only going to tell Lady Une. She'd want to know." He'd told her that was fine, but that she shouldn't tell that it had been himself that had explained. He hadn't wanted his abilities to come into question at the time. Again she'd agreed and proceeded to tell Lady all about how she'd read a book and believed she really was empathic. Later tests had proven that she was marginally sensitive.
But now she was calling him on his emotions, and he'd promised himself that he would never lie to her intentionally, "Yep, that's how I really feel. I'm all better. You wait and see, we're going to do everything together now. I have to make up for lost time, don't I?" She nodded her head, her smile returning to its earlier brightness. "Good, now, I'll tell you what, I'm super hungry, 'cause it's been a long time since I ate anything," he whispered loud enough so the group standing a few feet away could hear, "I think Trowa's been eating all the food; does he look a little bit fat to you?"
Her eyes danced over to Trowa, who hadn't seemed to gain a pound since their days as pilots. Understanding the joke, she giggled and leaned really close, their noses touching, "Yeah! He looks like he ate all the cake! He's bigger than a house!" She collapsed into a fit of giggles then, and Quatre couldn't help following her as Trowa feigned being stunned and hurt.
Quatre set Marieminna down gently on the floor before moving to Trowa's side and pretended to assess him. "Yep, I think he ate all the cake, and then probably all the ice cream too!" Another round of giggles had Marieminna nearly rolling on the floor, and he couldn't stop himself from giving Trowa a wink.
Leaning up to him, Quatre whispered for his ears only, "Don't worry, love, we'll make sure to work off all that food so you don't get fat." Trowa smiled a knowing smile, before dipping his head to capture Quatre's lips in a light kiss. Again, Quatre reveled in the public display of affection.
Taking Trowa's hand, the two lovers walked to the counter to order their dinners.
"You're great with her, Quatre."
He smiled, "Thanks. She's just what I've always wanted, an adoring little sister to do everything with. Plus she's so cute."
They collected their food and returned to the table that now sported Duo, Heero, Wufei-who'd entered some time during the banter between himself and Trowa- Marieminna who'd saved a special seat for him, and Lady Une.
"Congratulations on your newest title Lady Une." She blushed under the compliment before Marieminna hugged her about the waist.
"Thank you, it is quite an honor. One I hope to do justice."
"I have absolutely no doubt in your abilities."
They sat, surrounded by friends who were as good, if not better than family. He chatted with Duo, and even held a mini conversation with Heero. Marieminna had so much to tell him that her tiny voice dominated the conversation to the point where her new mom had to tell her to let him talk with the others for a little while.
They talked and laughed, and before long, Quatre had eaten four times his normal amounts, too which Duo teased and cajoled. As the time grew on, Marieminna and Lady Une excused themselves, and Quatre promised to visit the little girl after her lessons were over tomorrow.
Then it was just the five of them. Like old times, they chatted; Duo and himself carrying the conversation, while Heero and Trowa interjected a few words of wisdom here and there. Wufei smiled and chuckled in all the right places, but Quatre could see him watching Sally-who sat with another woman a few tables away.
"Wufei, why don't you invite Sally and her friend over? It's been so long since I had a chance to spend any time with her that didn't involve me being on the receiving end of one lecture or another." He smiled to show his humor; Wufei returned the gesture before going over to retrieve his girlfriend.
Conspiratorially, Quatre leaned in towards Duo, the one amongst them who was the closest to the Shelong pilot, "He hasn't asked her yet, has he?"
Duo snorted, "Please! That guy's just going to wait until hell freezes over before he pops the question." An evil glint entered into his eyes before he said, "But you know Quatre, it's been a long time since we tried our hand at annoying Wufei. Maybe it's time to think up a plan to get them married and Sally pregnant with twins; what do you say?"
Quatre watched Heero roll his eyes before he nodded. He looked at Trowa knowing that he'd have a secret smile, but was surprised to find him looking away from the table of friends entirely.
Following his gaze, he saw the woman Sally had been eating with stand to follow Wufei back to the table. Thinking to tease his lover, Quatre leaned ever so close to him before asking, "Do you like what you see?"
His earlier words from their time in the shower brought Trowa rushing back to him. A remembered look of lust crossed his face before he turned a cute shade of pink. Quatre laughed and rested his hand on the other's knee, "Sorry Trowa, it was too easy; I had to go for it."
A sly smile broke Trowa's face, "Oh, don't worry, you'll pay for it later."
Smiling widely, Quatre pressed his lips to Trowa's just as Wufei returned to the table.
"Oh for the love of-can't you two wait until after we're done eating?!"
Raising his hand at the challenge, Duo remarked, "I'm done; and I for one want to see some tongue action!"
"You would, Maxwell."
"Wu-man, you're just jealous! Quatre, maybe you should drop Trowa and show Wufei what he's missing."
A protesting gasp issued from Quatre who snuggled into Trowa's chest, and Sally's red faced embarrassment caused the entire table to erupt into fits of laughter.
Once settled, introductions were made. "Quatre, I'd like you too meet Dr. Corinne Namon, Corinne this is Quatre Rababera Winner."
He held out his hand, "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I'm sure any friend of Sally's is a wonderful friend indeed."
He noticed the shift in the mood almost immediately, and turned to Trowa for an explanation. But it was Corinne who eventually explained.
"Congratulations on your control."
Confused, he turned back towards the doctor and said, "I'm sorry, I don't understand."
"With the little girl, that was a very controlled link. Usually people who have just passed through an Empathic Storm don't path with as much control. Congratulations."
Her tone wasn't condescending, but the shock at being discovered by anyone registered itself plainly on his face.
"I'm sorry, the Dr. stands for Doctor of Psychiatry, but more importantly a doctor of empathic medicine. I was told you were expecting me." She gave him a real smile before sitting back and waiting for Quatre's response.
Waiting a beat to gain his footing, Quatre returned the smile, "Well then it really is my pleasure to meet you. And yes, Trowa did mention that you would be coming. I do hate to disappoint you, but it seems that I no longer require your expert services. I will however, provide any due compensation you think appropriate." His voice was almost cold and very calculating. It was his father's voice, and he hated using it. Even when he'd been younger, and with the servants, he'd always had a warm inflection in his voice. But this woman was an empath and not to be trusted; it was too easy for her to learn too much too fast.
"I appreciate your concern, but I think that there might be some things we still need to discuss. Perhaps tomorrow afternoon would be easier for you on such short notice." Her smile spoke of power over him, and she knew exactly what she was doing. Quatre felt his blood boil as he tried to think of an easy way to dismiss her and return the jovial atmosphere that had left the table.
"I'm afraid I can't make that appointment. Furthermore, there have been some new developments to my," he paused, "case. It won't be necessary of me to take up more of your precious time."
"Oh please, my time belongs solely to you. If you don't mind though, I'd appreciate hearing about these 'new developments;' they could greatly help me understand your case, as it were. I feel that I've learned quite a bit watching you since you entered this evening, but I'm curious as to your own assessment of yourself."
She was baiting him, and he felt the rage consume him. How dare this woman think to play him for a fool. He'd dealt with his sisters, elitist society, and even his father; this woman had nothing on any of them. He knew from past experience with empaths that she had been setting a base while he'd been chatting unknowingly with his friends. He also knew that from the base she'd established, she could tell without a shadow of a doubt almost everything he was feeling now. He'd have to be careful.
"I of course am not a doctor of your caliber, but I woke up feeling quite rested, and I'm sure you know the value of a good nights sleep." She nodded her head as would be expected. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Duo's expression. Duo had once witnessed him talking to a diplomat from the colonies while they stayed together during the war. He'd often said that he never wanted to hear Quatre's "I'm the king of the world" voice; it just freaked him out. Quatre made a mental note to apologize to Duo later. "Also, I've come to a better understanding with my partner, and I feel this will work out nicely. I again thank you for your time and consideration, but I will be able to work through this on my own from this point."
"You'll forgive me Mr. Winner-may I call you Quatre-Quatre, but I'm afraid I don't think you have the unbiased outlook you should to assess your case. More to the point, and I hope you don't mind me being blunt, but you're actually a little too unstable for me to let you try to handle this on your own." Her smile stung bitter sweet, and Quatre felt every muscle in his body tense with frustration.
"It seems Sally has placed you in very high regard, and I couldn't possibly take you away from patients that could benefit more from your expertise." He rolled the last word off his tongue, allowing it to act as the final blow to end the conversation. It didn't work that way.
A small laugh issued from the black haired woman, "My, it is true; you are very good at this. Your father trained you quite well to be a regular bastard."
Her remark cut to the quick, and he felt himself rise up to the challenge. "Madam, you know absolutely nothing about either myself or my father. Regardless of what anyone at this table may have told you, you have no idea what you are talking about. I suggest you reconsider your words, carefully."
"I'm sure that no one at this table could have told me anything about your past. I doubt you've ever given a complete answer about who you really are to any of them, even Trowa. But I assure you, that after having read your journals, I'm confident in my assessment."
That bitch! His mind screamed at him that she-who was no one, but a barrier between himself and freedom-had crossed a line as old as time. He shot from his seat, standing over her. "I do hope that you were joking just now, Madam. Because if you were not, I fully intent to bring you up on charges of theft and slander."
"You of course could try, but it would never work, as I was hired by the Preventers, the department you work for. As such, I have the right-and responsibility to my patient-to do whatever I feel necessary to help him. And before you say it, the Preventers have the right to appoint anyone they choose as a medical advisor without the consent of the patient-which would be you, Quatre. Beyond that, your partner Trowa has agreed to my treating your case."
Her words struck him as he realized she was absolutely correct. Needing to lash out at someone for his lack of control, he turned to Trowa. "Is what she's said true, did you agree to having her in this-position?"
Trowa sat dejectedly in his chair. With a resigned sigh, he looked to Quatre and nodded his head. "I though it best-"
"BEST! You have no idea what's best for me!" For some reason, it was easier to fight against Trowa. The absence of the link kept Trowa's pain at his words from bleeding over, and he found himself reveling in the newly allowed power he felt. At the same time however, a small part of him railed at the way he was treating his lover.
"Quatre-"
"NO! Trowa this is completely unacceptable! How could you even think to presume such a thing, and especially without my consent! What were you thinking?!"
Just then the dam that had been keeping the link closed burst, flooding his mind with the pain Trowa had experienced by his words and actions. Letting out a strangled gasp, Quatre clutched his heart and fell to his knees trying not to scream in agony. Disgust washed over him as he felt Trowa's frantic concern for him. How could Trowa feel anything for him, he was a monster? He promised again and again not to hurt Trowa, and again and again he had. Trowa, he'd failed Trowa again.
Then, just as suddenly as it had opened, the link slammed shut, and Quatre collapsed in relief against Trowa. His head swam with the after effects, and he clung desperately to Trowa, begging silently for forgiveness. Gentle arms encircled him in warmth and safety, and it took everything he had not to push away from the sense of love he didn't deserve.
"Easy Trowa. Quatre's just realized the pain of his words against you. He'd dealing with the backlash from your emotions."
"Quatre," Her voice, once as cold as his, was now warm with genuine desire to help him, "I know it's hard to believe right now, but you didn't do anything wrong. Everyone gets angry; it's ok to get angry with Trowa when you think he's hurt you. It's ok to feel hurt or pain. Trowa still loves you even though you got angry. He's not going to abandon you because you yelled at him. He's right here, and you need him right now; it's alright to need someone, Quatre."
He heard her voice continue but took no notice. All he wanted to do was get away from Trowa before he hurt him again. Then something she was saying brought his attention back to her. "Quatre, Trowa doesn't blame you; he knows you're hurting right now, and he is strong enough to help you through this. You have to believe him, in your love. Listen to your heart Quatre; you and Trowa have worked so hard together to be together. Trowa isn't going to back down now; he and you have invested too much time and energy, too much of yourselves into this to run away. You do deserve his help Quatre; that's what couples do, they help each other. Don't run away; do as you promised. Trowa passed the test, trust him to help you, trust him with yourself."
He felt the gentle touch of her emotions then, kind and full of care. With easy motions he felt the dam across the link lifted just a bit so he could feel Trowa's emotions trickle over his senses. He felt worry and apprehension, but mostly he felt an over powering sense of love and devotion. Trowa, his most precious Trowa, would not leave him. He'd passed the test. He could trust Trowa; he could believe in him.
Slowly, with almost painful movements, Quatre lifted his head and looked into the single visible emerald that stood guardian to Trowa's soul. He lifted his hand, and with a light touch, caressed Trowa's uncovered cheek. "Trowa-I'm sorry I yelled at you. I know you were only trying to help me." He took a deep breath. "Maybe-maybe I'm not as better as I thought I was." Letting the sentence die, Quatre shifted and leaned into Trowa, allowing strong arms to again cradle him close.
"You will get better, Quatre. I'm going to help you. We'll get through this together, I promise."
He nodded his head against Trowa's chest and allowed himself a moment's rest. So much, too much to process in one moment. He'd thought he was better, thought he would be able to handle anything now that Trowa was there to help him. But he couldn't seem to allow the idea that Trowa wouldn't betray him, couldn't grasp the notion that love could conquer trust to become one. He'd given too much of himself away, allowed his family to take everything from him, and now he didn't even know how to let his lover-the man he planned to spend the rest of his life with-even into his real life.
Still clinging to Trowa, Quatre waited for what was to come.
"Quatre, I've completely replaced the block on the link you and Trowa share. Let me help you. You're not strong enough to handle everything right now; I don't think anyone is strong enough to deal with the things you've had to in your short life. I know you want to get better Quatre; I can sense that in everything you do; you want to trust Trowa, to allow him in. I can help you conquer your demons; I can help you help yourself. It isn't going to be easy, but the fact that you want to get better may be enough."
He felt Trowa's arms tighten around him, and he offered the doctor a slight nod of his head in reply.
"Alright then. Trowa, I think you should take Quatre back to your rooms; there isn't anything that a med. team could do for him except administer a sedative, and I doubt Quatre would like to have one more of those. I'll come by tomorrow morning, and we'll begin; is that alright with you, Quatre?"
Again he nodded his head before he felt gentle hands help him up. He leaned desperately against Trowa as they moved as one back to their rooms. Quatre didn't even have enough energy to say goodbye to Duo.