Destiny at Work
Part 1/?: Meeting again
by Mimi 23-03-99/08-02 (skyjade@globetrotter.net)
__________________________
Disclaimers: Nothing in the Star Wars Universe belong to me; everything belongs
to George Lucas. Also, everything related to the spoken parts of Heir to the
Empire belongs to Timothy Zhan. I'm only borrowing it to make more sense with
Mara's or Luke's missing thoughts (when we follow Luke's thoughts in the novel,
this story will cover Mara's, and vice versa ;). Naturally, everything related
to events of Heir to the Empire also belong to Timothy Zhan. Please don't sue
me, it's only for fun; I'm not making any money out of this.
See my home page for more details.
Http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Quasar/3702
Special thanks to Adrianne for her help with beta-reading ? Thank you for
giving me some of your precious time, my friend; I appreciate.
_________________________
Time: After Luke has agreed to help Mara to rescue Karrde aboard the Chimeara.
Feeling relatively uneasy, Luke stared out the viewport as his and Mara's ship
hurtled through hyperspace. His discomfort had nothing to do with his actual
companion though; instead, what was really unsettling him was what had just
happened on Jomark... against Master C'Boath.
Incredible how the old man had played with him, he thought as he squirmed
uncomfortably in his seat. Even more worrying was the fact that the other had
done so without alerting any of his danger senses... danger senses which he
could normally rely on perhaps a little more than he liked yet knew that he
could trust.
This time however, they had remained mute... Hence, if Mara had not come 'to
the rescue'...
He forced himself to not consider what could have happened next and instead
refocused on the surprising... intriguing young woman who had once again
appeared out of nowhere.
She had come to his help---- not that she would admit it of course, he smirked
slightly as he stole a quick glance in her direction. She was plotting a
course on the computer and was concentrating on the task at hand. As he
studied her serious features, the definite attraction he had been feeling for
her just before leaving Myrkr flooded his mind once again.
She really was intriguing, he thought warmly, taking in her beautiful, now
familiar sight. Right now, her red-gold hair was falling over her shoulder,
framing her hard yet delicate face and giving her an almost angelic look. He
shyly made the comparison between her actual look and how he had seen her in the
moonlight and decided that yes, whoever she had been or was now, deep down, she
was an angel. She had merely lost her wings to come down amongst them.
Suddenly catching himself, he turned away from her, fighting down the fiery
blush that was creeping up his cheeks, burning them with his feeling of
foolishness.
And now he was a farmboy again while around her... Well, he admitted with
himself, she truly was beautiful, but she was also a mystery, and a still
potentially dangerous at that. Even though he had missed her ever since they
had parted on Myrkr, he had had to remind himself that she wanted to kill him
when his thoughts for her had brought him to consider searching her out.
Fortunately for him, both Artoo 'and' the C'Boath diversion had made sure to
keep him in check and focused on what he had had to do...
Only to have her seek him out.
Life sure was full of surprises, he thought wryly while he studied the dials and
switches that were on the console in front of him; everything was in order.
Mara Jade, who had sworn and promised him that she would kill him, had just
enlisted him for a mission. No matter what she said or how she acted, he now
knew for certain that she did have a heart. It was simply buried deep down
within her... perhaps to protect itself, or perhaps because it was how she had
come to be while living with the Emperor's Court, he conceded sadly.
Whichever it was though, he reflected, it now seemed ready to come out, if shyly
and uncertainly. Her devotion to Karrde certainly was quite an excellent
indicator that there was more to her than a cold murderer. If she didn't even
care about her boss, he knew from experience that she would not even consider
putting her life in danger for him.
Kind of like Han when he had met him, he smiled inwardly, careful to not betray
his set of mind to his known-yet-unknown companion. Up to now, she had an
excellent control of herself and her deep-seated hatred of him, but he also knew
better than to risk upsetting her in any way.
Anyway, when he had met Han, he too had been a no-care smuggler, perhaps even a
killer to a certain degree although his now brother-in-law had never taken on
any contract of that kind, but he had once admitted to him that he had had his
share of faults toward living beings. Back then, he had not cared about anyone
but himself and Chewie, and the Falcon. Hence, he himself had needed money to
bait him into helping Leia. From this moment on though, Han had begun to change
his outlook on life until he had discovered that having a heart was not a
weakness but a strength.
Han had needed 'his' and Leia's help to discover his true nature; Mara for her
part already seemed to be on her way to at least care about others, if only
about people she knew, but she had cared enough to ask 'him', her arch nemesis,
to help her.
He couldn't help but feel happy for her that she was slowly breaking away from
the Emperor and his cold world of hatred and anger. Even if she would probably
never even like him as a friend, or a mere person she knew, he would be content
to know that she felt friendship, care and perhaps even love for others.
Even though he hadn't known his father 'this' much, he had learnt one thing from
him whenever he had touched his mind: living in the Dark Side and in the
Emperor's slavery had made his life a bleak, deathly-cold, living nightmare.
Hence, if he could help Mara return to the warmth of at least less destructive
feelings, then he promised himself that he would do it. He would help her free
her true nature from the remaining control of the Emperor so that she would be
able to care and love for those she considered her friends.
Even if he would never be part of these people, unless the Force pulled quite a
trick on the both of them, he knew all too well how difficult breaking free from
the Dark Side could be so he would not abandon her to this task.
However, he would not impose his help to her either; he would, like today... let
her come around although he really hadn't expected her to show up ever again in
his life, and especially with a request for him to help her.
His mind made up, he made a point to let her take the initiative as to what
would happen next.
Silence stretched even in his mind as Mara continued to chart their course
through hyperspace, studiously avoiding any conversation with him. He himself
spent time drifting in the Force and considering how he would set his warning
senses on an even more sensitive 'trigger' from now on. Whether he wanted to
think about it or not, C'Boath had really fooled him as if he were a green-
horned farmboy.
The more time passed, and the more Luke's body reminded him that it was past his
bed time. His eyelids slowly became heavier until he was aware that they were
drooping close by themselves.
Sighing inwardly in tiredness, he closed his eyes and let his mind drift. He
wasn't worried right now; he knew that he could trust his companion to not
kill him.
She had saved his life again...
And he was so tired...
He fell asleep practically immediately.
Eventually, Mara felt that she couldn't pretend being busy anymore on an already
programmed computer. Almost reluctantly, she leaned back in her seat and slowly
turned toward her passenger, ready to look away if he caught her watching him.
She thus discovered that he was fast asleep.
Who would've thought?, she thought somewhat warmly. Luke Skywalker was her
passenger, not her prisoner. She had to admit that life was full of surprises.
It was also full of twists that seemed to be out of her control, she reflected,
her mind taking a more resentful turn. After his leaving Myrkr, she had decided
that for the moment, she wouldn't chase him anymore, would leave him be until
she would be able to exact revenge on him without killing him.
Fate however seemed to have decided otherwise and to even push that decision on
her; it had 'forced' her to seek his help to rescue Karrde.
Or had it?
Had it really been a decision out of her control? Or was she still under the
man's power?, she wondered as she gazed absently at his serene features. True,
she 'could' have rescued Karrde by herself just like she had handled all her
missions as Emperor's Hand by herself.
However, she could remember a few of them where an helper would have been
welcome... and Skywalker being skilled enough to take out a whole contingent of
troops even without the Force...
She simply knew better than to underestimate Grand Admiral Thrawn, she reasoned
with herself, and Skywalker was the best partner she could hope for as far as
his abilities went.
If not for them though, she wouldn't even consider that possibility.
Or would she?, she wondered as she remembered the strange, stray thoughts she
had had about the man ever since they had taken different paths on Myrkr. She
hadn't missed him, she tried to convince herself,... not really miss him, and
yet...
She had sometimes found herself thinking that 'Skywalker would be the right
person to speak to right now'. Even more puzzling, such thoughts had always
been accompanied by flashes of their time together on Myrkr, when she had
discovered new facets of her enemy's personality...
Facets she hadn't expected to find in him because they were not in any other man
she had ever dealt with.
Aware that her eyes were drifting lower on the man's body, she brought them back
to his relaxed face, his slightly lulling head and the brown-blond hair that was
falling across his forehead to tickle his eyebrows...
'How many times will I watch him sleep?' she thought, feeling more annoyed at
her ongoing captivation with his features than his presence aboard her ship.
She had watched him sleep every night on Myrkr, had done so even before they had
actually met, and yet..., she admitted, mentally softening once again. Watching
him right now was very different from all the previous times.
For one thing, her mind wasn't filled with lies about him anymore; she had
unwillingly spent time with him, had gotten to know the true Skywalker even if
she had never had any interest to do so.
However, she could now admit that it had been an interesting experience... once
they had gotten past the first moments of dangerous animosity from her part.
She refocused her attention on the aqualine nose, the high cheekbones, the soft
eyelids which hid blue eyes that were making her feel as if she were drowning in
a sea of kindness whenever she gazed straight at them...
No, she admitted, the face of the man hadn't changed since their last meeting,
but her perception of him was changing... definitely softening now even though
she couldn't really comprehend how she had ever let this happen.
Ever since she had been aware of her action, she had been taught to never care
about others, not even her master. Everything had been cold in her world,
bleak, and focused on her duties to her master, sole person of importance in her
life.
Up to now, she had never felt the coldness of her life, had thought that it was
the best way it had to be and had never even considered opening herself to
anything else... then Skywalker had literally dropped on her lap--- and had
blasted her with so much warmth of friendship, worry and care that the ice of
her former world had melted away, allowing her to discover what was the other
side of her emotional coin.
At first, she hadn't realized all this, had not even considered it this way, but
ever since she had left Myrkr, she had spent several hours of the night
considering what had happened to her while in Skywalker's presence, and coupled
with her recurring nightmares, had come to understand that she had just been
given a choice as to how she wanted to live from now on.
Up to now, she hadn't even realized that she had made a choice, but considering
what she had just done to save her boss, she had to admit that she had chosen
the warmer path... the opposite of what her life had been up to now.
Strangely, she had to admit that it made her feel less acid toward everything
and everyone; on the other hand, the dreams seemed to increase in intensity and
frequency ever since she 'had' made that choice too.
As if trying to keep her in her old path. Now however, she knew that it was a
lie, that it was something left behind by her 'liar' of a master to achieve
revenge against Skywalker who had killed him.
But why had her master lied to her?, she wondered more seriously, turning her
seat back toward the main viewport. When Thrawn had told her about there being
other Hands, she had felt as if her world had disappeared from under her feet
once again, but this time 'because' of the one man she had always trusted
blindly.
The Emperor had lied to her. He had lied to her about who and what Skywalker
had been, had lied to her when he had told her that she was his sole Hand...
He had probably lied to her since the beginning, she finally admitted to
herself, her fists clenched in two tight balls of anger. True, she had provided
for her, had given her more than she would have ever had in life, but... Had he
really saved her from her parents?... Or had he taken her from them?
For the briefest of moments, she tried to remember past her childhood, to see
her parents and what happened before she had become aware of her being with the
Emperor, her master.
Nothing.
Resigning herself to this lack of information, she sighed, shook her head to
clear it of anger toward her master. He had probably had his reasons, she
decided even if she didn't like this justification. As for Skywalker, perhaps
he had known which effect the man would have on her and had counterattacked this
effect 'before' giving her the mission, then doing it again with the dream that
was constantly waking up her anger and hatred.
On the other hand, she conceded, gazing once again at her sleeping passenger,
rebel or not, Jedi or not, Skywalker was a good man. For the moment, his death
wouldn't serve her well and she had decided that she was more important than her
dead master who had lied to her about her position in his court.
As new waves of resent churn up her insides, her eyes remained fastened to her
passenger's sleeping features. It seemed to calm her. His face was softly lit
by the surrounding lights, and nothing was creasing his smooth skin.
Like that night when she had stunned him, he looked boyish, somewhat reminding
her of--- and she was loosing it yet again!, she stopped herself as completely
unwelcome feelings of attraction invaded her heart.
Opening some kind of companionship, not even friendship with Skywalker was one
thing, but feeling what she had felt for her long-lost farmboy was something
else altogether.
"Kreth!" she muttered, feeling annoyed by her constantly confused set of mind.
Before meeting Skywalker, she had always been filled with dark hatred, now with
bleak confusion about everything she had ever believed in.
Would she ever know peace and rest?, she asked no one as she turned back toward
the viewport and concentrated hard on clearing her mind of everything for a
while.
She needed to sleep too.
Copyright 1999, 2002 SJ (skyjade@globetrotter.net)
Webmaster : Skyjade(Any positive stuff is welcome, but any mean stuff won't even
be read.)
Part 1/?: Meeting again
by Mimi 23-03-99/08-02 (skyjade@globetrotter.net)
__________________________
Disclaimers: Nothing in the Star Wars Universe belong to me; everything belongs
to George Lucas. Also, everything related to the spoken parts of Heir to the
Empire belongs to Timothy Zhan. I'm only borrowing it to make more sense with
Mara's or Luke's missing thoughts (when we follow Luke's thoughts in the novel,
this story will cover Mara's, and vice versa ;). Naturally, everything related
to events of Heir to the Empire also belong to Timothy Zhan. Please don't sue
me, it's only for fun; I'm not making any money out of this.
See my home page for more details.
Http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Quasar/3702
Special thanks to Adrianne for her help with beta-reading ? Thank you for
giving me some of your precious time, my friend; I appreciate.
_________________________
Time: After Luke has agreed to help Mara to rescue Karrde aboard the Chimeara.
Feeling relatively uneasy, Luke stared out the viewport as his and Mara's ship
hurtled through hyperspace. His discomfort had nothing to do with his actual
companion though; instead, what was really unsettling him was what had just
happened on Jomark... against Master C'Boath.
Incredible how the old man had played with him, he thought as he squirmed
uncomfortably in his seat. Even more worrying was the fact that the other had
done so without alerting any of his danger senses... danger senses which he
could normally rely on perhaps a little more than he liked yet knew that he
could trust.
This time however, they had remained mute... Hence, if Mara had not come 'to
the rescue'...
He forced himself to not consider what could have happened next and instead
refocused on the surprising... intriguing young woman who had once again
appeared out of nowhere.
She had come to his help---- not that she would admit it of course, he smirked
slightly as he stole a quick glance in her direction. She was plotting a
course on the computer and was concentrating on the task at hand. As he
studied her serious features, the definite attraction he had been feeling for
her just before leaving Myrkr flooded his mind once again.
She really was intriguing, he thought warmly, taking in her beautiful, now
familiar sight. Right now, her red-gold hair was falling over her shoulder,
framing her hard yet delicate face and giving her an almost angelic look. He
shyly made the comparison between her actual look and how he had seen her in the
moonlight and decided that yes, whoever she had been or was now, deep down, she
was an angel. She had merely lost her wings to come down amongst them.
Suddenly catching himself, he turned away from her, fighting down the fiery
blush that was creeping up his cheeks, burning them with his feeling of
foolishness.
And now he was a farmboy again while around her... Well, he admitted with
himself, she truly was beautiful, but she was also a mystery, and a still
potentially dangerous at that. Even though he had missed her ever since they
had parted on Myrkr, he had had to remind himself that she wanted to kill him
when his thoughts for her had brought him to consider searching her out.
Fortunately for him, both Artoo 'and' the C'Boath diversion had made sure to
keep him in check and focused on what he had had to do...
Only to have her seek him out.
Life sure was full of surprises, he thought wryly while he studied the dials and
switches that were on the console in front of him; everything was in order.
Mara Jade, who had sworn and promised him that she would kill him, had just
enlisted him for a mission. No matter what she said or how she acted, he now
knew for certain that she did have a heart. It was simply buried deep down
within her... perhaps to protect itself, or perhaps because it was how she had
come to be while living with the Emperor's Court, he conceded sadly.
Whichever it was though, he reflected, it now seemed ready to come out, if shyly
and uncertainly. Her devotion to Karrde certainly was quite an excellent
indicator that there was more to her than a cold murderer. If she didn't even
care about her boss, he knew from experience that she would not even consider
putting her life in danger for him.
Kind of like Han when he had met him, he smiled inwardly, careful to not betray
his set of mind to his known-yet-unknown companion. Up to now, she had an
excellent control of herself and her deep-seated hatred of him, but he also knew
better than to risk upsetting her in any way.
Anyway, when he had met Han, he too had been a no-care smuggler, perhaps even a
killer to a certain degree although his now brother-in-law had never taken on
any contract of that kind, but he had once admitted to him that he had had his
share of faults toward living beings. Back then, he had not cared about anyone
but himself and Chewie, and the Falcon. Hence, he himself had needed money to
bait him into helping Leia. From this moment on though, Han had begun to change
his outlook on life until he had discovered that having a heart was not a
weakness but a strength.
Han had needed 'his' and Leia's help to discover his true nature; Mara for her
part already seemed to be on her way to at least care about others, if only
about people she knew, but she had cared enough to ask 'him', her arch nemesis,
to help her.
He couldn't help but feel happy for her that she was slowly breaking away from
the Emperor and his cold world of hatred and anger. Even if she would probably
never even like him as a friend, or a mere person she knew, he would be content
to know that she felt friendship, care and perhaps even love for others.
Even though he hadn't known his father 'this' much, he had learnt one thing from
him whenever he had touched his mind: living in the Dark Side and in the
Emperor's slavery had made his life a bleak, deathly-cold, living nightmare.
Hence, if he could help Mara return to the warmth of at least less destructive
feelings, then he promised himself that he would do it. He would help her free
her true nature from the remaining control of the Emperor so that she would be
able to care and love for those she considered her friends.
Even if he would never be part of these people, unless the Force pulled quite a
trick on the both of them, he knew all too well how difficult breaking free from
the Dark Side could be so he would not abandon her to this task.
However, he would not impose his help to her either; he would, like today... let
her come around although he really hadn't expected her to show up ever again in
his life, and especially with a request for him to help her.
His mind made up, he made a point to let her take the initiative as to what
would happen next.
Silence stretched even in his mind as Mara continued to chart their course
through hyperspace, studiously avoiding any conversation with him. He himself
spent time drifting in the Force and considering how he would set his warning
senses on an even more sensitive 'trigger' from now on. Whether he wanted to
think about it or not, C'Boath had really fooled him as if he were a green-
horned farmboy.
The more time passed, and the more Luke's body reminded him that it was past his
bed time. His eyelids slowly became heavier until he was aware that they were
drooping close by themselves.
Sighing inwardly in tiredness, he closed his eyes and let his mind drift. He
wasn't worried right now; he knew that he could trust his companion to not
kill him.
She had saved his life again...
And he was so tired...
He fell asleep practically immediately.
Eventually, Mara felt that she couldn't pretend being busy anymore on an already
programmed computer. Almost reluctantly, she leaned back in her seat and slowly
turned toward her passenger, ready to look away if he caught her watching him.
She thus discovered that he was fast asleep.
Who would've thought?, she thought somewhat warmly. Luke Skywalker was her
passenger, not her prisoner. She had to admit that life was full of surprises.
It was also full of twists that seemed to be out of her control, she reflected,
her mind taking a more resentful turn. After his leaving Myrkr, she had decided
that for the moment, she wouldn't chase him anymore, would leave him be until
she would be able to exact revenge on him without killing him.
Fate however seemed to have decided otherwise and to even push that decision on
her; it had 'forced' her to seek his help to rescue Karrde.
Or had it?
Had it really been a decision out of her control? Or was she still under the
man's power?, she wondered as she gazed absently at his serene features. True,
she 'could' have rescued Karrde by herself just like she had handled all her
missions as Emperor's Hand by herself.
However, she could remember a few of them where an helper would have been
welcome... and Skywalker being skilled enough to take out a whole contingent of
troops even without the Force...
She simply knew better than to underestimate Grand Admiral Thrawn, she reasoned
with herself, and Skywalker was the best partner she could hope for as far as
his abilities went.
If not for them though, she wouldn't even consider that possibility.
Or would she?, she wondered as she remembered the strange, stray thoughts she
had had about the man ever since they had taken different paths on Myrkr. She
hadn't missed him, she tried to convince herself,... not really miss him, and
yet...
She had sometimes found herself thinking that 'Skywalker would be the right
person to speak to right now'. Even more puzzling, such thoughts had always
been accompanied by flashes of their time together on Myrkr, when she had
discovered new facets of her enemy's personality...
Facets she hadn't expected to find in him because they were not in any other man
she had ever dealt with.
Aware that her eyes were drifting lower on the man's body, she brought them back
to his relaxed face, his slightly lulling head and the brown-blond hair that was
falling across his forehead to tickle his eyebrows...
'How many times will I watch him sleep?' she thought, feeling more annoyed at
her ongoing captivation with his features than his presence aboard her ship.
She had watched him sleep every night on Myrkr, had done so even before they had
actually met, and yet..., she admitted, mentally softening once again. Watching
him right now was very different from all the previous times.
For one thing, her mind wasn't filled with lies about him anymore; she had
unwillingly spent time with him, had gotten to know the true Skywalker even if
she had never had any interest to do so.
However, she could now admit that it had been an interesting experience... once
they had gotten past the first moments of dangerous animosity from her part.
She refocused her attention on the aqualine nose, the high cheekbones, the soft
eyelids which hid blue eyes that were making her feel as if she were drowning in
a sea of kindness whenever she gazed straight at them...
No, she admitted, the face of the man hadn't changed since their last meeting,
but her perception of him was changing... definitely softening now even though
she couldn't really comprehend how she had ever let this happen.
Ever since she had been aware of her action, she had been taught to never care
about others, not even her master. Everything had been cold in her world,
bleak, and focused on her duties to her master, sole person of importance in her
life.
Up to now, she had never felt the coldness of her life, had thought that it was
the best way it had to be and had never even considered opening herself to
anything else... then Skywalker had literally dropped on her lap--- and had
blasted her with so much warmth of friendship, worry and care that the ice of
her former world had melted away, allowing her to discover what was the other
side of her emotional coin.
At first, she hadn't realized all this, had not even considered it this way, but
ever since she had left Myrkr, she had spent several hours of the night
considering what had happened to her while in Skywalker's presence, and coupled
with her recurring nightmares, had come to understand that she had just been
given a choice as to how she wanted to live from now on.
Up to now, she hadn't even realized that she had made a choice, but considering
what she had just done to save her boss, she had to admit that she had chosen
the warmer path... the opposite of what her life had been up to now.
Strangely, she had to admit that it made her feel less acid toward everything
and everyone; on the other hand, the dreams seemed to increase in intensity and
frequency ever since she 'had' made that choice too.
As if trying to keep her in her old path. Now however, she knew that it was a
lie, that it was something left behind by her 'liar' of a master to achieve
revenge against Skywalker who had killed him.
But why had her master lied to her?, she wondered more seriously, turning her
seat back toward the main viewport. When Thrawn had told her about there being
other Hands, she had felt as if her world had disappeared from under her feet
once again, but this time 'because' of the one man she had always trusted
blindly.
The Emperor had lied to her. He had lied to her about who and what Skywalker
had been, had lied to her when he had told her that she was his sole Hand...
He had probably lied to her since the beginning, she finally admitted to
herself, her fists clenched in two tight balls of anger. True, she had provided
for her, had given her more than she would have ever had in life, but... Had he
really saved her from her parents?... Or had he taken her from them?
For the briefest of moments, she tried to remember past her childhood, to see
her parents and what happened before she had become aware of her being with the
Emperor, her master.
Nothing.
Resigning herself to this lack of information, she sighed, shook her head to
clear it of anger toward her master. He had probably had his reasons, she
decided even if she didn't like this justification. As for Skywalker, perhaps
he had known which effect the man would have on her and had counterattacked this
effect 'before' giving her the mission, then doing it again with the dream that
was constantly waking up her anger and hatred.
On the other hand, she conceded, gazing once again at her sleeping passenger,
rebel or not, Jedi or not, Skywalker was a good man. For the moment, his death
wouldn't serve her well and she had decided that she was more important than her
dead master who had lied to her about her position in his court.
As new waves of resent churn up her insides, her eyes remained fastened to her
passenger's sleeping features. It seemed to calm her. His face was softly lit
by the surrounding lights, and nothing was creasing his smooth skin.
Like that night when she had stunned him, he looked boyish, somewhat reminding
her of--- and she was loosing it yet again!, she stopped herself as completely
unwelcome feelings of attraction invaded her heart.
Opening some kind of companionship, not even friendship with Skywalker was one
thing, but feeling what she had felt for her long-lost farmboy was something
else altogether.
"Kreth!" she muttered, feeling annoyed by her constantly confused set of mind.
Before meeting Skywalker, she had always been filled with dark hatred, now with
bleak confusion about everything she had ever believed in.
Would she ever know peace and rest?, she asked no one as she turned back toward
the viewport and concentrated hard on clearing her mind of everything for a
while.
She needed to sleep too.
Copyright 1999, 2002 SJ (skyjade@globetrotter.net)
Webmaster : Skyjade(Any positive stuff is welcome, but any mean stuff won't even
be read.)