Feedback: Not necessary but always welcome and very much appreciated.
Disclaimer: JAG and its characters belong to Paramount and CBS. No copyright
infringement intended, I'm simply borrowing these wonderful characters for the
amusement of fellow shippers everywhere.
Author's Note: I don't remember the last time I produced a chapter so quickly. I wonder
what that means? * g*
Now this is important for those of you who reviewed to read, because it's my turn to give
appreciation for your effort and work in sharing with me your kind words and reviews.
Danielle (a.k.a. EyEzOnly)- Thank you so much for your compliments regarding my fic.,
but thank you so much more for your kind words and well wishes. I wish all the
happiness for you too!:o)
Jaimi- Jaimi, Jaimi, Jaimi! What can I say but that you are simply … beyond great! :o)
You always manage to review my work, not just the chapters to this fic but the others
I've posted too. I hope you know how tremendously uplifting your posts are to me.
Thank you and I hope my work will continue to stand up to your standards.
Lixta- LOL! I don't think I enjoyed reading anyone's review more than I did yours. It
was a blast, you sound like me when I'm posting one! Hehe I don't think this chap will
leave you floundering too much if at all, and I will endeavor to get another one out soon.
But I do hope to keep you thinking along your familiar lines!* BG *
HM4eva- thought you'd like to know, I happened to get your review in my mailbox and
that's what got me going again. So thank you for giving me that little push. Didn't mean
to leave everyone hanging for so long! * sheepish grin *
Lelaina and Ronanna- Aww golly, shucks, you gals made me blush! Thank you for your
high praise, not sure I deserve it though, but am more than willing to accept them! * VBG
* Hope I've managed to keep you enthused! :o)
Browneyeez- * BG * I hope this post was soon enough! I'm glad you enjoyed it and
you're right, goodbyes aren't always forever, despite us wanting it so at times.
cR- I'm glad you 'loved, loved it'! hehe There is absolutely no need to say anything else.
Your review was GREAT, exactly what I needed to hear! LOL Thanks chica for your
exuberant words, they hit the right spot! :o)
(K)- I'm really glad that you felt the characterization was dead on, that's always been one
of my worries-to have inaccurate characters- and to have someone finally say 'hey, this
actually sounds like Mac and oh boy does that sound like the idiocy that comes out of
Harm's mouth' is really reassuring. Thank you SO much!!! As for wanting to read more
… hoping you're not going to regret that request! LOL Enjoy!
Emma, Vivinne, and Erin – Sorry for grouping ya together but girls, I have to wrap this
up or this WILL be the longest A/N in history! Emm, thank you for loving my story and I
truly hope you enjoy this chapter; Viv, same goes for you, I have continued and hope you
don't regretting wishing so * g *; Erin, my friend, cast your doubts aside, this and all I
shall ever write will forever be shippy! Sometimes a little too much maybe! * G * But
hold tight chum, b/c the ride is not at all smooth.
Anyhoo, I must end this now, it's getting out of control!!! LOL Seriously chums, if I've
missed anyone, I apologize greatly. My sentiments apply to all of you out there who
were willing to take the time to say a few kind words that helped buoy me and inspire me
in to writing. Thank you! I truly do hope you enjoy this chapter. I'll let you go so you
can get to it then, without further adieu …
***************************************
From Chapter 3
Straightening she kissed the tips of her fingers and brushed them across the engraved
name. "My promise to protect, to watch out for his physical well being still stands. His
heart, however, is in your hands. Goodbye sir. It was an honor getting to know you."
With a salute she did an about face and walked away from the one constant in her life
since her initial trip to Russia, the one place she felt she fully belonged even after Harm's
departure to flying. In bidding a farewell to Harmon Rabb Jr. she'd had to do so to
Harmon Rabb Sr. as well.
The farther the marine got the dimmer the candle she lit became and with a distant cry of
pain unleashed by the man that once held her heart, it flickered one last time before it
became extinguished.
***************************************
Same night
"No, Mac … Sarah …" He could smell her, feel her warmth and sense her presence yet
he could not see her. Something was wrong, terribly wrong.
Feeling something brush by him, he turned around hoping to catch a glimpse of her, but it
was dark … too dark. Then suddenly there was light, a great deal of light and as he held
his hand up to shield him from the brightness he saw a familiar form.
"Dad …?" It couldn't be, Harmon Rabb Jr. hadn't dreamt about his dad since he'd
discovered Harm Sr.'s fate. There was no more need for such dreams. With Mac at his
side he'd finally been able to let the ghost of his father go. He'd finally been able to let
his memory rest.
"She's gone son. She's gone." With those whispered words the luminosity began to dim
and the figure began to fade.
"NOOOO!!!!" Even without the specifics Harm knew his father was talking about Sarah,
his Sarah.
Racing up to the man who he'd thought was there to buoy his hope instead of dash what
was left of it, he shook his shoulders and shouted. "Where is she? WHERE IS SHE
DAMN IT????!!!" Falling to his knees he grabbed the elderly man's knees and began
sobbing out, "What have you done with her? Where is she?"
Feeling his son's sorrow, for it was none other than Harmon Rabb Sr., he bent down and
held him as he did when Harm was younger.
Slowly the sobbing receded and when all that was left was the errant hiccup Harmon Sr.
spoke. "You know where she is Harm. And when you finally face that, you'll also
discover what it is YOU'VE done to her."
Having said all he could Harm Sr. got up and began to fade away whilst whispering,
"Open you heart my son and feel her pain, then you will understand."
Harm reached out and attempted to do just that and nearly fell over when he did; he felt
her pain as though it was a physical blow. As he lay there wincing, he heard her … "I
can't love him anymore … I * will * hate him … I MUST let go of him …"
And as he looked in the direction from whence the voice came, squinting he could see the
retreating form of a figure clad in marine green.
"No Sarah, no …" He pleaded, slowly coming awake.
Having sat, then dozed off, shoulders hunched, on the cold hardwood floor; Harm could
feel the pain from his body's stiffness radiating throughout him. Slowly stretching he
managed to fumble his way up in to his alcove and on to his bed.
Reaching in to the drawer of his bedside table he pulled out two items, a silken scarf kept from a
long ago adventure in Mother Russia and a framed photo of his beloved from their
godson's christening.
Clutching the photo to his heart, he held the scarf up to his face and inhaled the familiar
scent that still clung to it and let the pain he felt in his heart, her pain, assault him again.
Harm could feel it. He could somehow feel that Mac's heart, his Sarah's heart no longer
laid within his. She'd taken it back. Bits and pieces from his nightmare filtered back to
him now, and he began to cry again. Not wracking sobs, but gentle tears that seemed to
have no end in sight.
Both, God and Goddess, not knowing what to do simply sat and watched. Offering a
comfort that the poor soul was unaware of being given.
Cupid felt both mortals pain, astutely, and so decided that in aiding his mother he in turn
might bring some peace to these breaking hearts and dying souls. Giving a peck on her
cheek and a slight brush over Harmon's eyes-which brought about a certain drowsiness
that would soon lead to a dreamless sleep- Cupid orbed out, only to reappear in Mac's apartment.
He'd arrived just as Mac was entering her home and stood watching as she went about
readying for bed.
Without turning on the lights Mac walked over to her work nook, dropped her bags on
the desk and draped her coat over the chair and proceeded to step out of her shoes.
Walking barefooted towards her bedroom she began to slowly undress. Reaching her bed
she let her skirt slide down and then continued to step out of it as she reached down in to
her bottom drawer and drew out an oversized marine sweatshirt. It was her Uncle Matt's.
Letting the sweater envelope her she climbed in to bed and let the warmth of not only her
uncle's sweater but the warmth of her memories of him comfort her.
Snuggling further down in bed she closed her eyes and willed sleep to come. Instead she
felt the slight burning behind her lids, a sign of coming tears.
But none came. She would not let them come. She'd made up her mind and heart: no
more tears would be shed over Harmon Rabb Jr.! This time her declaration was meant to
last forever.
With the steadfastness of her thoughts to solidify her decision of earlier, she let the much-
needed sleep finally consume her and drifted off, believing that for now her heart was
safe. Despite it being shattered and bleeding. It was safe.
For the first time since his creation, Cupid was scared. He hadn't ever cared for a mortal
as he did for Sarah, and the idea that she would close herself off in such a way and let her
heart slowly die terrified him. For he above all else knew her determination, knew that it
was near impossible to convince Lt. Colonel Sarah Mackenzie to change her mind once
she'd decided on a chosen path. He also knew he didn't care.
Even if Zeus himself demanded he stand down, Cupid would not. By the powers that
were his birthright, he, Cupid, son of Aphrodite, was going to set things right. He was
going to bring his Sarah some genuine happiness for the first time in her life. As his
mother would say, he was going to bring together two souls that were fated to be as such
from the start.
Taking a seat beside her, he soothed, or attempted to do so, some of the pain away.
Bending down he whispered very lightly, "Soon Sarah this'll all be over. All this pain
will be a thing of the past, a forgotten moment in your time." Brushing her cheek he
muttered, "Soon Sarah you'll be with your prince."
Straightening he walked over to the sofa by her window and gazed out. There was a
small flash that went ignored by the god, but caused Sarah to stir slightly.
Opening her eyes to slits, she happened to catch the moonlight that was streaming
through her window glint off what looked like … two arrows; one marine green the other
navy blue. Shrugging her shoulders, still very much wrapped in slumber, she turned her
back to the sight and went back to sleep not having really left it to begin with.
Cupid turned to watch her rolling over and looked on with some amusement. "Yes my
Sarah, soon …"
Tbc…??? As you can see our winged one is up to something. So this should be a sign to
ya chicas that with this chapter comes an end to the extreme angst I've written so far. Be
warned though, the ride to eternal bliss is less than perfect and very much bumpy, but
then you must take in to consideration who we're dealing with. Umm … after reading
over this chapter I wasn't too pleased w/ it, but I honestly can't think of how I could
possibly change it. I've already re-hauled it some from its original draft and have no idea
what more I can do. But if the majority of you feel this really was a poor attempt I can
always rewrite it. So please, do share- good, bad, ugly? :o)
Disclaimer: JAG and its characters belong to Paramount and CBS. No copyright
infringement intended, I'm simply borrowing these wonderful characters for the
amusement of fellow shippers everywhere.
Author's Note: I don't remember the last time I produced a chapter so quickly. I wonder
what that means? * g*
Now this is important for those of you who reviewed to read, because it's my turn to give
appreciation for your effort and work in sharing with me your kind words and reviews.
Danielle (a.k.a. EyEzOnly)- Thank you so much for your compliments regarding my fic.,
but thank you so much more for your kind words and well wishes. I wish all the
happiness for you too!:o)
Jaimi- Jaimi, Jaimi, Jaimi! What can I say but that you are simply … beyond great! :o)
You always manage to review my work, not just the chapters to this fic but the others
I've posted too. I hope you know how tremendously uplifting your posts are to me.
Thank you and I hope my work will continue to stand up to your standards.
Lixta- LOL! I don't think I enjoyed reading anyone's review more than I did yours. It
was a blast, you sound like me when I'm posting one! Hehe I don't think this chap will
leave you floundering too much if at all, and I will endeavor to get another one out soon.
But I do hope to keep you thinking along your familiar lines!* BG *
HM4eva- thought you'd like to know, I happened to get your review in my mailbox and
that's what got me going again. So thank you for giving me that little push. Didn't mean
to leave everyone hanging for so long! * sheepish grin *
Lelaina and Ronanna- Aww golly, shucks, you gals made me blush! Thank you for your
high praise, not sure I deserve it though, but am more than willing to accept them! * VBG
* Hope I've managed to keep you enthused! :o)
Browneyeez- * BG * I hope this post was soon enough! I'm glad you enjoyed it and
you're right, goodbyes aren't always forever, despite us wanting it so at times.
cR- I'm glad you 'loved, loved it'! hehe There is absolutely no need to say anything else.
Your review was GREAT, exactly what I needed to hear! LOL Thanks chica for your
exuberant words, they hit the right spot! :o)
(K)- I'm really glad that you felt the characterization was dead on, that's always been one
of my worries-to have inaccurate characters- and to have someone finally say 'hey, this
actually sounds like Mac and oh boy does that sound like the idiocy that comes out of
Harm's mouth' is really reassuring. Thank you SO much!!! As for wanting to read more
… hoping you're not going to regret that request! LOL Enjoy!
Emma, Vivinne, and Erin – Sorry for grouping ya together but girls, I have to wrap this
up or this WILL be the longest A/N in history! Emm, thank you for loving my story and I
truly hope you enjoy this chapter; Viv, same goes for you, I have continued and hope you
don't regretting wishing so * g *; Erin, my friend, cast your doubts aside, this and all I
shall ever write will forever be shippy! Sometimes a little too much maybe! * G * But
hold tight chum, b/c the ride is not at all smooth.
Anyhoo, I must end this now, it's getting out of control!!! LOL Seriously chums, if I've
missed anyone, I apologize greatly. My sentiments apply to all of you out there who
were willing to take the time to say a few kind words that helped buoy me and inspire me
in to writing. Thank you! I truly do hope you enjoy this chapter. I'll let you go so you
can get to it then, without further adieu …
***************************************
From Chapter 3
Straightening she kissed the tips of her fingers and brushed them across the engraved
name. "My promise to protect, to watch out for his physical well being still stands. His
heart, however, is in your hands. Goodbye sir. It was an honor getting to know you."
With a salute she did an about face and walked away from the one constant in her life
since her initial trip to Russia, the one place she felt she fully belonged even after Harm's
departure to flying. In bidding a farewell to Harmon Rabb Jr. she'd had to do so to
Harmon Rabb Sr. as well.
The farther the marine got the dimmer the candle she lit became and with a distant cry of
pain unleashed by the man that once held her heart, it flickered one last time before it
became extinguished.
***************************************
Same night
"No, Mac … Sarah …" He could smell her, feel her warmth and sense her presence yet
he could not see her. Something was wrong, terribly wrong.
Feeling something brush by him, he turned around hoping to catch a glimpse of her, but it
was dark … too dark. Then suddenly there was light, a great deal of light and as he held
his hand up to shield him from the brightness he saw a familiar form.
"Dad …?" It couldn't be, Harmon Rabb Jr. hadn't dreamt about his dad since he'd
discovered Harm Sr.'s fate. There was no more need for such dreams. With Mac at his
side he'd finally been able to let the ghost of his father go. He'd finally been able to let
his memory rest.
"She's gone son. She's gone." With those whispered words the luminosity began to dim
and the figure began to fade.
"NOOOO!!!!" Even without the specifics Harm knew his father was talking about Sarah,
his Sarah.
Racing up to the man who he'd thought was there to buoy his hope instead of dash what
was left of it, he shook his shoulders and shouted. "Where is she? WHERE IS SHE
DAMN IT????!!!" Falling to his knees he grabbed the elderly man's knees and began
sobbing out, "What have you done with her? Where is she?"
Feeling his son's sorrow, for it was none other than Harmon Rabb Sr., he bent down and
held him as he did when Harm was younger.
Slowly the sobbing receded and when all that was left was the errant hiccup Harmon Sr.
spoke. "You know where she is Harm. And when you finally face that, you'll also
discover what it is YOU'VE done to her."
Having said all he could Harm Sr. got up and began to fade away whilst whispering,
"Open you heart my son and feel her pain, then you will understand."
Harm reached out and attempted to do just that and nearly fell over when he did; he felt
her pain as though it was a physical blow. As he lay there wincing, he heard her … "I
can't love him anymore … I * will * hate him … I MUST let go of him …"
And as he looked in the direction from whence the voice came, squinting he could see the
retreating form of a figure clad in marine green.
"No Sarah, no …" He pleaded, slowly coming awake.
Having sat, then dozed off, shoulders hunched, on the cold hardwood floor; Harm could
feel the pain from his body's stiffness radiating throughout him. Slowly stretching he
managed to fumble his way up in to his alcove and on to his bed.
Reaching in to the drawer of his bedside table he pulled out two items, a silken scarf kept from a
long ago adventure in Mother Russia and a framed photo of his beloved from their
godson's christening.
Clutching the photo to his heart, he held the scarf up to his face and inhaled the familiar
scent that still clung to it and let the pain he felt in his heart, her pain, assault him again.
Harm could feel it. He could somehow feel that Mac's heart, his Sarah's heart no longer
laid within his. She'd taken it back. Bits and pieces from his nightmare filtered back to
him now, and he began to cry again. Not wracking sobs, but gentle tears that seemed to
have no end in sight.
Both, God and Goddess, not knowing what to do simply sat and watched. Offering a
comfort that the poor soul was unaware of being given.
Cupid felt both mortals pain, astutely, and so decided that in aiding his mother he in turn
might bring some peace to these breaking hearts and dying souls. Giving a peck on her
cheek and a slight brush over Harmon's eyes-which brought about a certain drowsiness
that would soon lead to a dreamless sleep- Cupid orbed out, only to reappear in Mac's apartment.
He'd arrived just as Mac was entering her home and stood watching as she went about
readying for bed.
Without turning on the lights Mac walked over to her work nook, dropped her bags on
the desk and draped her coat over the chair and proceeded to step out of her shoes.
Walking barefooted towards her bedroom she began to slowly undress. Reaching her bed
she let her skirt slide down and then continued to step out of it as she reached down in to
her bottom drawer and drew out an oversized marine sweatshirt. It was her Uncle Matt's.
Letting the sweater envelope her she climbed in to bed and let the warmth of not only her
uncle's sweater but the warmth of her memories of him comfort her.
Snuggling further down in bed she closed her eyes and willed sleep to come. Instead she
felt the slight burning behind her lids, a sign of coming tears.
But none came. She would not let them come. She'd made up her mind and heart: no
more tears would be shed over Harmon Rabb Jr.! This time her declaration was meant to
last forever.
With the steadfastness of her thoughts to solidify her decision of earlier, she let the much-
needed sleep finally consume her and drifted off, believing that for now her heart was
safe. Despite it being shattered and bleeding. It was safe.
For the first time since his creation, Cupid was scared. He hadn't ever cared for a mortal
as he did for Sarah, and the idea that she would close herself off in such a way and let her
heart slowly die terrified him. For he above all else knew her determination, knew that it
was near impossible to convince Lt. Colonel Sarah Mackenzie to change her mind once
she'd decided on a chosen path. He also knew he didn't care.
Even if Zeus himself demanded he stand down, Cupid would not. By the powers that
were his birthright, he, Cupid, son of Aphrodite, was going to set things right. He was
going to bring his Sarah some genuine happiness for the first time in her life. As his
mother would say, he was going to bring together two souls that were fated to be as such
from the start.
Taking a seat beside her, he soothed, or attempted to do so, some of the pain away.
Bending down he whispered very lightly, "Soon Sarah this'll all be over. All this pain
will be a thing of the past, a forgotten moment in your time." Brushing her cheek he
muttered, "Soon Sarah you'll be with your prince."
Straightening he walked over to the sofa by her window and gazed out. There was a
small flash that went ignored by the god, but caused Sarah to stir slightly.
Opening her eyes to slits, she happened to catch the moonlight that was streaming
through her window glint off what looked like … two arrows; one marine green the other
navy blue. Shrugging her shoulders, still very much wrapped in slumber, she turned her
back to the sight and went back to sleep not having really left it to begin with.
Cupid turned to watch her rolling over and looked on with some amusement. "Yes my
Sarah, soon …"
Tbc…??? As you can see our winged one is up to something. So this should be a sign to
ya chicas that with this chapter comes an end to the extreme angst I've written so far. Be
warned though, the ride to eternal bliss is less than perfect and very much bumpy, but
then you must take in to consideration who we're dealing with. Umm … after reading
over this chapter I wasn't too pleased w/ it, but I honestly can't think of how I could
possibly change it. I've already re-hauled it some from its original draft and have no idea
what more I can do. But if the majority of you feel this really was a poor attempt I can
always rewrite it. So please, do share- good, bad, ugly? :o)