Me- "Here I am with Harry Potter's giant of a friend, Rubeus Hagrid. Tell me, Hagrid… how have you been dealing with the resent discoveries and horror from the Darkside?"

Rubeus Hagrid- "I see it this way: as long as Dumbledore's with us, he ain't getting' us no how. Dumbledore's too smart for that lot, yeh know?"

Me- *staring hopelessly at the camera* "So… the whole existence of life as we know it lies in the hands of the Headmaster?"

Rubeus Hargid- "Tha's exactly what I'm sayin'. He's on a short rope at the moment, but we don' need ter worry."

Me- *clears throat* "Moving on… as you and the rest of the world knows, Harry Potter number five is running a bit late. Any words on that?"

Rubeus Hagrid- "Well, there's a lot ter cover about this year, Miss. There's all this dark stuff happenin' with the rise of You-Know-Who *leans towards me* An' Harry finds out that he…"

Me- *looking hopeful* "Yes?"

Rubeus Hagrid- *looking ashamed* "Er… nothin'. Harry doesn't find out that he's a… *claps a giant hand over mouth* I said too much!"

Me- "Well, there's a small hint for the fifth book. Harry finds out that he' something new."

Rubeus Hagrid- "Somethin' new *chuckles, making the table tremble* Yeh kin call it somethin' if yeh like, but It's somthin', calling it… 'somethin'."

Me- "What are you saying? That what we find out about Harry in the fifth book is sensational?"

Rubeus Hagrid- "Sensational? I'm surprised The Daily Prophet hasn't bin yappin' about it, ever since… opps."

Me- *looking tremendously excited* "M-moving on. So, about the Quidditch issue… I assume that Harry was a bit rusty, getting back on his broom for the first time this year.

Rubeus Hagrid- *smiling very widely* "Rusty? He crashed in the' the stands the firs" time! Gave a first year a bleedin' nose. But it was all cleared up, an" everythin', once he got back teh solid ground *puts on a serious face* Not that there's anything wrong with 'em."

Me- "I see. But the reason for the question is the players and who they are. This year, Harry will be the only player left on the Gryffindor team. Any words?"

Rubeus Hagrid- "As everyone mus' know, yeh can't play without yer beaters, chasers and keeper. An' every Quidditch team needs a captain" *twists in his chair restlessly*"

Me- "So… what you mean is Madam Hooch got the replacements already? And the captain?"

Rubeus Hagrid- "Uh… *shuffles his feet* Yeh can't just get one of them new players teh do it all."

Me- *beaming with anticipation* "Really? So that practically makes Harry-"

Rubues Hagrid- *jumping to his feet, looking furious* THAS" ENOUGH! YEH WORE OUT YER WELCOME! OUT WITH YEH!"

Me- *screams with protest*

…

…

…

Me- *clutching an umbrella, her face red under her water-drenched hood* "Here I am… outside of Hagrid's hut. Obviously, I'm no longer welcome. And it has conveniently started to rain… this interview is over".

…~'*'~…

I used to like Hagrid. I think I like Robbie Coltrain better *evil cackle*. Anyways, after a while of trudging through the cold, wet, pneumonia-causing muck up the sloping lawns back to the warm, comfortable, welcoming castle, I meet up with another person to interview. I attempt to hide my horrible loathing and uncontrollable hate towards him, but it wasn't as easy as it seems in this interview. In fact… I kind of fell apart.