Chapter 16
Slowly, Quatre opened his eyes, the most beautiful sight before him. On his side and tucked into Quatre's body, lay Trowa. Eyes still closed with sleep while his long bangs lay tousled. In sleep, Trowa's defenses were down and on the occasions that Quatre was allowed to watch him uninhibited, he couldn't help but wonder what Trowa would have been like had he been given a loving home and family. Mentally he shook himself; Trowa might not have had those things as a child but Quatre was going to make sure that he had them for the rest of his life.
Thinking back on the last few months, he shuddered to think of all the things he'd put Trowa through. Mornings like these, when Trowa still slept peacefully, protected by his strong embrace, Quatre couldn't help but analyze the pain and suffering Trowa must have gone through for him. The thought brought tears to his eyes and gently, he pulled Trowa closer; holding him tighter, but not tight enough.
"Quatre?" Sleep fogged, Trowa stirred and tried to sit up.
"Trowa, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." He took the opportunity afforded him and wiped the pre-tears from his eyes; it wouldn't do to have Trowa upset so early in the morning.
"It's alright, it was a good way to wake up." Clumsily, Trowa leaned over him to drop a good morning kiss on his lips. Quatre wanted nothing more than to wrap Trowa up and never let him go, to protect him from the world and keep him safe. It was the same thing he'd wanted to do since the moment he'd met the taller boy so many years ago--nothing had changed. He'd keep Trowa safe, him and the children, and for Trowa's sake, he'd take care of himself as best he could.
"I'm glad you liked it. Maybe I'll start waking you up by latching onto you every morning." He smiled brightly before claiming another kiss.
"I'd like that." And then Trowa was over him, his body pressed intimately into his own. They were so perfect together; bodies built for each other and each other alone. Trowa's hand traveled the expanse of his chest, while his own hands traced the slim hips of the man above him. Lips met and separated, while tongues dueled in a mock battle that would result in a tie and two winners. He felt his body stir to life and allowed his hand to travel across Trowa, to the valley between hip and something so much more rewarding--instantly, Trowa's body responded. It was so right, so perfect for them to be together, to take and give pleasure from each other. He felt Trowa's responding desire through the partially open link and he sent his own raging desires though as well, forcing the link open with the rush of a thousand emotions.
Trowa's hand reached out for him, and at the precious contact, Quatre couldn't help but shudder and moan.
"Quatre?"
Springing apart, Quatre turned his head to look over the side of the bed, and sure enough, there in the corner sat Shingam and Killashandra; the girl's head resting in Shingam's lap.
"Shingam!" Behind him he felt the bed shift as Trowa sat up. As his partner took in the sight of two intently watching children, he groaned before dropping back onto the bed. Quatre couldn't have said it better himself.
Willing his body to act appropriately, he spoke. "Shingam, Killa. It's ok. How did the two of you get in?" He was fairly certain he'd locked the door last night, but he could have been wrong, they'd both been tired.
"I watched Trowa put in the passcode yesterday. Killa wanted to see if you were feeling better. Does you're arm still hurt from saving us?"
The tension drained from his body instantly and he turned to receive confirmation from Trowa before he gestured to the children to come to the bed. "Come here you two."
Slowly, Killashandra rose, with Shingam taking her hand and bringing them towards the bed. Leaning over, Quatre lifted Killashandra over his own body and handed her to Trowa's waiting arms before he leaned back down for Shingam, whom he rested between them.
"I'm fine this morning; in fact, my arm doesn't even tingle today. But thank you very much for your concern Killa, and you too Shingam." For a moment the boy seemed to beam before he took the girl's hand and offered a smile to Trowa as well.
"Good morning Shingam, did you and Killashandra sleep well?" Trowa was fully awake now, and he held Killa sideways, her head tucked in the crook of his arm.
Shingam nodded. "We slept really well. It was warm; Killa and I like being warm at night."
The image of the two huddled together suddenly flashed through his mind. "Shingam, is that why Killa sleeps so close to you at night; because it was so cold where you lived before?"
Shingam nodded. "It was cold all the time. Killa stays with me because I'll protect her from everything. She's my responsibility and we stay warm together."
Again, struck by the lives they must have led Quatre, reached down and lightly ran his fingers through Shingam's hair. At first the boy looked as if he was going to pull away but then he leaned into the touch, begging for more with the actions of his body. They were so deprived, of touch, of everything; how could another living being do this to children? He watched Trowa brush blond curls from Killashandra's face before laying a kiss on her forehead. Quatre offered him a smile when Trowa looked to him.
"Well we have a big day today. Trowa, Heero, Duo and I are taking you two to get new clothes; doesn't that sound like fun?" Shingam opened his eyes but said nothing, only watched him. "It'll be so much fun, you'll see. Duo loves to go shopping for new clothes; and I'm sure Killa will love all the new dresses and pretty things we'll get her. And Shingam, I'm sure we'll be able to get you and Killa a kite of your very own; that way the two of you and Marieminna can all play together. Does that sound good to you?" Hesitantly, Shingam nodded.
"Ok. The first thing we have to do is get up! The second thing I think, is we should all take showers. I didn't take one yesterday and I think Trowa may start sleeping on the couch pretty soon if I don't." He caught his lover's eye and offered a quick wink.
"I can take my own shower but Killa can go with Trowa."
Nodding their consent, they rose, Killa with Trowa, Shingam with Quatre. Moving to the adjoining bathroom, Quatre set Shingam down as he crossed to the shower and turned it on. Almost instantly the water heated up, and he turned to Shingam with smiling eyes. "Do you want to go first?"
For a second Shingam looked scared; and then the look passed, replaced by a grimly determined look. Stepping forward, he stripped off his clothes and moved to watch the water through the glass door. Reaching out with small hands, he touched the pane of glass before looking to Quatre and gesturing for him to open the door. Offering another smile, Quatre pulled the magnetic handle free and watched as Shingam gingerly stepped inside; he closed the door behind him.
Turning back towards Trowa, he watched as his lover held Killa in one arm, his other hand running over her locks reverently. Trowa was so gentle, so loving. It was so hard for Quatre to imagine that he'd had little to no love and affection growing up, since Trowa showered it upon all he knew. It hadn't always been that away; and Quatre wasn't modest enough not to take some credit for himself; but it was Trowa's desire to become a different man than the one he'd been, that made the changes so dramatic.
Trowa caught him staring and offered a knowing smile. Against his better judgment, he found himself wishing the two children had simply waited for them in the living room.
"Quatre?"
Turning he saw Shingam looking out at him through the glass door. Moving swiftly, he knelt down before the closed door and smiled disarmingly to ease Shingam's sudden and obvious nervousness; the boy was nearly shaking.
"Are you alright, Shingam?"
"I-I can't-" and suddenly the boy was backing up, moving away from the hole he'd rubbed in the fogged glass.
"Shingam?"
The sound of sniffles echoing throughout the bathroom had him in a panic. He turned quickly to get Trowa's opinion, but his partner seemed as equally worried as he was. Deciding to take action, Quatre warned Shingam of his intentions and then slowly opened the door.
Inside, he found Shingam sitting in the far corner of the stall, his small hands hiding his tear-reddened face. Quatre didn't know what was wrong and fear stole over him as he called the boy's name but received no answer.
Feeling a presence behind him, he turned to regard Trowa. "I don't know what's wrong."
"Perhaps, he's frightened. You might want to go in with him."
"But I don't want to scare him; and if he doesn't respond, I may startle him."
Trowa shook his head. "They seem to be.attuned to you; Shingam won't likely be startled."
Making up his mind, he shed his own clothing and cautiously stepped into the shower. Kneeling down on the water warmed floor, he gently brushed Shingam's hair from his face.
"It's ok, Shingam; whatever it is, it's going to be ok. I promise, I won't let anything hurt you. I promise."
Suddenly, gray eyes were up and boring into his soul. Those eyes seemed to be analyzing every word he'd ever said in his life, searching for lies and broken promises. He felt completely unworthy, as if he'd let them all down before he'd even had a chance to help them. Shingam, Killashandra, Trowa, he hadn't been able to protect any of them. Why did he even continue to try?
"Quatre, don't." Trowa's voice sounded from the other side of the pane, and when he looked up, it was to find Trowa watching him intently, a stern look upon his partially hidden face. Closing his eyes momentarily, he willed away the self-contempt and focused on the task at hand. Briefly he nodded to let Trowa know the moment had passed.
He was about to turn back to Shingam, when a warm but shivering body melted into his. Small arms wrapped about his neck, and he felt Shingam burrow into his shoulder. Pulling the boy completely into him, Quatre held him close, laying light kisses onto hair and skin that had received far too few. He whispered soft words of encouragement to him; words he wished his own father had whispered to him long ago.
"Shhh, it's alright now. You're safe now. Nothing's going to hurt you, you're safe. I'm here; I'm not going to let anything or anyone hurt you ever again, Shingam, ever again. Shhhh, don't cry. It's alright. Shhh, it's alright." But try as he might, the boy in his arms continued to weep, silent sobs issued forth from his tiny body, and it was all Quatre could do to keep the boy from falling apart.
Behind him, he heard the magnetic release of the door latch, and he rose, taking Shingam with him before stepping back and into Trowa's waiting arms. He turned his head to look worriedly at his lover before giving a worried smile to the girl in Trowa's arms. Killashandra remained unfazed, as if the situation meant nothing to her, and indeed, didn't even register; but her eyes weren't looking at Shingam, instead they starred intently at the downpour of water from the spick.
Trowa turned them so that he and Shingam were protected from the downpour of water but still offered some measure of heat. He continued to reassure Shingam, promising safety and happiness as best he could. But it was Killashandra that ended Shingam's suffering.
Coming out of her self induced isolation, she moved her too tiny hand to lightly brush against Shingam's hair. Immediately, the boy pulled away from him and turned to look at the small girl that seemed so much a part of him.
His voice held the last note of tears. "I'm ok, Killa. I'm not hurt." The boy's own hand reached for hers, and then they were connected, hand in hand; holding on for dear life.
Quatre wondered if his heart would ever stop breaking for these children he held so close to his body. Softly, he spoke to them. "It's alright. Both of you can really start to relax now. Trowa and I aren't going to let anyone or anything hurt either one of you ever again." One set of green crystalline eyes and one stony gray settled upon him, and he nuzzled Shingam's cheek to drive the point home. He watched Trowa do the same for Killa.
"Now Shingam, tell me what's wrong; whatever it is, Trowa and I will try to make it right." Trowa nodded to the boy, and then Shingam turned to look at him, a sad expression on his face.
"I couldn't reach it."
Confused, Quatre asked. "Couldn't reach what?"
Miserably, Shingam pointed to the container of soap that sat on a shelf two feet taller than he was.
Relieved, Quatre shook his head. "Oh Shingam, it's ok. I would have gotten it down for you if you'd only told me. You don't have to cry-"
"I failed! I couldn't do it on my own!" Anger caused him to go ridged in Quatre's arms, and he expected the boy to begin struggling any moment.
He tried to explain. "You didn't fail. You couldn't reach the soap, it's very high up. That doesn't mean you failed. You had to ask for help, that's true; but you can ask for help now. Neither Trowa nor I will ever be mad at you because you asked us for help. You and Killa mustn't ever be afraid to come to us if you need help. Just like when you and Killa called for me, you shouldn't be afraid that I won't come, or that I'll be angry or upset when I do; and the same goes for Trowa. Shingam, you didn't fail, and I bet that's exactly what Killa told you, isn't it?"
Stunned eyes focused on his, and after a quick nod from the boy, Quatre realized he'd hit the nail right on the head. Behind him, Trowa laid a reassuring hand on the small of his back.
"Killa said we should trust you. I-I'm going to try. I'm going to try and trust you, really I will, Quatre. I'll try." Pulling him back against his chest, Quatre rocked the boy slowly, careful to whisper only encouraging things into his ears. He kissed Shingam's forehead, before turning to Trowa and alleviating the tension.
"Well, I guess we better get them washed up." At Trowa's nod, he turned back to Shingam. "Want me to wash your hair? Not because you can't do it yourself but because you want me too?" Hesitantly, Shingam looked to Killashandra, before glancing at Trowa, and then finally turning back towards him and nodding his head.
Offering him a huge smile, he and Trowa worked as a team to carefully wet both children down and effectively remove the dirt they'd missed only a day before. Again, Shingam insisted on cleansing his own body, but in childlike wonder, insisted on washing Quatre's chest with the soaped up washcloth. Laughing at the ticklish sensation, the three of them, himself, Shingam and Trowa laughed and giggled, while Killa's face remained without expression, yet her eyes held a look of wonder and delight.
Trowa washed Killashandra, and even managed to tease a look of almost happiness from her eyes by insisting he wash her nose three times to get rid of some freckles he saw there-only to decide in the end that she should keep them since they made her look so cute.
When both children were washed, the lovers helped each other lather their hair, before they took turns rinsing the suds away. More than once, Quatre marveled at the easy way Trowa had taken to Killashandra; it seemed he always wore a smile for her or made some new face to bring a light into her eyes. He watched Shingam help Trowa wash the tips of his bangs, and laughed as his lover shook his head vigorously, showering them all with water droplets; even Shingam laughed childishly.
Finally, Trowa took Shingam from his arms, and with only half regret that it wasn't Trowa's hands that did the work, Quatre washed his body. He however could not refrain from the half-concealed looks of lust he sent Trowa's way, nor could he deny the struggle they both faced not to allow their bodies to betray their thoughts. Turn about was fair play however, and when Trowa treated him to the same treatment, Quatre had to bury his face in Killashandra's hair to keep from being encompassed by his early morning thoughts.
When finally all were clean, the shower turned off, and two children sufficiently dried, towels were wrapped around their waists until such time as he and Trowa got the children back to their room and dressed.
With Killashandra now sitting on the counter in front of him and Shingam to the right of Trowa, the two lovers began their own morning ritual. Reaching for his toothbrush, he began the arduous task of preventing cavities with toothpaste made half from sugar. Beside him, Trowa reached for his shaving cream, and after lathering on a generous dose, began to meticulously rake his razor over the foamy mixture.
In the mirror, Quatre watched Shingam's face register awe and amazement as Trowa continued to shave, removing the white layer from the tan skin tone underneath. Killashandra too watched Trowa with a look of what could have been amazement; and Quatre smiled at her before tickling her under her chin.
But as always, Trowa was an observant person, and with three people watching him shave, it was no wonder he didn't crack under the pressure. Turning to him, Trowa offered a wink before leaning down to Shingam and making a show of examining his face.
"Hmmmmm." Shingam stared wide-eyed at him, as slowly Trowa moved the boy's face first left and then right. Finally, he pointed a finger to Shingam's right cheek and said, "Ahhaa! Just as I thought. Quatre would you take a look at this?" For a moment Shingam looked scared before Quatre offered him a wink and leaned down so he and Trowa's cheeks were touching. "Do you see that tiny little hair, right.there! What do you think; I'm afraid it has to go?"
Playing along, Quatre nodded his head solemnly. "I have to agree, we'll have to perform drastic measures."
Trowa reached out to tickle Shingam, and as the boy giggled, he answered. "Yes. I'm afraid we'll have to do a hair-ectomy. But first we need to make an important decision." He looked to Quatre, joy and mischief sparkling in his eyes. It was a look Quatre hadn't seen in a long time, one that he hoped the children would put there more and more often.
"And what might that important decision be, Dr. Trowa?" He could barely contain his own glee as Trowa rubbed their noses together at the 'Dr' comment.
"We need to decide what shaving cream to use to get the job done properly! As you'll recall Nurse Quatre," Trowa smirked triumphantly. "We have two choices. Choice number one is your brand." He turned and whispered conspiratorially at Shingam who sat with a wide smile on his face. "Most call it chemical X. I think it's poison."
"It's not poison! You just don't like that it doesn't foam up like yours does."
"Aha, my point exactly, chemical X." He winked at Shingam who giggled. "As I was saying, then there's my brand, famous for close shaves and a scent irresistible to both men and women alike."
"I'll say. It does make you smell awfully tasty, Dr. Trowa." He leered wickedly at his lover and laughed when Trowa had to blush and duck away.
Trowa cleared his throat. "As I was saying, I believe we should choose my brand but of course it's up to the patient to decide. Shingam, which would you prefer, Quatre's or mine?"
Pointing his finger at Trowa, Quatre mouthed the words, "Pick Trowa's." Before Shingam laughed outright and pointed to Trowa.
"Good, then we're decided. Nurse Quatre, will you please hand me the can, and don't try anything funny with that cup and brush set you're still using from a millenium ago." Trowa was smiling now, his own resolve long since disintegrated under the strain of their humorous exchange.
Handing him the metal canister, he caught his lover's eye and knew Trowa understood the hungry look he found there.
Shaking his head, Trowa dispensed the foam into his hand before carefully applying it to Shingam's smooth face. Diligently, Trowa made sure to cover all the places the boy would on day have to shave before rinsing his hands off and reaching for Quatre's razor. At Quatre's questioning look he responded, "Mine isn't exactly safe for such play." And sure enough, while his own razor had blades on only one side, Trowa's was little more than what was once called a straight razor. It was often a topic of their mornings as Quatre marveled that Trowa didn't slice open his neck every time he dragged the dangerous object across it. More than once, the play had resulted in Quatre acting fearful for Trowa's life and insisting on shaving his partner. Usually they ended up back in bed. For some reason shaving was a turn on for both of them.
With cautious play-and strange sound effects-Trowa whipped the plastic part of the razor across Shingam's face, and warned the boy to quit giggling, or he might miss and shave off a little of his nose on accident. The entire process lasted five minutes, but would have only taken a couple if Trowa and himself had not fallen into fits of laughter as they tried to finish the task they'd started.
When finally, Shingam's face was "hair free" and all the excess foam was removed, Trowa gave him a lesson in checking for stay hairs. "Take your hand like this," he demonstrated by cupping his hand around his chin. "Now rub your hand up both cheeks and down under your chin. You have to feel for any left over prickly hairs." Loudly Quatre laughed, wrapping Killashandra against him as he leaned into the countertop. "If you're lucky, someday you'll have someone you really care about to help you with this part, watch." Trowa turned to Quatre then and presented his face for inspection. Playing along, Quatre examined Trowa's face for a moment, turning it left and right, as Trowa had done to Shingam's minutes earlier.
Satisfied he proclaimed, "Very smooth, Trowa. Good work. Shingam why don't you come over here and Killa can take a look and check you over." Standing eagerly, the boy moved across the counter to Killashandra, who looked dumbly up at him for a moment before extending her hand to caress his face.
Finally, Shingam pulled back and said, "Killa say's it's good. I'm smooth like Trowa."
They roared with laughter, as Quatre held onto Trowa for support while his taller lover braced himself against the counter. Shingam's face and the tenseness of the early situation were too much for them. Quatre laughed for Shingam's innocence and for Trowa's strange and sudden sense of joyful childishness. There was no way to describe the love he felt for Trowa in those few minutes. It was like watching his lover become all that's he'd ever envisioned him to be. In the back of his mind, where even he didn't dare to hope, he saw the man Trowa would be to their own children, and he nearly wept with happiness.
"You are smooth, Shingam. And you know what Killa? Someday we'll have Trowa show you how to do the same thing. But instead of your face, Trowa will show you how to shave your legs."
"I will not! Besides, that's more your department, isn't it beloved?"
Comically stunned, Quatre stared shocked at his lover. "And what exactly do you mean by that?"
Trowa shrugged. "Well, you're the one that insists on absolutely no chest hair."
"I don't insist! It just hasn't-you know.well.I'm only twenty! I can't help it if I'm a late developer!"
Trowa laughed heartily then, pulling him close and wrapping an arm around his waist before dropping a hard and impassioned kiss on his mouth. Quatre barely had time to get into it before Trowa pulled away with a wink. "Late developer my ass."
Bending over to give Trowa's a look, Quatre smiled wickedly. "And what a lovely ass it is. I wonder what can be done with such a fine specimen of a man such as yourself?"
Trowa groaned, the white towel Quatre was pressed against betraying his partner's immediate condition. "You're killing me this morning, lover."
Quatre kept the evil look upon his face as he "accidentally" brushed against the slight raise in the towel. "Just taking a little revenge for having to wake up all by myself yesterday. But we won't get into it right now." Stepping away from Trowa's siren like body, Quatre set both Shingam and Killashandra on their feet.
"Ok you two, let's get you into some clothes and then we'll go to the city and get you both some new clothes and a few other odds and ends. Come on." He propelled the two children from the bathroom and into the bedroom before changing his mind and ushering them out the door. "Shingam, you and Killashandra get dressed and then sit on the couch and wait for Trowa and I, understand? We'll be right out, and no keying in the passcode." At the boy's nod, Quatre shut the door and quickly punched in the lock pass.
Coming out of the bathroom, Trowa didn't have time to react as Quatre roughly pushed him again the wall and slammed their bodies together; crushing Trowa's mouth to his. It was savage and rushed, but Quatre was determined to claim as much of Trowa as he could before the morning was through.
Skilled hands yanked the towel from Quatre's hips, and he did the same for Trowa, before they were pressed intimately together, both having a hard time breathing.
Trowa was the first to pull away. "Quatre, there is a four year old and a five year old sitting on our couch in the living room. Beloved, as much as I want to continue, we can't."
Growling, Quatre pulled Trowa forward. "Too much talking." And then again claimed his full lips. Hands returned to where they'd previously been startled from and Quatre gasped at the pure delight of Trowa's hand on him, surrounding him. Shifting, he moved to Trowa's neck and nibbled his way down his lover's chest and stomach before coming to his knees in silent worship of Trowa's glorious body.
"Quatre, we can't."
"Yes we can."
"Quatre, if you start this, I'm not letting you go until it's finished, and you promised them you'd be out in just a moment. Don't make me force you to be late." Trowa was trying to be rational, but all Quatre wanted was to settle some wayward thought in his mind to reclaim Trowa as his own; mind, body, and soul. He was willing to begin with body anyway.
Sudden images of two children sitting patiently, coupled with Trowa's mixed messages of continue and stop coming from the link, and Quatre finally made one of the hardest decisions in his entire life. He stopped.
Sighing, he rose to his feet and again brutally captured Trowa's mouth with his own. The kiss spoke of promise and unabandoned lust. Quatre wasn't finished, they weren't finished; not by a long shot. Reaching his hand behind Trowa, Quatre tapped him on the ass before quickly turning and throwing a coy look over his shoulder. "We'll resume where we left off later." And as an after thought, "You look beautiful today, Trowa. I can't wait to show you off." And with that, he disappeared into their walk in closet.
Quatre didn't see it, but he heard Trowa's shuddering breath, and smiled with pride.
Slowly, Quatre opened his eyes, the most beautiful sight before him. On his side and tucked into Quatre's body, lay Trowa. Eyes still closed with sleep while his long bangs lay tousled. In sleep, Trowa's defenses were down and on the occasions that Quatre was allowed to watch him uninhibited, he couldn't help but wonder what Trowa would have been like had he been given a loving home and family. Mentally he shook himself; Trowa might not have had those things as a child but Quatre was going to make sure that he had them for the rest of his life.
Thinking back on the last few months, he shuddered to think of all the things he'd put Trowa through. Mornings like these, when Trowa still slept peacefully, protected by his strong embrace, Quatre couldn't help but analyze the pain and suffering Trowa must have gone through for him. The thought brought tears to his eyes and gently, he pulled Trowa closer; holding him tighter, but not tight enough.
"Quatre?" Sleep fogged, Trowa stirred and tried to sit up.
"Trowa, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." He took the opportunity afforded him and wiped the pre-tears from his eyes; it wouldn't do to have Trowa upset so early in the morning.
"It's alright, it was a good way to wake up." Clumsily, Trowa leaned over him to drop a good morning kiss on his lips. Quatre wanted nothing more than to wrap Trowa up and never let him go, to protect him from the world and keep him safe. It was the same thing he'd wanted to do since the moment he'd met the taller boy so many years ago--nothing had changed. He'd keep Trowa safe, him and the children, and for Trowa's sake, he'd take care of himself as best he could.
"I'm glad you liked it. Maybe I'll start waking you up by latching onto you every morning." He smiled brightly before claiming another kiss.
"I'd like that." And then Trowa was over him, his body pressed intimately into his own. They were so perfect together; bodies built for each other and each other alone. Trowa's hand traveled the expanse of his chest, while his own hands traced the slim hips of the man above him. Lips met and separated, while tongues dueled in a mock battle that would result in a tie and two winners. He felt his body stir to life and allowed his hand to travel across Trowa, to the valley between hip and something so much more rewarding--instantly, Trowa's body responded. It was so right, so perfect for them to be together, to take and give pleasure from each other. He felt Trowa's responding desire through the partially open link and he sent his own raging desires though as well, forcing the link open with the rush of a thousand emotions.
Trowa's hand reached out for him, and at the precious contact, Quatre couldn't help but shudder and moan.
"Quatre?"
Springing apart, Quatre turned his head to look over the side of the bed, and sure enough, there in the corner sat Shingam and Killashandra; the girl's head resting in Shingam's lap.
"Shingam!" Behind him he felt the bed shift as Trowa sat up. As his partner took in the sight of two intently watching children, he groaned before dropping back onto the bed. Quatre couldn't have said it better himself.
Willing his body to act appropriately, he spoke. "Shingam, Killa. It's ok. How did the two of you get in?" He was fairly certain he'd locked the door last night, but he could have been wrong, they'd both been tired.
"I watched Trowa put in the passcode yesterday. Killa wanted to see if you were feeling better. Does you're arm still hurt from saving us?"
The tension drained from his body instantly and he turned to receive confirmation from Trowa before he gestured to the children to come to the bed. "Come here you two."
Slowly, Killashandra rose, with Shingam taking her hand and bringing them towards the bed. Leaning over, Quatre lifted Killashandra over his own body and handed her to Trowa's waiting arms before he leaned back down for Shingam, whom he rested between them.
"I'm fine this morning; in fact, my arm doesn't even tingle today. But thank you very much for your concern Killa, and you too Shingam." For a moment the boy seemed to beam before he took the girl's hand and offered a smile to Trowa as well.
"Good morning Shingam, did you and Killashandra sleep well?" Trowa was fully awake now, and he held Killa sideways, her head tucked in the crook of his arm.
Shingam nodded. "We slept really well. It was warm; Killa and I like being warm at night."
The image of the two huddled together suddenly flashed through his mind. "Shingam, is that why Killa sleeps so close to you at night; because it was so cold where you lived before?"
Shingam nodded. "It was cold all the time. Killa stays with me because I'll protect her from everything. She's my responsibility and we stay warm together."
Again, struck by the lives they must have led Quatre, reached down and lightly ran his fingers through Shingam's hair. At first the boy looked as if he was going to pull away but then he leaned into the touch, begging for more with the actions of his body. They were so deprived, of touch, of everything; how could another living being do this to children? He watched Trowa brush blond curls from Killashandra's face before laying a kiss on her forehead. Quatre offered him a smile when Trowa looked to him.
"Well we have a big day today. Trowa, Heero, Duo and I are taking you two to get new clothes; doesn't that sound like fun?" Shingam opened his eyes but said nothing, only watched him. "It'll be so much fun, you'll see. Duo loves to go shopping for new clothes; and I'm sure Killa will love all the new dresses and pretty things we'll get her. And Shingam, I'm sure we'll be able to get you and Killa a kite of your very own; that way the two of you and Marieminna can all play together. Does that sound good to you?" Hesitantly, Shingam nodded.
"Ok. The first thing we have to do is get up! The second thing I think, is we should all take showers. I didn't take one yesterday and I think Trowa may start sleeping on the couch pretty soon if I don't." He caught his lover's eye and offered a quick wink.
"I can take my own shower but Killa can go with Trowa."
Nodding their consent, they rose, Killa with Trowa, Shingam with Quatre. Moving to the adjoining bathroom, Quatre set Shingam down as he crossed to the shower and turned it on. Almost instantly the water heated up, and he turned to Shingam with smiling eyes. "Do you want to go first?"
For a second Shingam looked scared; and then the look passed, replaced by a grimly determined look. Stepping forward, he stripped off his clothes and moved to watch the water through the glass door. Reaching out with small hands, he touched the pane of glass before looking to Quatre and gesturing for him to open the door. Offering another smile, Quatre pulled the magnetic handle free and watched as Shingam gingerly stepped inside; he closed the door behind him.
Turning back towards Trowa, he watched as his lover held Killa in one arm, his other hand running over her locks reverently. Trowa was so gentle, so loving. It was so hard for Quatre to imagine that he'd had little to no love and affection growing up, since Trowa showered it upon all he knew. It hadn't always been that away; and Quatre wasn't modest enough not to take some credit for himself; but it was Trowa's desire to become a different man than the one he'd been, that made the changes so dramatic.
Trowa caught him staring and offered a knowing smile. Against his better judgment, he found himself wishing the two children had simply waited for them in the living room.
"Quatre?"
Turning he saw Shingam looking out at him through the glass door. Moving swiftly, he knelt down before the closed door and smiled disarmingly to ease Shingam's sudden and obvious nervousness; the boy was nearly shaking.
"Are you alright, Shingam?"
"I-I can't-" and suddenly the boy was backing up, moving away from the hole he'd rubbed in the fogged glass.
"Shingam?"
The sound of sniffles echoing throughout the bathroom had him in a panic. He turned quickly to get Trowa's opinion, but his partner seemed as equally worried as he was. Deciding to take action, Quatre warned Shingam of his intentions and then slowly opened the door.
Inside, he found Shingam sitting in the far corner of the stall, his small hands hiding his tear-reddened face. Quatre didn't know what was wrong and fear stole over him as he called the boy's name but received no answer.
Feeling a presence behind him, he turned to regard Trowa. "I don't know what's wrong."
"Perhaps, he's frightened. You might want to go in with him."
"But I don't want to scare him; and if he doesn't respond, I may startle him."
Trowa shook his head. "They seem to be.attuned to you; Shingam won't likely be startled."
Making up his mind, he shed his own clothing and cautiously stepped into the shower. Kneeling down on the water warmed floor, he gently brushed Shingam's hair from his face.
"It's ok, Shingam; whatever it is, it's going to be ok. I promise, I won't let anything hurt you. I promise."
Suddenly, gray eyes were up and boring into his soul. Those eyes seemed to be analyzing every word he'd ever said in his life, searching for lies and broken promises. He felt completely unworthy, as if he'd let them all down before he'd even had a chance to help them. Shingam, Killashandra, Trowa, he hadn't been able to protect any of them. Why did he even continue to try?
"Quatre, don't." Trowa's voice sounded from the other side of the pane, and when he looked up, it was to find Trowa watching him intently, a stern look upon his partially hidden face. Closing his eyes momentarily, he willed away the self-contempt and focused on the task at hand. Briefly he nodded to let Trowa know the moment had passed.
He was about to turn back to Shingam, when a warm but shivering body melted into his. Small arms wrapped about his neck, and he felt Shingam burrow into his shoulder. Pulling the boy completely into him, Quatre held him close, laying light kisses onto hair and skin that had received far too few. He whispered soft words of encouragement to him; words he wished his own father had whispered to him long ago.
"Shhh, it's alright now. You're safe now. Nothing's going to hurt you, you're safe. I'm here; I'm not going to let anything or anyone hurt you ever again, Shingam, ever again. Shhhh, don't cry. It's alright. Shhh, it's alright." But try as he might, the boy in his arms continued to weep, silent sobs issued forth from his tiny body, and it was all Quatre could do to keep the boy from falling apart.
Behind him, he heard the magnetic release of the door latch, and he rose, taking Shingam with him before stepping back and into Trowa's waiting arms. He turned his head to look worriedly at his lover before giving a worried smile to the girl in Trowa's arms. Killashandra remained unfazed, as if the situation meant nothing to her, and indeed, didn't even register; but her eyes weren't looking at Shingam, instead they starred intently at the downpour of water from the spick.
Trowa turned them so that he and Shingam were protected from the downpour of water but still offered some measure of heat. He continued to reassure Shingam, promising safety and happiness as best he could. But it was Killashandra that ended Shingam's suffering.
Coming out of her self induced isolation, she moved her too tiny hand to lightly brush against Shingam's hair. Immediately, the boy pulled away from him and turned to look at the small girl that seemed so much a part of him.
His voice held the last note of tears. "I'm ok, Killa. I'm not hurt." The boy's own hand reached for hers, and then they were connected, hand in hand; holding on for dear life.
Quatre wondered if his heart would ever stop breaking for these children he held so close to his body. Softly, he spoke to them. "It's alright. Both of you can really start to relax now. Trowa and I aren't going to let anyone or anything hurt either one of you ever again." One set of green crystalline eyes and one stony gray settled upon him, and he nuzzled Shingam's cheek to drive the point home. He watched Trowa do the same for Killa.
"Now Shingam, tell me what's wrong; whatever it is, Trowa and I will try to make it right." Trowa nodded to the boy, and then Shingam turned to look at him, a sad expression on his face.
"I couldn't reach it."
Confused, Quatre asked. "Couldn't reach what?"
Miserably, Shingam pointed to the container of soap that sat on a shelf two feet taller than he was.
Relieved, Quatre shook his head. "Oh Shingam, it's ok. I would have gotten it down for you if you'd only told me. You don't have to cry-"
"I failed! I couldn't do it on my own!" Anger caused him to go ridged in Quatre's arms, and he expected the boy to begin struggling any moment.
He tried to explain. "You didn't fail. You couldn't reach the soap, it's very high up. That doesn't mean you failed. You had to ask for help, that's true; but you can ask for help now. Neither Trowa nor I will ever be mad at you because you asked us for help. You and Killa mustn't ever be afraid to come to us if you need help. Just like when you and Killa called for me, you shouldn't be afraid that I won't come, or that I'll be angry or upset when I do; and the same goes for Trowa. Shingam, you didn't fail, and I bet that's exactly what Killa told you, isn't it?"
Stunned eyes focused on his, and after a quick nod from the boy, Quatre realized he'd hit the nail right on the head. Behind him, Trowa laid a reassuring hand on the small of his back.
"Killa said we should trust you. I-I'm going to try. I'm going to try and trust you, really I will, Quatre. I'll try." Pulling him back against his chest, Quatre rocked the boy slowly, careful to whisper only encouraging things into his ears. He kissed Shingam's forehead, before turning to Trowa and alleviating the tension.
"Well, I guess we better get them washed up." At Trowa's nod, he turned back to Shingam. "Want me to wash your hair? Not because you can't do it yourself but because you want me too?" Hesitantly, Shingam looked to Killashandra, before glancing at Trowa, and then finally turning back towards him and nodding his head.
Offering him a huge smile, he and Trowa worked as a team to carefully wet both children down and effectively remove the dirt they'd missed only a day before. Again, Shingam insisted on cleansing his own body, but in childlike wonder, insisted on washing Quatre's chest with the soaped up washcloth. Laughing at the ticklish sensation, the three of them, himself, Shingam and Trowa laughed and giggled, while Killa's face remained without expression, yet her eyes held a look of wonder and delight.
Trowa washed Killashandra, and even managed to tease a look of almost happiness from her eyes by insisting he wash her nose three times to get rid of some freckles he saw there-only to decide in the end that she should keep them since they made her look so cute.
When both children were washed, the lovers helped each other lather their hair, before they took turns rinsing the suds away. More than once, Quatre marveled at the easy way Trowa had taken to Killashandra; it seemed he always wore a smile for her or made some new face to bring a light into her eyes. He watched Shingam help Trowa wash the tips of his bangs, and laughed as his lover shook his head vigorously, showering them all with water droplets; even Shingam laughed childishly.
Finally, Trowa took Shingam from his arms, and with only half regret that it wasn't Trowa's hands that did the work, Quatre washed his body. He however could not refrain from the half-concealed looks of lust he sent Trowa's way, nor could he deny the struggle they both faced not to allow their bodies to betray their thoughts. Turn about was fair play however, and when Trowa treated him to the same treatment, Quatre had to bury his face in Killashandra's hair to keep from being encompassed by his early morning thoughts.
When finally all were clean, the shower turned off, and two children sufficiently dried, towels were wrapped around their waists until such time as he and Trowa got the children back to their room and dressed.
With Killashandra now sitting on the counter in front of him and Shingam to the right of Trowa, the two lovers began their own morning ritual. Reaching for his toothbrush, he began the arduous task of preventing cavities with toothpaste made half from sugar. Beside him, Trowa reached for his shaving cream, and after lathering on a generous dose, began to meticulously rake his razor over the foamy mixture.
In the mirror, Quatre watched Shingam's face register awe and amazement as Trowa continued to shave, removing the white layer from the tan skin tone underneath. Killashandra too watched Trowa with a look of what could have been amazement; and Quatre smiled at her before tickling her under her chin.
But as always, Trowa was an observant person, and with three people watching him shave, it was no wonder he didn't crack under the pressure. Turning to him, Trowa offered a wink before leaning down to Shingam and making a show of examining his face.
"Hmmmmm." Shingam stared wide-eyed at him, as slowly Trowa moved the boy's face first left and then right. Finally, he pointed a finger to Shingam's right cheek and said, "Ahhaa! Just as I thought. Quatre would you take a look at this?" For a moment Shingam looked scared before Quatre offered him a wink and leaned down so he and Trowa's cheeks were touching. "Do you see that tiny little hair, right.there! What do you think; I'm afraid it has to go?"
Playing along, Quatre nodded his head solemnly. "I have to agree, we'll have to perform drastic measures."
Trowa reached out to tickle Shingam, and as the boy giggled, he answered. "Yes. I'm afraid we'll have to do a hair-ectomy. But first we need to make an important decision." He looked to Quatre, joy and mischief sparkling in his eyes. It was a look Quatre hadn't seen in a long time, one that he hoped the children would put there more and more often.
"And what might that important decision be, Dr. Trowa?" He could barely contain his own glee as Trowa rubbed their noses together at the 'Dr' comment.
"We need to decide what shaving cream to use to get the job done properly! As you'll recall Nurse Quatre," Trowa smirked triumphantly. "We have two choices. Choice number one is your brand." He turned and whispered conspiratorially at Shingam who sat with a wide smile on his face. "Most call it chemical X. I think it's poison."
"It's not poison! You just don't like that it doesn't foam up like yours does."
"Aha, my point exactly, chemical X." He winked at Shingam who giggled. "As I was saying, then there's my brand, famous for close shaves and a scent irresistible to both men and women alike."
"I'll say. It does make you smell awfully tasty, Dr. Trowa." He leered wickedly at his lover and laughed when Trowa had to blush and duck away.
Trowa cleared his throat. "As I was saying, I believe we should choose my brand but of course it's up to the patient to decide. Shingam, which would you prefer, Quatre's or mine?"
Pointing his finger at Trowa, Quatre mouthed the words, "Pick Trowa's." Before Shingam laughed outright and pointed to Trowa.
"Good, then we're decided. Nurse Quatre, will you please hand me the can, and don't try anything funny with that cup and brush set you're still using from a millenium ago." Trowa was smiling now, his own resolve long since disintegrated under the strain of their humorous exchange.
Handing him the metal canister, he caught his lover's eye and knew Trowa understood the hungry look he found there.
Shaking his head, Trowa dispensed the foam into his hand before carefully applying it to Shingam's smooth face. Diligently, Trowa made sure to cover all the places the boy would on day have to shave before rinsing his hands off and reaching for Quatre's razor. At Quatre's questioning look he responded, "Mine isn't exactly safe for such play." And sure enough, while his own razor had blades on only one side, Trowa's was little more than what was once called a straight razor. It was often a topic of their mornings as Quatre marveled that Trowa didn't slice open his neck every time he dragged the dangerous object across it. More than once, the play had resulted in Quatre acting fearful for Trowa's life and insisting on shaving his partner. Usually they ended up back in bed. For some reason shaving was a turn on for both of them.
With cautious play-and strange sound effects-Trowa whipped the plastic part of the razor across Shingam's face, and warned the boy to quit giggling, or he might miss and shave off a little of his nose on accident. The entire process lasted five minutes, but would have only taken a couple if Trowa and himself had not fallen into fits of laughter as they tried to finish the task they'd started.
When finally, Shingam's face was "hair free" and all the excess foam was removed, Trowa gave him a lesson in checking for stay hairs. "Take your hand like this," he demonstrated by cupping his hand around his chin. "Now rub your hand up both cheeks and down under your chin. You have to feel for any left over prickly hairs." Loudly Quatre laughed, wrapping Killashandra against him as he leaned into the countertop. "If you're lucky, someday you'll have someone you really care about to help you with this part, watch." Trowa turned to Quatre then and presented his face for inspection. Playing along, Quatre examined Trowa's face for a moment, turning it left and right, as Trowa had done to Shingam's minutes earlier.
Satisfied he proclaimed, "Very smooth, Trowa. Good work. Shingam why don't you come over here and Killa can take a look and check you over." Standing eagerly, the boy moved across the counter to Killashandra, who looked dumbly up at him for a moment before extending her hand to caress his face.
Finally, Shingam pulled back and said, "Killa say's it's good. I'm smooth like Trowa."
They roared with laughter, as Quatre held onto Trowa for support while his taller lover braced himself against the counter. Shingam's face and the tenseness of the early situation were too much for them. Quatre laughed for Shingam's innocence and for Trowa's strange and sudden sense of joyful childishness. There was no way to describe the love he felt for Trowa in those few minutes. It was like watching his lover become all that's he'd ever envisioned him to be. In the back of his mind, where even he didn't dare to hope, he saw the man Trowa would be to their own children, and he nearly wept with happiness.
"You are smooth, Shingam. And you know what Killa? Someday we'll have Trowa show you how to do the same thing. But instead of your face, Trowa will show you how to shave your legs."
"I will not! Besides, that's more your department, isn't it beloved?"
Comically stunned, Quatre stared shocked at his lover. "And what exactly do you mean by that?"
Trowa shrugged. "Well, you're the one that insists on absolutely no chest hair."
"I don't insist! It just hasn't-you know.well.I'm only twenty! I can't help it if I'm a late developer!"
Trowa laughed heartily then, pulling him close and wrapping an arm around his waist before dropping a hard and impassioned kiss on his mouth. Quatre barely had time to get into it before Trowa pulled away with a wink. "Late developer my ass."
Bending over to give Trowa's a look, Quatre smiled wickedly. "And what a lovely ass it is. I wonder what can be done with such a fine specimen of a man such as yourself?"
Trowa groaned, the white towel Quatre was pressed against betraying his partner's immediate condition. "You're killing me this morning, lover."
Quatre kept the evil look upon his face as he "accidentally" brushed against the slight raise in the towel. "Just taking a little revenge for having to wake up all by myself yesterday. But we won't get into it right now." Stepping away from Trowa's siren like body, Quatre set both Shingam and Killashandra on their feet.
"Ok you two, let's get you into some clothes and then we'll go to the city and get you both some new clothes and a few other odds and ends. Come on." He propelled the two children from the bathroom and into the bedroom before changing his mind and ushering them out the door. "Shingam, you and Killashandra get dressed and then sit on the couch and wait for Trowa and I, understand? We'll be right out, and no keying in the passcode." At the boy's nod, Quatre shut the door and quickly punched in the lock pass.
Coming out of the bathroom, Trowa didn't have time to react as Quatre roughly pushed him again the wall and slammed their bodies together; crushing Trowa's mouth to his. It was savage and rushed, but Quatre was determined to claim as much of Trowa as he could before the morning was through.
Skilled hands yanked the towel from Quatre's hips, and he did the same for Trowa, before they were pressed intimately together, both having a hard time breathing.
Trowa was the first to pull away. "Quatre, there is a four year old and a five year old sitting on our couch in the living room. Beloved, as much as I want to continue, we can't."
Growling, Quatre pulled Trowa forward. "Too much talking." And then again claimed his full lips. Hands returned to where they'd previously been startled from and Quatre gasped at the pure delight of Trowa's hand on him, surrounding him. Shifting, he moved to Trowa's neck and nibbled his way down his lover's chest and stomach before coming to his knees in silent worship of Trowa's glorious body.
"Quatre, we can't."
"Yes we can."
"Quatre, if you start this, I'm not letting you go until it's finished, and you promised them you'd be out in just a moment. Don't make me force you to be late." Trowa was trying to be rational, but all Quatre wanted was to settle some wayward thought in his mind to reclaim Trowa as his own; mind, body, and soul. He was willing to begin with body anyway.
Sudden images of two children sitting patiently, coupled with Trowa's mixed messages of continue and stop coming from the link, and Quatre finally made one of the hardest decisions in his entire life. He stopped.
Sighing, he rose to his feet and again brutally captured Trowa's mouth with his own. The kiss spoke of promise and unabandoned lust. Quatre wasn't finished, they weren't finished; not by a long shot. Reaching his hand behind Trowa, Quatre tapped him on the ass before quickly turning and throwing a coy look over his shoulder. "We'll resume where we left off later." And as an after thought, "You look beautiful today, Trowa. I can't wait to show you off." And with that, he disappeared into their walk in closet.
Quatre didn't see it, but he heard Trowa's shuddering breath, and smiled with pride.