Gotterdamerung
(Twilight of the Gods)
Part 4
[Ken]
A small pounding in my head distracts me from concentrating on anything anyone is saying as I try to deal with it. Nothing I can't handle, really, just something that makes me spacier than normal. Its been coming in regular intervals now, just like Dr. Kanzaki warned me two months ago.
The headache is preventing me from examining why Ran and Youji were glaring at each other in the shop a few minutes back. Hell, probably about Youji's ladies again. Or something equally ridiculous. They certainly can't be arguing about who was going with me to the doctor…can they?
I give Youji the directions to the good doctor's clinic and recline back on the car's seat. Youji's driving today and Omi loved the front seat so that left Ran and I to sit in the back. At first this makes me uncomfortable, the nightmare brought back so many bad memories and sitting beside Ran isn't helping me so I endeavor to remain as far from him as possible without appearing rude.
But as if of their own volition, my eyes slide a sideways glance to Ran. Always, always, my eyes search him out. I cannot help it at all. Like sunflowers turning their faces to the golden sun, my eyes search out his beautiful face, captivated.
He's staring out the window, glaring at everything that the car passed with a feral intensity.
He's been glaring like that non-stop since we left Koneko. He worries me sometimes. What's wrong with him I wonder?
You don't have the right to ask, Kenken.
I didn't say I'd ask.
Aa. But you thought about it, Kenken.
Don't call me Kenken. You sound like Youji.
I can feel my face frowning. Damn, now even my inner voice calls me Kenken. Its all Youji's fault. The baka.
The object of my ire turns his head sideways from his seat up front to look at me. "We're here."
We get out of the car and I walk towards the little red brick house that serves as a clinic for the doctor. I open the door but Youji stops me by laying a hand on my shoulder.
"Matte! This doesn't say Dr. Kanzaki, Kenken." He was pointing at the plaque hanging beside the door which read Dr. V. H. Geist, M.D.
"Well, duh, Youji! When your life is in danger, are you going to advertise your original name for all to see?"
A grin spreads on my face at the disgruntled look on Youji's face.
"Wai, you disappoint me, Youji-kun. I can't believe you said that."
Omi shakes his head at Youji and my grin turns into a full smile at Youji's blush. I'm enjoying this moment. After all, it isn't everyday that I get back at Youji for all the Kenkens he calls me.
"Hn. Let's get going."
We all walk forward instantly, used to following Ran's command. The death glare he sports is nothing to discount either.
"Hello there, Rika." I greet the sweet receptionist on her desk. "I'm here to see the doctor."
"Why, hello, Ken-san. Go on in, he's not seeing anyone right now."
"Hai. Domo!"
I turn to the guys.
"Oi, guys, wait here for a moment. The doctor is sort of nervous about meeting strangers, let alone 3. I'll just ease into it and call you, alright?"
Actually, the doctor already knew about Weiss but I still had to talk to him about other important things…like telling him that I didn't tell the guys about my condition and if he could please not tell them anything about that either.
I know that the doctor was going to have a fit over this. I sigh. Ah well, better to face the music now. I reach for the knob.
"Uh, Ken-kun?"
I turn to face my best friend with a smile. "Yes, Omi?"
[Omi]
As Ken-kun turned to go into the doctor's office, I just couldn't help myself. I call him.
"Uh, Ken-kun?"
"Yes, Omi?"
Ken-kun's smile as he turns to look at me is heartening and I hope that he'll agree to what I want.
"I don't suppose I can go with you?" I school my features into a pleading look. I don't want to be left with Youji and Ran, not after the scene in Koneko. And especially not when the only space left on the couch is the middle. No siree, I don't want to be in the middle of another glaring match.
The hopes die as I see Ken-kun shake his head. "Sorry, Omi. But that isn't possible. I have to talk to him alone first."
"But don't worry, I'm going to do this as fast as I can, ne?" After which, Ken-kun went inside.
"Omi, sit down."
I sigh and do as Ran-kun commanded, sitting between the two older boys who ignored each other and me. The heavy silence in the room settles on everyone.
Please, Ken-kun, talk fast.
[Ken]
"You VHAT?"
There's the German accent again. I flinch away from the shouting red-faced Dr. Kanzaki. I didn't expect him to shout. He'd been in such a good mood when I had greeted him moments ago…
I had entered the office and told him that the rest of Weiss were in the reception area and that they wanted to talk to him. That hadn't fazed him at all, in fact, he had smiled at me. That led me to believe that he'd be amenable to my suggestion.
Shows you just how much you should trust your instincts, Ken. I sigh.
I grin weakly at the doctor and move my hands in a placating gesture. The pounding in my head is intensifying.
"Simmer down, doc. Its not like I asked you to do something really bad."
"You vant me to lie to your teammates so you can go gallivanting off to missions? You do not seem to realize ze extent of your condition, Ken."
I didn't realize how scary the doc's face can be when he's scowling like he is now. I can't really blame him, after all, I did promise. But still, I had, and still have, a good reason not to go through with it and I am willing to defend it.
"Look, doc. If I tell them they'll only worry about me and they'll probably treat me like fragile glass or some such."
"Precizely vhy I vanted you to tell zem. Vat is the point in helping to make a cure for ze virus if you go and get yourself killed. Vithout Astyanax, many of ze children will die. Did you ever stop to think about zat?"
The accusatory tone in the doctor's voice, combined with the headache, proves to be too much. I know what he means and I know it is important for me not to jeopardize myself in missions. But he isn't being entirely fair. The missions are directly linked to the crime ring that is targeting children and that sets my blood to boil. I can't just stand by and let those innocent kids be dragged into this deadly game the crime ring was playing.
And then there's Omi, Youji and…Ran. How can I just watch as they plunge into missions, putting themselves into danger while I sit back just because I'm Astyanax.
It isn't fair. Astyanax or not, I still have the right to decide what I want to do.
"Of course I did! But unlike some people I would rather try and help prevent something from happening rather than see my teammates get killed!"
The words slip out before I realize what I said. I stare in horror at Dr. Kanzaki who is now silent, pain flitting in his eyes. I shouldn't have said that. It was unfair of me but the words were said and I can't take it back.
I lower my eyes and whisper. "Gomen nasai, Doctor. I didn't mean it."
A sad look enters the doctor's eyes and he pats me on the head. "It iz vater under ze bridge, Ken-kun. I knew you didn't mean it…" And in a cheerier voice, he told me, "Now, vhy don't you get your friends and I vill tell them all about Project: Trojan Horse, ya? Ve vill keep your condition a secret, at least for ze moment."
"H…hai!" I bow to him and went out to get the others, knowing that I should do something to make it up to the good Doctor. I know him well enough by now to know that underneath the cheerful facade, the doctor was hurt by my words. Damn, sometimes, my runaway mouth gets me into trouble.
[Youji]
After Ken leaves us in the reception room to talk to the doctor alone, I sit down on one end of the sofa. A few minutes later, I'm still here, puffing away at my cigarette while the cute receptionist frowns at me. I just give her a lazy smile and continue smoking.
Omi is fidgeting on the seat beside me. I know he's uncomfortable sitting in the middle especially when he feels like Ran and I will start glaring at each other anytime.
I smile at that. He should know me better by now. Sure, I'm still a bit irritated at our fearless leader but keeping grudges just isn't my style, especially when I know my glare can never match up to Ran's. Tch! Ran can probably outglare a basilisk.
I still don't know why in hell I did what I did back in Koneko…
Actually, I did. It had been boiling up inside me for sometime now but I never thought I would actually tell Ran to shove it up his ass. If it hadn't been for Kenken's fainting spells and Ran's seemingly cool reaction to it, I probably would've stayed silent. But Ran's cold response to my offer to go with Kenken just angered me.
Ran was jealous, I just know it. He was jealous and afraid that I'd steal Kenken from under him. Well, guess what, Ran…Ken isn't yours, not anymore, so you can fucking go to hell.
Not that you can steal Ken away, he still loves Ran…
That hurt! That really, really hurt.
I lean forward and grind the cigarette into the ashtray in disgust.
Damn, this infatuation with Kenken is getting me in trouble. Nothing's going to come out of it. I should really go out on dates again, get on with my life. And with that thought I resolve to flirt with the pretty receptionist.
I stand up to do just that when the door opens and Ken walks out. My eyes immediately lock unto his form as I am sure Ran's eyes do. And as is usual in most situations, Ken zeroes in on Ran.
His face looks a trifle paler than it was before we got here. My eyes narrow and my fists clench. What had the doctor done to him?
I realize how I sound. Exactly like a lovesick guy whose love has been maltreated, or in this case, may have been maltreated.
Goddamn it, Youji, you have fallen hard. Fallen hard for a boy. Not that it matters, gender is never an issue. Personality, to my way of thinking, has the greater weight. What matters is that I've fallen hard for a boy whose heart belongs to another.
Damn! Damn! Damn! I force my fists to unclench and my eyes to go back to normal.
Kudou Youji isn't born to be a lovesick martyr. Note to myself…accept the invitation that voluptuous policewoman had thrown my way yesterday or maybe her partner, the guy had flirted with me too.
Alright, world. I am back in the dating scene.
Ken is just a teammate and a friend, nothing more.
"You OK, Ken?"
Yes, that's a good question, friendly and not the least like something from a lovesick fool.
"Huh?" Ken turns to me and turns up the smile, that sunny special smile he rarely throws my way. "I'm perfectly fine, Youji." And then he beckons us all into the doctor's inner office.
It's a good thing he turned his back, because I am sure I have this stupid smile on my face in response to the smile he threw my way and my heart is still racing from it.
Friend my ass, Kudou!
Damn! Damn! Damn!