What Would You Say if I Told You...?
By Eien Mori
Act 1: 'The Object of My Affection'
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam wing, any of the characters herein, or "It's Just Love," if ya hadn't already guessed [NB. This isn't a songfic]. Warning: soppy, very mild 2+1 and angst
Heero couldn't believe it. For the next mission, the Gundam pilots would have to share one room in a safe house. It was always hell- everyone would argue, Maxwell wouldn't stop talking and by the end of it he and Wufei would have given everyone death-threats. Heero was used to sharing rooms with Duo, but it was always much worse when they were all together. At least this time they would have a television, always useful to diffuse everyone, Duo was even bringing movies to watch. 'He's always thinking about others, even though he doesn't like to show it.' Heero dropped the thought immediately.
For Duo, anytime with Heero was pleasurable, he could never say his feelings, which tore him apart, but he tortured himself by revelling in watching Heero sleep, noticing the patterns in his life; his reactions. Being in public together, especially sleeping near him in public made him nervous and excited. It seemed weird to Duo, but he knew it was the ambivalence that kept him coming back; it was a challenge. Duo wanted to be a couple with Heero, but he wasn't sure what sort of reaction he would get, he fantasised about revealing his feelings, but he couldn't bring himself to do it, distressing his heart further, as he knew what could have been. 'Will I tell you tonight?'
Duo arrived at the safe house soon after Heero; no one else had arrived yet, he was rather pleased with this: it had been some time since he had been alone with Heero. In a corner of the one room they had, Heero had set up his laptop and barely looked away from the flashing screen.
"Maxwell?"
"Hey, Heero!" Heero continued to type, as Duo walked over and sat next to him, concealing his smile at hearing his name with a mischievous grin. Heero always worried when he saw that grin, well as worried as he ever became, usually Duo had just thought up a new thing to tease him with but Heero didn't let on. Duo had always hid his awkwardness by being a jerk, he knew it annoyed the person he cared for, but it was better than being rejected, specially in front of everyone, at least on their own Duo didn't have to do anything; the grin was enough.
"Always at your laptop.hey buddy, give it a rest!" It was playful, but Duo hoped it didn't give himself away, although he wished for Heero to interpret it that way and return his emotions. Unfortunately, there's no way to say I love you so that it can be misinterpreted.
"Hnn? This is the mission data, you'd better read over it." Heero replied coldly, ignoring Duo's suggestion completely. Duo hated being ignored like that; he'd much prefer to be called baka. Although all of the information was on the screen, Duo reached over to the touch pad so that he could brush Heero's arm, then moved the pointer, the reflex causing their arms to touch again. Heero's lack of reaction filled Duo with a sense of security, but it also tore him up, he imagined Heero taking Duo's hand in his own, and actually saying his first name. Fear was controlling Duo now, stopping him from blushing, but also from using his throat probably, he knew that if he had to speak, he would definitely choke.
Trowa and Quatre entered the room, greeting Heero and Duo. Duo was supersensitive just then, looking around and quickly drawing in air.
"Don't hyperventilate, baka" The joke from Heero upset Duo somewhat, 'what if he realised why I'm tense?' However, the joke alleviated the pain of being ignored, and the rarity of a personal comment, albeit provocation made it special to Duo in a strange way. Heero relaxed slightly, people entering a safe house made even The Perfect Soldier tense; as he relaxed, he pushed his arms out slightly, softly pressing against Duo's skin. 'Is he aware of that? Oh, God I hope so.' Duo started talking immediately, scared his thoughts should betray him, fortunately the interruption cleared Duo's throat, so he joked about Quatre to cover his blushing.
As Heero showed Quatre and Trowa the mission data, Duo stared at him, thinking how perfect everything about Heero was- how the things that others might think of as faults suited him: his messy hair, even his cold face provided a basis for smiles that made them that much more special, because of the contrast. Duo had seen Heero's smile occasionally, it was really cute; whenever Duo saw it he just wanted to kiss Heero. Wufei entered with dinner; they all took it in turns to shop when they shared a room. Duo was always scared of looking at Heero when Wufei was in the room, once he gave a look of such concentration that Duo was sure he knew, but what can you do? He couldn't let that deter him from seeking Heero though, but he was always cautious.
As they all ate dinner, Duo kept choking on his food as he watched Heero chew and swallow- the way his throat moved up and down. Although they were just eating greasy, take-out pizza, it was still exciting for Duo, and it was as though the other pilots didn't exist, just voices between him and his koibito, Duo would joke with them, but he was always focused upon Heero, wondering if he felt as Duo did. Duo had often wondered what it would be like to have a 'space heart,' if it would let him tell what Heero felt for him, he half wanted that, for closure; to stop teasing himself, but his heart didn't want it to be that way- it felt somehow like lying, something he was opposed to (in most circumstances).
Everyone was getting annoyed at Duo, he would not stop talking. Trowa claimed that it was Duo's turn to clean up, a lie- they didn't take turns, but they all knew that Duo needed that to distract his mouth.
"Hey, waitaminute, I don't remember it being my turn next, it's always my turn!" And so on. Heero said he'd help Duo, to stop the rambling. Duo gave Heero a smile, but it quickly drained away to Heero's cold face. Duo gave Heero another quick grin, flicking his head up, sending his braid flying; he hoped Heero would think of it as cute, but he knew there'd be not visible reaction.
"Maxwell, could you keep it down?" Duo hadn't stopped rambling.
"Huh, sure." 'I wish I didn't have to let my mouth go like that, but otherwise it would just hang open when I'm around him; that would be too obvious.'
As Heero and Duo- well, Heero, cleaned up, the others set up the video player and TV. When the cleaners had finished, they joined Trowa, Quatre and Wufei, bringing over the beanbags Howard had kindly suppled them with. Heero lay down with his back and head on one beanbag; the others would have to share.
"So you do know how to relax, Heero!" Duo teased him a lot like that. 'I only tease, 'cause I have a crush on him'¤ Duo sat down next to Heero, copying his position on the same beanbag. Duo knew Heero wanted one to himself, but Heero didn't protest. Quatre, Trowa and Wufei took the other beanbags, not that Duo took any attention, he was too happy to be with Heero. Someone started the video- a sci-fi/horror flick, the plot slipped past Duo, he was concentrating on being in contact with Heero just enough not to let on that it was on purpose. Occasionally Heero moved away from Duo's skin, but soon returned to the same, comforting position- flat out with their arms lying against one another, and occasionally their legs touching.
"Eugh, that's gross." Duo had been watching the movie and saw something disgusting, normally he would think it was cool, but he wasn't himself just then, Duo cringed as he said it and bowed his head in slightly towards Heero. Duo barely heard Wufei call him weak, but noticed Heero's arms move cautiously as he folded his arms against Duo's, and gingerly reached out his right hand, caressing Duo's bare limb. Time seemed to freeze; was this Heero's testimony to affection? What Duo had been waiting for since the moment he set eyes on him? 'It can't be, can it?' Thoughts and brilliant sensation ran through Duo's mind, paralysing his body, all he could think was the warm touch. Heero stopped abruptly,
"Hn sorry, I thought it was the beanbag," Heero said coolly, without emotion. Duo was so confused by his emotions that he wasn't even sure if it had happened, and he couldn't believe that Heero could love him; his dream come true, he had become so used to the coldness that it hadn't seemed possible, 'but why else? Maybe he was telling the truth,' Duo deemed this unlikely but he couldn't let it slip his mind, 'Maybe he's testing me?' Duo was still scared to reveal his feelings, in case he misinterpreted Heero, so the doubts overran his mind.
The rest of the movie flew by for Duo; he couldn't get Heero's touch out of his mind. Heero had resumed his position on the beanbag, which comforted Duo slightly, but nothing else happened. Soon it was time to sleep. They all slept in their clothes; when you're a soldier, you have to be prepared for some hygiene issues. It was cold, and the pilots were all in sleeping bags, Duo used his as a blanket and tried to sleep as close to Heero as possible. When they went to sleep, Duo was only a few inches away from Heero, and Heero's face was the last thing he saw, the touch the last thing he thought of before he drifted into a pleasant, albeit short sleep. Duo couldn't remember having dreamt anything, he had presumed that he would dream about Heero, but he was way too excited. When he woke up, he realised that his feet were pressed against Heero's, through the sleeping bag. 'Oh, Hee-chan, I'm awake before you for once, and I can enjoy it.' Heero woke up when he heard Duo's raised heart rate and was slightly embarrassed not to be the first one awake, but he set up his laptop normally, ignoring Duo's:
"Good Morning, sunshine!" And his cordial smile with another flick of the braid. Heero woke up the others and went over to his laptop. Duo came over and put his elbow on Heero's shoulder. "We all gogo, He-kun?"
"Kun.? Hn, of course, baka." Finally, 'baka;' another smile, Duo was so happy he even closed his mouth for five minutes and offered to get breakfast, shocking everyone except, of course, Heero.
Duo was too excited, had too many things to think about, so breakfast past uneventfully. Afterwards, the pilots left the room, to get themselves and their Gundams ready for the mission. Duo lingered behind, glossy eyed, as he stared at where he had laid next to Heero, reminiscing. Thinking about what had happened made him feel warm and light- as though he was flying towards Heero, but stung him- he was sure Heero only stopped because he didn't react; even though he knew it wasn't his fault, he couldn't help but blame himself, it was as though he had hurt Heero in some way. Duo walked out of the room; Howard would retrieve everything, then he turned his attention to the mission, 'what if one of us dies? He'd never know how I feel.'
"Hey Heero!"
"What?"
"I.I enjoyed the movie, good choice, huh?"
"Hn, baka." Duo hated it, as he teased himself by saying over and over in his mind 'I love you,' he wished he could bring himself to risk rejection. Do sighed as he closed the door.
Inspired by "Mysterious Touch" by Eternal Guardian, used with permission. http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1179381
¤ Think "It's Just Love"
Act 1: 'The Object of My Affection'
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam wing, any of the characters herein, or "It's Just Love," if ya hadn't already guessed [NB. This isn't a songfic]. Warning: soppy, very mild 2+1 and angst
Heero couldn't believe it. For the next mission, the Gundam pilots would have to share one room in a safe house. It was always hell- everyone would argue, Maxwell wouldn't stop talking and by the end of it he and Wufei would have given everyone death-threats. Heero was used to sharing rooms with Duo, but it was always much worse when they were all together. At least this time they would have a television, always useful to diffuse everyone, Duo was even bringing movies to watch. 'He's always thinking about others, even though he doesn't like to show it.' Heero dropped the thought immediately.
For Duo, anytime with Heero was pleasurable, he could never say his feelings, which tore him apart, but he tortured himself by revelling in watching Heero sleep, noticing the patterns in his life; his reactions. Being in public together, especially sleeping near him in public made him nervous and excited. It seemed weird to Duo, but he knew it was the ambivalence that kept him coming back; it was a challenge. Duo wanted to be a couple with Heero, but he wasn't sure what sort of reaction he would get, he fantasised about revealing his feelings, but he couldn't bring himself to do it, distressing his heart further, as he knew what could have been. 'Will I tell you tonight?'
Duo arrived at the safe house soon after Heero; no one else had arrived yet, he was rather pleased with this: it had been some time since he had been alone with Heero. In a corner of the one room they had, Heero had set up his laptop and barely looked away from the flashing screen.
"Maxwell?"
"Hey, Heero!" Heero continued to type, as Duo walked over and sat next to him, concealing his smile at hearing his name with a mischievous grin. Heero always worried when he saw that grin, well as worried as he ever became, usually Duo had just thought up a new thing to tease him with but Heero didn't let on. Duo had always hid his awkwardness by being a jerk, he knew it annoyed the person he cared for, but it was better than being rejected, specially in front of everyone, at least on their own Duo didn't have to do anything; the grin was enough.
"Always at your laptop.hey buddy, give it a rest!" It was playful, but Duo hoped it didn't give himself away, although he wished for Heero to interpret it that way and return his emotions. Unfortunately, there's no way to say I love you so that it can be misinterpreted.
"Hnn? This is the mission data, you'd better read over it." Heero replied coldly, ignoring Duo's suggestion completely. Duo hated being ignored like that; he'd much prefer to be called baka. Although all of the information was on the screen, Duo reached over to the touch pad so that he could brush Heero's arm, then moved the pointer, the reflex causing their arms to touch again. Heero's lack of reaction filled Duo with a sense of security, but it also tore him up, he imagined Heero taking Duo's hand in his own, and actually saying his first name. Fear was controlling Duo now, stopping him from blushing, but also from using his throat probably, he knew that if he had to speak, he would definitely choke.
Trowa and Quatre entered the room, greeting Heero and Duo. Duo was supersensitive just then, looking around and quickly drawing in air.
"Don't hyperventilate, baka" The joke from Heero upset Duo somewhat, 'what if he realised why I'm tense?' However, the joke alleviated the pain of being ignored, and the rarity of a personal comment, albeit provocation made it special to Duo in a strange way. Heero relaxed slightly, people entering a safe house made even The Perfect Soldier tense; as he relaxed, he pushed his arms out slightly, softly pressing against Duo's skin. 'Is he aware of that? Oh, God I hope so.' Duo started talking immediately, scared his thoughts should betray him, fortunately the interruption cleared Duo's throat, so he joked about Quatre to cover his blushing.
As Heero showed Quatre and Trowa the mission data, Duo stared at him, thinking how perfect everything about Heero was- how the things that others might think of as faults suited him: his messy hair, even his cold face provided a basis for smiles that made them that much more special, because of the contrast. Duo had seen Heero's smile occasionally, it was really cute; whenever Duo saw it he just wanted to kiss Heero. Wufei entered with dinner; they all took it in turns to shop when they shared a room. Duo was always scared of looking at Heero when Wufei was in the room, once he gave a look of such concentration that Duo was sure he knew, but what can you do? He couldn't let that deter him from seeking Heero though, but he was always cautious.
As they all ate dinner, Duo kept choking on his food as he watched Heero chew and swallow- the way his throat moved up and down. Although they were just eating greasy, take-out pizza, it was still exciting for Duo, and it was as though the other pilots didn't exist, just voices between him and his koibito, Duo would joke with them, but he was always focused upon Heero, wondering if he felt as Duo did. Duo had often wondered what it would be like to have a 'space heart,' if it would let him tell what Heero felt for him, he half wanted that, for closure; to stop teasing himself, but his heart didn't want it to be that way- it felt somehow like lying, something he was opposed to (in most circumstances).
Everyone was getting annoyed at Duo, he would not stop talking. Trowa claimed that it was Duo's turn to clean up, a lie- they didn't take turns, but they all knew that Duo needed that to distract his mouth.
"Hey, waitaminute, I don't remember it being my turn next, it's always my turn!" And so on. Heero said he'd help Duo, to stop the rambling. Duo gave Heero a smile, but it quickly drained away to Heero's cold face. Duo gave Heero another quick grin, flicking his head up, sending his braid flying; he hoped Heero would think of it as cute, but he knew there'd be not visible reaction.
"Maxwell, could you keep it down?" Duo hadn't stopped rambling.
"Huh, sure." 'I wish I didn't have to let my mouth go like that, but otherwise it would just hang open when I'm around him; that would be too obvious.'
As Heero and Duo- well, Heero, cleaned up, the others set up the video player and TV. When the cleaners had finished, they joined Trowa, Quatre and Wufei, bringing over the beanbags Howard had kindly suppled them with. Heero lay down with his back and head on one beanbag; the others would have to share.
"So you do know how to relax, Heero!" Duo teased him a lot like that. 'I only tease, 'cause I have a crush on him'¤ Duo sat down next to Heero, copying his position on the same beanbag. Duo knew Heero wanted one to himself, but Heero didn't protest. Quatre, Trowa and Wufei took the other beanbags, not that Duo took any attention, he was too happy to be with Heero. Someone started the video- a sci-fi/horror flick, the plot slipped past Duo, he was concentrating on being in contact with Heero just enough not to let on that it was on purpose. Occasionally Heero moved away from Duo's skin, but soon returned to the same, comforting position- flat out with their arms lying against one another, and occasionally their legs touching.
"Eugh, that's gross." Duo had been watching the movie and saw something disgusting, normally he would think it was cool, but he wasn't himself just then, Duo cringed as he said it and bowed his head in slightly towards Heero. Duo barely heard Wufei call him weak, but noticed Heero's arms move cautiously as he folded his arms against Duo's, and gingerly reached out his right hand, caressing Duo's bare limb. Time seemed to freeze; was this Heero's testimony to affection? What Duo had been waiting for since the moment he set eyes on him? 'It can't be, can it?' Thoughts and brilliant sensation ran through Duo's mind, paralysing his body, all he could think was the warm touch. Heero stopped abruptly,
"Hn sorry, I thought it was the beanbag," Heero said coolly, without emotion. Duo was so confused by his emotions that he wasn't even sure if it had happened, and he couldn't believe that Heero could love him; his dream come true, he had become so used to the coldness that it hadn't seemed possible, 'but why else? Maybe he was telling the truth,' Duo deemed this unlikely but he couldn't let it slip his mind, 'Maybe he's testing me?' Duo was still scared to reveal his feelings, in case he misinterpreted Heero, so the doubts overran his mind.
The rest of the movie flew by for Duo; he couldn't get Heero's touch out of his mind. Heero had resumed his position on the beanbag, which comforted Duo slightly, but nothing else happened. Soon it was time to sleep. They all slept in their clothes; when you're a soldier, you have to be prepared for some hygiene issues. It was cold, and the pilots were all in sleeping bags, Duo used his as a blanket and tried to sleep as close to Heero as possible. When they went to sleep, Duo was only a few inches away from Heero, and Heero's face was the last thing he saw, the touch the last thing he thought of before he drifted into a pleasant, albeit short sleep. Duo couldn't remember having dreamt anything, he had presumed that he would dream about Heero, but he was way too excited. When he woke up, he realised that his feet were pressed against Heero's, through the sleeping bag. 'Oh, Hee-chan, I'm awake before you for once, and I can enjoy it.' Heero woke up when he heard Duo's raised heart rate and was slightly embarrassed not to be the first one awake, but he set up his laptop normally, ignoring Duo's:
"Good Morning, sunshine!" And his cordial smile with another flick of the braid. Heero woke up the others and went over to his laptop. Duo came over and put his elbow on Heero's shoulder. "We all gogo, He-kun?"
"Kun.? Hn, of course, baka." Finally, 'baka;' another smile, Duo was so happy he even closed his mouth for five minutes and offered to get breakfast, shocking everyone except, of course, Heero.
Duo was too excited, had too many things to think about, so breakfast past uneventfully. Afterwards, the pilots left the room, to get themselves and their Gundams ready for the mission. Duo lingered behind, glossy eyed, as he stared at where he had laid next to Heero, reminiscing. Thinking about what had happened made him feel warm and light- as though he was flying towards Heero, but stung him- he was sure Heero only stopped because he didn't react; even though he knew it wasn't his fault, he couldn't help but blame himself, it was as though he had hurt Heero in some way. Duo walked out of the room; Howard would retrieve everything, then he turned his attention to the mission, 'what if one of us dies? He'd never know how I feel.'
"Hey Heero!"
"What?"
"I.I enjoyed the movie, good choice, huh?"
"Hn, baka." Duo hated it, as he teased himself by saying over and over in his mind 'I love you,' he wished he could bring himself to risk rejection. Do sighed as he closed the door.
Inspired by "Mysterious Touch" by Eternal Guardian, used with permission. http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1179381
¤ Think "It's Just Love"