Chapter 18
"It's not that.bad."
"Are you kidding? That's the ugliest thing I've ever seen!"
"Duo!"
"No Quatre, he's right."
"Trowa! How can you say that? Catherine must have looked really hard, and thought really hard, and tried really hard to find this-this-"
"What is it anyway?"
"It's.um."
"See, even you don't know what it is!"
"Well, that's not the important part! The important part is that Catherine got it for us for Christmas and we should be very thankful."
"She'll probably be very thankful if we give it back to her and tell her to get her money back."
"Trowa!"
They were standing in the living room of Trowa and Quatre's apartment. Three days until Christmas and they'd decided to go as a group to town and have dinner. The final shift was over, and since Quatre had somehow managed to spill tea all down the front of his shirt, they'd decided to stop by the apartment so he could change.
Presents had been coming into the base since early November and he and Trowa had already come home to find ones from Relena and Rashid. Off base delivery trucks sometimes dropped off their packages at the guard stations, but every now and then were allowed to set up elaborate or heavy gifts themselves. Because the apartments had no porches to leave packages on or a centralized storing area, security allowed the packages to be placed on prearranged drop points; his and Trowa's being the desk in their living room.
So when they'd come home to find a very wide and thin crate, they'd both known it was a present of some kind. Duo had been overly excited to find out what was in it; so while Quatre had gone into the bedroom to change shirts, Trowa had opened the crate to discover Catherine had sent them a rather.individual piece of artwork.
"Trowa! Your sister sent this too you, to us, for Christmas. I think it was very thoughtful of her."
"I don't think she thought before she bought it."
Quatre gasped at Trowa. "That's a terrible thing to say!"
Trowa shook his head and propped the painting against the desk before moving to stand behind him.
Ever since that terrible moment on the couch only six days before, Quatre had found himself shying away from Trowa's touch whenever his lover was near. He wanted to go to Trowa so badly, but every time he tried, every time he stood to sit next to Trowa on the couch or sit in his lap, all he could think was it was all a lie. Going to Trowa now, acting the part of a weak lover needing protection, it was false, and more than that, wrong. He couldn't sleep with Trowa under false pretenses again, the last time had almost killed him; and yet whenever he tried to talk to Trowa about what had happened, his partner would get a cold look on his face and tell him to forget about it, that it would never happen again. Nothing he did seemed to change Trowa's opinion on it, and his heart ached with the pain from it. For six days the link had remained void and silent, and every time Trowa moved to touch him, he couldn't help but shy away.
He flinched ever so slightly as Trowa's strong and elegant hands rested on the upper part of his arms. He knew Trowa felt it, knew because even though the link was closed, he could still sense the vast amount of hurt that rolled off of Trowa. But it was getting common place, and Trowa simply gave his head a quick shake and pointed to the picture.
"Tell me, what's that picture of?"
Quatre knew a trick question when he heard it; he decided on honesty. "I have no idea. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't appreciate it."
Trowa chuckled. "I appreciate it. But if I don't know what it is, I'm not going to hang it in our home."
Quatre turned his head to regard his lover. "Trowa, we're hanging this picture up in the perfect place so that Catherine can see it first thing when she comes to visit."
Grimacing, Trowa looked at him with pleading in his eyes; Quatre returned it with mischief. "Luv, you need to think like a diplomat. We'll hang the picture in the other spare room, and when Catherine comes to visit, we'll move it to the front." He smiled cheekily at Trowa's relief and shock. "Diplomat, Luv, diplomat."
Suddenly, long fingers found his sides and Trowa tickled him mercilessly until he called out; and even when those offensive fingers were removed, he couldn't help but continue to giggle. He nuzzled under Trowa's chin, and sighed when Trowa kissed his forehead and wrapped his arms more securely about him.
It was hard to explain. Simple things like this were true. He could be with Trowa like this; could cuddle with him at certain times and know it was real. But intimate moments, times when he and Trowa were alone, those were the times that felt false and empty. He wished he could explain it better. With Corinne still recovering from the empathic storm Killashandra had had, he found himself with nowhere to seek answers but his own mind.
"I think I like it when you're diplomatic."
Quatre giggled. "You like me when I'm being a tyrant too."
Personal pain raced through Quatre at his careless words. He hadn't meant to say that, he'd only been trying to be cute, but it was too close to his real situation. Diplomatic was what he was with Trowa now, what was killing Trowa even as they stood there. Tyrannical was what he needed to be, not the abusive part of that, but just the powerful and controlling part.
His laughter died away almost immediately, and at Trowa's concerned expression he had to duck and move away, out of arms that loved him, and yet now seemed to suffocate him all the same.
"Quatre?" Trowa's voice was concerned.
He turned to Duo and Heero who stood by the desk; ignoring Trowa. "Who's the other package from?"
He could feel the tension mounting in the room; and obviously so could the others. Duo smiled and turned to look at the tag on the package; Heero's expression remained neutral and fixed on Quatre.
"Say's here it's from.Oh hey! It's from Sekurra! Quatre you gotta open this before we go!"
Duo picked up the package and gave it a toss, scaring Quatre half to death as he raced to catch it. He glared deathly at his friend before setting the package on the edge of the couch and tearing into it.
Beyond the packing paper was a box, which opened up to reveal an envelope and another box, only this one made of plastic and metal. He opened the envelope as he gestured to Trowa to remove the box.
Inside was a beautiful card. The handwriting was delicate and graceful, and very much Sekurra's. He read the card out loud.
"'To Uncle Quatre and "Uncle" Trowa' she put your 'uncle' part in quotes," he told Trowa; his partner smiled. "'Merry Christmas! I know we don't celebrate the religious side of Christmas, but the gift part isn't bad.' Trowa, there's a little smiley face, see!" He beamed, showing his lover the three lines that made up the eyes and smile. Trowa chuckled at his excitement. "'I was going through some of the things up in the attic at the house and I found this box. When I opened it, imagine my surprise to find a case filled with old home movies from when we were kids! Not that we're old now or something. Anyway, there are about a hundred vid disks in there, all chalked full of' oh no, 'baby Quatre, toddler Quatre, little boy Quatre, and even a few I'm a spoiled brat Quatre's.' How could she do this too me?" Quatre sighed and hung his head in shame as the others laughed and Trowa opened the case to see that indeed it contained over a hundred vid disks, all baring labels as to the date and contents. Quatre shuddered in horror of what was to come; he continued. "'I know Trowa's gonna love this present, and just in case Uncle Quatre doesn't like it' listen to this, Trowa, she built in her own plea bargain, 'remind Trowa that one of those vid's has a,'" he laughed, "'naked Quatre running away from Cijen and a diaper.'"
The others busted out laughing, even Heero. Quatre set the card on the table and covered his face with his hands. Trowa drew him into his chest, and silently, Quatre noted that he hadn't flinched all that much this time. Duo picked up the card.
"'Anyway, thank you very much for the present, how did you know it was my turn to visit the holy land this year? Well I guess you would since you had to go two years before me. Thanks a lot though, I've taken time off and everything, it's going to be a great pilgrimage; I'm even bringing a friend of mine, his name's Lark, you know, like the bird, wish me luck!'" Quatre groaned and buried his face in Trowa's shirt; leave it to Sekurra to make a holy ritual into a chance to find a boyfriend.
Duo continued. "'One more thing, just so you know, this isn't really your present. Actually I got you a vase to replace the one I broke at the Winter Gala. This is a present just to tide you over until it arrives. I hope you enjoy the vids. And thanks again for letting me use the De'Larrag estate for my party, I'm expecting it to be a huge bash! Talk to you soon! Your loving niece, Sekurra.' She's such a sweet kid."
Heero snorted. "She's not that much younger than you."
Mocking insult, Duo turned to lay into his partner. "You're always going to do that aren't you?! Well guess what Mister? You're not that much older than I am anyway, so quite trying to make it sound like you're some wise old man instead of just my big, strong, cuddly.hunky.hott.oh forget it, just take me now, hard and fast!" Duo dropped the card and jumped for Heero. Somehow the stoic pilot managed to catch Duo mid air before pulling him in tightly and kissing him passionately.
Quatre laughed as he moved to examine the disks they'd been given. He sorted through a few before one of the titles caught his eye and had him laughing and groaning at the same time. Trowa came to look over his shoulder.
Holding the disk up, Quatre showed him the title "Orla's Wedding." "You're not seeing this one." He smiled before moving his hand to put the disk back. However, in the blink of an eye, Trowa snatched the disk from his hand and moved towards the vid player.
"No, Trowa, don't! It's the most embarrassing thing! I was four; that's embarrassing in and of itself, but that one's just really bad! Trowa!" But his partner ignored him as he pushed the disk into the player. "Trowa, I thought we had to go to dinner. Remember, dinner?"
"No go Q. Blackmail material always proceeds food, just ask Heero." Duo said just as the door chimes rang.
Mumbling to himself as he moved to the door he made sure Duo and Heero could hear his next comment. "I would but with his face in your neck I'm surprised he can hear anything."
Heero's muffled reply sounded as he punched in the unlock code. "I heard that."
Sally, Wufei, Corinne, and Lady Une stood there smiling; he could hear Marieminna talking to Shingam and Killa behind the adults. He quickly turned away from them, not even saying hello. "See, Trowa! Dinner, we have to go to dinner now!" Trowa ignored him and that had Quatre ready to beg. "Oh please, Trowa! I'll just die, I swear it, I'll just die if you play that thing, I mean it!"
Sally heard the only slight untruth to that statement and looked around him to Trowa. "What's up, Trowa?"
His partner's eyes twinkled in delight as he got the vid ready to play. "Quatre's niece sent us some home movies of Quatre. He doesn't want us to see him in his diapers."
Duo interjected. "Hey now! Sekurra said Quatre wasn't exactly in his diapers, he was running away from them, buck naked!" He giggled as he took Heero's hand and moved them to a prime seat on the couch.
"Is that so?" Quatre turned around in time to watch Lady Une push by him in an attempt to get a good seat for herself and Marieminna.
"OH NO! We have dinner reservations! They're at Jake O'Shanasee's; remember, the best restaurant in town." Sally and Wufei brushed passed him, leaving Corinne to smile at him once before stepping past herself. "Is anyone listening to me?"
"We are." He looked down to see Shingam and Killashandra holding hands, behind them stood Marieminna; Shingam had spoken.
Sighing he knelt down and held open his arms; immediately three small bodies rushed him, and he laughed when he was almost pushed over. Though Killashandra had exhibited no further emotions since her terror induced screaming during her first session with Corinne, the little girl now clung to him every chance she got, this one being no exception.
He kissed them all, before lifting Killa into his arms, and taking Shingam's hand; Marieminna held onto him by the pocket of his dress pants. "I guess we're ordering pizza."
Marieminna smiled. "Yeah! I love pizza!"
But Shingam made a sick face and Quatre chuckled, remembering his first experience with pizza. "Don't worry Shingam, they've got breadsticks and chicken as well, we'll get you that, ok?" The little boy smiled and nodded, bringing Quatre's hand to his face to nuzzle.
For the last five days he'd slept with the children in their bed. Shingam had taken to him as much as Killashandra had; often seeking him out during the day. He and the children had taken to sitting on the couch together and watching old movies. Duo had introduced them to a long line of American cartoons by a company called Disney. So far, their favorite was Cinderella, though Shingam insisted on pointing out the inconsistencies between the cartoon and the story they'd read. Quatre only wished he'd shown them the movie, and not the book.
As he approached the couch, Duo and Heero abandoned it to sit on the floor, snuggling together with one of the blankets. Wufei and Sally shared one of the plush chairs, and in fact, Sally rested squarely in Wufei's lap; Quatre wondered at their increasingly public displays of affection. He smiled; knowing it pleased Sally to no end.
He dropped Marieminna off to sit in Lady Une's lap while he moved to the couch and handed the two children to Duo and Heero who quickly plopped one in each lap and snuggled them both under the blanket as well. That left Corinne on one side of the couch and he and Trowa on the other.
Knowing it was pointless but worth a laugh anyway, he moved to stand in front of Trowa. Putting on his best puppy dog eyes, he stuck his lower lip out and brought his clasped hands up under his chin. "Oh please, Trowa, if you loved me, if you really loved me, you wouldn't do this. Take my money! Take my happiness! Take my cup and brush shaving set I know you like so much!" He had to laugh as Trowa rolled his eyes and Shingam giggled. "Hell, even take the picture my boyfriends sister just gave us!" He cracked up then, loosing his composure to laughter before he regained it; the others were howling. "But please, Trowa, if you love me, if you really love me, you won't play that vid! Take anything you want from me, but please leave me my dignity!"
And in the most comical display ever, Trowa looked up to the ceiling as if to consider it, before shaking his head and pushing the play button. Hanging his head in shame he allowed Trowa to maneuver him back to the couch where they snuggled together as the vid started.
The first part had Orla in her dressing room, the servants and his sisters helping her into her wedding dress. Trowa leaned over and whispered in his ear. "If it really bothers you, I'll turn it off."
Quatre looked up at him and kissed the underside of his chin. "That's ok, I haven't seen these in a really long time, if I remember, they're actually pretty funny."
Trowa, shifted them, pulling Quatre to lay against him before pulling one of his long legs out from under Quatre, and wrapping it about his waist. He smiled at Quatre's comfortable and yet questioning look. "In case you try to get away during the embarrassing parts."
Quatre groaned. "They're all embarrassing parts, Trowa. That's the meaning of home vid's."
Trowa smiled wistfully then. "It'll be nice to see what you looked like back then. I've only ever seen that picture on your desk of when you were six."
Quatre smiled back. "It's too bad we don't have any home vid's of you as a child."
Trowa lost his smile then. "No, it's not a bad thing. I wouldn't have had any happy memories to waste the film on."
Burying his face in Trowa's neck, he laid a few kisses there before pulling him in for an impassioned kiss. "Then we'd better get a vid camera now to capture all of these happy moments, I wouldn't want you to forget them."
"I could never forget them."
Then Duo ruined the moment. "Will the two of you shut up, you're kissy face sounds are making the kids sick. Aren't they kids?" Duo looked down at the children for help. They looked at him blankly. Shrugging he said, "Well, guess not."
They laughed, and just then, the humiliation began.
Four year old Quatre stood in a beautifully tailored white suit. His blonde hair was gelled and combed back away from his face, revealing two shining bright blue eyes. But his eyes weren't shining with childlike wonder, but terror. Twenty year old Quatre nearly died with shame as the vid showed every four year olds worst nightmare.
Hands covering his crotch, knees bent and shaking, four year old Quatre whined pitifully into the camera. "Liteeaaaaaaa, I hava go to the bathroom really, really, really badddddddd!!!!!!!"
In both the vid and their apartment, the room erupted in laughter; Trowa held him tighter as Quatre tried to crawl into his shirt.
The vid continued, this time Liteea's voice spoke from behind the camera. "Quatre, didn't I tell you to go to the bathroom before you got dressed?"
The little boy nodded, still shaking. "I did! I did! But Nana gave me juice 'cause I was thirsty and now I really, really, really hava go!!"
"Have To, not hava, and you'll just have to hold it, you're wearing a white suit."
Little Quatre whined. "I can't wait that long, I, have, to, go! Really, really, really-"
"Yes, I know, bad." She sighed. "Alanna, take this thing, and someone find Cijen!" The camera was passed to one of his other sisters while still another went to find Cijen. Absently, Quatre noted that his favorite sister was only thirteen at this time.
Liteea knelt down before the barely holding on four year old. "Quatre, I can't help you if you don't move your hands." But little Quatre had something to say about that.
"If I move my hands all the juice I drank is just gonna come right out! Liteeaaaaaa!!!"
Quatre moaned into Trowa's chest as his lover shook with mirth.
And then like a cool breeze in the desert, he heard the voice he'd grown to love over the years, the voice that had soothed his nightmares, sung him to sleep, and whispered secrets of favoritism too.
"Liteea! For the love of Allah, let the poor thing go to the bathroom!" Cijen entered the frame, her beautiful brown and gold hair tied back with a satin ribbon in Orla's wedding party colors. The dress was simple, but for a girl just starting to grow into her body, it hung with good taste and class.
"I'm trying, but he's being stubborn."
"I am not! Cijen, if I move my hands I'm just gonna, gonna," the child blushed away from his sister before turning back and whispering loudly. "Pee my pants."
But Cijen only smiled brightly as Liteea rolled her eyes, before nuzzling cheek. "Ok, we'd better get you to the bathroom really, really fast then, hu?"
"That's what I've been trying to tell Liteea!"
"Don't you worry, Quatre, we'll get you there in time. Don't let Liteea bother you, she was always running to the bathroom when she was pregnant."
"Cijen!"
But Cijen just giggled. "Come on, Quatre, follow me." And follow he did, knees locked together, hands never leaving their place to hold check to his over stuffed body, Quatre wobbled after Cijen pleading with her to slow down and then hurry up.
The vid cut out just in time to hear Liteea call out to make sure he took off his pants before going so he wouldn't get anything on them. It cut to the prompt, revealing the end of that segment and waiting for advance from the controller.
Quatre just about died, as the room erupted in laughter yet again. He had to admit it was funny, but there was just something wrong about laughing at the discomfort of a four year old. He turned accusingly to the others. "I'll have you know that I just barely made it to the bathroom!" That sent them roaring, and Heero and Wufei were held in check only by the people sitting on their laps.
When the laughter died down a little, Marieminna spoke up. "Don't worry Quatre, that's happened to me before too." Marieminna smiled kindly to him from her mom's lap and Quatre smiled and thanked her.
"Yeah Quatre," Duo commented. "That's happened to all of us; but man is it ever funny that we got to see your every humiliating detail!"
Quatre buried his head away from Duo's comments. Trowa ran delicate fingers through his hair to sooth him, but Quatre only snuggled in close, avoiding eye contact when possible.
He heard Duo put the vid on pause as he used the machine to call for pizza, making sure to include chicken and breadsticks for Shingam. And then the humiliation continued.
As the wedding and the vid progressed, they were treated to little Quatre singing the ABC song, dancing with his teddy bear, and even the mad rush to get him a new pair of pants when he indeed managed to spill something on them right before the wedding. But the kicker came once the wedding began.
As the only male, and a child too boot, Quatre was appointed the ring bearer. Beside him as he walked down the aisle was two year old Sekurra, her white dress almost bigger than she was; her title, flower girl. The problem started half way down the aisle.
Rose petals and jasmine lay beautifully down the center of the aisle, but only half way. As the audience watched, Sekurra ran out of flowers and stopped right in the middle, dead in her tracks. At first little Quatre didn't notice and continued on his way, as Sekurra turned to look back behind her and then down at her empty basket. Finally, she did the only thing a two year old knows how to do, she cried.
Sniffles caught Quatre's attention as he turned from his rehearsed procession to look back at the lagging Sekurra. Being careful not to drop the rings he held on a white silk pillow, he waked quickly back up the aisle to find out what was wrong with his friend and neice.
The vid disk captured it all.
"Sekurra, are you ok?"
"I-I-I don' hav' an'more flowers." She punctuated the point by tipping over her basket.
Looking dismayed, Quatre looked back up the aisle to the carpet of flower petals, and then the other direction where there were none. Deciding that couldn't happen, he looked pointedly at Sekurra and said in no uncertain terms. "Don't worry, I'll get you more." And then, like a little knight in white armor, one four year old boy bent down and started picking up the previously dropped petals.
The guests as the wedding laughed as Quatre and Sekurra fisted handful after handful of flower petals and deposited them back into the basket. Quatre even went so far as to forgo a farther way handful for tearing off the petals of the aisle decorations.
Finally, Cijen appeared, calling laughingly at the two of them. She met them half way as Quatre pulled Sekurra down the aisle in a mock bridal procession.
"Cijen, Sekurra ran out of flowers!"
Trying not to laugh, young Cijen tried her best to propel them along. "It's ok, just keep going."
"But Orla will cry if it isn't perfect," wailed little Quatre.
"Mommy!!!!!" And that was all Sekurra could stand. Dropping down in the middle of the aisle she started to sob in ernest. Which wasn't something her favorite uncle was prepared to allow.
"Sekurra! Don't cry, look!" Thinking the rings were as good as the petals, he took the two gold bands and dropped them on the floor, much to Cijen's horror. "See! Now both of us don't have anything to throw. Don't cry." And the darling blonde swept in and hugged his little niece tightly, soothing her tears instantly.
Cijen, for her part, was on her hands and knees searching for the two rolling rings. Finding them, she grabbed Quatre's pillow, slammed the rings on it, and handed it delicately back to Quatre with a stern, "Don't drop these!" And then scooted both children to the end of the aisle, to much cheering from the guest both at the chapel and in Quatre's apartment.
Trowa leaned in to whisper in Quatre's ear. "And I thought I was the only clown in our relationship."
Quatre chuckled. "I beat you too it by ten good years I think." Trowa laughed with him.
For the remainder of the recorded ceremony everything went smoothly, Orla was wed to a wonderful man, and Sekurra even got her flower petals on the way out of the chapel.
Quatre was having a grand time. It'd been so long since he'd seen himself happy with his sisters. He'd forgotten that until just recently, while not all had been overly sisterly towards him, none had hated him either. Mostly he was mesmerized by Cijen, his most beautiful and beloved sister. He watched her as she smiled beautifully for the camera, and later as she'd danced with a friend in the background of some camera shot. He always seemed to find her, in every picture; she'd always been the center of his world.
But at the age of four, Quatre's life had been birthday parties and coloring crayons, he hardly remembered that in only a few short years, his young life had come crashing down before him. He hoped the vid didn't cover that far.
He wasn't paying much attention, if he had, he might have noticed the warning signs on the vid, as it was, when his father appeared in the frame, he was completely taken off guard.
Tall and proud, Raberba Winner commanded attention wherever he went; and as his picture and voice sounded, Quatre stiffened with attention.
"There's that son of mine!"
"FATHER!!!" A smaller version of himself ran adoringly up to the man, where he was swung up and into a strong pair of arms. Mr. Winner kissed his son soundly on the cheek before smiling to the camera.
"You did very well today, Quatre. I wasn't sure Sekurra was going to make it." He laughed as Quatre got a haughty look on his face.
"'Course she made it! She's my niece and I hava take care of her!"
"And you did a fine job of it."
"Yep, 'cause I'm the brother!"
"Yes you are!" He laughed, swinging his son around a few times. "Can you keep a secret, Little Sultan?"
Little Sultan. He'd forgotten about that old pet name. His father had once told him that he was descended from a long line of kings; and that in the old days he would have been the king of lands instead of the CEO of a company. He'd forgotten all about it.
Little Quatre whispered quietly back. "Yep."
Mr. Winner winked at the camera and the daughter holding it. "I happen to know that Orla's going to cut that cake you've been eyeing, very soon. If you promise not to say I told you so, we'll go stand in line and get a big piece; how's that sound?"
Quatre's tiny face brightened instantly. "Yeah! We'll be really quiet, like thieves! Like the thief you told me about, the one in the story!"
"Aladdin."
"Yeah!"
"You know, you'll have to marry the beautiful princess if you pretend to be Aladdin."
A stricken expression fell over the child's face before he stuck his tongue out, "Yuck!"
His father howled and little Quatre, not catching the joke but understand his father's good humor, giggled as well. "Come on Little Sultan, we'll steal the cake now, and get you married to the princess later."
"OK!"
And off they went, the camera shutting off just as Quatre looked over his father's shoulder and waved.
The vid disk waited for its next prompt from the controller; none came.
Quatre was held firmly against Trowa, his lover trying in vain to quiet the shaking that had overcome his over stressed body. His father's voice, his laughter. He'd forgotten so many things, good things; but with the good came the bad. Images of his father's beatings, of the hateful words that never stopped, even in his sleep. Good and bad things, his father hadn't been a bad man, not overall, only to Quatre.
He didn't see the nod Corinne gave Trowa over his head.
Trowa's voice was low and soothing, quiet as he rubbed soft circles against his back. "Are you ok?"
Quatre didn't answer right away, he didn't know the answer. There were so many emotions right now, so many things he needed to think about. To appease them, he nodded his head slightly.
"Quatre," this time, Corinne. "We can talk for a little while if you need to." He shook his head.
"I'll be fine."
Suddenly the com rang, startling them all in the silence. Needing to move and feeling an overwhelming need to get away, Quatre stood quickly and moved to accept the call.
"Winner."
"Captain Winner? Did you by some chance, order a pizza?"
It was the guard station at the front gate. They were supposed to have called ahead and let them know an outside vender was coming, Duo must have forgotten. He turned around to confirm, and sure enough, Duo was smacking his forehead.
"Yes, I'm sorry we forgot to radio ahead, I'll be down to pick it up immediately."
"No problem, Sir. We'll hold it for you. I'll even try to keep the boys from eating it; but you better hurry, our shift doesn't end for another hour and we're due for some supper." Quatre recognized the identification number on the com unit as the voice belonging to one of his own men; he smiled at his joke.
"Baker, if I find one piece missing, I'm sending Marieminna down to personally chew you out." He turned and winked at the little girl.
"Is the Duchess there? Tell her security got her kite down from the west wing a little while ago and I'm holding it for her at gate ten."
Quatre laughed at the soldiers' pet name for the red haired girl. "I'll tell her. Winner out."
He turned back to his friends. "I'm gonna grab the food. Feel free to watch me humiliate myself more if you'd like."
He got to the door panel before Trowa caught his arm. "Are you alright?"
He nodded silently.
The gentle caress of his face startled him, but for the first time in days he didn't flinch away. The kiss that followed grounded him. "I'll go with you."
Quatre shook his head. "No, stay. I'm just going to grab the food and come back; fifteen minutes tops." But as he made to leave, Trowa wouldn't let him go. "Trowa?"
"I thought you promised to tell me when things were bothering you from now on." It was a gentle reminder, not a hurtful one, and Quatre sighed before nodding.
"I don't really know how I feel right now. It's confusing. I need just a few moments to figure it all out. Let me grab the food, and when I get back, I'll probably have figured it all out, ok?"
But Trowa wasn't convinced. "So you'll talk to me when you get back?"
Quatre smiled and kissed him soundly. "Promise."
Trowa finally nodded, touching their foreheads together before kissing Quatre once more and tapping him on the butt. "Hurry back, I'm hungry."
Quatre coyly looked over his shoulder. "For the pizza or me?"
"While company's here, pizza."
"And when company's gone?"
"Hurry back and find out."
Quatre laughed, he wasn't sure where he stood with Trowa now on a physical level, but he'd always love this wonderful man, always.
"Quatre?" Marieminna appeared behind Trowa's leg. "Can I come with you? I'll help carry the food, and we can stop and get my kite on the way. I don't like going to gate ten by myself, it's down the scary tunnel."
He smiled and took her hand. "No problem, let's go!" And with that they left to collect the night's dinner.
"It's not that.bad."
"Are you kidding? That's the ugliest thing I've ever seen!"
"Duo!"
"No Quatre, he's right."
"Trowa! How can you say that? Catherine must have looked really hard, and thought really hard, and tried really hard to find this-this-"
"What is it anyway?"
"It's.um."
"See, even you don't know what it is!"
"Well, that's not the important part! The important part is that Catherine got it for us for Christmas and we should be very thankful."
"She'll probably be very thankful if we give it back to her and tell her to get her money back."
"Trowa!"
They were standing in the living room of Trowa and Quatre's apartment. Three days until Christmas and they'd decided to go as a group to town and have dinner. The final shift was over, and since Quatre had somehow managed to spill tea all down the front of his shirt, they'd decided to stop by the apartment so he could change.
Presents had been coming into the base since early November and he and Trowa had already come home to find ones from Relena and Rashid. Off base delivery trucks sometimes dropped off their packages at the guard stations, but every now and then were allowed to set up elaborate or heavy gifts themselves. Because the apartments had no porches to leave packages on or a centralized storing area, security allowed the packages to be placed on prearranged drop points; his and Trowa's being the desk in their living room.
So when they'd come home to find a very wide and thin crate, they'd both known it was a present of some kind. Duo had been overly excited to find out what was in it; so while Quatre had gone into the bedroom to change shirts, Trowa had opened the crate to discover Catherine had sent them a rather.individual piece of artwork.
"Trowa! Your sister sent this too you, to us, for Christmas. I think it was very thoughtful of her."
"I don't think she thought before she bought it."
Quatre gasped at Trowa. "That's a terrible thing to say!"
Trowa shook his head and propped the painting against the desk before moving to stand behind him.
Ever since that terrible moment on the couch only six days before, Quatre had found himself shying away from Trowa's touch whenever his lover was near. He wanted to go to Trowa so badly, but every time he tried, every time he stood to sit next to Trowa on the couch or sit in his lap, all he could think was it was all a lie. Going to Trowa now, acting the part of a weak lover needing protection, it was false, and more than that, wrong. He couldn't sleep with Trowa under false pretenses again, the last time had almost killed him; and yet whenever he tried to talk to Trowa about what had happened, his partner would get a cold look on his face and tell him to forget about it, that it would never happen again. Nothing he did seemed to change Trowa's opinion on it, and his heart ached with the pain from it. For six days the link had remained void and silent, and every time Trowa moved to touch him, he couldn't help but shy away.
He flinched ever so slightly as Trowa's strong and elegant hands rested on the upper part of his arms. He knew Trowa felt it, knew because even though the link was closed, he could still sense the vast amount of hurt that rolled off of Trowa. But it was getting common place, and Trowa simply gave his head a quick shake and pointed to the picture.
"Tell me, what's that picture of?"
Quatre knew a trick question when he heard it; he decided on honesty. "I have no idea. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't appreciate it."
Trowa chuckled. "I appreciate it. But if I don't know what it is, I'm not going to hang it in our home."
Quatre turned his head to regard his lover. "Trowa, we're hanging this picture up in the perfect place so that Catherine can see it first thing when she comes to visit."
Grimacing, Trowa looked at him with pleading in his eyes; Quatre returned it with mischief. "Luv, you need to think like a diplomat. We'll hang the picture in the other spare room, and when Catherine comes to visit, we'll move it to the front." He smiled cheekily at Trowa's relief and shock. "Diplomat, Luv, diplomat."
Suddenly, long fingers found his sides and Trowa tickled him mercilessly until he called out; and even when those offensive fingers were removed, he couldn't help but continue to giggle. He nuzzled under Trowa's chin, and sighed when Trowa kissed his forehead and wrapped his arms more securely about him.
It was hard to explain. Simple things like this were true. He could be with Trowa like this; could cuddle with him at certain times and know it was real. But intimate moments, times when he and Trowa were alone, those were the times that felt false and empty. He wished he could explain it better. With Corinne still recovering from the empathic storm Killashandra had had, he found himself with nowhere to seek answers but his own mind.
"I think I like it when you're diplomatic."
Quatre giggled. "You like me when I'm being a tyrant too."
Personal pain raced through Quatre at his careless words. He hadn't meant to say that, he'd only been trying to be cute, but it was too close to his real situation. Diplomatic was what he was with Trowa now, what was killing Trowa even as they stood there. Tyrannical was what he needed to be, not the abusive part of that, but just the powerful and controlling part.
His laughter died away almost immediately, and at Trowa's concerned expression he had to duck and move away, out of arms that loved him, and yet now seemed to suffocate him all the same.
"Quatre?" Trowa's voice was concerned.
He turned to Duo and Heero who stood by the desk; ignoring Trowa. "Who's the other package from?"
He could feel the tension mounting in the room; and obviously so could the others. Duo smiled and turned to look at the tag on the package; Heero's expression remained neutral and fixed on Quatre.
"Say's here it's from.Oh hey! It's from Sekurra! Quatre you gotta open this before we go!"
Duo picked up the package and gave it a toss, scaring Quatre half to death as he raced to catch it. He glared deathly at his friend before setting the package on the edge of the couch and tearing into it.
Beyond the packing paper was a box, which opened up to reveal an envelope and another box, only this one made of plastic and metal. He opened the envelope as he gestured to Trowa to remove the box.
Inside was a beautiful card. The handwriting was delicate and graceful, and very much Sekurra's. He read the card out loud.
"'To Uncle Quatre and "Uncle" Trowa' she put your 'uncle' part in quotes," he told Trowa; his partner smiled. "'Merry Christmas! I know we don't celebrate the religious side of Christmas, but the gift part isn't bad.' Trowa, there's a little smiley face, see!" He beamed, showing his lover the three lines that made up the eyes and smile. Trowa chuckled at his excitement. "'I was going through some of the things up in the attic at the house and I found this box. When I opened it, imagine my surprise to find a case filled with old home movies from when we were kids! Not that we're old now or something. Anyway, there are about a hundred vid disks in there, all chalked full of' oh no, 'baby Quatre, toddler Quatre, little boy Quatre, and even a few I'm a spoiled brat Quatre's.' How could she do this too me?" Quatre sighed and hung his head in shame as the others laughed and Trowa opened the case to see that indeed it contained over a hundred vid disks, all baring labels as to the date and contents. Quatre shuddered in horror of what was to come; he continued. "'I know Trowa's gonna love this present, and just in case Uncle Quatre doesn't like it' listen to this, Trowa, she built in her own plea bargain, 'remind Trowa that one of those vid's has a,'" he laughed, "'naked Quatre running away from Cijen and a diaper.'"
The others busted out laughing, even Heero. Quatre set the card on the table and covered his face with his hands. Trowa drew him into his chest, and silently, Quatre noted that he hadn't flinched all that much this time. Duo picked up the card.
"'Anyway, thank you very much for the present, how did you know it was my turn to visit the holy land this year? Well I guess you would since you had to go two years before me. Thanks a lot though, I've taken time off and everything, it's going to be a great pilgrimage; I'm even bringing a friend of mine, his name's Lark, you know, like the bird, wish me luck!'" Quatre groaned and buried his face in Trowa's shirt; leave it to Sekurra to make a holy ritual into a chance to find a boyfriend.
Duo continued. "'One more thing, just so you know, this isn't really your present. Actually I got you a vase to replace the one I broke at the Winter Gala. This is a present just to tide you over until it arrives. I hope you enjoy the vids. And thanks again for letting me use the De'Larrag estate for my party, I'm expecting it to be a huge bash! Talk to you soon! Your loving niece, Sekurra.' She's such a sweet kid."
Heero snorted. "She's not that much younger than you."
Mocking insult, Duo turned to lay into his partner. "You're always going to do that aren't you?! Well guess what Mister? You're not that much older than I am anyway, so quite trying to make it sound like you're some wise old man instead of just my big, strong, cuddly.hunky.hott.oh forget it, just take me now, hard and fast!" Duo dropped the card and jumped for Heero. Somehow the stoic pilot managed to catch Duo mid air before pulling him in tightly and kissing him passionately.
Quatre laughed as he moved to examine the disks they'd been given. He sorted through a few before one of the titles caught his eye and had him laughing and groaning at the same time. Trowa came to look over his shoulder.
Holding the disk up, Quatre showed him the title "Orla's Wedding." "You're not seeing this one." He smiled before moving his hand to put the disk back. However, in the blink of an eye, Trowa snatched the disk from his hand and moved towards the vid player.
"No, Trowa, don't! It's the most embarrassing thing! I was four; that's embarrassing in and of itself, but that one's just really bad! Trowa!" But his partner ignored him as he pushed the disk into the player. "Trowa, I thought we had to go to dinner. Remember, dinner?"
"No go Q. Blackmail material always proceeds food, just ask Heero." Duo said just as the door chimes rang.
Mumbling to himself as he moved to the door he made sure Duo and Heero could hear his next comment. "I would but with his face in your neck I'm surprised he can hear anything."
Heero's muffled reply sounded as he punched in the unlock code. "I heard that."
Sally, Wufei, Corinne, and Lady Une stood there smiling; he could hear Marieminna talking to Shingam and Killa behind the adults. He quickly turned away from them, not even saying hello. "See, Trowa! Dinner, we have to go to dinner now!" Trowa ignored him and that had Quatre ready to beg. "Oh please, Trowa! I'll just die, I swear it, I'll just die if you play that thing, I mean it!"
Sally heard the only slight untruth to that statement and looked around him to Trowa. "What's up, Trowa?"
His partner's eyes twinkled in delight as he got the vid ready to play. "Quatre's niece sent us some home movies of Quatre. He doesn't want us to see him in his diapers."
Duo interjected. "Hey now! Sekurra said Quatre wasn't exactly in his diapers, he was running away from them, buck naked!" He giggled as he took Heero's hand and moved them to a prime seat on the couch.
"Is that so?" Quatre turned around in time to watch Lady Une push by him in an attempt to get a good seat for herself and Marieminna.
"OH NO! We have dinner reservations! They're at Jake O'Shanasee's; remember, the best restaurant in town." Sally and Wufei brushed passed him, leaving Corinne to smile at him once before stepping past herself. "Is anyone listening to me?"
"We are." He looked down to see Shingam and Killashandra holding hands, behind them stood Marieminna; Shingam had spoken.
Sighing he knelt down and held open his arms; immediately three small bodies rushed him, and he laughed when he was almost pushed over. Though Killashandra had exhibited no further emotions since her terror induced screaming during her first session with Corinne, the little girl now clung to him every chance she got, this one being no exception.
He kissed them all, before lifting Killa into his arms, and taking Shingam's hand; Marieminna held onto him by the pocket of his dress pants. "I guess we're ordering pizza."
Marieminna smiled. "Yeah! I love pizza!"
But Shingam made a sick face and Quatre chuckled, remembering his first experience with pizza. "Don't worry Shingam, they've got breadsticks and chicken as well, we'll get you that, ok?" The little boy smiled and nodded, bringing Quatre's hand to his face to nuzzle.
For the last five days he'd slept with the children in their bed. Shingam had taken to him as much as Killashandra had; often seeking him out during the day. He and the children had taken to sitting on the couch together and watching old movies. Duo had introduced them to a long line of American cartoons by a company called Disney. So far, their favorite was Cinderella, though Shingam insisted on pointing out the inconsistencies between the cartoon and the story they'd read. Quatre only wished he'd shown them the movie, and not the book.
As he approached the couch, Duo and Heero abandoned it to sit on the floor, snuggling together with one of the blankets. Wufei and Sally shared one of the plush chairs, and in fact, Sally rested squarely in Wufei's lap; Quatre wondered at their increasingly public displays of affection. He smiled; knowing it pleased Sally to no end.
He dropped Marieminna off to sit in Lady Une's lap while he moved to the couch and handed the two children to Duo and Heero who quickly plopped one in each lap and snuggled them both under the blanket as well. That left Corinne on one side of the couch and he and Trowa on the other.
Knowing it was pointless but worth a laugh anyway, he moved to stand in front of Trowa. Putting on his best puppy dog eyes, he stuck his lower lip out and brought his clasped hands up under his chin. "Oh please, Trowa, if you loved me, if you really loved me, you wouldn't do this. Take my money! Take my happiness! Take my cup and brush shaving set I know you like so much!" He had to laugh as Trowa rolled his eyes and Shingam giggled. "Hell, even take the picture my boyfriends sister just gave us!" He cracked up then, loosing his composure to laughter before he regained it; the others were howling. "But please, Trowa, if you love me, if you really love me, you won't play that vid! Take anything you want from me, but please leave me my dignity!"
And in the most comical display ever, Trowa looked up to the ceiling as if to consider it, before shaking his head and pushing the play button. Hanging his head in shame he allowed Trowa to maneuver him back to the couch where they snuggled together as the vid started.
The first part had Orla in her dressing room, the servants and his sisters helping her into her wedding dress. Trowa leaned over and whispered in his ear. "If it really bothers you, I'll turn it off."
Quatre looked up at him and kissed the underside of his chin. "That's ok, I haven't seen these in a really long time, if I remember, they're actually pretty funny."
Trowa, shifted them, pulling Quatre to lay against him before pulling one of his long legs out from under Quatre, and wrapping it about his waist. He smiled at Quatre's comfortable and yet questioning look. "In case you try to get away during the embarrassing parts."
Quatre groaned. "They're all embarrassing parts, Trowa. That's the meaning of home vid's."
Trowa smiled wistfully then. "It'll be nice to see what you looked like back then. I've only ever seen that picture on your desk of when you were six."
Quatre smiled back. "It's too bad we don't have any home vid's of you as a child."
Trowa lost his smile then. "No, it's not a bad thing. I wouldn't have had any happy memories to waste the film on."
Burying his face in Trowa's neck, he laid a few kisses there before pulling him in for an impassioned kiss. "Then we'd better get a vid camera now to capture all of these happy moments, I wouldn't want you to forget them."
"I could never forget them."
Then Duo ruined the moment. "Will the two of you shut up, you're kissy face sounds are making the kids sick. Aren't they kids?" Duo looked down at the children for help. They looked at him blankly. Shrugging he said, "Well, guess not."
They laughed, and just then, the humiliation began.
Four year old Quatre stood in a beautifully tailored white suit. His blonde hair was gelled and combed back away from his face, revealing two shining bright blue eyes. But his eyes weren't shining with childlike wonder, but terror. Twenty year old Quatre nearly died with shame as the vid showed every four year olds worst nightmare.
Hands covering his crotch, knees bent and shaking, four year old Quatre whined pitifully into the camera. "Liteeaaaaaaa, I hava go to the bathroom really, really, really badddddddd!!!!!!!"
In both the vid and their apartment, the room erupted in laughter; Trowa held him tighter as Quatre tried to crawl into his shirt.
The vid continued, this time Liteea's voice spoke from behind the camera. "Quatre, didn't I tell you to go to the bathroom before you got dressed?"
The little boy nodded, still shaking. "I did! I did! But Nana gave me juice 'cause I was thirsty and now I really, really, really hava go!!"
"Have To, not hava, and you'll just have to hold it, you're wearing a white suit."
Little Quatre whined. "I can't wait that long, I, have, to, go! Really, really, really-"
"Yes, I know, bad." She sighed. "Alanna, take this thing, and someone find Cijen!" The camera was passed to one of his other sisters while still another went to find Cijen. Absently, Quatre noted that his favorite sister was only thirteen at this time.
Liteea knelt down before the barely holding on four year old. "Quatre, I can't help you if you don't move your hands." But little Quatre had something to say about that.
"If I move my hands all the juice I drank is just gonna come right out! Liteeaaaaaa!!!"
Quatre moaned into Trowa's chest as his lover shook with mirth.
And then like a cool breeze in the desert, he heard the voice he'd grown to love over the years, the voice that had soothed his nightmares, sung him to sleep, and whispered secrets of favoritism too.
"Liteea! For the love of Allah, let the poor thing go to the bathroom!" Cijen entered the frame, her beautiful brown and gold hair tied back with a satin ribbon in Orla's wedding party colors. The dress was simple, but for a girl just starting to grow into her body, it hung with good taste and class.
"I'm trying, but he's being stubborn."
"I am not! Cijen, if I move my hands I'm just gonna, gonna," the child blushed away from his sister before turning back and whispering loudly. "Pee my pants."
But Cijen only smiled brightly as Liteea rolled her eyes, before nuzzling cheek. "Ok, we'd better get you to the bathroom really, really fast then, hu?"
"That's what I've been trying to tell Liteea!"
"Don't you worry, Quatre, we'll get you there in time. Don't let Liteea bother you, she was always running to the bathroom when she was pregnant."
"Cijen!"
But Cijen just giggled. "Come on, Quatre, follow me." And follow he did, knees locked together, hands never leaving their place to hold check to his over stuffed body, Quatre wobbled after Cijen pleading with her to slow down and then hurry up.
The vid cut out just in time to hear Liteea call out to make sure he took off his pants before going so he wouldn't get anything on them. It cut to the prompt, revealing the end of that segment and waiting for advance from the controller.
Quatre just about died, as the room erupted in laughter yet again. He had to admit it was funny, but there was just something wrong about laughing at the discomfort of a four year old. He turned accusingly to the others. "I'll have you know that I just barely made it to the bathroom!" That sent them roaring, and Heero and Wufei were held in check only by the people sitting on their laps.
When the laughter died down a little, Marieminna spoke up. "Don't worry Quatre, that's happened to me before too." Marieminna smiled kindly to him from her mom's lap and Quatre smiled and thanked her.
"Yeah Quatre," Duo commented. "That's happened to all of us; but man is it ever funny that we got to see your every humiliating detail!"
Quatre buried his head away from Duo's comments. Trowa ran delicate fingers through his hair to sooth him, but Quatre only snuggled in close, avoiding eye contact when possible.
He heard Duo put the vid on pause as he used the machine to call for pizza, making sure to include chicken and breadsticks for Shingam. And then the humiliation continued.
As the wedding and the vid progressed, they were treated to little Quatre singing the ABC song, dancing with his teddy bear, and even the mad rush to get him a new pair of pants when he indeed managed to spill something on them right before the wedding. But the kicker came once the wedding began.
As the only male, and a child too boot, Quatre was appointed the ring bearer. Beside him as he walked down the aisle was two year old Sekurra, her white dress almost bigger than she was; her title, flower girl. The problem started half way down the aisle.
Rose petals and jasmine lay beautifully down the center of the aisle, but only half way. As the audience watched, Sekurra ran out of flowers and stopped right in the middle, dead in her tracks. At first little Quatre didn't notice and continued on his way, as Sekurra turned to look back behind her and then down at her empty basket. Finally, she did the only thing a two year old knows how to do, she cried.
Sniffles caught Quatre's attention as he turned from his rehearsed procession to look back at the lagging Sekurra. Being careful not to drop the rings he held on a white silk pillow, he waked quickly back up the aisle to find out what was wrong with his friend and neice.
The vid disk captured it all.
"Sekurra, are you ok?"
"I-I-I don' hav' an'more flowers." She punctuated the point by tipping over her basket.
Looking dismayed, Quatre looked back up the aisle to the carpet of flower petals, and then the other direction where there were none. Deciding that couldn't happen, he looked pointedly at Sekurra and said in no uncertain terms. "Don't worry, I'll get you more." And then, like a little knight in white armor, one four year old boy bent down and started picking up the previously dropped petals.
The guests as the wedding laughed as Quatre and Sekurra fisted handful after handful of flower petals and deposited them back into the basket. Quatre even went so far as to forgo a farther way handful for tearing off the petals of the aisle decorations.
Finally, Cijen appeared, calling laughingly at the two of them. She met them half way as Quatre pulled Sekurra down the aisle in a mock bridal procession.
"Cijen, Sekurra ran out of flowers!"
Trying not to laugh, young Cijen tried her best to propel them along. "It's ok, just keep going."
"But Orla will cry if it isn't perfect," wailed little Quatre.
"Mommy!!!!!" And that was all Sekurra could stand. Dropping down in the middle of the aisle she started to sob in ernest. Which wasn't something her favorite uncle was prepared to allow.
"Sekurra! Don't cry, look!" Thinking the rings were as good as the petals, he took the two gold bands and dropped them on the floor, much to Cijen's horror. "See! Now both of us don't have anything to throw. Don't cry." And the darling blonde swept in and hugged his little niece tightly, soothing her tears instantly.
Cijen, for her part, was on her hands and knees searching for the two rolling rings. Finding them, she grabbed Quatre's pillow, slammed the rings on it, and handed it delicately back to Quatre with a stern, "Don't drop these!" And then scooted both children to the end of the aisle, to much cheering from the guest both at the chapel and in Quatre's apartment.
Trowa leaned in to whisper in Quatre's ear. "And I thought I was the only clown in our relationship."
Quatre chuckled. "I beat you too it by ten good years I think." Trowa laughed with him.
For the remainder of the recorded ceremony everything went smoothly, Orla was wed to a wonderful man, and Sekurra even got her flower petals on the way out of the chapel.
Quatre was having a grand time. It'd been so long since he'd seen himself happy with his sisters. He'd forgotten that until just recently, while not all had been overly sisterly towards him, none had hated him either. Mostly he was mesmerized by Cijen, his most beautiful and beloved sister. He watched her as she smiled beautifully for the camera, and later as she'd danced with a friend in the background of some camera shot. He always seemed to find her, in every picture; she'd always been the center of his world.
But at the age of four, Quatre's life had been birthday parties and coloring crayons, he hardly remembered that in only a few short years, his young life had come crashing down before him. He hoped the vid didn't cover that far.
He wasn't paying much attention, if he had, he might have noticed the warning signs on the vid, as it was, when his father appeared in the frame, he was completely taken off guard.
Tall and proud, Raberba Winner commanded attention wherever he went; and as his picture and voice sounded, Quatre stiffened with attention.
"There's that son of mine!"
"FATHER!!!" A smaller version of himself ran adoringly up to the man, where he was swung up and into a strong pair of arms. Mr. Winner kissed his son soundly on the cheek before smiling to the camera.
"You did very well today, Quatre. I wasn't sure Sekurra was going to make it." He laughed as Quatre got a haughty look on his face.
"'Course she made it! She's my niece and I hava take care of her!"
"And you did a fine job of it."
"Yep, 'cause I'm the brother!"
"Yes you are!" He laughed, swinging his son around a few times. "Can you keep a secret, Little Sultan?"
Little Sultan. He'd forgotten about that old pet name. His father had once told him that he was descended from a long line of kings; and that in the old days he would have been the king of lands instead of the CEO of a company. He'd forgotten all about it.
Little Quatre whispered quietly back. "Yep."
Mr. Winner winked at the camera and the daughter holding it. "I happen to know that Orla's going to cut that cake you've been eyeing, very soon. If you promise not to say I told you so, we'll go stand in line and get a big piece; how's that sound?"
Quatre's tiny face brightened instantly. "Yeah! We'll be really quiet, like thieves! Like the thief you told me about, the one in the story!"
"Aladdin."
"Yeah!"
"You know, you'll have to marry the beautiful princess if you pretend to be Aladdin."
A stricken expression fell over the child's face before he stuck his tongue out, "Yuck!"
His father howled and little Quatre, not catching the joke but understand his father's good humor, giggled as well. "Come on Little Sultan, we'll steal the cake now, and get you married to the princess later."
"OK!"
And off they went, the camera shutting off just as Quatre looked over his father's shoulder and waved.
The vid disk waited for its next prompt from the controller; none came.
Quatre was held firmly against Trowa, his lover trying in vain to quiet the shaking that had overcome his over stressed body. His father's voice, his laughter. He'd forgotten so many things, good things; but with the good came the bad. Images of his father's beatings, of the hateful words that never stopped, even in his sleep. Good and bad things, his father hadn't been a bad man, not overall, only to Quatre.
He didn't see the nod Corinne gave Trowa over his head.
Trowa's voice was low and soothing, quiet as he rubbed soft circles against his back. "Are you ok?"
Quatre didn't answer right away, he didn't know the answer. There were so many emotions right now, so many things he needed to think about. To appease them, he nodded his head slightly.
"Quatre," this time, Corinne. "We can talk for a little while if you need to." He shook his head.
"I'll be fine."
Suddenly the com rang, startling them all in the silence. Needing to move and feeling an overwhelming need to get away, Quatre stood quickly and moved to accept the call.
"Winner."
"Captain Winner? Did you by some chance, order a pizza?"
It was the guard station at the front gate. They were supposed to have called ahead and let them know an outside vender was coming, Duo must have forgotten. He turned around to confirm, and sure enough, Duo was smacking his forehead.
"Yes, I'm sorry we forgot to radio ahead, I'll be down to pick it up immediately."
"No problem, Sir. We'll hold it for you. I'll even try to keep the boys from eating it; but you better hurry, our shift doesn't end for another hour and we're due for some supper." Quatre recognized the identification number on the com unit as the voice belonging to one of his own men; he smiled at his joke.
"Baker, if I find one piece missing, I'm sending Marieminna down to personally chew you out." He turned and winked at the little girl.
"Is the Duchess there? Tell her security got her kite down from the west wing a little while ago and I'm holding it for her at gate ten."
Quatre laughed at the soldiers' pet name for the red haired girl. "I'll tell her. Winner out."
He turned back to his friends. "I'm gonna grab the food. Feel free to watch me humiliate myself more if you'd like."
He got to the door panel before Trowa caught his arm. "Are you alright?"
He nodded silently.
The gentle caress of his face startled him, but for the first time in days he didn't flinch away. The kiss that followed grounded him. "I'll go with you."
Quatre shook his head. "No, stay. I'm just going to grab the food and come back; fifteen minutes tops." But as he made to leave, Trowa wouldn't let him go. "Trowa?"
"I thought you promised to tell me when things were bothering you from now on." It was a gentle reminder, not a hurtful one, and Quatre sighed before nodding.
"I don't really know how I feel right now. It's confusing. I need just a few moments to figure it all out. Let me grab the food, and when I get back, I'll probably have figured it all out, ok?"
But Trowa wasn't convinced. "So you'll talk to me when you get back?"
Quatre smiled and kissed him soundly. "Promise."
Trowa finally nodded, touching their foreheads together before kissing Quatre once more and tapping him on the butt. "Hurry back, I'm hungry."
Quatre coyly looked over his shoulder. "For the pizza or me?"
"While company's here, pizza."
"And when company's gone?"
"Hurry back and find out."
Quatre laughed, he wasn't sure where he stood with Trowa now on a physical level, but he'd always love this wonderful man, always.
"Quatre?" Marieminna appeared behind Trowa's leg. "Can I come with you? I'll help carry the food, and we can stop and get my kite on the way. I don't like going to gate ten by myself, it's down the scary tunnel."
He smiled and took her hand. "No problem, let's go!" And with that they left to collect the night's dinner.