Disclaimer: Weiß Kreuz
is not mine.
Whee!
Whee! I have the next part…its short and ken-centric. Not to mention a
little stupid but then again its Ken…sick Ken.
Ken:
*grumbles* sure, rationalize your messy writing why don't you?
Swyth-chan:
*whacks Ken* Urusai, you…you invalid!
Ken:
I am not an invalid!
Swyth-chan:
Nyah! Nyah! You are too.
Ken:
Raaaannnn!!!!!
Swyth-chan:
*sweatdrops* The things sick people do…now you're a crybaby.
Ran:
*enters with sword swinging* Shinnneeeee!
*Swyth-chan
runs away*
Ok
enough with the fooling around….here's the ficcie…
Götterdammerüng
(Twilight of the Gods)
Part 17
[Ken]
"Doctor!" I crash into the
doctor's laboratory. And the doctor looks up from the blood scans he is
doing with an unsurprised expression on his face.
The question in my eyes must
be so evident because as soon as the doctor guides me to a chair he nods
his head in my direction.
"I haf yust finished ze scans
on Ran's blood. He iz in ze late stages of Trojan."
My heart jumps up into my
throat at the doctor's pronouncement. And it is all I can do to choke out
the next words through a throat that has constricted.
"Demo…how is that possible,
doctor! He just got infected tonight."
The doctor sighs. "It zeems
that Zeiger has mutated ze virus yet again, combining the Plasmodium Falciparum
[1] with ze new Trojan strain. Zis has made Trojan even more deadly since
it has incorporated some aspectz uf ze Blackwater fever [2]. It only takes
a few days to kill off its victim."
"How many days?" I say tightly,
not daring to look at the doctor as my insides clench in fear.
"At hiz condition? He haz
already entered coma. Two days at the most. One if he cannot hold out."
No…
No…
"N…n…no. It can't be." I
slide out of my chair bonelessly at the horrific situation. Not Ran. Dear
God, not him.
"I am zorry, Ken." I can
feel the sorrow in the doctor's voice. And I react.
"Don't say it like he is
dying already, doctor! Surely, surely there is a way to cure him."
The doctor shakes his head.
"If we haf Astyanax for Trojan, it vud still cure Ran. But zince ve don't..."
He pats my shoulder.
Hope flares in my chest at
what the doctor just told me. Astyanax, Astyanax could cure Ran. And I,
I am Astyanax.
"Doctor!" I grip the doctor's
arms. "It is time Astyanax did his job."
Alarm lights up the doctor's
eyes, framed by the dark glasses he wears. "Absolutely out uf ze question,
Ken! You are still veak from ze mission you did. Ve cannot proceed vit
Astyanax or it might…"
I shake my head vehemently.
"Now is the perfect time! I'm perfectly fine." Of course, I ignore the
throbbing in my head. It is not a time to give in to weakness, not when
Ran…
Not when Ran needs me the
most.
"Zat is a lie. You are not
perfectly fine az you vell know, Ken. And ve need you to be as healthy
as possible."
Okay so the doctor can't
be fooled. Not when he knows me so well. I try a different tactic. One
I should have employed before.
I try the truth. I try to
tell him my feelings.
"Look, Doc, let's face the
truth. I may never be perfectly fine. Ever. You know and I know the chances
you have calculated when we entered this. I know we have been hoping for
the best and trying to prolong it to increase the chances but now, in the
light of this new development, we can wait no longer."
"You are saying zis because
it iz ze one you love on ze line. You are losing your objectivity, Ken."
I smile sadly at the doctor.
"Yes, it is Ran on the line. And that is one of the reasons why I do this.
But I have never had objectivity in the first place, doctor. I only agreed
to wait before because the situation has not worsened as much as it has
during the past days. I am not hypocritical. I still want to live after
all. Like you, I have been hoping that all would be fine. That the time
frame we alloted would be enough."
I shake my head, more to
myself, I guess than for the doctor. "But now the situation has worsened.
This new mutation can spread anytime soon and we still need to extract
Astyanax. There is no time. No time for us and no time for Trojan's victim.
We need to do it *now*. We are the city's only hope."
In my heart I know that I
am rationalizing to myself too, convincing myself that this is the way.
Because eventhough I do want to save Ran and that alone should steel my
nerves, I am still afraid.
I am afraid of closing my
eyes and not being able to open them again, ever. Not to hear the laughing
voices of my soccer kids, not to be able to shoo Youji away for harping
on and on about taking care of myself, not to laugh as I see Omi obsessively
clacking away on his computer, and not to see Ran…
I, Ken Hidaka, am afraid
to die. Funny, this. After living with death at my side as a member of
Weiß for so long, that I would be afraid now. But then again, it
has been two years since I did not think as an assassin. Two years of knowing
normal living, or at least as normal as it was, without Ran by my side.
Death had seemed so very
far off.
/I am afraid of dying
but I have to save Ran./
Yes, I do. Besides, there
is still a chance for me to live. The doctor is the best in the business.
/That's it. Smile. Hope
springs eternal in a Hidaka's heart. Be strong Ken. Be strong./
"Doctor, please. You know
just how many people are infected with Trojan. And Cassandra has made the
rounds. Just how long do you think those people will have before their
condition worsens to a stage where even Astyanax will not cure them?"
I pause, looking at the doctor.
I can see the conflict in his eyes. He is, after all, a saver of life.
He does not want to see people die. At the same time I know that he is
worried for me. He hates the thought that I might die just for the antidote.
The whirling emotions in
his eyes need only a push from me to make him agree. And by now I know
the right buttons to push.
"For the sake of everyone
who needs the antidote. Astyanax must be extracted. Now. At whatever the
cost, whatever the sacrifice. It is your duty as a doctor to do so." I
puto ut a hand to Dr. K's arm and give him a sunny grin. "Besides, I'm
certainly not going to die. Not without a fight and certainly not with
such a good doctor with me, ne, Dr. K?"
"Ken…" The doctor shakes
his head and smiles at me fondly. "Alvays ze optimist."
"Someone has to be, doc.
Someone has to be."
"So vhen do you vant to start?"
Ran. No time to lose. "As
soon as possible. Now if its ok."
I can see the doctor consider
my impatience. "Vhy don't ve vait for the ozers to arrive? I'm sure zey
are on zer vay here already."
"No!" I can't help but cry
out. This startles Dr. K and I try to recover by scratching my head and
offering an explanation. "I mean, not good. You know how Youji is. The
mother hen will just fuss about a lot and that'll get my blood pressure
up."
The doctor shrugs. "If you
zay zo. Ve can start in a few minutes."
"Great doc! I'll just be
in the other room. Call me ne?"
"Ja!"
I can't let Youji or Omi
know what I am doing. They would not understand why I would do this now
and will try to stop me. I'm 100% sure of that.They're going to point out
that I am too weak, too sick to begin extracting Astyanax.
And they would be right too.
Even now I can feel my legs trembling at the effort of walking, and I feel
like I am stuck in a sound proof chamber. Every noise sounds muffled and
faraway. It is taking everything in me to stand up… All that is holding
me up is a stubborn streak as wide and long as the Great Wall of China.
If Youji and Omi are to arrive
before the doctor and I even start they would examine me minutely before
allowing the procedures to begin. They will notice the paleness and promtly
abandon the idea of doing the extraction.
Which would be disastrous.
Much as I appreciate the concern they have for me I cannot let them stop
this. There is too much at stake. The people in the city, the kids, and…Ran.
They needed Astyanax. And I needed to see them alive.
I enter our room and sit
down again on the chair next to Ran's bed, holding one pale unresponsive
hand in my right hand while alternately stroking scarlet hair out of his
face with another.
I stare hard, trying to memorize
the sleep-softened features of the one person whom I love the most..it
would probably be a good long while before I can see anyone or thing again
and it seems fitting that the last thing I will see before Astyanax is
Ran.
"It seems Ran that our talk
will have to wait ne?"
My fingers trail lightly
and gently up his arm as I try to take in his features into my heart, my
eyes roaming over familiar and loved features as I talk softly, addressing
Ran's prone form.
"I wanted to talk to you
right after the mission Ran. I wanted to tell you to forget about the past
and all the misunderstandings. I wanted to be able to be able to hold your
hand and hear you say you're willing to start over."
"I want…
I want to tell you…
….that I love you."
I laugh a self-derisive laugh.
There I finally said it. And what good does it do me when Ran doesn't even
know I am here, much less hear what I said?
/Aa, but isn't that the
story of my life? First Kaze, then Yuriko…now Ran. I just can't seem to
hold on to anybody at all./
Tears gather again and I
dash them away with one hand. This is not the time for tears or even doubts.
It is a time for me to be strong. Especially with so many people counting
on me.
I bury my face in Ran's chest,
searching for a little comfort.
It is so hard…so hard to
be strong when all I want is to be protected and cared for…just once.
What is taking the doctor
so long…all this free time is making me think up silly thoughts that I
shouldn't be having at all.
I wonder if Youji and Omi
have finished the mission. I hope nothing has happened to them. But then
again, I hope they aren't on their way over here now either. Because those
two are the only ones who can stop this now. And I can't have it stopped.
Knock! Knock!
I look up as I hear the soft
knock on the door and softly reply.
"Its open."
"Ken? Ze lab iz ready. Ve
can proceed if you are zure."
Zero hour.
"Of course I am sure. Let's
go, doc."
There is no turning back
now.
I kiss Ran softly on the
lips. A liberty I can bravely take because he will not know anyway. "Oyasumi,.
Sleeping Beauty. You'll wake up soon, I promise."
And with that I stand up
and follow the doctor out of the door.
"Are you zure about zis,
Ken? Vat about Youji and Omi?"
I shrug. "They'll understand
the need. They are Weiß, they know our duty."
/But they won't like it./
I can almost picture the
horrified expressions on their faces.
/I am sorry, Omi, Youji.
I hope you forgive me./
TBC ^_~ Comments onegai?
Its hard going these days…hard
to write. *whacks muses* They're too engrossed in each other to offer inspiration
*grumbles*
