* * *
"Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas!"
"SANTA!"
They were in the dinning room, warm blankets from family couches adorned the ground in a litany of colors to match those that danced across the brightly lit tree. The single couch was occupied by Sally, Wufei, Marieminna on her mom's lap, and Corinne on the arm; while around them sat the others. Heero held an elated Shingam as the boy's eyes widened in wonder and disbelief of the golly fat man before him. Duo's face was just as wonder-filled though his gaze was taking in the sight of his son's first Christmas. On a blanket close by, Quatre sat with Killashandra resting in his lap. Unlike two days before, Killa's eyes held less expression than her face, but still, there was a flicker of understanding and awe in her posture; at least enough to set Trowa to smiling.
There was something mystical about the tiny child Quatre held in his arms. She seemed so small and helpless, yet they knew that she had already killed in her young life-killed and been killed. Trowa was stunned as the little girl in question turned to look at him, their eyes locking into place with one another.
Since using the link the night before, when he'd witnessed how Quatre saw the likeness between himself and their daughter, he too could see the similarities. Her eyes, it was all in her eyes; all her pain and sorrow, all her warmth and happiness, every emotion she possessed was in her eyes, and yet her eyes were silent. So much like his own, so much like the eyes that had reflected back at him blankly from his cockpit monitor, or even the cracked mirror he'd used after he'd been rescued from space. Empty, and yet there was life behind them, he knew, he remembered, hoping with all of his heart, that one day, someone would see that his own eyes were not as lifeless as they appeared.
He smiled wider and lifted his hand to give her a tickle under her chin. Unlike most children she didn't giggle-he remembered he hadn't giggled either-instead she leaned into the touch, craving more contact, begging for physical touch. He'd been the same way. Words made little sense to him growing up. Words alone were pieces of sound that meant nothing. Touch was something. Hard slaps across the face where for rage, ones against his back were compliments, ones across his ass were promises of something he didn't want to think about. Touch drove him, and when he'd first started his relationship with Quatre, touch was all he'd understood.
Quatre had been so gentle with him, no one before had ever been so gentle. When Quatre touched him, Trowa knew, knew on a level of understand he couldn't comprehend, that Quatre wasn't going to hurt him, that Quatre loved him. His gentle lover's touch was soothing and calming, always full of patience and understanding. If he could have remembered his mother, he was sure that she would have touched him like Quatre had in those early months. Caresses so full of love that they seemed to overshadow all other touches that came before it. Catherine had been the first to touch him with pure kindness, but he'd known he was in love with Quatre the day the small blond had snuck up on him, hugged him from behind, and he hadn't flinched away. The day he knew Quatre couldn't and wouldn't hurt him was the day he knew he'd spend the rest of his life loving him.
Over the top of Killa's head, Quatre smiled at him. The two shared a knowing look. Quatre would always understand him, always. All Quatre had ever had to do was look at him to know what he was thinking or how to help him. Trowa suppressed a grimace at how much Quatre had had to sacrifice to do that for him, to be the constant leader for him. But that was behind them, Quatre was gentle and kind, sometimes too, and Trowa wasn't going to let him fall back into old patterns just because he was having a hard time adapting to his new role as leader. Quatre hadn't been healthy all that long, and now, with so many things happening all at once, it was more important than ever for him to protect Quatre.
His Quatre.
The blond man smiled before twisting Killa around to face the golly man in red and white.
"Look, Killa, that's Santa Claus, can you wave at him? Hm? Can you wave?" And like Trowa had seen other father's do over the years, Quatre lifted Killashandra's limp hand and waved it back and forth. Trowa couldn't help the laugh that broke from him as he watched Quatre. "Are you laughing at me, Trowa? Killa," he looked down at the little girl who was now watching the two of them closely. "You're Papa is laughing at me, do you hear him, he's laughing! Well, we'll see if he gets any good presents from Santa Claus, won't we?" He kissed her then, rapid kisses that would have caused a bawling child to giggle, but simply caused Killashandra to turn away.
He saw it then, that quick fad of sparkle from Quatre's eyes, and he watched sadly as Quatre turned to see Duo teasing Shingam and the boy responding in kind.
Trowa wasn't about to complain; how could he? Before him was the most beautiful child he'd ever seen, his child. Quatre's platinum blond hair adorned her head, in curly waves that reminded him of Catherine's equally as curly hair. Green eyes that saw but reflected nothing, eyes that he felt drawn too against his will. She was small and thin, too thin, and part of that reminded him of himself, tried, cold and hungry at her age, and the rest reminded him of Quatre, who's physical appearance was always that of a person who'd had too little to eat. Everything about her was a combination of the two of them, as if those scientists had simply drawn a line down his and Quatre's centers and pasted them together, to create this gorgeous child before them.
But she was quiet, too quiet, and terribly disturbed. Unlike most children she was four years old, and didn't speak, not a single word, and on the occasions when her eyes widened, it was a day for celebration. He and Quatre would laugh and cheer when something caught her attention and caused her to focus on the real world instead of the one she resided in most of the time. She wasn't normal, nothing about her was, and to a certain extent, it pained him to no end.
He watched Quatre try to shrug it off. His lover had been ready, completely prepared, to welcome both Shingam and Killashandra into their home. But Shingam couldn't stay with them, and with his departure left the vital link to Killashandra. How would they communicate with her? How would they know what she liked and disliked without Shingam there to guide them through her thoughts? It was hard to know, hard to watch Duo and Heero laugh with their new son, and see Quatre suffer silently through his disappointment.
He shifted, scooting closer to Quatre so that as they sat on the floor, he wrapped one leg behind and around his partner and the other one around his front Indian style posture. His long arms snaked around his partner and his daughter, pulling them in close and tucking two blond heads beneath his chin. Startled, Quatre looked up at him, a questioning look on his face.
"You looked like you could use a hug."
Slightly ashamed at being caught, Quatre ducked his head. "That obvious, hu?"
"Only to me, Luv, only to me." But Quatre said nothing, and as the presents began their way around the room, and Shingam's laugher grew louder and Killa's silence more deafening, Quatre snuggled closer into him, silent himself as he struggled with what couldn't be.
He tried his best to comfort Quatre, tried to do it quietly so that no one would notice; but some people were paid to notice.
"Quatre?" He and Quatre looked up in time to see Corinne settling across from them on the blanket, Marieminna squealing in joy behind her. "How are you doing?"
He didn't have to be empathic to sense it, Quatre's withdraw and the raising of his shields to protect his inner thoughts from observation. "As well as can be expected, it's a bit overwhelming."
"I'm sure it is. It's not everyday you find out you're a father."
"No. No it isn't." Quatre ran his fingers over Killa's hair, a smile replacing his earlier non-expression. There was no doubt that Quatre loved his daughter, their daughter. Everything he did spoke of his love for her now. There was a lingering sadness, but not directed at Killa, she was perfect, but Trowa could sense that Quatre was blaming himself for her sad beginnings.
"Quatre, you're doing wonderfully." He smiled down at his lover, and was relieved when an answering smile fell across noble lips.
"Thank you, so are you. We're not doing too badly for forty-eight hours worth of fatherhood, are we?" He shook his head before kissing Quatre's temple. "Thanks, I really needed that."
"Thought so."
"Oh Quatre, Trowa, I love her! I love her so much! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!" Marieminna came running towards them, her new AI doll clutched tightly in her hand. Hugging them both soundly, she bent down to give Killa a kiss as well. "I heard that you're Quatre and Trowa's daughter now Killa, so my new doll was from you too. Thank you very much! You can come over and play with her whenever you want!"
For a few minutes Marieminna talked to Killa, unmindful of her lack of responses. Finally the red haired girl hugged his family one more time and then returned to her mother's side. Duo's voice carried over the joy in the room.
"Marieminna, you better never put that doll down for all the trouble Quatre when through to get it for you. You wouldn't believe the story if I told you!" Marieminna's answering giggle and promise prompted another round of gifts.
From them had been a gift of a large decorative vase to Lady Une who thanked them kindly for it. To Sally and Wufei had been an indoor crystal water fountain that sounded in beautiful tones as the water cascaded over the crystals. Wufei was in better spirits, as was his fiancée, and they both accepted the gift as they tried to decide where to put it. Duo and Heero had been given the pieces for a stain glass window inlay for their living room window seat. Again thanks were given and then Corinne opened her tiny thin box to reveal a month long all expense paid vacation to Paris, France. Modestly she tried to give it back, but Quatre would hear nothing of it, stating in no uncertain terms that she deserved it for putting up with him for the past two months; they all laughed when Corinne agreed whole-heartedly.
For them, was a set of ancient Chinese decorative scrolls from Wufei and Sally, a set of wall sconces from Lady Une and Marieminna, an aquarium set with a fifty gallon tank complete with a voucher for fish from Duo and Heero, and a beautiful hand made quilt from Corinne. Thanks and praises were handed out as all the families talked amongst themselves and the children continued to open one brightly wrapped present after another.
He unwrapped Killa's presents for her, while Quatre helped her to figure out what to do with them. Ironically, she wasn't so un-normal though, as she appeared more fascinated with the wrapping paper, ribbons and bows, and boxes than the actual presents inside. He and Quatre laughed as they watched Killa stare at a piece of gold wrapping paper, watching her reflection in the foil.
When the children's presents were all unwrapped, the partners exchanged gifts.
Wufei gifted Sally with a pair of diamond earrings, he said, to match the new ring on her finger. His smile grew even wider however, when he presented her with six months worth of once a week spa treatments; to help with her pregnancy. She squealed like a child and hugged him hard for a long time before giving him a specially designed set of warm up katana's and a tee-shirt that read, "Daddy in the Making." And Wufei laughed, kissing Sally for all she was worth.
Next came Duo and Heero. An entire set of European fairytales was awarded to Heero for allowing Duo to live one more year, while a whispered gift left Heero nearly blushing. Duo received a tiny box that held a single key in it. The key Heero said was to the new motorcycle Duo had been after him to get. Duo whooped it up and proclaimed loudly upon returning from the garage that the cycle was amazing, and in black with hooker red finishing.
Finally it was his turn. Killa sat quietly with Shingam and Marieminna in front of the tree; Marieminna brushing her new doll's hair, while Shingam sat with Killa between his legs, his arms wrapped about her as she held a newly acquired stuffed camel courtesy of Quatre. The children and the room watched as he untangled himself from Quatre and reached under the tree.
Withdrawing a medium sized box, Trowa handed it to Quatre without fanfare. His lover's eyes lit up as he took the precious package and carefully pealed back the paper. Inside was a mound of white tissue paper, and beyond that, something black.
Reverently, Quatre pulled the black leather book with gold paper edging from its holdings and turned it over. He gasped at the gold script on the cover.
A test forever left unspoken,
A promise for eternity,
A love as pure as crystal stars
A book to record your family.
Trowa
He heard the tears in Quatre's voice as his blond lover tried to wipe them away from his cheeks. "It's beautiful, Trowa, simply beautiful. Thank you so much, I'll treasure it always."
"I know you haven't written in your journal since I read them, and I thought it was time you had a new one; a new one for the new you. It only seemed right."
"It is, and I love it. Thank you." Quatre leaned up and kissed, him and in that kiss was a thousand thank you, for the gift, and for the understanding that went with it.
Laughing, Quatre hugged the journal to his chest before smiling coyly at him. "Well, I guess you somehow managed to be the last person to get a gift, though how you did that I have no idea. And after such a wonderful one from you, I'm glad I got you what I did." Quatre was trying to build up the momentum and he smiled at his lover's ploy.
"Let me guess, cup and brush set?" They laughed as the others in the room looked at them perplexed, save for Shingam who smiled brightly.
"No, not quite." In a subtle movement, Quatre reached into the breast pocket of his informal suit coat and pulled out an envelope. Handing it to Trowa, he prompted, "Open it carefully, you don't want to rip what's inside."
Nodding, Trowa slid his finger under the glued flap and carefully tore away the seam of the envelope. Inside was a crisp piece of stock paper. He glanced at Quatre long enough to smile at the anticipation on his lover's face. Quatre was always like that, he'd much rather give a gift than receive one.
Unfolding the paper, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye before he got a chance to read the document. Killashandra had risen and moved from Shingam's lap to Quatre's, now the two members of his family watched him as he again looked down at the paper in his hand.
At first he didn't recognize what it was, having never really seen one before. He stared at it until the letters began to form words, and the words sentences, and the sentences paragraphs that made sense to him. It was a deed, and not just any deed.
"Is-is this what I think it is? Quatre?" Surprised and stunned, Trowa looked up at his lover to witness the bright eyes the held a hint of tears as Quatre simply nodded his head. "But, but this is.it's for The Crystal. Quatre.I-I can't accept this." He tried to push the paper away from him, tried to hand this precious and important gift back to it's rightful owner, but Quatre wouldn't accept it.
"Of course you can. Trowa, if the past year has taught me anything, it's taught me that family is the most important thing in the world. And you are my family Trowa, you and Killa, you're all the family I'll ever need.
"But a family needs a home, and The Crystal was the only place you and I have ever been that you said felt like home. It was my mother's, and though I didn't know her, I know she'd want it to stay in my family, our family. So I'm giving it to you as it was given to me, a present from the heart, and a place for our family to call home."
He didn't know what to say, and even if he did, he wouldn't have been able too. Selfless and wonderful, kind and brave, these were the things that made up Quatre, that made up his lover, partner, and father of his child. The estate was amazing, truly the most beautiful place he'd ever seen, but the true gift came from Quatre's words, from his faith in their family. In one piece of paper, Quatre had given him all the reassurance he'd ever need; this was truly his family.
Smiling, he nodded and pulled Quatre and Killashandra to him. Wrapping them tightly in his arms, he kissed them both before burying his face in their hair. And though he'd known Quatre would always be his family, at this very second, resting on a blanket next to a brightly lit Christmas tree, Trowa felt for the first time, what it meant to hold his family, his lover and his daughter, and he swore to whatever god might be listening, he'd never let either one of them go.
"Hhhheeeeerrrrrrroooooo, I want a house too!"
"No."
* * *
Later that night, the former pilots sat happily around the couches that only hours before they'd sullenly awaited their trials. Killashandra and Shingam played in the space that was cleared by moving the coffee table. While Shingam strategically struggled to arrange his new building blocks into a design that wouldn't fall over when Star whipped her tail around, Killa lay quietly on her side on the floor, her old teddy bear and her new camel tucked close to her body as she scratched Star behind her ears.
It was getting late, and by all accounts they were all exhausted. At Shingam's unannounced yawn, Heero made the decision that it was time to go. Moving from the couch to the floor beside his son, Heero awkwardly ruffled Shingam's hair. "I think it's about time for Daddy and I to put you to bed, it's getting late." Smiling, Shingam nodded and began to put his blocks back into their box, Heero helped him as Killashandra sat up.
It was a little odd to watch Heero interact with his son. Where once the stoic pilot of Wing Zero was hard and callous, he was now strangely fatherly; and though fatherhood was not going to come easily to him, Heero showed a vast amount of potential and desire in his simple way with Shingam.
Duo stood then and turned to Quatre. "I haven't decided if this is the worst Christmas ever or the best. I can just hear Sister Helen reminding me of the miracles of Christmas and the strangely wonderful things that happen on the day of the Lord's birth. But somehow, I don't think she had this Christmas in mind."
Trowa watched Quatre laugh as he helped Duo carry the glasses into the kitchenette. Quatre was more relaxed now. As the day had progressed, and Killa had become more active, Quatre too seemed to gain in spirits. To be honest he had as well. Killa seemed to thrive when Shingam was around, and to see her as happy as she could be, it was no wonder both he and Quatre fluxed around her moods.
Blocks were finally put away and lifted into Heero's grip, when Shingam raced to Killa and hauled her to her feet. "Come on Killa, the faster we go to bed, the faster we can get up and play with our new toys! They're not training devices, but they're still.fun, yes fun. I like my blocks. I know you like your new camel too. No, not as much as Teddy, but that's ok, Quatre said he didn't mind. Come on, let's go to bed. I bet Duo will read us another story if we hurry."
As a group they held their breaths in indecision and fear. Shingam was dragging Killa towards the room they'd been sharing since they'd arrived, and Trowa watched Heero's shoulders slump a little at the realization that Shingam still thought he'd be staying with himself and Quatre. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Duo tense, but it was Quatre's slip through the link that caught his attention the most. Some barely held in check part of Quatre jumped for joy that Shingam still thought of their home as his own. It was the now silenced part of him that still desperately wanted both children as his own, and Trowa ached to know that Quatre would have to be disappointed.
But surprisingly, it was Quatre that moved to set things right.
"Shingam, just a second." All eyes turned to Quatre as he moved to intercept the two little ones on their way to the bedroom. Dropping to his knees he tugged both children closer to him as he gazed at them both. "Shingam, you remember this morning, when Duo and Heero told you that you were going to live with them from now on. Well, when you live with your parents, you have to actually live with them, that means going to their house to sleep at night. Do you understand?" Quatre's voice was calming and soothing as he softly stroked Shingam's hair. It took Trowa a moment to realize Quatre was carefully planting suggestions in Shingam's mind; Trowa had the foresight to realize that Quatre wouldn't be able to do that unless Killashandra agreed with his actions.
"But then Killa will have to sleep all alone. We always sleep together, she's my responsibility." There was an unhappy crease along Shingam's brow, and Quatre gently soothed it with his fingertips.
"I know, Shingam. But Killa has a family now too, she has Trowa and I to look after her now and she's our responsibility too. You said so yourself. But Shingam, it's a parent's responsibility to take care of their children, and that means it's Duo and Heero's responsibility to take care of you. That means you have to go home with them so they can watch out for you and take care of you, and love you, just like Trowa and I will with Killa."
"But.but what if Killa needs me?" His voice was desperate, as he clung to the only thing he really knew, caring for Killa. Duo answered before Quatre could.
Kneeling down to his son's level, Duo spoke. "Well, if Killa calls you, then of course you'll have to come and make sure she's ok. Your dad and I, and even Quatre and Trowa would never think of keeping you away from Killa if she needed you, right Quatre?'
"Right! If Killa calls for you then all you have to do is go right to our door and enter our pass code. If you're with Killa in the morning, Trowa and I and you're dads will just assume that Killa called you. Don't worry, Shingam, it's going to be alright."
Hesitantly, Shingam nodded his head and Trowa felt Quatre's mental cheer through the link that the suggestion had caught.
Shingam turned to Killa. "If you need me, I'm going to sleep at Duo and Heero's apartment. All you have to do is call for me, and I'll come get you. You call for me if you need me for anything! Quatre's right, you're his and Trowa's responsibility now too, and they can take care of you. But if you need me, you call and I'll come, ok?" He nodded once at Killa's mental affirmation. "Good. Don't be scared. You hold Teddy and Camel really close and you'll be just fine. And you tell Quatre or Trowa if you're too cold, they won't let you get cold at night." Silently their dialogue continued for a moment before Shingam turned to Duo and nodded weakly. "Ok, I guess we can go. But I can see Killa first thing in the morning, right?"
"Sure thing! We'll come over and bring breakfast, I bet Quatre and Trowa would appreciate that. We might even be able to con your dad into making Quatre some good tea instead of that English crap he usually drinks."
"Hey! That English crap-I mean tea-is good! Besides, I'm so addicted to the caffeine I don't dare switch brands." They laughed at the tension's release.
Shingam insisted on accompanying them in tucking Killa in, and Duo decided that reading them their nightly story together wouldn't hurt. Quatre kissed Shingam good night at the door, and he had to hold Quatre tightly as Duo and Heero carried their son away from himself and Quatre.
"I-I didn't think it'd be so hard, Trowa. I thought.I'd handle it better."
Gently he kissed Quatre's temple. "You and I both had our hopes on two children and it's hard to think that Shingam won't be with us from now on."
"Do-do you think I'm being selfish?"
Softly he ran his fingers through Quatre's hair. "Never. I've never met anyone as selfless as you are. But I understand, it's like losing him, like losing our son before he was ever ours. But we're not losing him, Quatre. He's right down the hall, and he'll always be right down the hall. And after learning about Shingam and Killashandra's reproduction construction, he'll always be a part of our family."
Quatre nodded. "I know. It's just.hard, that's all."
"I know."
Turning back from the door, they returned to Killa's room. The small child looked even smaller in the huge queen sized bed all by herself. She was curled onto her side, one teddy bear and one camel tucked under her arm and against her body. Her eyes were wide as the door opened and they stepped in, wide, and perhaps a little frightened.
As Trowa knew he would, Quatre noticed.
"Don't worry, Killa. You'll be asleep before you know it, and then Shingam will come over and the two of you can play all day long. I know this has to be very strange for you, so much has happened in the last three weeks, but everything is going to be ok. Your Papa and I aren't going to let anything bad ever happen to you again, and we're going to love you so much, for the rest of your life. You'll have everything you need, and probably everything you want too, though I'll try my best not to spoil you too much." Quatre turned to him then, and together they shared a smile. "You're Papa and I have so much to show you and teach you. You know Papa used to work as a clown at the circus, and you've seen some of his tricks. Well, I bet he'll show you some you can try when you get a little older, he'll teach you all kinds of things, all kinds. And I'll teach you things too. Fun things like music and art, and when you're older, I'll teach you about ROE, and balancing cash flows with worker output. But I'll only show you, Killa, I won't force you. Your Papa and I will try our best to encourage you in everything you do, everything! I promise! That's my promise to you, we'll never, ever condemn you, never, ever."
Carefully, he wrapped his arm about Quatre's shoulders and sighed when the muscles in Quatre's back relaxed a little.
"Killashandra," the child's eyes focused on him. "Your Father and I love you very much, and we'll do everything in our power to be the best fathers we can for you. We might not always succeed, and we're bound to make mistakes, but we'll always put you first, always. You're our miracle, just like Shingam is Duo and Heero's miracle. No matter what happens, we'll always love you, always."
Quatre nodded his agreement, and then bent down and kissed their daughter. "Now you sleep tight, and remember, if you need us, we'll be in our room, you know where that is. All you have to do is walk up to the door, and it'll open. If you need anything, even if you're just lonely without Shingam with you, all you have to do is come to us, ok?" Killa didn't answer, but there seemed to be a sense of relief in her demeanor, or maybe it was a trick of the light.
"Good night, Little Angel. Father and I will see you in the morning."
"Good night, Sweetheart."
And with tears in their eyes they left the room, both somber at leaving Killashandra alone.
"Trowa, do you think maybe she shouldn't sleep alone tonight? I mean after everything she's been through, she might get scared, or have a nightmare, or forget where she is, or ev-"
Soundly, he kissed Quatre. When the kiss ended, he pulled back and smiled reassuringly. "You told her where to go if she felt scared or needed anything, and she's still connected to Shingam even if he isn't in the same room, she'll be fine."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
"Is that your maternal instinct telling you this, or just your gut, because your gut instincts aren't all that good if you'll recall."
"Actually it's my paternal instinct, which I have a feeling will be much more accurate than my gut one."
"How's that, this instinct is on the outside of your body?"
"Something like that."
They laughed softly until they heard Star's bell chiming as she raced across the room from the kitchenette. Stopping at the door, she meowed for a moment until the sensor caught her presence and opened for her. As they watched, one little bundle of fur jumped onto the bed and settled squarely against Killa's chest. And as the door closed behind Star, they saw Killa snake her hand out from under the covers to gently pet the fluffy kitten.
Quatre's voice sounded as stunned as he felt. "Imagine that."
"We've be one-upped by our kitten."
"Your kitten."
Trowa shook his head as Quatre smiled.
"Let's go to bed, it's been a long, long, long day."
* * *
At the swooshing sound, Trowa opened his eyes instantly. Quatre rested against his chest, his lover's hand atop his stomach. Glancing at the clock he nearly groaned as the display read three, thirty-seven. He wasn't sure what the sound had been, but never the less, he already had his hand on the throwing knife he kept behind the headboard.
Another sound, the tiny tinkling of a bell mingled with the louder sound of shuffling feet had him releasing the knife's handle and looking over the side of the bed. There, he came face to face with a pair of ethereal crystal green eyes.
He smiled before petting her hair as he worked his other arm from around Quatre's still sleeping form. Careful to disturb Quatre as little as possible, Trowa reached over the side of the bed and lifted his daughter onto the mattress.
She knelt there for a moment, wide eyes taking in Quatre, and wandering up to watch him as he watched her. She seemed to be considering something, analyzing something Trowa didn't understand. Then in a note of soft chimes, Star jumped onto the bed and walked between himself and Killa to snuggle atop his lower stomach. He nearly laughed as Quatre, disturbed by Star's bell, mumbled. "Stupid cat."
Then Killa was shifting, laying down with him as Quatre was across from her, her tiny head resting in the crook of his arm and chest as he pulled the covers around her and held her close.
One small hand reached out and glided over Star's settled form before moving up his stomach to rest over Quatre's warm hand. After a moment, when Trowa began to think she'd settled in herself, she moved her hand up to Quatre's face and softly touched his cheek. Quatre mumbled again, and snuggled more firmly into him as Killa continued to lightly run her fingertips across his cheek and nose, to barely touch his lips before doing it again. Finally, she rested her palm against his temple and then sighed.
It was like nothing Trowa had ever seen before. In that one instant, in those two minutes of midnight exploration, he knew Killa had made a decision. As she snuggled into him for the last time, her hand still resting on Quatre's temple, Trowa imagined he understood the decision she'd just come too. Quatre was her father, and he was her papa, they could be trusted.
Minutes later he heard the deep breathing of his entire family as they all slept on his and Quatre's metal and dark cherry wood canopy bed. He watched the burgundy satin sheets and comforter rise and fall with their breaths, and he felt such peace and happiness that it threatened to overwhelm him. Instead he closed his eyes to a sight he never thought he'd see or deserved, that of his family, peacefully sleeping the night away.
"Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas!"
"SANTA!"
They were in the dinning room, warm blankets from family couches adorned the ground in a litany of colors to match those that danced across the brightly lit tree. The single couch was occupied by Sally, Wufei, Marieminna on her mom's lap, and Corinne on the arm; while around them sat the others. Heero held an elated Shingam as the boy's eyes widened in wonder and disbelief of the golly fat man before him. Duo's face was just as wonder-filled though his gaze was taking in the sight of his son's first Christmas. On a blanket close by, Quatre sat with Killashandra resting in his lap. Unlike two days before, Killa's eyes held less expression than her face, but still, there was a flicker of understanding and awe in her posture; at least enough to set Trowa to smiling.
There was something mystical about the tiny child Quatre held in his arms. She seemed so small and helpless, yet they knew that she had already killed in her young life-killed and been killed. Trowa was stunned as the little girl in question turned to look at him, their eyes locking into place with one another.
Since using the link the night before, when he'd witnessed how Quatre saw the likeness between himself and their daughter, he too could see the similarities. Her eyes, it was all in her eyes; all her pain and sorrow, all her warmth and happiness, every emotion she possessed was in her eyes, and yet her eyes were silent. So much like his own, so much like the eyes that had reflected back at him blankly from his cockpit monitor, or even the cracked mirror he'd used after he'd been rescued from space. Empty, and yet there was life behind them, he knew, he remembered, hoping with all of his heart, that one day, someone would see that his own eyes were not as lifeless as they appeared.
He smiled wider and lifted his hand to give her a tickle under her chin. Unlike most children she didn't giggle-he remembered he hadn't giggled either-instead she leaned into the touch, craving more contact, begging for physical touch. He'd been the same way. Words made little sense to him growing up. Words alone were pieces of sound that meant nothing. Touch was something. Hard slaps across the face where for rage, ones against his back were compliments, ones across his ass were promises of something he didn't want to think about. Touch drove him, and when he'd first started his relationship with Quatre, touch was all he'd understood.
Quatre had been so gentle with him, no one before had ever been so gentle. When Quatre touched him, Trowa knew, knew on a level of understand he couldn't comprehend, that Quatre wasn't going to hurt him, that Quatre loved him. His gentle lover's touch was soothing and calming, always full of patience and understanding. If he could have remembered his mother, he was sure that she would have touched him like Quatre had in those early months. Caresses so full of love that they seemed to overshadow all other touches that came before it. Catherine had been the first to touch him with pure kindness, but he'd known he was in love with Quatre the day the small blond had snuck up on him, hugged him from behind, and he hadn't flinched away. The day he knew Quatre couldn't and wouldn't hurt him was the day he knew he'd spend the rest of his life loving him.
Over the top of Killa's head, Quatre smiled at him. The two shared a knowing look. Quatre would always understand him, always. All Quatre had ever had to do was look at him to know what he was thinking or how to help him. Trowa suppressed a grimace at how much Quatre had had to sacrifice to do that for him, to be the constant leader for him. But that was behind them, Quatre was gentle and kind, sometimes too, and Trowa wasn't going to let him fall back into old patterns just because he was having a hard time adapting to his new role as leader. Quatre hadn't been healthy all that long, and now, with so many things happening all at once, it was more important than ever for him to protect Quatre.
His Quatre.
The blond man smiled before twisting Killa around to face the golly man in red and white.
"Look, Killa, that's Santa Claus, can you wave at him? Hm? Can you wave?" And like Trowa had seen other father's do over the years, Quatre lifted Killashandra's limp hand and waved it back and forth. Trowa couldn't help the laugh that broke from him as he watched Quatre. "Are you laughing at me, Trowa? Killa," he looked down at the little girl who was now watching the two of them closely. "You're Papa is laughing at me, do you hear him, he's laughing! Well, we'll see if he gets any good presents from Santa Claus, won't we?" He kissed her then, rapid kisses that would have caused a bawling child to giggle, but simply caused Killashandra to turn away.
He saw it then, that quick fad of sparkle from Quatre's eyes, and he watched sadly as Quatre turned to see Duo teasing Shingam and the boy responding in kind.
Trowa wasn't about to complain; how could he? Before him was the most beautiful child he'd ever seen, his child. Quatre's platinum blond hair adorned her head, in curly waves that reminded him of Catherine's equally as curly hair. Green eyes that saw but reflected nothing, eyes that he felt drawn too against his will. She was small and thin, too thin, and part of that reminded him of himself, tried, cold and hungry at her age, and the rest reminded him of Quatre, who's physical appearance was always that of a person who'd had too little to eat. Everything about her was a combination of the two of them, as if those scientists had simply drawn a line down his and Quatre's centers and pasted them together, to create this gorgeous child before them.
But she was quiet, too quiet, and terribly disturbed. Unlike most children she was four years old, and didn't speak, not a single word, and on the occasions when her eyes widened, it was a day for celebration. He and Quatre would laugh and cheer when something caught her attention and caused her to focus on the real world instead of the one she resided in most of the time. She wasn't normal, nothing about her was, and to a certain extent, it pained him to no end.
He watched Quatre try to shrug it off. His lover had been ready, completely prepared, to welcome both Shingam and Killashandra into their home. But Shingam couldn't stay with them, and with his departure left the vital link to Killashandra. How would they communicate with her? How would they know what she liked and disliked without Shingam there to guide them through her thoughts? It was hard to know, hard to watch Duo and Heero laugh with their new son, and see Quatre suffer silently through his disappointment.
He shifted, scooting closer to Quatre so that as they sat on the floor, he wrapped one leg behind and around his partner and the other one around his front Indian style posture. His long arms snaked around his partner and his daughter, pulling them in close and tucking two blond heads beneath his chin. Startled, Quatre looked up at him, a questioning look on his face.
"You looked like you could use a hug."
Slightly ashamed at being caught, Quatre ducked his head. "That obvious, hu?"
"Only to me, Luv, only to me." But Quatre said nothing, and as the presents began their way around the room, and Shingam's laugher grew louder and Killa's silence more deafening, Quatre snuggled closer into him, silent himself as he struggled with what couldn't be.
He tried his best to comfort Quatre, tried to do it quietly so that no one would notice; but some people were paid to notice.
"Quatre?" He and Quatre looked up in time to see Corinne settling across from them on the blanket, Marieminna squealing in joy behind her. "How are you doing?"
He didn't have to be empathic to sense it, Quatre's withdraw and the raising of his shields to protect his inner thoughts from observation. "As well as can be expected, it's a bit overwhelming."
"I'm sure it is. It's not everyday you find out you're a father."
"No. No it isn't." Quatre ran his fingers over Killa's hair, a smile replacing his earlier non-expression. There was no doubt that Quatre loved his daughter, their daughter. Everything he did spoke of his love for her now. There was a lingering sadness, but not directed at Killa, she was perfect, but Trowa could sense that Quatre was blaming himself for her sad beginnings.
"Quatre, you're doing wonderfully." He smiled down at his lover, and was relieved when an answering smile fell across noble lips.
"Thank you, so are you. We're not doing too badly for forty-eight hours worth of fatherhood, are we?" He shook his head before kissing Quatre's temple. "Thanks, I really needed that."
"Thought so."
"Oh Quatre, Trowa, I love her! I love her so much! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!" Marieminna came running towards them, her new AI doll clutched tightly in her hand. Hugging them both soundly, she bent down to give Killa a kiss as well. "I heard that you're Quatre and Trowa's daughter now Killa, so my new doll was from you too. Thank you very much! You can come over and play with her whenever you want!"
For a few minutes Marieminna talked to Killa, unmindful of her lack of responses. Finally the red haired girl hugged his family one more time and then returned to her mother's side. Duo's voice carried over the joy in the room.
"Marieminna, you better never put that doll down for all the trouble Quatre when through to get it for you. You wouldn't believe the story if I told you!" Marieminna's answering giggle and promise prompted another round of gifts.
From them had been a gift of a large decorative vase to Lady Une who thanked them kindly for it. To Sally and Wufei had been an indoor crystal water fountain that sounded in beautiful tones as the water cascaded over the crystals. Wufei was in better spirits, as was his fiancée, and they both accepted the gift as they tried to decide where to put it. Duo and Heero had been given the pieces for a stain glass window inlay for their living room window seat. Again thanks were given and then Corinne opened her tiny thin box to reveal a month long all expense paid vacation to Paris, France. Modestly she tried to give it back, but Quatre would hear nothing of it, stating in no uncertain terms that she deserved it for putting up with him for the past two months; they all laughed when Corinne agreed whole-heartedly.
For them, was a set of ancient Chinese decorative scrolls from Wufei and Sally, a set of wall sconces from Lady Une and Marieminna, an aquarium set with a fifty gallon tank complete with a voucher for fish from Duo and Heero, and a beautiful hand made quilt from Corinne. Thanks and praises were handed out as all the families talked amongst themselves and the children continued to open one brightly wrapped present after another.
He unwrapped Killa's presents for her, while Quatre helped her to figure out what to do with them. Ironically, she wasn't so un-normal though, as she appeared more fascinated with the wrapping paper, ribbons and bows, and boxes than the actual presents inside. He and Quatre laughed as they watched Killa stare at a piece of gold wrapping paper, watching her reflection in the foil.
When the children's presents were all unwrapped, the partners exchanged gifts.
Wufei gifted Sally with a pair of diamond earrings, he said, to match the new ring on her finger. His smile grew even wider however, when he presented her with six months worth of once a week spa treatments; to help with her pregnancy. She squealed like a child and hugged him hard for a long time before giving him a specially designed set of warm up katana's and a tee-shirt that read, "Daddy in the Making." And Wufei laughed, kissing Sally for all she was worth.
Next came Duo and Heero. An entire set of European fairytales was awarded to Heero for allowing Duo to live one more year, while a whispered gift left Heero nearly blushing. Duo received a tiny box that held a single key in it. The key Heero said was to the new motorcycle Duo had been after him to get. Duo whooped it up and proclaimed loudly upon returning from the garage that the cycle was amazing, and in black with hooker red finishing.
Finally it was his turn. Killa sat quietly with Shingam and Marieminna in front of the tree; Marieminna brushing her new doll's hair, while Shingam sat with Killa between his legs, his arms wrapped about her as she held a newly acquired stuffed camel courtesy of Quatre. The children and the room watched as he untangled himself from Quatre and reached under the tree.
Withdrawing a medium sized box, Trowa handed it to Quatre without fanfare. His lover's eyes lit up as he took the precious package and carefully pealed back the paper. Inside was a mound of white tissue paper, and beyond that, something black.
Reverently, Quatre pulled the black leather book with gold paper edging from its holdings and turned it over. He gasped at the gold script on the cover.
A test forever left unspoken,
A promise for eternity,
A love as pure as crystal stars
A book to record your family.
Trowa
He heard the tears in Quatre's voice as his blond lover tried to wipe them away from his cheeks. "It's beautiful, Trowa, simply beautiful. Thank you so much, I'll treasure it always."
"I know you haven't written in your journal since I read them, and I thought it was time you had a new one; a new one for the new you. It only seemed right."
"It is, and I love it. Thank you." Quatre leaned up and kissed, him and in that kiss was a thousand thank you, for the gift, and for the understanding that went with it.
Laughing, Quatre hugged the journal to his chest before smiling coyly at him. "Well, I guess you somehow managed to be the last person to get a gift, though how you did that I have no idea. And after such a wonderful one from you, I'm glad I got you what I did." Quatre was trying to build up the momentum and he smiled at his lover's ploy.
"Let me guess, cup and brush set?" They laughed as the others in the room looked at them perplexed, save for Shingam who smiled brightly.
"No, not quite." In a subtle movement, Quatre reached into the breast pocket of his informal suit coat and pulled out an envelope. Handing it to Trowa, he prompted, "Open it carefully, you don't want to rip what's inside."
Nodding, Trowa slid his finger under the glued flap and carefully tore away the seam of the envelope. Inside was a crisp piece of stock paper. He glanced at Quatre long enough to smile at the anticipation on his lover's face. Quatre was always like that, he'd much rather give a gift than receive one.
Unfolding the paper, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye before he got a chance to read the document. Killashandra had risen and moved from Shingam's lap to Quatre's, now the two members of his family watched him as he again looked down at the paper in his hand.
At first he didn't recognize what it was, having never really seen one before. He stared at it until the letters began to form words, and the words sentences, and the sentences paragraphs that made sense to him. It was a deed, and not just any deed.
"Is-is this what I think it is? Quatre?" Surprised and stunned, Trowa looked up at his lover to witness the bright eyes the held a hint of tears as Quatre simply nodded his head. "But, but this is.it's for The Crystal. Quatre.I-I can't accept this." He tried to push the paper away from him, tried to hand this precious and important gift back to it's rightful owner, but Quatre wouldn't accept it.
"Of course you can. Trowa, if the past year has taught me anything, it's taught me that family is the most important thing in the world. And you are my family Trowa, you and Killa, you're all the family I'll ever need.
"But a family needs a home, and The Crystal was the only place you and I have ever been that you said felt like home. It was my mother's, and though I didn't know her, I know she'd want it to stay in my family, our family. So I'm giving it to you as it was given to me, a present from the heart, and a place for our family to call home."
He didn't know what to say, and even if he did, he wouldn't have been able too. Selfless and wonderful, kind and brave, these were the things that made up Quatre, that made up his lover, partner, and father of his child. The estate was amazing, truly the most beautiful place he'd ever seen, but the true gift came from Quatre's words, from his faith in their family. In one piece of paper, Quatre had given him all the reassurance he'd ever need; this was truly his family.
Smiling, he nodded and pulled Quatre and Killashandra to him. Wrapping them tightly in his arms, he kissed them both before burying his face in their hair. And though he'd known Quatre would always be his family, at this very second, resting on a blanket next to a brightly lit Christmas tree, Trowa felt for the first time, what it meant to hold his family, his lover and his daughter, and he swore to whatever god might be listening, he'd never let either one of them go.
"Hhhheeeeerrrrrrroooooo, I want a house too!"
"No."
* * *
Later that night, the former pilots sat happily around the couches that only hours before they'd sullenly awaited their trials. Killashandra and Shingam played in the space that was cleared by moving the coffee table. While Shingam strategically struggled to arrange his new building blocks into a design that wouldn't fall over when Star whipped her tail around, Killa lay quietly on her side on the floor, her old teddy bear and her new camel tucked close to her body as she scratched Star behind her ears.
It was getting late, and by all accounts they were all exhausted. At Shingam's unannounced yawn, Heero made the decision that it was time to go. Moving from the couch to the floor beside his son, Heero awkwardly ruffled Shingam's hair. "I think it's about time for Daddy and I to put you to bed, it's getting late." Smiling, Shingam nodded and began to put his blocks back into their box, Heero helped him as Killashandra sat up.
It was a little odd to watch Heero interact with his son. Where once the stoic pilot of Wing Zero was hard and callous, he was now strangely fatherly; and though fatherhood was not going to come easily to him, Heero showed a vast amount of potential and desire in his simple way with Shingam.
Duo stood then and turned to Quatre. "I haven't decided if this is the worst Christmas ever or the best. I can just hear Sister Helen reminding me of the miracles of Christmas and the strangely wonderful things that happen on the day of the Lord's birth. But somehow, I don't think she had this Christmas in mind."
Trowa watched Quatre laugh as he helped Duo carry the glasses into the kitchenette. Quatre was more relaxed now. As the day had progressed, and Killa had become more active, Quatre too seemed to gain in spirits. To be honest he had as well. Killa seemed to thrive when Shingam was around, and to see her as happy as she could be, it was no wonder both he and Quatre fluxed around her moods.
Blocks were finally put away and lifted into Heero's grip, when Shingam raced to Killa and hauled her to her feet. "Come on Killa, the faster we go to bed, the faster we can get up and play with our new toys! They're not training devices, but they're still.fun, yes fun. I like my blocks. I know you like your new camel too. No, not as much as Teddy, but that's ok, Quatre said he didn't mind. Come on, let's go to bed. I bet Duo will read us another story if we hurry."
As a group they held their breaths in indecision and fear. Shingam was dragging Killa towards the room they'd been sharing since they'd arrived, and Trowa watched Heero's shoulders slump a little at the realization that Shingam still thought he'd be staying with himself and Quatre. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Duo tense, but it was Quatre's slip through the link that caught his attention the most. Some barely held in check part of Quatre jumped for joy that Shingam still thought of their home as his own. It was the now silenced part of him that still desperately wanted both children as his own, and Trowa ached to know that Quatre would have to be disappointed.
But surprisingly, it was Quatre that moved to set things right.
"Shingam, just a second." All eyes turned to Quatre as he moved to intercept the two little ones on their way to the bedroom. Dropping to his knees he tugged both children closer to him as he gazed at them both. "Shingam, you remember this morning, when Duo and Heero told you that you were going to live with them from now on. Well, when you live with your parents, you have to actually live with them, that means going to their house to sleep at night. Do you understand?" Quatre's voice was calming and soothing as he softly stroked Shingam's hair. It took Trowa a moment to realize Quatre was carefully planting suggestions in Shingam's mind; Trowa had the foresight to realize that Quatre wouldn't be able to do that unless Killashandra agreed with his actions.
"But then Killa will have to sleep all alone. We always sleep together, she's my responsibility." There was an unhappy crease along Shingam's brow, and Quatre gently soothed it with his fingertips.
"I know, Shingam. But Killa has a family now too, she has Trowa and I to look after her now and she's our responsibility too. You said so yourself. But Shingam, it's a parent's responsibility to take care of their children, and that means it's Duo and Heero's responsibility to take care of you. That means you have to go home with them so they can watch out for you and take care of you, and love you, just like Trowa and I will with Killa."
"But.but what if Killa needs me?" His voice was desperate, as he clung to the only thing he really knew, caring for Killa. Duo answered before Quatre could.
Kneeling down to his son's level, Duo spoke. "Well, if Killa calls you, then of course you'll have to come and make sure she's ok. Your dad and I, and even Quatre and Trowa would never think of keeping you away from Killa if she needed you, right Quatre?'
"Right! If Killa calls for you then all you have to do is go right to our door and enter our pass code. If you're with Killa in the morning, Trowa and I and you're dads will just assume that Killa called you. Don't worry, Shingam, it's going to be alright."
Hesitantly, Shingam nodded his head and Trowa felt Quatre's mental cheer through the link that the suggestion had caught.
Shingam turned to Killa. "If you need me, I'm going to sleep at Duo and Heero's apartment. All you have to do is call for me, and I'll come get you. You call for me if you need me for anything! Quatre's right, you're his and Trowa's responsibility now too, and they can take care of you. But if you need me, you call and I'll come, ok?" He nodded once at Killa's mental affirmation. "Good. Don't be scared. You hold Teddy and Camel really close and you'll be just fine. And you tell Quatre or Trowa if you're too cold, they won't let you get cold at night." Silently their dialogue continued for a moment before Shingam turned to Duo and nodded weakly. "Ok, I guess we can go. But I can see Killa first thing in the morning, right?"
"Sure thing! We'll come over and bring breakfast, I bet Quatre and Trowa would appreciate that. We might even be able to con your dad into making Quatre some good tea instead of that English crap he usually drinks."
"Hey! That English crap-I mean tea-is good! Besides, I'm so addicted to the caffeine I don't dare switch brands." They laughed at the tension's release.
Shingam insisted on accompanying them in tucking Killa in, and Duo decided that reading them their nightly story together wouldn't hurt. Quatre kissed Shingam good night at the door, and he had to hold Quatre tightly as Duo and Heero carried their son away from himself and Quatre.
"I-I didn't think it'd be so hard, Trowa. I thought.I'd handle it better."
Gently he kissed Quatre's temple. "You and I both had our hopes on two children and it's hard to think that Shingam won't be with us from now on."
"Do-do you think I'm being selfish?"
Softly he ran his fingers through Quatre's hair. "Never. I've never met anyone as selfless as you are. But I understand, it's like losing him, like losing our son before he was ever ours. But we're not losing him, Quatre. He's right down the hall, and he'll always be right down the hall. And after learning about Shingam and Killashandra's reproduction construction, he'll always be a part of our family."
Quatre nodded. "I know. It's just.hard, that's all."
"I know."
Turning back from the door, they returned to Killa's room. The small child looked even smaller in the huge queen sized bed all by herself. She was curled onto her side, one teddy bear and one camel tucked under her arm and against her body. Her eyes were wide as the door opened and they stepped in, wide, and perhaps a little frightened.
As Trowa knew he would, Quatre noticed.
"Don't worry, Killa. You'll be asleep before you know it, and then Shingam will come over and the two of you can play all day long. I know this has to be very strange for you, so much has happened in the last three weeks, but everything is going to be ok. Your Papa and I aren't going to let anything bad ever happen to you again, and we're going to love you so much, for the rest of your life. You'll have everything you need, and probably everything you want too, though I'll try my best not to spoil you too much." Quatre turned to him then, and together they shared a smile. "You're Papa and I have so much to show you and teach you. You know Papa used to work as a clown at the circus, and you've seen some of his tricks. Well, I bet he'll show you some you can try when you get a little older, he'll teach you all kinds of things, all kinds. And I'll teach you things too. Fun things like music and art, and when you're older, I'll teach you about ROE, and balancing cash flows with worker output. But I'll only show you, Killa, I won't force you. Your Papa and I will try our best to encourage you in everything you do, everything! I promise! That's my promise to you, we'll never, ever condemn you, never, ever."
Carefully, he wrapped his arm about Quatre's shoulders and sighed when the muscles in Quatre's back relaxed a little.
"Killashandra," the child's eyes focused on him. "Your Father and I love you very much, and we'll do everything in our power to be the best fathers we can for you. We might not always succeed, and we're bound to make mistakes, but we'll always put you first, always. You're our miracle, just like Shingam is Duo and Heero's miracle. No matter what happens, we'll always love you, always."
Quatre nodded his agreement, and then bent down and kissed their daughter. "Now you sleep tight, and remember, if you need us, we'll be in our room, you know where that is. All you have to do is walk up to the door, and it'll open. If you need anything, even if you're just lonely without Shingam with you, all you have to do is come to us, ok?" Killa didn't answer, but there seemed to be a sense of relief in her demeanor, or maybe it was a trick of the light.
"Good night, Little Angel. Father and I will see you in the morning."
"Good night, Sweetheart."
And with tears in their eyes they left the room, both somber at leaving Killashandra alone.
"Trowa, do you think maybe she shouldn't sleep alone tonight? I mean after everything she's been through, she might get scared, or have a nightmare, or forget where she is, or ev-"
Soundly, he kissed Quatre. When the kiss ended, he pulled back and smiled reassuringly. "You told her where to go if she felt scared or needed anything, and she's still connected to Shingam even if he isn't in the same room, she'll be fine."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
"Is that your maternal instinct telling you this, or just your gut, because your gut instincts aren't all that good if you'll recall."
"Actually it's my paternal instinct, which I have a feeling will be much more accurate than my gut one."
"How's that, this instinct is on the outside of your body?"
"Something like that."
They laughed softly until they heard Star's bell chiming as she raced across the room from the kitchenette. Stopping at the door, she meowed for a moment until the sensor caught her presence and opened for her. As they watched, one little bundle of fur jumped onto the bed and settled squarely against Killa's chest. And as the door closed behind Star, they saw Killa snake her hand out from under the covers to gently pet the fluffy kitten.
Quatre's voice sounded as stunned as he felt. "Imagine that."
"We've be one-upped by our kitten."
"Your kitten."
Trowa shook his head as Quatre smiled.
"Let's go to bed, it's been a long, long, long day."
* * *
At the swooshing sound, Trowa opened his eyes instantly. Quatre rested against his chest, his lover's hand atop his stomach. Glancing at the clock he nearly groaned as the display read three, thirty-seven. He wasn't sure what the sound had been, but never the less, he already had his hand on the throwing knife he kept behind the headboard.
Another sound, the tiny tinkling of a bell mingled with the louder sound of shuffling feet had him releasing the knife's handle and looking over the side of the bed. There, he came face to face with a pair of ethereal crystal green eyes.
He smiled before petting her hair as he worked his other arm from around Quatre's still sleeping form. Careful to disturb Quatre as little as possible, Trowa reached over the side of the bed and lifted his daughter onto the mattress.
She knelt there for a moment, wide eyes taking in Quatre, and wandering up to watch him as he watched her. She seemed to be considering something, analyzing something Trowa didn't understand. Then in a note of soft chimes, Star jumped onto the bed and walked between himself and Killa to snuggle atop his lower stomach. He nearly laughed as Quatre, disturbed by Star's bell, mumbled. "Stupid cat."
Then Killa was shifting, laying down with him as Quatre was across from her, her tiny head resting in the crook of his arm and chest as he pulled the covers around her and held her close.
One small hand reached out and glided over Star's settled form before moving up his stomach to rest over Quatre's warm hand. After a moment, when Trowa began to think she'd settled in herself, she moved her hand up to Quatre's face and softly touched his cheek. Quatre mumbled again, and snuggled more firmly into him as Killa continued to lightly run her fingertips across his cheek and nose, to barely touch his lips before doing it again. Finally, she rested her palm against his temple and then sighed.
It was like nothing Trowa had ever seen before. In that one instant, in those two minutes of midnight exploration, he knew Killa had made a decision. As she snuggled into him for the last time, her hand still resting on Quatre's temple, Trowa imagined he understood the decision she'd just come too. Quatre was her father, and he was her papa, they could be trusted.
Minutes later he heard the deep breathing of his entire family as they all slept on his and Quatre's metal and dark cherry wood canopy bed. He watched the burgundy satin sheets and comforter rise and fall with their breaths, and he felt such peace and happiness that it threatened to overwhelm him. Instead he closed his eyes to a sight he never thought he'd see or deserved, that of his family, peacefully sleeping the night away.