Note from the (stressed out) author: Well, here's where it all gets super-angsty and sappy (as sappy as I can manage, anyway). I hope people haven't abandoned this fic because I haven't been updating or because NCZ isn't being broadcasted 24-7 on Cartoon Network anymore. I realized recently how much influence that channel has on people. Just remember Robotech! I think this is chapter 9. If you're still reading (and liking), thanks! R&R, please, even if you don't enjoy it..!

Disclaimer: A-ah… let me think. Oh yeah, the usual stuff. Shiro, Izumi, and Izumi's Zoid are my original creations. Everything else is credited to the creators of NCZ. Spelling/grammar errors are always careless and unintentional (and almost always present, unfortunately). Gotcha'… yeah.

Recollection

"She came in this morning. We're not sure what happened to her out there but she hasn't spoken or eaten, or done much of anything else except sit here and sweat. When the Lapin's cockpit opened, she fell out. It's a wonder that she managed to pilot it all the way back to base before collapsing and…"

Stigma Stoller listened to the ensign beside him as they stood at the doorway of Shiro's living quarters. Both were staring at the naked figurine cowering in a far corner, its bare porcelain arms over a pair of rosy legs, curled around just below the knees, complimented by streams of faded silver tumbling over the statue's shoulders and pouring over almost all of her.

"Thank you, ensign. You may go now," came Stoller's raspy voice. The soldier blinked at him as if surprised that the captain had actually spoken after regarding the situation with silence up until that moment. He stammered in compliance and left quickly, allowing the automatic door to slide shut after he'd exited the room, leaving the captain standing, silent once again as he examined the pathetic creature presented before his critical eyes, hardened by age. Those clear sapphire eyes had seen so much since the day he first joined the Backdraft Organization, including the making of both the Dreigon and Lapin Blanc. He'd been with the Backdraft for thirty-two years, not counting the three years he'd spent as a registered Zoid warrior. He told everyone that he had left because he wanted to fight the Blitz Team's Bit Cloud in a registered Zoid battle, but there was the factor of disagreeing with the organization's methods of winning. They had become such fanatics, the Committee of Seven, that they had approved of experimenting on humans to create the perfect warrior. Children. Raised to obey, to destroy. He wouldn't have any of that, so when the projects were reaching their climax, he quit. He had good reason to resent the organization for everything they did, especially the experiments. He remembered that at one point, the Backdraft became very close to abandoning the experimenting for ethical matters; they took it up again just a short time ago, intending to use the subjects as last gasps in the struggle to continue existing. It was there fault. He wanted to kill every last one of them. Shiro and her current condition were results of their warped studies, after all. Animals…

Stoller approached the woman, kneeling in front of her as a large, gloved hand lifted to cup the right side of her face by squeezing past her arm. He was met with no resistance, only cold skin. Her body temperature must have dropped over the coarse of the night. She must be ill. Stoller leaned forward, his other hand sliding up to her left shoulder to grasp it as his right pulled away from her face to hold her by the right arm. They worked together in slowly drawing the woman to Stoller so that he might be able to pick her up and carry her to bed. This time, she lashed out at him, her tight fists striking clumsily yet desperately, her legs making attempts to escape their positioning so that they might be able to aid her arms by kicking at the enemy that didn't exist here. She struck Stoller a few times, maybe even bruising him in a few places, but he held onto her, uncompromising, until her movements lagged to a gradual stop, which took quite a while, but Stoller had unlimited patience for this woman so he waited without any complaints. When all the violence had receded, he made another attempt to pull her closer, stopping again when he heard the whimpering. Shiro was whimpering. Then she was crying, with her jaw hung slack and her voice erupting in an unrestrained release of anguish and utter despair, her emerald eyes shedding a bounty of salty tears. The crying didn't show any signs of stopping, and Stoller's expression finally changed. His lips curled back to reveal loosely clenched teeth, the rigid bones of his sagging cheeks shifting as his eyes seemed to narrow, or squint, rather. Even while being a mere spectator he was in pain, and his arms, always exaggerated by their length, slid around this sobbing, porcelain mess, clutching it to a body that was so built it seemed uncomfortably hard, but it was warm, even through the thick material of his uniform, as he clutched the figurine to him, forgetting that porcelain was fragile and the force he applied in the desperate embrace might crush her. He wanted to protect her, to keep her from shattering into a billion pieces, because he knew he would never be able to put her back together.

"You're safe now, Shiro… You're safe."

Shiro! Shiro!

Shiro, where are you!

"Shiro, Shiro!"

The sun smiled upon today. Everything was perfect, and everything was always perfect. There was only ignorance here, and yet this was how things were meant to be.

"Shiro!"

Izumi fell face first against the dirt, disappearing beneath the tall grass. The sun continued to shine even as she sat up and proceeded to cry, as any child would. A small hand over her shoulder distracted her, and she turned to see another girl, only slightly older than herself. Even at such a young age, her hair was already a bleach-white, and the narrowing of her eyes along with the sharpness of her chin made her appear older than she actually was.

"What's wrong, Izumi?"

The younger child stammered, "Sh-Shiro, they're coming to take me away tomorrow… Those people are coming to take me away from here, and we won't see each other again! And we won't…!"

"Izumi, I heard Captain Stoller is coming back."

"Captain Stoller?" Izumi smiled beneath misty eyes, "Shiro, you must be so happy…"

"No. You don't understand. He's returning to work on a new project. It seems he's helping the Backdraft develop a new Zoid."

"But you can still see him. You like him a lot, don't you? You should be happy…"

Shiro sat down beside Izumi, blinking at her, "What about you? Who will you have? I'm staying, and I'll have Stoller, but who will you have to confide in?"

"Shiro…"

"Yes?"

"Don't use big words…"

Izumi looked away and began to fiddle with a loose thread on her shirt, and Shiro stared at her in a moment of surprise before bursting into laughter. The younger of the two turned to look at her again, and she watched, also surprised, but soon decided to join in, and the two were in the field, under the perfect blue sky, laughing together.

Today was perfect. Tomorrow was still far, far away.

Then, there was only you, Dreigon.

Drache Rebirth, you were mine.

"The next day, they came, and when they left, I was made to go with them. Of course, it's a lot more complicated than that… I don't want to share any more of my experiences. I'd rather forget everything that took place after that day... the tests they performed. I met Drache. They were cruel to him, too…"

The room fell silent. Not even Bit was able to find the correct response in time to answer Izumi when she'd drawn her life story to a conclusion. Bit Cloud, Brad Hunter, Jamie Hemeros, Leena Toros and her father – they were all deathly quiet as if contemplating something, allowing what they had just heard to sink into their once ignorant minds slowly. Leena, as it turned out, was the first to speak up, "Experimenting on humans… That's horrible!"

"It is. Their military was desperate, and their research department was ungodly curious… Shiro and I just happened to be there at the same time they took up the idea of artificially enhancing human subjects. We had no pasts, and we had no futures, so we were the most likely candidates," Izumi paused, "Well, you wanted to know where I came from…"

Jamie blinked up, "What about Shiro? Why is she so intent on trying to kill you now?"

"Maybe she's bitter. She's stuck with them and you're… here."

Brad opened his eyes, lifting his head to gaze at the mercenary woman, "Am I right? You mentioned that she had attempted to escape during the experiments. She ended up returning on her own because she couldn't function on the outside."

Izumi nodded, "Yes, that's how they tried to insure our cooperation. They kept us isolated so we had no idea what the outside world was like. That's how they tried to discourage us from escaping."

"You must've been pretty intimidated."
She smiled toward Jamie, "I was more than intimidated. I was terrified of everything until I learned

to block everything out. Unfortunately, it pretty much screwed me up as a person."

"Hey, you're still a regular Miss Congeniality to us."
"Ah, Bit speaks. Well, thank you, Bit Cloud…"

"Don't worry about Shiro, Izumi. The next time she comes around, we'll be ready for her. If you need our help, we're more than willing to give it, always. We don't take kindly to those who mess with members of the Blitz Team."

"I fully agree! Please, Izumi, as leader of the Blitz Team, I invite you to become a permanent member! Of course, this means we'll have two extra pilots, but hey, the more the merrier!"

"Thank you, Dr. Toros. I think I'll accept."

So this is where I belong.

I've finally found it…

It was late, and Brad Hunter found himself wide-awake as he stalked the corridors of the Toros base. He was content with the solitude provided by the night atmosphere. It was dark and cool, and Brad felt completely at peace now, his steps accompanied by the song of a lonesome cricket. He appreciated the song.

Brad stopped when he stepped into the hanger and noticed a shadow amidst the moonlight flooding into the room, reflecting off of the Zoids as they slept. The shadow belonged to Izumi, who was toiling over repairs as she had been the last time Brad visited the hanger at night. The patient was the Drache Rebirth, of course, and the enormous metal monster stood motionless as if it understood its pilot's good intentions. A massive Buster Cannon had been mounted onto the Zoid's backside, and it seemed to be handling the weight without any trouble. Izumi was perched near the base of the cannon, making some quick inspections with cursory glances of her good eye. Brad approached the pilot and Zoid, stopping at the Dreigon's right fore claw, "I remember that weapon. It was a gift to Leena, compliments of Harry Champ. None of our Zoids could handle its weight, not even my Shadow Fox. I guess now it's not a problem."

"The Dreigon also has an interchangeable weapons system, and it can carry objects up to three times heavier than itself."

"It truly is a remarkable Zoid. You must be a pretty talented pilot, having bonded with such a ferocious beast."

"Thank you."

The Dreigon craned its neck and tilted its head as it eyed Brad from where he stood, a low growl escaping its clenched teeth. Izumi glanced back at Brad before pushing herself to her feet and hopping from the Dreigon's back, landing on one knee at its feet. She grimaced.

"You always choose to repair the Dreigon on your own, and you always pick the most convenient times."

"What do you mean?"

"The last time I caught you fixing up the Dreigon, it was in the late hours of the night, and you were injured then, too. I don't think I'll ever understand you."

Brad stepped toward Izumi, extending a hand as he offered to help her to her feet. She accepted it by reaching up and clamping her fingers around his palm, "Thanks."

As Izumi began pulling herself up, Brad stumbled forward, and the woman's quick reflexes prompted her to reach around his chest in an attempt to catch him. His weight sent them both to the floor, and they found themselves in the same awkward position as they had that other night. They stared at each other for a long time, neither deciding to move as their breathing slowed and they grew more relaxed. Brad closed his eyes as he chuckled, "You think Bit is gonna walk in any time now?"

"Maybe."

The two were quiet once more as they continued to lay in their odd positioning, Izumi now unbothered by Brad's weight, and Brad undaunted by the slow heaving of Izumi's chest, feeling hers pressing against his ever so often. Now, he could only see her face, and the calm expression eased his own worries. He didn't open his eyes again as he lowered his head until his lips were beside her ear, and he could feel her taking one deep breath before letting it out in a heavy sigh. Everything was so perfect now. It probably wasn't anything like the day Izumi remembered, but to Brad, this was perfection. This woman…

"What about Naomi?"

Surprisingly enough, the name Izumi mentioned didn't come down like a load of bricks over his head. Instead, he found himself regarding it with a steady state of mind, turning the name over and over in his head. Even then, he could see only Izumi's face, and he found that the name "Naomi" didn't have the same effect as it once had, as it had had before the name "Izumi" developed a sense of meaning to him.

"I'll tell her in the morning…"

And he lifted his head as he pushed himself off of her, pausing as his lips hovered over her cheek so he could plant a soft, lingering kiss over the cool flesh. At this contact, he suddenly remembered the night and how dark it was. Her skin reminded him of the night because both were so cold. No, they were different. He could feel faint warmth emanating from her, somewhere inside where she kept her emotions locked in a wooden box to which there was no key. She didn't wear them – her emotions – on her sleeve as many preferred to do, but they were present. He knew it now.

Izumi closed her eyes as she cocked her head toward him, finding a comforting bliss in this simple gesture. She was safe again, after all this time.

If only you could see the world, Shiro…

See it as it truly is…