For notes and disclaimers, see Part 1.
Part 7
When CJ looked up she saw Toby leaning against the doorframe. "How long have you been standing there?"
"A while," he said and took a few steps into her office. "Where's Miranda?"
CJ smiled and walked over to him. "Believe it or not, she's in the Oval Office with the President."
Toby rubbed his forehead, but couldn't help smiling. "That would be something for the Press Room. The President of the United States has so much spare time he can watch a six year old."
"Toby!" CJ said in a warning tone. "I think it's sweet of him to look after her. He was going to read some memos and I was having a meeting, so he said she could be in his office doing her puzzles."
Toby smiled and sat down in the couch. CJ soon joined him.
"How's she doing?"
"Miranda?" He nodded. "Surprisingly well, Toby. She talks about it a lot, the accident, Michael and Karen, Aaron. She's very open and she cries. She's very mature to be six years."
Toby looked down. "And you? How are you doing?"
CJ smiled, a bit surprised at the question. "I'm doing fine, Toby. Thanks for asking."
"Don't do that, Ceej. Don't say it like it doesn't matter. All of a sudden you have to take care of a small kid and for all I know, you weren't that interesting in kids before."
CJ quickly rose and walked over to her desk and leaned against it, crossing her arms over the chest. "Toby, is there something you want to talk to me about?"
Toby slowly shook his head and avoided her eyes. "No. Why?"
"Because this isn't the first time you're bringing this up and now I wonder if there's something you have to say to me!"
"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I just." he trailed off and became quiet.
CJ threw out her hands in frustration. "What do you want from me? An apology? Because if that's what you want, I apologized to you seventeen years ago even though you didn't deserve it!" Toby remained quiet and CJ walked over to him and looked down at him on the couch. "Damn it, Toby! Say something!" She paused and remembered her door wasn't closed. She quickly walked over to it and closed it, then turned back to Toby. "Sure, I'll admit it. Until this entire circus began, I was happy with just being the cool aunt and that was enough for me but now." She sighed and seemed to calm down. She walked over to the couch and sat down next to him and tried to search his eyes. "She's been with me for almost a month now and I really like it. I like feeling responsible for someone else and I like having someone depending on me, and only me."
She took his hand in hers and held it tightly so he couldn't shake her off. "Toby, please look at me."
Toby turned to look at her for a short moment before looking down again. "I can't, CJ, because when I look at you now, everything comes back. I remember everything, every fight, every argument, and all the words we said to each other. Words I wish I'll never say or hear again."
CJ sighed and let go of his hand, knowing there was no point. "It wasn't just my decision, Toby. You have to put that behind you and let it go."
He finally looked at her without turning away. "CJ, can you honestly tell me that you have? Have you gotten over it?" When she chose to look away and not answer, he continued. "Can you also, honestly tell me that you don't regret what you did?"
She still didn't answer. Toby nodded slowly and rose.
"Yeah, that's what I thought," he said quietly before leaving her office.
TBC.
Part 7
When CJ looked up she saw Toby leaning against the doorframe. "How long have you been standing there?"
"A while," he said and took a few steps into her office. "Where's Miranda?"
CJ smiled and walked over to him. "Believe it or not, she's in the Oval Office with the President."
Toby rubbed his forehead, but couldn't help smiling. "That would be something for the Press Room. The President of the United States has so much spare time he can watch a six year old."
"Toby!" CJ said in a warning tone. "I think it's sweet of him to look after her. He was going to read some memos and I was having a meeting, so he said she could be in his office doing her puzzles."
Toby smiled and sat down in the couch. CJ soon joined him.
"How's she doing?"
"Miranda?" He nodded. "Surprisingly well, Toby. She talks about it a lot, the accident, Michael and Karen, Aaron. She's very open and she cries. She's very mature to be six years."
Toby looked down. "And you? How are you doing?"
CJ smiled, a bit surprised at the question. "I'm doing fine, Toby. Thanks for asking."
"Don't do that, Ceej. Don't say it like it doesn't matter. All of a sudden you have to take care of a small kid and for all I know, you weren't that interesting in kids before."
CJ quickly rose and walked over to her desk and leaned against it, crossing her arms over the chest. "Toby, is there something you want to talk to me about?"
Toby slowly shook his head and avoided her eyes. "No. Why?"
"Because this isn't the first time you're bringing this up and now I wonder if there's something you have to say to me!"
"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I just." he trailed off and became quiet.
CJ threw out her hands in frustration. "What do you want from me? An apology? Because if that's what you want, I apologized to you seventeen years ago even though you didn't deserve it!" Toby remained quiet and CJ walked over to him and looked down at him on the couch. "Damn it, Toby! Say something!" She paused and remembered her door wasn't closed. She quickly walked over to it and closed it, then turned back to Toby. "Sure, I'll admit it. Until this entire circus began, I was happy with just being the cool aunt and that was enough for me but now." She sighed and seemed to calm down. She walked over to the couch and sat down next to him and tried to search his eyes. "She's been with me for almost a month now and I really like it. I like feeling responsible for someone else and I like having someone depending on me, and only me."
She took his hand in hers and held it tightly so he couldn't shake her off. "Toby, please look at me."
Toby turned to look at her for a short moment before looking down again. "I can't, CJ, because when I look at you now, everything comes back. I remember everything, every fight, every argument, and all the words we said to each other. Words I wish I'll never say or hear again."
CJ sighed and let go of his hand, knowing there was no point. "It wasn't just my decision, Toby. You have to put that behind you and let it go."
He finally looked at her without turning away. "CJ, can you honestly tell me that you have? Have you gotten over it?" When she chose to look away and not answer, he continued. "Can you also, honestly tell me that you don't regret what you did?"
She still didn't answer. Toby nodded slowly and rose.
"Yeah, that's what I thought," he said quietly before leaving her office.
TBC.