DISCLAIMER: I only own Jen/Callie and the right to make fun of Harvard. I also own Carlos.
DISCLAIMER 2: Harvard sucks, but Yale sucks better.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry that it's been so long since my last update…I've been working on another story "Crazy I was Crazy Once," which takes a long time to write. If you keep reviewing, I'll try to update more often.
AUTHOR'S NOTE 2: Buy Girl Scout Cookies. They're yummy.
Lorne threw open the door, just in time to see Jen valiantly struggling against Buffy. Buffy looked up, picking the little girl up easily with one arm.
"Lorne," she said, "I'm kind of busy here." Jen-Callie wriggled in her arms, whimpering softly.
"Hate to break it to you, Buffy cakes," Lorne said, flashing the slayer a smile, "but the little ankle biter there is telling the truth. She is a Yale student named Jen Wood."
Buffy looked at Callie closely. Callie nodded her little head vigorously. Buffy set her down.
"You're a Yale student?" she asked, not quite comprehending.
"That's what I've been trying to tell you," Callie lisped.
The three of them left the room to go talk with the others, trying to ascertain exactly why Jen Wood of all people had been sucked into the Buffyverse.
The conversation was moving along fairly well, when all of a sudden, everyone in the room except for Callie started looking extremely confused.
"Guys," she said, "what's going on?"
"Half bit, isn't it about bedtime?" Spike asked.
"Would you like a glass of milk?" Angel asked. Jen's eyes flew open. Milk? That could only mean one thing…
"How old am I?" she asked in a tiny voice.
"Why, sweetie," Buffy said. "You're seven."
Jen groaned. What in the world was going on here? She took a deep breath. "Okay, guys, Cliffs Notes: I'm a Yale student trapped in this body, and for some reason you can't seem to get that through your respective heads." Callie started singing. "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, diddly dee…"
Lorne's eyes opened wide.
"Sacred samoas and tailored pink suits!" he exclaimed. "She's telling the truth, and we've all somehow forgotten it's true in the last five minutes!"
Five minutes later, the same thing happened again.
The adults were all talking so loudly that she couldn't get a word in edge wise, so Jen decided to take action. "How is Harvard like unprotected sex?" she asked loudly.
Silence. Everyone in the room stared at her. "There's no such thing as, er, sex," Angel said.
"Maybe not for you, nancy boy," Spike muttered.
Callie repeated herself. "How is Harvard like unprotected sex?"
"How?" Gunn asked, overcome with curiosity. Fred elbowed him in the stomach.
"It's fun to get in," Jen said, smirking, "but you wish you hadn't come." Everyone stared at her. Fred giggled.
"Now that I have your attention," Jen said, singing the words, "maybe we could come up with a solution to the problem at hand. Someone has obviously cast some sort of veil spell on you guys."
"I have an idea," Angel said, raising his hand tentatively. Five minutes later, it happened again.
"Read your hands," Callie said. Everyone complied. In black sharpie, each of them had written: Callie is really a Yale student. See other hand.
The other hand said: Harvard sucks and Princeton doesn't matter.
"But Princeton's ranked first in the US News and World Report," Fred said.
Callie scoffed in her general direction. "Klepto U," she muttered.
"Never much liked Princeton," Spike said. "And I bit a Harvard girl once. Tasted nasty, that chit did."
Spike was rewarded with a beaming smile from Callie, who crawled unabashedly into his lap. Sometimes, it was hard for her to remember that she was really Jen Wood too.
Callie, yawning, fell asleep, and five minutes later, when Spike and Buffy decided it was time to head home with the half bit, they carried her to the car. Neither of them bothered to look at their hands.
When Callie woke up, they were almost back in Sunnydale. "What's going on?" she asked them.
"Go back to sleep," Buffy said soothingly. "You have school tomorrow."
"School?!" Jen said. "Read your hand."
Buffy stared at her hand. "Apparently Harvard sucks," she said, "and Princeton doesn't matter."
"Other hand," Callie groaned.
"It's all blurred," Buffy said.
"Spike?" Callie asked.
"Harvard sucks, blah blah blah… sorry, half bit, I can't seem to read the other half either." Jen Wood groaned. College was one thing. Elementary school was something entirely different.
TBC… PLEASE REVIEW!!!