Hidden Agenda

Beefywpac :: Thanks! Well, just keep reading and you'll see where I'm going!

Lover of the Dragon :: HOORAY! There is nothing more satisfying than being told you're good. And your reviews are great! Most people don't even bother with them (SCUM!)

Syko :: Well, I've never really thought about how he actually grew up as a normal looking person. Thanks for the tip! I'll defiantly look into that for further chapters. As for his father, there's going to be more about him in the next chapter, comparisons between him and Lucius. And what he looks like as a full vampire? Well, that ones easy, he looks exactly like he normally does… but then again, would he look like that if he weren't a vampire? Heh heh heh.

A/N Once again, words in bold text (excluding titles, etc) are Draco's thoughts.

Chapter Five :: My Sanctuary

It's so hard to keep control. I should have known. Should have anticipated this. Owls and rats can only last so long. Vampires need human blood to survive. If I don't kill someone I'll die, but if I do kill someone I won't want to live. Dead blood is useless. I need my victims live for my urges to subside. Dead blood is like poison. It could kill me.

I need life to live.

I am a disgusting, vile creature. As bad as the Dementors that guard Azkaban. I have to hurt others to survive. I don't deserve my life.

But that won't stop me holding onto it.

Afraid to live. Afraid to die. Afraid to stay. Afraid to go. Living in fear. There is no cure for fear. I have to live with it.

I have to live with myself.

My mind wanders. I remember the time she touched me. I almost died of shock. Right there in front of her. She was so close. It could have been so easy. So simple. If she weren't forever surrounded. If I were ever left alone. Just a moment to myself. So I can find her…

I want her more and more as each day passes. I hate everything about her… but this. This could save me. Her blood… my sanctuary. I can't help myself.

My mind travels backwards. To that fateful day when I realized that something horrible was happening to me. It was worse than death…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Hogwarts – Front Entrance – April 1998 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco watched with interest as Hagrid ran back to his cabin, crying like a baby. "Look at him blubber!" He hooted in delight. "Have you ever seen anything quite as pathetic? And he's supposed to be our teacher! And you're supposed to be a normal teenager, but you're not, are you?

Harry and Ron both started furiously towards him but Hermione got there first – SMACK!

She had slapped Draco around the face with all the strength she could muster. He staggered.

She pulled out her wand. He stepped backwards in a physical effort to restrain himself. Had he not done it, he knew he would have bitten her, there and then, no matter who saw him. He would have sunk his teeth into her neck and drank her until she was empty. Until she was dead. Don't touch her. Don't even think about it. You can't Draco. Don't. Just go. Just leave. Just walk away. Just walk away.

"C'mon," he muttered to Crabbe and Goyle. They walked down the passage to the dungeons.

Draco was still in a state of extreme shock. He had come so close. Had he not stepped back… had they been alone… She'd be dead. Stop thinking about it. Stop it.

He kept his mouth firmly shut as they walked towards the door that concealed their Common Room. His fangs pressed into the inside of his bottom lip. He felt blood trickling underneath his tounge, pooling. He swallowed, careful to make sure his fangs didn't show. Don't slip up. Not now.

Crabbe and Goyle continued to walk beside him as though nothing were wrong. They don't know that anything is…

Be ever so careful Draco. Step ever so lightly and be ever so quiet. Stay hidden. As deep as you can. The voice of his mother echoed across his head.

He quickened his pace, turning into the nearest bathroom.

Once inside, he locked himself into a cubicle and leaned his head against the door.

Finally.

Peace.

Solitude.

Sanctuary.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Worse than death. Something that I couldn't control. I was falling…

Falling in love with a girl I hated. I didn't like her. I couldn't stand her. I loathed her very presence in my life. But still, I couldn't help it. I was falling in love. All because of what flowed freely in her veins. Her blood.

Her blood.

My sanctuary.