Warning: Once again, this is inspired by "Here is Gone" by the Goo Goo
Dolls and I have no smidgen of ownership of the song or the anime InuYasha.
Part Three
*****And I want to get free. Talk to me. I can feel you falling.*****
Don't you see that I don't want things to be like this? Can't you see that I'm not your enemy? Can't you see that you're not mine? Hell, perhaps you're blinded by too many things. After all, you did pass through this world and the next to be resurrected. After all, you were hurled into a false body made out of nothing but the waste of the earth. Perhaps those traumatic events have made you blind to my face and deaf to my words.
If we could only speak to each other. Alone. Freely. No one else but us. Nothing between us but air. No hatred. No spite. No pain. Maybe then, we could reconcile and forgive-or at least come to an understanding.
Damn it all! Can't you see how you've trapped me? Every single day, I wonder if it will be the day you come for me again. I wonder if it will be the day you succeed in killing me. I wonder if it will be the day you understand that it was Naraku and not me who murdered you. I wonder if it will be the day I see you depart in peace to wherever you went when you died. Heaven or hell. As long as you go back in peace. No hatred. No spite. No pain.
Until that day, I'm trapped in a spiral with you. To me it feels more like we're in the eye of a hurricane, being hurled through the air, being bashed against each other, being torn from each other. And until it dies, we are trapped there together at the mercy of the storm.
Every minute of every day I can feel you falling apart. You're held together so crudely. You seem so fragile. So feeble. So delicate. I often wonder why the wind hasn't dissipated your dirt and bone body yet. If I strain myself, I can hear the cracks in your earthen skin widen and lengthen. I can hear the dead souls seeping from your eyes, your ears, your mouth. I can feel you dying all over again. And it makes me ache so terribly for you.
I can feel us falling further and further apart from each other. Further away from any chance for reconciliation. Further away from peace. And yet you seem so unaffected, so oblivious to the shattering of the world that surrounds you. To the eminent shattering of your own body. And I want to cry out to you, to scream at you, to beg you to hold still so the wind won't blow you apart, to plead with you to just return to the earth and return to the Afterlife. In peace. Goddamn it, Kikyo! In peace!
But once again I realize how deaf you are. And I realize that nothing I say will help. So I return to silence-and my pity for you.
*****And I wanted to be all you need. Somehow here is gone.*****
I doubt that you would believe this now, but I really was more than ready to become a man for you. I was ready to give up my demonic heritage and allow my humanity to vanquish me. If that doesn't say anything about how much I cared for you, then I don't know what the hell does.
And I can't help but wonder how it would have been for us if things had gone as planned. Would we have married? Would we have had children? It seems almost like pure idiocy now. A half demon who became a man and married a priestess. But, is that how it would have been for us if you had given me the jewel to use and purify?
Would we have been happy together? Would the village had accepted me as your husband, and not as a poor half-breed you took pity on? I almost shudder thinking about it now, wondering what we would have gone through if your people had spurned you for taking a half-breed as a husband. And demons, knowing who we had once been-would they have sought for our deaths? Would we have been hunted for what we had dared to do? Or would we have simply been as happy as a husband and wife could?
I sigh and shake my head at the utter foolishness of thinking such things now. No matter where my mind and thoughts take me, the truth is still very clear. All those things are in the past. Out of our reach. And even if we could somehow return to those days, fifty years ago, things would only repeat themselves. That is a law of time and space. The past cannot be altered.
So, it appears that all that is left to us is the present. And the future, of course. But our paths lie in separate parts of the world, and they go in separate directions. Yours lies above the earth and beneath the sky-stuck somewhere between life and death. And it winds and curves dangerously. Mine is anchored safely to the ground; and although its curves are just as perilous and uncertain as yours, it seems to be pointed in the direction of assurance and safety. I have a haven set in my vision. A girl with a face so like yours whose spirit couldn't be any more opposite. Darkness is all I believe your blinded eyes can see. And when walking alone in darkness, you are destined to fall at some point.
A/N: Man, I'm surprised everyone is so open to this IY/Kikyo pairing. Almost all other fics with this pairing seem to be looked over. Thanks so much for reading!
Reply to reviewers:
Thunk: Don't worry about being eloquent. Some days I can spit out the most intricate sentences.and other days, well.ummm.I'm like this. ^_^
Lara Winner: You're very welcome for the review! And thanks for this one!!
Lynx lady: You know, that's the main reason I wrote this fic and "Riverwide", to try to pick apart the characters personality to try to better know them. I've also found it actually helps when you write a "regular" fanfiction along with them. And thanks for the review of "Riverwide" as well! ^_^ p.s. I read your bio and I thought I'd let you know I'm of Irish and Norwegian decent as well (my father's mother is full Norwegian).
Thanks to all of you for the great reviews!!
Part Three
*****And I want to get free. Talk to me. I can feel you falling.*****
Don't you see that I don't want things to be like this? Can't you see that I'm not your enemy? Can't you see that you're not mine? Hell, perhaps you're blinded by too many things. After all, you did pass through this world and the next to be resurrected. After all, you were hurled into a false body made out of nothing but the waste of the earth. Perhaps those traumatic events have made you blind to my face and deaf to my words.
If we could only speak to each other. Alone. Freely. No one else but us. Nothing between us but air. No hatred. No spite. No pain. Maybe then, we could reconcile and forgive-or at least come to an understanding.
Damn it all! Can't you see how you've trapped me? Every single day, I wonder if it will be the day you come for me again. I wonder if it will be the day you succeed in killing me. I wonder if it will be the day you understand that it was Naraku and not me who murdered you. I wonder if it will be the day I see you depart in peace to wherever you went when you died. Heaven or hell. As long as you go back in peace. No hatred. No spite. No pain.
Until that day, I'm trapped in a spiral with you. To me it feels more like we're in the eye of a hurricane, being hurled through the air, being bashed against each other, being torn from each other. And until it dies, we are trapped there together at the mercy of the storm.
Every minute of every day I can feel you falling apart. You're held together so crudely. You seem so fragile. So feeble. So delicate. I often wonder why the wind hasn't dissipated your dirt and bone body yet. If I strain myself, I can hear the cracks in your earthen skin widen and lengthen. I can hear the dead souls seeping from your eyes, your ears, your mouth. I can feel you dying all over again. And it makes me ache so terribly for you.
I can feel us falling further and further apart from each other. Further away from any chance for reconciliation. Further away from peace. And yet you seem so unaffected, so oblivious to the shattering of the world that surrounds you. To the eminent shattering of your own body. And I want to cry out to you, to scream at you, to beg you to hold still so the wind won't blow you apart, to plead with you to just return to the earth and return to the Afterlife. In peace. Goddamn it, Kikyo! In peace!
But once again I realize how deaf you are. And I realize that nothing I say will help. So I return to silence-and my pity for you.
*****And I wanted to be all you need. Somehow here is gone.*****
I doubt that you would believe this now, but I really was more than ready to become a man for you. I was ready to give up my demonic heritage and allow my humanity to vanquish me. If that doesn't say anything about how much I cared for you, then I don't know what the hell does.
And I can't help but wonder how it would have been for us if things had gone as planned. Would we have married? Would we have had children? It seems almost like pure idiocy now. A half demon who became a man and married a priestess. But, is that how it would have been for us if you had given me the jewel to use and purify?
Would we have been happy together? Would the village had accepted me as your husband, and not as a poor half-breed you took pity on? I almost shudder thinking about it now, wondering what we would have gone through if your people had spurned you for taking a half-breed as a husband. And demons, knowing who we had once been-would they have sought for our deaths? Would we have been hunted for what we had dared to do? Or would we have simply been as happy as a husband and wife could?
I sigh and shake my head at the utter foolishness of thinking such things now. No matter where my mind and thoughts take me, the truth is still very clear. All those things are in the past. Out of our reach. And even if we could somehow return to those days, fifty years ago, things would only repeat themselves. That is a law of time and space. The past cannot be altered.
So, it appears that all that is left to us is the present. And the future, of course. But our paths lie in separate parts of the world, and they go in separate directions. Yours lies above the earth and beneath the sky-stuck somewhere between life and death. And it winds and curves dangerously. Mine is anchored safely to the ground; and although its curves are just as perilous and uncertain as yours, it seems to be pointed in the direction of assurance and safety. I have a haven set in my vision. A girl with a face so like yours whose spirit couldn't be any more opposite. Darkness is all I believe your blinded eyes can see. And when walking alone in darkness, you are destined to fall at some point.
A/N: Man, I'm surprised everyone is so open to this IY/Kikyo pairing. Almost all other fics with this pairing seem to be looked over. Thanks so much for reading!
Reply to reviewers:
Thunk: Don't worry about being eloquent. Some days I can spit out the most intricate sentences.and other days, well.ummm.I'm like this. ^_^
Lara Winner: You're very welcome for the review! And thanks for this one!!
Lynx lady: You know, that's the main reason I wrote this fic and "Riverwide", to try to pick apart the characters personality to try to better know them. I've also found it actually helps when you write a "regular" fanfiction along with them. And thanks for the review of "Riverwide" as well! ^_^ p.s. I read your bio and I thought I'd let you know I'm of Irish and Norwegian decent as well (my father's mother is full Norwegian).
Thanks to all of you for the great reviews!!