Here I am again... in another writing mood... so you get
MORE... heh well. This would be part 3 of this that I write which in no way
belongs to me.. that would be Jhonen you should admire. Ok.. it's
11:39pm..But since intros waste time.. and you should be skipping this
(that's what I'd do) I won't make it long... so here endith the intro...
on with the creative juices! (squishy)
~Zim the Homicidal Irken pt3
'Naildoggy's right. I can't let them win. They would want this. They're probably up there waiting for confirmation of my death or something. Well, they can't have it; not this time. Fuck them, and fuck their wars. I don't even know why I thought they could be serious. So stupid...'
"Now look what you two have gone and made him do! He was going to do it and you stopped him!" Psycho Mooseboy rang out. Zim looked up from his arms to study M-boy's unchanging expression.
"Be patient and leave him alone! I know what the boy needs!" Mr. Pork interjected. Zim turned his gaze to Pork.
"What he needs is to end it; one quick swipe from that blade would have ended it all!" M-boy demanded.
"Stop!" Zim exclaimed as he was suddenly standing. "How can either of you know what I need when I don't even know?!"
"Don't listen to them; they only want to confuse you. You can stay here and you can stop feeding that ..." Naildoggy said.
"Silence you sack of decaying meat!" Pork yelled as he suddenly jumped forward, ripped poor Naildoggy's head off and threw it to the floor.
"Wait, wait, wait! I must be going crazy. Since when can you move?" Zim demanded of the rubber toy in front of him.
"The dog was aggravating!" pork defended. Zim tilted his head to the side, a look of confusion on his face.
"Look! It's time for Blue's Clues!" squealed a live pig that had somehow made its way into the house.
We see a strange cop version of Steve snooping around in a dark alley.
"Blue's killed again. Let's see what clues she's left us to find her whereabouts with." He walks down the alleyway a bit until he spies something with a blue paw print on it. "Hmm.. a bone, with some of the decaying flesh still attached! We need to write this down." Further down the alley we hear a shuffling.
"You'll never take me alive you ass fuck!" Blue yells as she jumps a fence.
"There's Blue! Let's get her!" Steve proceeds to chase Blue and the scene turns into something off of Cops.
Dib sat at the window in his room glaring at the extraterrestrial's home.
'He must be planning something' Dib thought to himself. 'I bet he did that thing on the way home from school just to scare me. pft I bet he won't even kill me. He just wants to get me all worked up so I won't go and uncover whatever plot of evil he's plotting. Well he's not going to fool me!' "I'll start spying on you tomorrow, Zim." Dib said as he left the window in favor of his computer monitor. He had plans to discuss with his fellow paranormalists.
Zim stayed in all night, finding himself too depressed to venture out into a world populated with fucked up pieces of shit. Luckily the next day was a Saturday which Zim found meant he didn't have to go to the horrible place of impending doom, A.K.A. skool. It was about mid afternoon when Zim was disturbed by a knocking on his door. He opened it slightly and peered out to see who might be intruding on his property. There stood a lady dressed in a fancy suit, holding a black bag in front of her. She donned a fake smile as she looked down at Zim.
"I'm selling things. Would you..." She stopped abruptly as Zim threw open the door and jumped up, grabbing her by the collar of her suit and bringing her down to his level.
"I need no things! It sent you didn't it!" Zim demanded.
"Wha? Who?" the woman asked as she slowly tried to pull herself away.
"The dog!" Zim yelled, not letting up on his grip.
"No... Really, I was just going to see if anyone in your household would like to buy some cosmetics." The woman said, beginning to get a little frantic.
"Oh.." Zim said as he released his grip. The woman got to her feet and slowly backed away from the disturbed boy. After she had gotten to what she believed to be a safe distance, she turned tail and ran. Zim watched her as she fled.
"What strange creatures these humans are." He said as he returned to the safety of his home.
Dib slowly lifted his head off his keyboard. He had fallen asleep while IMing Agent Mulderman the previous night. His eyes darted around his room as if unfamiliar with his surroundings before coherency returned to him. He yawned lazily as he stood and began to look for his spying tools.
'Alright, I have to sneak over there and observe as much as possible without being seen. That shouldn't be too hard. I just can't let him see me coming back home. He can't know that I live right next door to him.' Dib pondered to himself as he walked downstairs with his supplies. "Now all I have to wait for is it to get dark and I'm set!"
"Shut up!" Gaz demanded from her seat on the couch.
"Gaz, don't you care that I'm going to save the world and be famous for discovering alien life?"
"If you do not be quiet I will make sure that when they find you they will not be able to discern your remains from that of a chicken that has been mauled by a weasel. (I like weasels. I have a cute fuzzy white one, but he doesn't eat chickens)" Dib honestly pondered asking 'who is they' but decided against it.
The day passed quickly and soon evening was upon them. Dib, decked out in his supped up spy gear, exited the house through his back door. The fence in between his and Zim's yard insured that he could go unnoticed. 'I'll just sneak into the backyard and look in the window. If I can I'll get inside.' He thought as he adjusted the zoom on his camera. He stealthily snuck to where his chain link fence came into contact with the tall wooden fence that surrounded Zim's backyard. He scaled the chain link and pulled himself to the top of the wooden fence. He quietly hopped off the fence and landed on the loose dirt of the backyard. Dib slowly made his way up to the boarded up window which cast a slight amount of illumination across the yard from a large gap between the planks.
Zim stood in the kitchen, preparing a can of skettios on the stove. Along with the usual O's you would expect to be in spaghettios, there were also little triangle shapes. Zim thought he heard a slight sound like the shaking of a metal fence, but quickly dismissed it. He then heard a soft thudding noise that sounded close. He walked away from the stove for a moment to glance out the window. The backyard was silent and mostly shrouded in shadows. He glared out with his deep crimson eyes and lingered a moment, listening to the sounds of the night. When he was satisfied that he was hearing things, he turned back indoors to check on his meal.
'That was close' Dib thought as he relaxed at his position against the building wall. He slowly inched up underneath the window and prepared to peep in. Dib held his breath as he looked in through the crack. He saw Zim, undisguised, standing near what looked like a normal stove. 'Must be an alien stove.' Dib thought to himself as he brought the camera up for a picture. He was about to take it when Zim turned, feeling as if someone was watching him. Dib immediately dropped down from the window and leaned back into the wall, looking out at the yard. Zim stared at the window for another moment before averting his attention. 'That was too close.' Dib let his eyes trail across the yard and saw some strange thing that seemed to be sticking up out of the soil. He glanced up at the window and then began to make his way over to the strange lump in the ground. As he neared it he began to smell something disgusting. Squinting to see, he realized what the thing was. A thin skeleton finger was lying on the dirt, a fly circling it, and Dib could see it was attached to something fleshy that went down into the ground. He held back a shriek as he backed away from the body part. As quickly as he could he ran and jumped the fence. Now safely in his yard, Dib ran for inside and picked up the phone in the living room.
Zim had been pouring the skettios out into a bowl when he heard that noise from outside. He quickly completed the task and darted to the window to hear a thump coming from the next yard and through the boards he could see someone running for the house.
"I'll have to find out who lives there." Zim said aloud while squinting his eyes.
"Hello? Yes, I need the police.. now!" Dib spoke into the receiver.
"Shh! Keep it down! I've got to beat this zombie mongoose and the llama demon is coming up!" Gaz yelled from her seat.
"Yes? I'd like to report a murder!"
"Be quiet Dib!"
"There's this insane alien that lives next door to... No I don't mean from another country... Listen! He's psycho and he's killing ... what? No, this isn't a prank call! Just listen... he could kill again and..." Dib pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it for a moment before hanging it up. "Gaz, there's bodies buried in Zim's backyard!"
"Not now Dib."
"But..."
"Not Now!"
Dib looked sullenly at his sister before rushing up the stairs to his room to report his progress to his fellow Swollen Eyeballs.
END!
Heh... well I guess this is starting to have a lack of descriptive death in it. I need more of that. I shall do more of that... yes. Oh well tell me what you think so far. *looks at the button down there, looks at you...* alright... so push it. It's okay kids, it don't bite. *realizes that kids shouldn't be reading this* oh well... I'll do my part to keep corrupting your little minds and you do your part and push that thingy with your mouse. If you don't I won't know if you read it or not... and Gir won't get any waffles so boohoo...
~Zim the Homicidal Irken pt3
'Naildoggy's right. I can't let them win. They would want this. They're probably up there waiting for confirmation of my death or something. Well, they can't have it; not this time. Fuck them, and fuck their wars. I don't even know why I thought they could be serious. So stupid...'
"Now look what you two have gone and made him do! He was going to do it and you stopped him!" Psycho Mooseboy rang out. Zim looked up from his arms to study M-boy's unchanging expression.
"Be patient and leave him alone! I know what the boy needs!" Mr. Pork interjected. Zim turned his gaze to Pork.
"What he needs is to end it; one quick swipe from that blade would have ended it all!" M-boy demanded.
"Stop!" Zim exclaimed as he was suddenly standing. "How can either of you know what I need when I don't even know?!"
"Don't listen to them; they only want to confuse you. You can stay here and you can stop feeding that ..." Naildoggy said.
"Silence you sack of decaying meat!" Pork yelled as he suddenly jumped forward, ripped poor Naildoggy's head off and threw it to the floor.
"Wait, wait, wait! I must be going crazy. Since when can you move?" Zim demanded of the rubber toy in front of him.
"The dog was aggravating!" pork defended. Zim tilted his head to the side, a look of confusion on his face.
"Look! It's time for Blue's Clues!" squealed a live pig that had somehow made its way into the house.
We see a strange cop version of Steve snooping around in a dark alley.
"Blue's killed again. Let's see what clues she's left us to find her whereabouts with." He walks down the alleyway a bit until he spies something with a blue paw print on it. "Hmm.. a bone, with some of the decaying flesh still attached! We need to write this down." Further down the alley we hear a shuffling.
"You'll never take me alive you ass fuck!" Blue yells as she jumps a fence.
"There's Blue! Let's get her!" Steve proceeds to chase Blue and the scene turns into something off of Cops.
Dib sat at the window in his room glaring at the extraterrestrial's home.
'He must be planning something' Dib thought to himself. 'I bet he did that thing on the way home from school just to scare me. pft I bet he won't even kill me. He just wants to get me all worked up so I won't go and uncover whatever plot of evil he's plotting. Well he's not going to fool me!' "I'll start spying on you tomorrow, Zim." Dib said as he left the window in favor of his computer monitor. He had plans to discuss with his fellow paranormalists.
Zim stayed in all night, finding himself too depressed to venture out into a world populated with fucked up pieces of shit. Luckily the next day was a Saturday which Zim found meant he didn't have to go to the horrible place of impending doom, A.K.A. skool. It was about mid afternoon when Zim was disturbed by a knocking on his door. He opened it slightly and peered out to see who might be intruding on his property. There stood a lady dressed in a fancy suit, holding a black bag in front of her. She donned a fake smile as she looked down at Zim.
"I'm selling things. Would you..." She stopped abruptly as Zim threw open the door and jumped up, grabbing her by the collar of her suit and bringing her down to his level.
"I need no things! It sent you didn't it!" Zim demanded.
"Wha? Who?" the woman asked as she slowly tried to pull herself away.
"The dog!" Zim yelled, not letting up on his grip.
"No... Really, I was just going to see if anyone in your household would like to buy some cosmetics." The woman said, beginning to get a little frantic.
"Oh.." Zim said as he released his grip. The woman got to her feet and slowly backed away from the disturbed boy. After she had gotten to what she believed to be a safe distance, she turned tail and ran. Zim watched her as she fled.
"What strange creatures these humans are." He said as he returned to the safety of his home.
Dib slowly lifted his head off his keyboard. He had fallen asleep while IMing Agent Mulderman the previous night. His eyes darted around his room as if unfamiliar with his surroundings before coherency returned to him. He yawned lazily as he stood and began to look for his spying tools.
'Alright, I have to sneak over there and observe as much as possible without being seen. That shouldn't be too hard. I just can't let him see me coming back home. He can't know that I live right next door to him.' Dib pondered to himself as he walked downstairs with his supplies. "Now all I have to wait for is it to get dark and I'm set!"
"Shut up!" Gaz demanded from her seat on the couch.
"Gaz, don't you care that I'm going to save the world and be famous for discovering alien life?"
"If you do not be quiet I will make sure that when they find you they will not be able to discern your remains from that of a chicken that has been mauled by a weasel. (I like weasels. I have a cute fuzzy white one, but he doesn't eat chickens)" Dib honestly pondered asking 'who is they' but decided against it.
The day passed quickly and soon evening was upon them. Dib, decked out in his supped up spy gear, exited the house through his back door. The fence in between his and Zim's yard insured that he could go unnoticed. 'I'll just sneak into the backyard and look in the window. If I can I'll get inside.' He thought as he adjusted the zoom on his camera. He stealthily snuck to where his chain link fence came into contact with the tall wooden fence that surrounded Zim's backyard. He scaled the chain link and pulled himself to the top of the wooden fence. He quietly hopped off the fence and landed on the loose dirt of the backyard. Dib slowly made his way up to the boarded up window which cast a slight amount of illumination across the yard from a large gap between the planks.
Zim stood in the kitchen, preparing a can of skettios on the stove. Along with the usual O's you would expect to be in spaghettios, there were also little triangle shapes. Zim thought he heard a slight sound like the shaking of a metal fence, but quickly dismissed it. He then heard a soft thudding noise that sounded close. He walked away from the stove for a moment to glance out the window. The backyard was silent and mostly shrouded in shadows. He glared out with his deep crimson eyes and lingered a moment, listening to the sounds of the night. When he was satisfied that he was hearing things, he turned back indoors to check on his meal.
'That was close' Dib thought as he relaxed at his position against the building wall. He slowly inched up underneath the window and prepared to peep in. Dib held his breath as he looked in through the crack. He saw Zim, undisguised, standing near what looked like a normal stove. 'Must be an alien stove.' Dib thought to himself as he brought the camera up for a picture. He was about to take it when Zim turned, feeling as if someone was watching him. Dib immediately dropped down from the window and leaned back into the wall, looking out at the yard. Zim stared at the window for another moment before averting his attention. 'That was too close.' Dib let his eyes trail across the yard and saw some strange thing that seemed to be sticking up out of the soil. He glanced up at the window and then began to make his way over to the strange lump in the ground. As he neared it he began to smell something disgusting. Squinting to see, he realized what the thing was. A thin skeleton finger was lying on the dirt, a fly circling it, and Dib could see it was attached to something fleshy that went down into the ground. He held back a shriek as he backed away from the body part. As quickly as he could he ran and jumped the fence. Now safely in his yard, Dib ran for inside and picked up the phone in the living room.
Zim had been pouring the skettios out into a bowl when he heard that noise from outside. He quickly completed the task and darted to the window to hear a thump coming from the next yard and through the boards he could see someone running for the house.
"I'll have to find out who lives there." Zim said aloud while squinting his eyes.
"Hello? Yes, I need the police.. now!" Dib spoke into the receiver.
"Shh! Keep it down! I've got to beat this zombie mongoose and the llama demon is coming up!" Gaz yelled from her seat.
"Yes? I'd like to report a murder!"
"Be quiet Dib!"
"There's this insane alien that lives next door to... No I don't mean from another country... Listen! He's psycho and he's killing ... what? No, this isn't a prank call! Just listen... he could kill again and..." Dib pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it for a moment before hanging it up. "Gaz, there's bodies buried in Zim's backyard!"
"Not now Dib."
"But..."
"Not Now!"
Dib looked sullenly at his sister before rushing up the stairs to his room to report his progress to his fellow Swollen Eyeballs.
END!
Heh... well I guess this is starting to have a lack of descriptive death in it. I need more of that. I shall do more of that... yes. Oh well tell me what you think so far. *looks at the button down there, looks at you...* alright... so push it. It's okay kids, it don't bite. *realizes that kids shouldn't be reading this* oh well... I'll do my part to keep corrupting your little minds and you do your part and push that thingy with your mouse. If you don't I won't know if you read it or not... and Gir won't get any waffles so boohoo...