failing a sense of closure
*alright, folks, you asked for it: the sequel to "in another life". in my usual style, i have no true plan for the sequence of events beyond the blatantly obvious. but i can tell you this: the first chapter, if not more of it, WILL be gorier than the story from which 'twas spawned. also, i think i may have figured out the formatting for this story so that the paragraphs will separate this time. another warning: this sequel is based on an idea donated to me by LittleMaggie and under the influence of chevelle songs. so thank you both.* *oh, and squee belongs to jhonen vasquez, not me.*
chapter 1: hell, revisited.
oh shit.
todd casil awoke with a start. with a certain sense of relief and a touch of disappointment in himself he sat up and rubbed his head. he tried to stand, but, dizzy from a loss of blood, he sat heavily on the side of the tub. two large puddles of blood on the floor brought back the memories of the night before.
'you idiot,' he thought to himself, rising once more to clean up the floor, 'you were doing so well. six months, the longest you've ever gone without cutting, and here you are yet again. what the fuck is wrong with you?'
"shut up," he whispered to himself. more and more that second part of him was surfacing, talking, worrying him. "the last thing i need is schizophrenia."
the thoughts persisted. 'i thought we left that part of you behind. i thought you were a different person now. a REAL person. soon to be a husband.'
"shut up."
'-and a father.'
"SHUT UP!"
the voice went away, leaving him to his own thoughts. the voice was right. he was engaged to jopie. and, looking down at his now-bandaged wrists, he remembered exactly what had brought hell back to him.
jopie was away with family. she had called last night, telling him with an exciting giggle that she had gone to the doctor.
she was pregnant.
at the time he had been joyful, but now the bliss was twisted into trepidation.
"what the hell kind of father am i going to be?" he asked himself. "i don't even have a life. i'm no one-an organism defined by those around it. what will-"
'excuse me, squee, i hate to interrupt, but do remember that your darling jopie is due home in a half an hour.you might want to change.
"don't call me that!" he cried, realizing with sickening clarity that he was talking to himself. "that's not who i am anymore."
'prove it. change.'
*alright, folks, you asked for it: the sequel to "in another life". in my usual style, i have no true plan for the sequence of events beyond the blatantly obvious. but i can tell you this: the first chapter, if not more of it, WILL be gorier than the story from which 'twas spawned. also, i think i may have figured out the formatting for this story so that the paragraphs will separate this time. another warning: this sequel is based on an idea donated to me by LittleMaggie and under the influence of chevelle songs. so thank you both.* *oh, and squee belongs to jhonen vasquez, not me.*
chapter 1: hell, revisited.
oh shit.
todd casil awoke with a start. with a certain sense of relief and a touch of disappointment in himself he sat up and rubbed his head. he tried to stand, but, dizzy from a loss of blood, he sat heavily on the side of the tub. two large puddles of blood on the floor brought back the memories of the night before.
'you idiot,' he thought to himself, rising once more to clean up the floor, 'you were doing so well. six months, the longest you've ever gone without cutting, and here you are yet again. what the fuck is wrong with you?'
"shut up," he whispered to himself. more and more that second part of him was surfacing, talking, worrying him. "the last thing i need is schizophrenia."
the thoughts persisted. 'i thought we left that part of you behind. i thought you were a different person now. a REAL person. soon to be a husband.'
"shut up."
'-and a father.'
"SHUT UP!"
the voice went away, leaving him to his own thoughts. the voice was right. he was engaged to jopie. and, looking down at his now-bandaged wrists, he remembered exactly what had brought hell back to him.
jopie was away with family. she had called last night, telling him with an exciting giggle that she had gone to the doctor.
she was pregnant.
at the time he had been joyful, but now the bliss was twisted into trepidation.
"what the hell kind of father am i going to be?" he asked himself. "i don't even have a life. i'm no one-an organism defined by those around it. what will-"
'excuse me, squee, i hate to interrupt, but do remember that your darling jopie is due home in a half an hour.you might want to change.
"don't call me that!" he cried, realizing with sickening clarity that he was talking to himself. "that's not who i am anymore."
'prove it. change.'