Chapter 4
That morning, er, noon, Snake pulled himself out of bed. He felt his face and felt the scruff of his beard. He also felt a slickness of saliva on the side of his head. He reached around his bed feeling for a pair of underwear. He pulled those on, put his headband on and left his room. He saw the look of many pairs of eyes following him as he walked to the bathroom. When he left the bathroom, the eyes were still staring at him.
Snake (bewildered): What?
Olga: Oh nothing Snake. Nothing at all.
Snake: Oh good, I thought my zipper was down or something.
The sound of Otacon slapping himself on the forehead can be heard coming from the kitchen. Otacon is making a lunch of frozen pizza's and diet Dr. Peppers. Snake sat down on the couch and realized he wasn't wearing anything but chonies, shrugs, and snags the plate of pizza and soda from Otacon.
Snake (pointing at the "Diet" logo): What the hell is this?
Otacon: Snake, I grabbed the wrong thing, get off my back.
Snake: Stupid diet crap. Do you see any "Diet" Jagermeister? No. "Diet" Cheap ass Vodka that Olga gives out? No.
Olga: Hey!
Otacon: What about beer? Miller "Light." Coors "Light."
Snake: Whatchyou talkin' bout Hal?
Fortune: I'm talkin' bout a pair of pants.
Snake shrugs and Otacon takes a big deep breath. He goes into Snake's room and emerges with a T-shirt and some shorts.
Olga: You going to dress him too?
Otacon looks over his shoulder and gives Olga a dirty look.
Otacon: No, I think Snake can do that by himself.
Snake: Shhhhh!! It's twelve. Hamtaro's on.
Everybody looks at Snake in a surprised look as his clothes magically appeared on his body in the blink of an eye.
TV: Let's go Ham-Hams!!
Snake: Let's go!
TV: Oh my gosh! If Boss doesn't get his Christmas presents, he'll be sad!
Snake (loudly): Oh no!
TV: Don't worry, Hamtaro will save us!
Snake (relieved): Thank god!
Everybody else just watch in confusion because at the slightest movement Snake gives them that "make a noise and you'll loose an ear" look. Otacon started to fidget and Snake threw a can and beamed him in the head. Otacaon started to reach up to rub where the can hit, but he thought better about it. The show ended and an audible sigh of relief can be heard coming from the group. Just then, a knock on the door.
Otacon (to Snake): You going to get that?
Snake: Nah, probably some bum.
Otacon: Oh, the bums that get off of the street and just knock on your door for cash.
Snake nods profusely. Olga grunts and gets up to get the door. An angry face is on the other side.
Snake: Where's my gun bitch?
Raiden: I hate you!
Snake was up and had Raiden in a chokehold before Raiden could pull the Socom on him. Snake reached into Raiden's suit and got his gun back. Then he released Raiden.
Raiden: I guess I'll just forget the whole getting shot thing. I forgive you Snake.
Snake (giggling and muttering to himself): Just like when I was a kid, all the kids forgive. Then BAM! There whining in the sandbox because Dave choked them out.
Otacon: What was that?
Snake: Oh nothing.
That morning, er, noon, Snake pulled himself out of bed. He felt his face and felt the scruff of his beard. He also felt a slickness of saliva on the side of his head. He reached around his bed feeling for a pair of underwear. He pulled those on, put his headband on and left his room. He saw the look of many pairs of eyes following him as he walked to the bathroom. When he left the bathroom, the eyes were still staring at him.
Snake (bewildered): What?
Olga: Oh nothing Snake. Nothing at all.
Snake: Oh good, I thought my zipper was down or something.
The sound of Otacon slapping himself on the forehead can be heard coming from the kitchen. Otacon is making a lunch of frozen pizza's and diet Dr. Peppers. Snake sat down on the couch and realized he wasn't wearing anything but chonies, shrugs, and snags the plate of pizza and soda from Otacon.
Snake (pointing at the "Diet" logo): What the hell is this?
Otacon: Snake, I grabbed the wrong thing, get off my back.
Snake: Stupid diet crap. Do you see any "Diet" Jagermeister? No. "Diet" Cheap ass Vodka that Olga gives out? No.
Olga: Hey!
Otacon: What about beer? Miller "Light." Coors "Light."
Snake: Whatchyou talkin' bout Hal?
Fortune: I'm talkin' bout a pair of pants.
Snake shrugs and Otacon takes a big deep breath. He goes into Snake's room and emerges with a T-shirt and some shorts.
Olga: You going to dress him too?
Otacon looks over his shoulder and gives Olga a dirty look.
Otacon: No, I think Snake can do that by himself.
Snake: Shhhhh!! It's twelve. Hamtaro's on.
Everybody looks at Snake in a surprised look as his clothes magically appeared on his body in the blink of an eye.
TV: Let's go Ham-Hams!!
Snake: Let's go!
TV: Oh my gosh! If Boss doesn't get his Christmas presents, he'll be sad!
Snake (loudly): Oh no!
TV: Don't worry, Hamtaro will save us!
Snake (relieved): Thank god!
Everybody else just watch in confusion because at the slightest movement Snake gives them that "make a noise and you'll loose an ear" look. Otacon started to fidget and Snake threw a can and beamed him in the head. Otacaon started to reach up to rub where the can hit, but he thought better about it. The show ended and an audible sigh of relief can be heard coming from the group. Just then, a knock on the door.
Otacon (to Snake): You going to get that?
Snake: Nah, probably some bum.
Otacon: Oh, the bums that get off of the street and just knock on your door for cash.
Snake nods profusely. Olga grunts and gets up to get the door. An angry face is on the other side.
Snake: Where's my gun bitch?
Raiden: I hate you!
Snake was up and had Raiden in a chokehold before Raiden could pull the Socom on him. Snake reached into Raiden's suit and got his gun back. Then he released Raiden.
Raiden: I guess I'll just forget the whole getting shot thing. I forgive you Snake.
Snake (giggling and muttering to himself): Just like when I was a kid, all the kids forgive. Then BAM! There whining in the sandbox because Dave choked them out.
Otacon: What was that?
Snake: Oh nothing.