Sorry it's been so damn long since I wrote a chapter. Sorry about all the
Raiden-bashing, but I really don't think you mind. Metal Gear and all of
that crap is trademarked to their original people and stuff like that. So
now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you all have been waiting for.
CHAPTER 8:
As the gang walks to their theater, an old lady walks into the theater and slips on the diarrhea that has slicked the entrance.
Raiden: "Escape from LA?" . . . I remember seeing that movie a few times. . . His . . . name . . . WAS SNAKE! OHMIGOD!!!
Snake: Hrm? I hear me name be call-ed.
Otacon: C'mon Snake, don't play dumb.
Snake: Whose playing?
The big neon lights for the concession stand can be seen now to our heroes.
Olga: Hmm . . . Maybe I'll get one of those . . . hot dogs that you Americans like so much.
Snake (with a wide grin): I'll get me some al-ke-hall. . . Hey, little beeotch, go save us some seats.
Nobody answers. A few seconds later Snake turns around and punches Raiden in his formerly-wounded shoulder (they gave him an IV drip of rations).
Raiden: Waaaaaah!! (Tears run down his face) I got shot there a few days ago *sniff* and you go on and hit me.
Rose: C'mon Jackie poo, you can do it for me. Besides, don't you remember the time when we went to the store and I wanted to get Home Pride bread and you said 'No, I want Wonder bread' and we argued for thirty minutes while the tourists-
Snake: Shaddap, the Metal Gear name got tarnished when you had to have your romantic crap in the story. Geez, that really pissed me off, only having like ten percent of the game. . . You are SO lucky that Substance came out. . .
Otacon: But Snake, Raiden's love story is in that too.
Snake: THAT'S IT!
Snake swings a punch at Raiden but misses because Raiden ran off screaming with his hands waving in the air at the sight of Snake with a fist.
Raiden: AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone in the area looks in his direction and laughs at the mere sight of him.
Finally they get to get to the concession stand.
Snake: Er, I'd like a Budweiser, a Coors, one of them Absolut vodka things. . .
(This goes on for a while)
Snake: . . . Maybe one o' them JD's, and hell, give me sommadat whiskey that we get from Canada.
Clerk (bewildered look on her face): Um sir-
Snake: Yeah, the liquor store charges only seventy bucks. (Proudly) I gotta discount.
Random Genome Soldier standing in line: Ah c'mon, hurry it up over there, I'm tryin' to catch a movie! (A look of recognition goes over the Soldier's face) HEY! IT'S HIM!
An exclamation mark goes over his head and everyone except Snake and Olga dive behind the counter as a loud alarm can be heard. The guard reaches for something on his back. A radio emerges and he starts yelling at it.
Guard: It's the enemy, I ne-
Snake emptied a clip of ammo into his head before he finished.
(Over the radio): What's going on, respond?
Then a random guy who just bought a hot-dog walks in Snakes sight.
Random guy: Lah-dee-dah-dee-dah. . . It's such a beautiful day.
Snake shoots the hot dog out of his hand and the hot dog flies across the room, bounces off of the far wall and lands in Snake's outstretched hand.
Radio: Send the ba-
Snake flips the off switch on the radio and the gang emerges from behind the counter.
Snake: Beer please!
Meanwhile. . .
Guard in Security room: Damn! He turned the radio off! Now he can make a clean getaway and I don't care! But if he didn't turn that radio off. . .
Back to Snake and the gang.
All (singing): O, Let's go to the mooovies, Oh, let's go to the moooovies, Oh let's go to the moooovies. . .
The Gang finally makes it to theater number 4 on the left.
Snake: Wait. . . Movies?
CHAPTER 8:
As the gang walks to their theater, an old lady walks into the theater and slips on the diarrhea that has slicked the entrance.
Raiden: "Escape from LA?" . . . I remember seeing that movie a few times. . . His . . . name . . . WAS SNAKE! OHMIGOD!!!
Snake: Hrm? I hear me name be call-ed.
Otacon: C'mon Snake, don't play dumb.
Snake: Whose playing?
The big neon lights for the concession stand can be seen now to our heroes.
Olga: Hmm . . . Maybe I'll get one of those . . . hot dogs that you Americans like so much.
Snake (with a wide grin): I'll get me some al-ke-hall. . . Hey, little beeotch, go save us some seats.
Nobody answers. A few seconds later Snake turns around and punches Raiden in his formerly-wounded shoulder (they gave him an IV drip of rations).
Raiden: Waaaaaah!! (Tears run down his face) I got shot there a few days ago *sniff* and you go on and hit me.
Rose: C'mon Jackie poo, you can do it for me. Besides, don't you remember the time when we went to the store and I wanted to get Home Pride bread and you said 'No, I want Wonder bread' and we argued for thirty minutes while the tourists-
Snake: Shaddap, the Metal Gear name got tarnished when you had to have your romantic crap in the story. Geez, that really pissed me off, only having like ten percent of the game. . . You are SO lucky that Substance came out. . .
Otacon: But Snake, Raiden's love story is in that too.
Snake: THAT'S IT!
Snake swings a punch at Raiden but misses because Raiden ran off screaming with his hands waving in the air at the sight of Snake with a fist.
Raiden: AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone in the area looks in his direction and laughs at the mere sight of him.
Finally they get to get to the concession stand.
Snake: Er, I'd like a Budweiser, a Coors, one of them Absolut vodka things. . .
(This goes on for a while)
Snake: . . . Maybe one o' them JD's, and hell, give me sommadat whiskey that we get from Canada.
Clerk (bewildered look on her face): Um sir-
Snake: Yeah, the liquor store charges only seventy bucks. (Proudly) I gotta discount.
Random Genome Soldier standing in line: Ah c'mon, hurry it up over there, I'm tryin' to catch a movie! (A look of recognition goes over the Soldier's face) HEY! IT'S HIM!
An exclamation mark goes over his head and everyone except Snake and Olga dive behind the counter as a loud alarm can be heard. The guard reaches for something on his back. A radio emerges and he starts yelling at it.
Guard: It's the enemy, I ne-
Snake emptied a clip of ammo into his head before he finished.
(Over the radio): What's going on, respond?
Then a random guy who just bought a hot-dog walks in Snakes sight.
Random guy: Lah-dee-dah-dee-dah. . . It's such a beautiful day.
Snake shoots the hot dog out of his hand and the hot dog flies across the room, bounces off of the far wall and lands in Snake's outstretched hand.
Radio: Send the ba-
Snake flips the off switch on the radio and the gang emerges from behind the counter.
Snake: Beer please!
Meanwhile. . .
Guard in Security room: Damn! He turned the radio off! Now he can make a clean getaway and I don't care! But if he didn't turn that radio off. . .
Back to Snake and the gang.
All (singing): O, Let's go to the mooovies, Oh, let's go to the moooovies, Oh let's go to the moooovies. . .
The Gang finally makes it to theater number 4 on the left.
Snake: Wait. . . Movies?