You're More Than a Friend

Chapter 7 –Deadly Nightshade Kills…No, really. (Part 2)

~AN: This chapter goes straight on from the last one.~

For the next week James and Lily ignored each other, avoiding each other's eyes in the hallway and such. Then Lily heard a rumor that James was going to the ball with Maleficent Baddock. Oh that'd be right. She thought. I'm not allowed to go with a Snake, but he is. And to make it worse, she's Murl's best f***ing friend.

She slammed her knife and fork down and stormed out of the hall, her appetite gone. I'll do it tonight then. She thought, her throat choking up. It's not like anyone here'll miss me. The Marauders all hate me, Lauren's too busy snogging Remus to notice I'm upset and so's Molly, 'cept with Arthur. I've got Potions now, so I can get the belladonna, and I'm safe from the Marauders, because they're going to Hogsmeade tomorrow, and the full moons not until the night after. So, midnight. Yes, I've always fancied that time. Lots of stars, under the oak tree by the lake. Yes I like that. Her mind made up; she went to the dungeons. After checking there was no one inside, she went to the store cupboard and took out the powdered belladonna.

(~AN: belladonna and deadly nightshade are exactly the same thing, for anyone who didn't know.~) She tipped a carefully measured amount into one of her Potions vials, and sat down in her seat, taking out everything she would need for the next hour. (~AN: I dunno how long their classes are, but I'm going to assume they're an hour long.~)

James walked into Potions with Remus, both of them talking about the Christmas Ball. They stopped immediately when they saw Lily. James was struck by how much she had changed. She was no longer the sill 4 year old Lily, nor was she the sweet naïve 11 year old Lily, or even the kind, funny, happy 16 year old Lily of a little over a week ago. She was still as beautiful as ever, but there was a strange sadness about it. She was thinner, paler, and there were deep purple shadows under her eyes. She appeared to be working harder than ever, and James heard that she had burst into tears 3 days ago in the Library because Malfoy was teasing her. He'd also heard that she had asked Malfoy to the ball, but he'd turned her down. This had caused an uproar, because she was supposed to be going with Sirius, so Sirius had told her he was now going with his little sisters best friend, a girl named Carry Macintosh. This had obviously hit Lily very hard, and she'd told him he could go with anyone he damn well wanted to, because he wasn't her crush, and she wouldn't like him in a million years. That statement had not gone down well, and now none of the Gryffindors bar her two best friends and Remus were talking to her. Remus upheld that it was not solely her fault, that both parties were to blame, so he wasn't going to take sides. This had caused some friction between Remus and Peter, but it had soon been over, because neither wanted to lose one of their best friends. (~AN: Although personally I think Peter would have deserved it. DIE rat, DIE!!!~)

'Besides,' Remus had said, 'Lily's a good listener, and her class notes are easier to understand than yours are. She doesn't ask questions about why I'm sick a lot either.' So the other Marauders just ignored her, and let Remus be when he was talking to her. James quickly got out all of his Potions stuff, just as Professor Jacon came in.

"What have we got after this?" Sirius asked James.

"Transfiguration with McGonagall." James answered.

"It's really weird having her." Sirius said.

"Yeah, especially considering she was in the 7th year when we were in the 1st. I mean, we used to call her Minerva."

"No more talking." Professor Jacon said sharply. "And that'll be 10 points from Gryffindor."

They proceeded to work in peace. Finally Professor Jacon clapped his hands,

"That should have been sufficient time to work in." He said. "Everyone rinse your hands. Then we'll try the potion on…" He gazed around the room. "On Potter." He said, smiling evilly. Shit. James thought. He turned to Sirius, panicking.

"What'm I gonna do, Padfoot? That's a truth potion." Sirius winked,

"Don't worry." He whispered. He took out his wand, and ducked, as a spark of amber light flew over his head. It hit the blackboard with a terrific bang, and left a huge smoking hole. James looked around in time to see Lily calmly putting away her wand.

"Miss Evans you just earned yourself a detention." Jacon snapped.

Lily listened politely to his raving, as a sense of relief came over her. Anything would be better than listening to how James felt about her.

"Are you listening to me, Evans?" Jacon asked angrily.

"Yes, Professor." Lily said politely.

"Then what did I say?"

"I have detention here this afternoon from 4 until 8. I have to clean this dungeon from top to bottom." Lily chanted in a monotone.

"I'm glad you understand. I will also be taking 50 points from Gryffindor for willful vandalism."

"Yes Professor."

Everyone glared at Lily as they cleaned up the mess. In all the excitement Professor Jacon forgot about testing the potion, something for which both James and Lily were very grateful.

"Let's go to Hogsmeade tonight." Sirius whispered. James nodded.

"What with Potions this morning, and Divination this afternoon, we're gonna need some butterbeer." He could hear whispering, and leant back slightly, so he could hear what was being said.

"Lily, is anything wrong? You've been rather quiet lately." He heard Lauren say.

"I'm fine." Lily said in a totally emotionless voice.

"Is it boy trouble? Are you upset because Malfoy won't go to the ball with you?"

"Lauren, think about it for a moment. This is me, Lily Addrianna Evans, the girl you've known since the first year, the girl you has been teased by Malfoy since the first year. Do you really think that I'd ask him to go to the ball with me?"

James waited with baited breath for Lauren's answer.

"No… I guess not." Lauren said slowly.

"Good. Besides, you know who I like, who I've liked since the third year."

"You still like him? Why haven't you told him yet?"

"Because," Her voice was thick with tears, "Because he hates me. He'll probably never like me. I described what my crush looked like right in front of him, and he got mad and told me not to talk about boys all the time."

"Why are you so upset? Just move on."

"I can't move on. I love him! I've loved him since the third year. Probably longer than that. I used to love him as a friend, but that changed. He's my one and only, my soul mate. I want… I wanted to grow old with him."

The bell rang then, cutting off Lauren's reply. James went to Transfiguration, feeling a deep, wrenching sadness in his heart.

Lily slipped out of the portrait hole the minute her watch said midnight. She hurried towards the lake, then slowed down. What am I hurrying for? She wondered. It's not like I've got anywhere to be. She shrugged in answer to her question. She sat down beneath the old oak. As she sat, a song floated into her mind (~AN: I know that this song, I'm With You, by Avril Lavigne hasn't been invented yet in this time, but I love it, so I'm putting it in. : -P~)

I'm standing on a bridge,

I'm waiting in the dark,

I thought you'd be here by now.

By now,

There's nothing but the rain

No footsteps on the ground

I'm listening but there's no sound

Isn't anyone trying to find me?

Won't somebody come take me home?

It's a damn cold night

Trying to figure out this life

Won't you take me by the hand

Take me somewhere new

I don't know who you are but I,

I'm with you

Strangely fitting. She thought. She took the vial of belladonna out of her pocket. Then she picked up her wand.

"Incetius Aquerous." A steaming goblet appeared. She added the powder, and the goblet steamed even more. She downed the poison, and grimaced at the taste. Well it's not going to taste nice, Lily, it's a poison. She told herself. She shivered, and pulled her cloak around herself, waiting for the potion to take affect.

"She's just so annoying!" James exclaimed. "I mean, if she wasn't such a bitch all the time, we wouldn't fight so much!"

"The way I recall it, you were the one who started the fight, James, and you've never fought before this." Remus replied.

"Whatever. The point it, if I never saw her again it would be too soon."

"Ok, point taken. Now can we hurry back? I was supposed to talk to Lily at 10, and we're late, it's way past 12."

"Who cares? It couldn't have been too important. You can talk to her tomorrow."

"Please, James."

"Oh, alright."

They started walking again, and soon saw Sirius; he was running up to them, Lauren in tow.

"We, we couldn't find her, Moony." Sirius said, stopping and breathing hard.

"Find who?" James asked.

"I asked Padfoot to go find Lily, do I could apologise for being late." Remus said, taking Lauren's hand.

"She's gone Remus. I heard her get up at 11.30, and assumed she'd gone to find you, but it's 1.30 and she's not back yet. And she left this behind." Lauren held up a silver locket and chain. Inside was a muggle picture of her mother, and a picture of her with Lauren. That picture was moving, and Lily kept on leaning over to Lauren, whispering something, then laughing at the expression on Lauren's face. James had taken that picture during the third year, catching the girls during one of their many gossip sessions. James knew how much the locket meant to Lily, she wouldn't leave it behind for no reason. "And it's the only picture Lily has of her mum." She added.

"Can't she take another one?" James asked.

"James, Lily's mum and dad died last week. She can't take any more pictures of her." Lauren said sadly, James knew that Mrs. Evans had been Lauren's real mother, not the druggie bitch Lauren lived with.

"But, why didn't she tell me?" James asked, expecting a full upbraiding.

"I don't know. You guys haven't been talking for a while now. Maybe she figured you didn't care."

"We've got to find her. C'mon." James said, his earlier words forgotten.

They ran past the lake, and James almost tripped.

"What the?" He pulled out his wand. "Lumos."

Lauren gasped, as the wand's light showed a person lying on the grass. James moved the wand higher, so he could see the person's face. James's heart lurched. It was Lily.

"Lily?" He breathed. He knelt down beside her, and toughed her cheek. It was dry and cold. "Oh my god, Lily." He scooped her up, and hugged her to him. Her head lolled. Lauren knelt down.

"Oh no, I knew she was upset, but not like this. Damn the Dark Lord!" She exclaimed. Remus and Sirius knelt down too.

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked.

"Well isn't it obvious? He killed her parents, and that, combined with the fact a certain someone," She looked directly at James as she said this, "doesn't care for her, and the fact that Mol and I have been to busy has obviously taken it's toll. She decided that no-one loved her, and that no-one would miss her." Lauren picked up the goblet, which was still steaming slightly. She sniffed it. "Nightshade. And we don't know how long. At least an hour, I'd say." Lauren dropped her face into her hands, and began to cry. Remus put his arm around her.

"James, you and Sirius go get Madam Pomfrey." He said.

"No." James shook his head. "I'm staying here. You go. Take Lauren and Sirius."

"Ok, fine." The three of them got up, and ran towards the castle.

"Lily, oh Lily, why?" He asked, holding her close. He felt tears rising in his eyes. "If I ever find the guy that did this to you, I'll kill him." He wiped his eyes. Why did Lauren look at me when she told us about the guy Lily likes? He gazed down at the locket in his hands. What was the secret that made Lauren look so amazed? He wondered. The picture Lauren smiled up at him, then touched her heart and pointed at Lily. She earned a smack off Lily for that. He frowned, glasses sliding down his nose. He pushed them back up, impatiently. "Wha?" He asked softly. Lauren repeated the gesture, then pointed at him. He didn't have time to figure it out though, because at that exact moment, Sirius, Remus and Lauren reappeared, Madam Pomfrey following them.

"What happened this time?" Madam Pomfrey asked.

"Lily drank deadly nightshade." Lauren said, her voice slightly muffled, as her face was currently buried in Remus's robes. Madam Pomfrey sighed.

"I should have known something like this was going to happen. What with her mother dying, and having a big fight with 'that boy'" Was it James's imagination, or did Madam Pomfrey's eyes flicker over to James? "As she puts it, she was bound to become depressed."

"But she'll live, won't she?" Remus asked worriedly.

"I'm not sure, Mr. Lupin. If she's had the poison in her for very long she could very well die. I'll need to give her the antidote as soon as possible."

"How long will it take to find out whether she'll live?" James asked.

"I won't know until she wakes up, which could be a very short while, a couple of hours, to a very long while, a year. After a year, there is almost no chance that she will ever wake."

"Ok."

For the second time that fortnight Lauren and the Marauders followed Madam Pomfrey up to the infirmary because of Lily. They watched while the antidote was administered.

"I think you should go now." Madam Pomfrey said. "You can visit her of course, but you've all got classes tomorrow, and, no doubt Professor Dumbledore will want to know why you were all out of bed." They nodded, and trooped off.

The rest of the term went by in a blur. The reason for Lily's absence was not explained to the students, they were simply told that she was sick. The Marauders did no more tricks that term, and decided to go home for the Christmas holidays. James, who had been visiting everyday, sat next to her the whole day before they had to leave.

"I'm going home for the holidays, but I'll be back next term. By then you'll be back on your feet, and we can talk. I'll miss you like crazy, Lily. I, I love you." He got up, and walked over to Madam Pomfrey, who'd just appeared in the doorway. "Please owl me if there's any change." He said. Madam Pomfrey nodded.

"I will, Mr. Potter, I will."

James left, and hopped on the train.

~AN: Okieday, I don't own Avril Lavigne's song I'm with you, I don't own Hagrid or anyone you recognise. I do own Oliver Zabini, Maleficent Baddock and Narcissa Murl. I also own Lauren Rose.

Thankies to all my reviewers, I love you!