Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of the characters herein, other than the cat Shini-neko. She belongs to me. GW is copyright of… uh, Bandai, Sunrise and some other people… I can't remember who… But not me or any of the people who helped me! But if they would like to sell it to me, I have some bake sale cookies, a PSM magazine collection, and enough money to buy really cheap belly-button lint! The song "My December" is copyright of Linkin Park. *bows and worships Linkin Park poster shrine of which is owned by Strider's sister, the lucky beyotch!*  and I don't own Starbucks ©, if I did, I'd get free Grande Vanilla Chai drink-things whenever I wanted it!!! *involuntary drooling.*  By the way, this ficcy takes place in the city where there's a Starbucks on every corner, New York City! *evil smirk as fireworks go off.* Sorry, I enjoy the Metropolitan Museum. It's quite fascinating! 

Warning: yaoi (shounen-ai, more accurately…), angst (I think), stuff (for lack of a better word.)

Nao-chan: Heheh, Staind isn't in this fic! But… the almighty LINKIN PARK is! Woo-hoo!

Naruku: This takes place after EW. ¬_¬ *shifty eyes Nao-chan.* Read. Enjoy. Review. Ignore Nao-chan.

Title: My December: Songfic

By: Strider Battle

And I
Just wish that
I didn't feel
Like there was
Something I missed
And I
Take back all the things
I said to you

                Duo shook his head in his hands, before peaking out at Heero through a crack in between his fingers. Heero was staring at Duo, his cobalt eyes looking heavy. His left hand kept twitching, as if he wished to hold onto something but was restraining himself from doing so. Duo focused on this for a moment before snapping back to reality and removing his hands from his face.

                "Well, you didn't freeze to death, so that's all that matters, I suppose. Anyway, I was makin' some soup (canned, of course!), so if ya sit down, I'll reheat it and give ya some. You kinda seem to be twitching… Ya cold? The boiler in the building is busted, so it's about as warm as it's gonna get in here…." Duo's voice filled the room, equally as loud as the song that was on, which seemed to be on repeat.  He continued to speak even as Heero sat down, his head resting on top on his folded hands. Heero's eyes followed Duo's every movement, he listened to the spastic sound of Duo'd tenor voice, and he caught every gesticulation.

                Heero found Duo to be fascinating. He always had. He wondered why he'd never really acknowledged it before, but now it was quite obvious that he held more feelings for the braided imbecile than he let on. Duo laughed for a moment, and then turned to look at Heero. Heero continued to stare at Duo, his eyebrow now raised slightly.

                "…but you never even contacted me at all, and from what I've heard from Q-man and Fei-babe, they haven't heard anything from you either. Hell, it's like you fell of the face of the Earth! Even RELENA didn't know where you were, and she's your fuckin' FANCLUB[3]. She called me every few minutes asking if I'd heard from ya! I almost went and shot her, she was so annoying!" Duo smirked at this, almost wishing he had, "But, I still haven't figured it out… where the hell where you?"

                Heero blinked his eyes. "I… don't really know. I was with a group of people, somewhere," he laid his head down on the table tiredly as Duo brought the now heated chicken broth over and placed it on the table, "Where, I don't know." 


And I give it all away
Just to have
Somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone
To come home to

Duo's eyes traced over Heero cautiously as his eyes drooped closed. "We-ell… I'm wondering why you showed up today and not, oh, EARLIER. I didn't think you'd take me that literally…"

                Heero shrugged slightly, his cobalt eyes lightly closed. He listened as Duo sighed and sat down across from him. The table moved slightly, and Heero felt something poke his arm. It was Duo. Opening one eye, Heero looked at Duo sleepily, muttering, "What?"

                "That soup's gonna get cold if ya don't drink… errr… eat… errr…. What the HELL do you do to soup?? Is it eat, drink, slurp, gulp?? Oh, man!" Duo rambled loudly to Heero and then to himself, mostly. Duo saw that Heero was fighting back a smirk, and his eyes widened. "You know what, Heero, I'm glad you showed up today… not glad of how I FOUND you, per-say, but I'm glad nonetheless. So… why today, and not tomorrow?"

                Heero did smirk, smile rather, this time, "I missed my best friend."

                Duo did a double-take, his mouth hanging wide open. "Am I hearing things? Did Mr. I-am-invincible-I-need-no-friends Yuy just call me his best friend? Are you suffering from the cold?"

                Heero couldn't help it, he laughed, and Duo looked even more flabbergasted. " No, you're not hearing things… but, there's more to it…"

                "Well, what else is there?" Duo questioned, over the initial shock that Heero called him his best friend AND laughed consecutively. His heart was in his throat as he wondered. The one thing he wished for Heero to say, more than likely WOULDN'T be said, according to Duo's logic, and he found his mouth dry as he said, hopefully clear and crisp, "I have somethin' to say too, but you probably KNEW that! I'll wait 'til you're done. So, what's up, buddy?"



This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear


                Heero wondered suddenly, how he had gotten himself in a situation where he would have to tell Duo, finally, after dubbing it as insignificant the day of their last mission together. Duo's eyes looked expectantly at him, their amethyst depths still questioning his thoughts. The bangs that framed his heart shaped face covered a section of his eyes, and he looked like a young child. His braid dangled sleepily over his shoulder as Duo just stared. Heero found himself sipping the soup thoughtfully, and closed his eyes for a moment.

                "I want to say something, yet I don't know what to say, or how it begins." He paused, looking into the chicken broth broodingly, "In order for it to begin, it must have an ending. This has no ending, and I doubt it will anytime soon."

                "Heero, you don't necessarily know that. I mean, maybe it does have an ending, whether it's good or bad. I think you just don't want  to say whatever it is because you're afraid. You're afraid that it'll end in a bad way, or maybe you're afraid it'll end too quickly. I don't know. But it scares you, I know that much." Duo sighs. "Sorry, I went off on a tangent… ignore me like always, if you will."

                Heero looked up from the soup and furrowed his brow in concentration. "No, Duo, you're right… I hate to admit it, but you're right. I am afraid. But there's more to the fear than that."

                Again Duo looked flabbergasted, but he didn't speak. He knew Heero needed to speak, for once DUO was doing the listening and he was going to do a good job of it. Heero took the silence the right way and continued.

And I give it all away
Just to have somewhere
To go to
Give it all away
To have someone
To come home to

                "Duo Maxwell, I am aware that I was always cold to you, and that I always seemed to ignore you, but that really…" Heero paused for a moment, looking down at the soup once again before taking a deep breath. He looked back at Duo, square in the eyes, "… but I really did hear your every word. I listened to everything you said. I thought over everything you said."

                Duo couldn't resist any longer, "You had a funny way of showing it. I mean, I spent MONTHS trying to get you to indulge in conversation, but you almost never would. The mission… it was always about the mission…" He sighs and shakes his head. "I guess I spent too much time in my own little world to even notice that you were even paying the smallest hint of attention to what I was saying. I'm holding you up, aren't I?"

                "I, firstly, no matter how much it goes against my ways, want to apologize for always being distant and indifferent. It wasn't directly directed at anyone in particular, least likely you." Heero took a deep breath and I another gulp of the soup. His eyes broke contact with Duo's astonished eyes, and the wind picked up outside, whipping the snow against the window. "Secondly, I want to tell you what I meant to tell you before that last mission. I know you'll condemn me for this, but I believe that I'm taking the wisest course of action in my situation."

                Duo tried to regain eye contact, despite the fact that he felt that he could cut the tension in the air with a thermal scythe. He finally regained the needed eye contact and stared into Heero's cobalt eyes curiously. He remained silent.

                "Duo… I just want to say… ai shiteru." Heero broke the eye contact, looking down like a kicked puppy. His eyes focused on the floor, and when he heard Duo stand, he figured next would come Duo forcing him to leave and never wanting to see him again. But, no harsh words, no shoves towards the door. Just the comforting presence, even though it was quite awkward at the moment, of Duo's hand on Heero's shoulder.

                Duo knelt down in front of Heero, gently pushing his chin up.  

And I give it all away
Just to have somewhere
To go to
Give it all away
To have someone
To come home to

Duo knelt down in front of Heero, gently pushing his chin up. "Listen to me Heero, never be afraid or ashamed to say 'I love you,' it's one of those risks you just hafta take, you know? I'm very glad you took the risk, ya know, because guess what I was gonna explain when you'd finished talkin'?"

Heero looked back into Duo's eyes, and saw something, much like that lifeless spark from 3 years earlier. And then it hit him. That lifeless spark, that darkness from years earlier, was fear. Fear of being alone, rejected, and fear of what he, Heero, would say. Heero saw that image change in Duo's eyes into a look of just the opposite. Heero wanted Duo to continue, so he said, "What?"

"I was gonna say just the same thing! I'm kinda glad you said it before me though… I would've choked on my words. But now I can say it, too. Heero, I love you, too, and I don't think you have a problem with it now." Duo said, a smile crossing his face. He leaned forward and lightly kissed Heero on the forehead. "Not gonna rush anything." He explained.

And Heero smiled. A true, honest to god smile as he latched his arms around Duo in an endless hug, Duo closing his eyes in happiness at the same time. Heero said nothing, he just listened to the sounds of the apartment, to the sound of Duo's breathing.

"Heero… remember that you'll always have someone to come home to."

Shini-neko sauntered out of the room, her tail held high, 'Finally, he can stop moping around.' But which of them she was thinking about is still unknown.   

~Owari

[1] Yes, it's been a long while, and he's still wearing the damned spandex. I'm STILL wondering if they are, in fact, spandex… maybe they're radioactive rubber pants. (Part Two)

[2] Sorry, I want a shirt that says this! Penguins are coooool! *smirks* Have a TAAAACCCOOO!! (Part Two)

[3] As if you needed to be reminded of THAT horrible li'l bit of information.

A/N: Looky!! It's done! Finally!! I am extremely sorry for the holdup, but my muses are evil demonesses' who are, well, evil!  But now it's done, and I can stop worrying about it! I've decided, that since it has taken me so long to do this fic, that I WILL do a follow up. I haven't really decided if it'll be a sequel or a prequel, but I'll figure it out. If I don't follow through with this, I'll try some one-shot fics. BTW, I had to cut out the last little part of the song cause I couldn't think of anything else to write. I love all of the readers!! You're by inspiration, and without ALL of you, this NEVER would have been finished!! *Glomps everyone who read this.* Thanks to my beta reader, who isn't on Fanfiction, but is still a damn good editor, Ashmilstu. She's my bestest friend for helping me write the tougher parts! Love ya all!